11"Painful Memories!

Ah Cy couldn't help the tears that fell off her eyes and she didn't even try to clean them off. The last time she had seen herself like this was seven years ago, so she had every right to be emotional. It had been on her wedding day. Lu Shen had hired the most experienced and the best makeup artist in the whole of Yangshuo and he had paid a fat sum of money which she had been sure she would never been able to earn in her life. That was the only time she had felt like Lu Shen cared about her. But he didn't. He had done that to add to his name and not for anything else.

That day, as she had stared in the mirror, she couldn't believe it was her just like now and tears had dropped off her eyes just like now. The only difference between now and that memory of seven years ago was that the artist had chided her for ruining her hardwork and had made her sit down to redo it. But now, the person behind her didn't mind. She could see him stare at her comfortingly through the mirror and the tears fell even more.

But then, how was it even possible? She had to think about it. She had died looking like a wretched maid, no one could bear to look at what she had become, not even her own mother. If at all she wanted to think that she hadn't died as an answer to her still breathing then how was it possible that she had turned from ugly to beautiful? What was going on? The accident was even supposed to worsen the way she looked but it was the opposite. Was that even possible?

 " I think you're the one with a bad definition of the word,'beautiful' " Jiu Ming said. Ah Cy turned to look at him and that was when he saw the tears in her eyes. His smirking expression was quickly replaced with that of concern.

 " Ah Cy, what's wrong? You're crying" Jiu Ming asked as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

 " I don't understand anything. I don't understand anything that's going on. I'm so confused, it feels like I'm going crazy" Ah Cy sobbed. Jiu Ming couldn't bear to see her like that so he drew her into a hug, an action which he almost immediately regretted. He could feel her get tensed in his arms and he couldn't help but wish she wouldn't see him as a stranger anymore. 

Just as he made to disengage the hug, he felt her wrap her arms around his waist and bury her face in his nape. Her tears dropped on his shirt making him hold her tighter. They stayed like that for what seemed to be a very long time before Ah Cy could calm herself down. She realized herself and tried to wipe her stained face.

 " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I…" she began but she was stopped.

 " Hey! You don't have to. It's okay to cry" Jiu Ming said. He held her hand and made her look in his eyes.

 " You don't have to pretend to be okay with me. I want to be here for you" He said.

More tears fell off Ah Cy's eyes. These were the words she had yearned to hear all her life but all the people close to her, either hated her too much or didn't care at all to say these things but here, a total stranger was exuding this much comfort. It would take all of her effort to not cry.

 " But I don't know you. You don't even know me, how could you be this nice to a stranger?" Ah Cy managed to say, her voice shaky and more tears falling off.

Jiu Ming chuckled lightly.

 " You're right! I don't. But I would like to if you're willing to tell me" he said. Ah Cy saw the sincerity in his eyes and she was amazed. Such good people still existed in the world and she had had to suffer all her life with the likes of Lu Shen and her betraying best friend. Indeed her luck had been cursed but maybe not anymore.

 " Fine! I'll tell you everything" Ah Cy said. She walked past him and settled on a couch. Jiu Ming followed her and sat quietly opposite her. He watched her patiently as she wiped her tears again and drew her nose, then she began,

 " My parents never wanted me. I came at the wrong time and as the wrong gender. My whole life was devoid of any sort of family love but all of it was shown to my younger brother. It hurt me. It hurt me every day to see how he got everything he wanted and I was simply just kept aside. It was hard, harder than anything else. They didn't care if I was happy but they sure did care if I was sad. My dad beat me everytime I cried about anything but my younger brother was begged to stop crying, they starved me if I did anything wrong and if my brother did anything wrong, they'd put the blame on me. My childhood was like hell. My brother picked up their habit. The first day he insulted me, I hit him. And… and my father beat me up that day in such a way that I would never forget. He locked me up for three days without food and water… and…and my mother did nothing about it. I was 14 then, just about entering high school. That was then I realized that I wasn't loved at all. And that was when I started searching elsewhere for the love I desperately needed" Ah Cy stopped and swallowed. She hated remembering these painful memories. But if sharing them would help her heal then she was willing to.

 " That was when I met Chang Yang. She was from a rich home and her parents were friends of mine. She became my best friend. She understood me and was always there for me every single time. She stood up for me when I was bullied and bought me lunch if my parents starved me. She understood my every mood and didn't mind it if I started crying out of the blue. She was my new lifeline, the only reason I had to live. All through the so many years of our friendship, I didn't have the slightest reason to doubt her loyalty. I had never in my life expected to be… to be betrayed by…" She couldn't finish when the tears came pouring. Jiu Ming sat patiently, giving her all the time she needed to calm herself and making sure to make the aura of the room as comfortable as it could ever be. When Ah Cy could stop the tears, she continued,

 " When I turned 20, I heard that the CEO of the company my Dad worked under was desperately searching for a wife. She had to be beautiful and from a well-to-do family, that was all the requirements. So I applied! Funny, right? I had to go through an application to become someone's wife. The perks of being rich, I guess" Ah Cy chuckled lightly but it was clearly not real.

 " I was rejected. His parents were in charge of the process and they rejected me at first sight. I couldn't bear another cycle of rejection so I tried several desperate means, including begging. I begged them but they wouldn't listen to me. Instead, it made them hate me even more. I disgusted them, I could tell but I couldn't tell why. I wasn't ready to give up though. For the first time in my life, I had set my mind on something and I wasn't going to give up on it. So I made Chang Yang set arrange a meeting between me and Lu Shen, the CEO I wanted to get married to. He was rude, arrogant and very harsh on me. When I told him what I wanted, he laughed dryly and said he had better things to do than talk to me. That hurt me but I wasn't ready to give up. So I begged him, just like I did his parents. He humiliated me publicly, in front of everyone in the room and then walked out on me. I felt miserable. I felt broken. I wanted to just give up on everything, my life as a whole. I was certain no one wanted me. I was certain my life was useless at that point. I almost drove a knife through my heart but Chang Yang stopped me. She comforted me and told me everything would be alright. I believed her. I always believed her, no matter what it was. She was my best friend afterall. She meant the best for me, or so I thought"

 " Three days later, I got a call from an unknown number saying Lu Shen had sent him to inform me that they had an offer for me. I hurriedly showed up at the assigned place. I met Lu Shen and he told me that he had accepted for me to be his wife. He said he liked the fact that I didn't give up after being rejected by his parents. I knew he was mocking me but I was as happy as nothing else. He made me sign a contract that I would listen to everything he says and everything meant everything. I accepted. What was the worse that could come? I was willing to do anything to leave my father's house and show them that I could be something in life, even if 'something' was being the slaved wife of a rich CEO."

 " My parents opposed the marriage outrightly. They were willing to do anything to make sure it didn't happen but I didn't understand why then. My parents had influence but Lu Shen had more influence. He was the CEO afterall and one word form him would make my dad lose his job. So they had no choice but to listen to him. They stopped opposing and disowned me instead. I had told them that there was no need for me to be called their daughter anymore cause that's what I thought. I thought… I thought that my marriage would be a bed of roses. I thought I would find love in him, the love I had yearned for for so long, literally all my life. He was rude and very arrogant, didn't look like someone who would care about anyone but himself. But I thought I could change him, you know, like romance novels where the rich CEO changes for a normal girl, yeah something like that" Ah Cy chuckled dryly again, her heart was heavy and she could feel the tears threathening to fall.

 " Lu Shen never looked at me. He didn't touch me on our wedding night. The first week after our wedding, he left the house and didn't even tell me. I learnt it from the maids that he was on a business trip. That hurt me but I bore it. I bore it for the first year and then I couldn't anymore. I complained to Chang Yang since they were friends. She told me she would talk to him and my hopes were raised. It got worse though. He stopped eating the meals I prepared for him and began coming home late. He'd leave early before I even woke up. It was getting to three years in our marriage and we hadn't done anything together. The only time he talked to me was when he wanted us to go to a ball and a party together. He'd buy me expensive dresses and show me off to his colleagues in public and when we get back home, he'll turn into a total stranger. It was all PDA. I wanted him though and I didn't hide it. Somehow,I had begun to have feelings for the cold hearted devil. I had desires that needed to be satisfied but he acted like he didn't notice. One certain night, I decided to stay up till he'll return and tell him how I felt. He was my husband afterall. When he came home, it was almost midnight. He was surprised to still see me awake but he didn't care to ask why. I tried to welcome him but he ignored me and made to walk past. That was when I did the unthinkable. I stopped him and asked why he came home so late. He was shocked by my action and then his shock turned to rage. He didn't hit me but the way he looked at me made me freeze and the words he said pierced through my heart. I still remember them like it was yesterday. He said I had no right to question him and that I better know my place. He said I was worthless and that I meant nothing to him. I could never be his wife even if I tried. I was hurt and he didn't care. He walked out on me leaving me to cry to myself all night. I was broken. This wasn't the marriage I had dreamt of. This wasn't the life I had thought of. Again, I turned to my best friend. She comforted me as always. She told me she'll handle it. Stupid me, I believed her. I was so stupid" Ah Cy stopped as the tears fell again.

 " Chang Yang began staying with us at weekends. She said maybe a third person would lighten the atmosphere of the house. I welcomed her, I loved her company. At least, during the times she was with me, I was happy. Lu Shen didn't mind, not like he cared. There was no difference in his behavior, he remained indifferent. But I decided to be content. Trouble came when Lu Shen's parents decided to spend their vacation in their son's house. With each passing day, I faced a different kind of embarrassment. They made sure to humiliate and insult me in anyway they could. My life got worse. Chang Yang was there with me, of course. She kept giving me different kind of advice. She told me that I had to stop taking too much care of myself and focus on taking care of my husband. She said my parents in law thought I was after their son's money so I'd have to prove otherwise to them. She said so many things and stupid me, I listened to every one of them. Slowly I let myself go. I became a shadow of myself. I discarded all my expensive dresses and got cheaper ones. I sold out my make up kit. I stopped going for a hairdo every weekend. I stopped taking care of myself completely just as Chang Yang had said. It didn't make it any better but I didn't stop. I barely had any sleep. I used to wait up every night for Lu Shen to come home and wake up as early as he did so I could prepare breakfast for him, he never for once touched it or even said a word of appreciation for my hardwork and effort. All I ever got from him was a frosty glare everytime I tried to talk to him" Ah Cy stopped again. She sniffed and cleaned her tears.

 " I lost weight. Became a total different person from the beautiful lady I had been. I became…ugly. If Lu Shen didn't look at me as beautiful as I was, you could imagine just what it felt like now. Years went by. Things got worse. My life got even miserable with each passing day. Chang Yang kept telling me that she was going to take care of it and I kept believing her until… until I… until I found out she was having an affair with my husband" Ah Cy broke down as she finally let this out.

 " I don't know where I went wrong. I don't know what I did wrong. My whole life was shattered. I was hurt, more than ever before. He gave me divorce papers with his signature already on it. Seven years, I wasted seven years of my life. They kicked me out of the house. I went to my parents and my father threatened to kill me if I didn't leave his house. I had nowhere to go, no one to turn to. I was broken and homeless. So I hope you can see why I drove myself off the bridge. There was no use for my life"

There was silence. Ah Cy finished off and wiped her face like she hadn't been crying at all.

 " I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that" Jiu Ming finally said.

 " You don't have to be sorry. It wasn't your fault actually. My luck was just cursed" Ah Cy said, leaning into the couch and crossing her arms.

 " How did you find out they were having an affair?" Jiu Ming asked after another period of silence.

 " Lu Shen's parents began bragging in my face that their son was going to find someone better, someone who was worth it. I was worried but I didn't know what they were talking about. And then Chang Yang began distancing herself. She started acting cold towards me, wasn't there for me as she used to be. When I asked her about it, she told me she was taking what belonged to her. I didn't understand until I came home from the market on a certain day and met them together in a very intimate position. I flared up and that was when she told me everything, how she and Lu Shen were planning to get married. I asked Lu Shen about it and he didn't deny. That was how I knew that it was over for me" Ah Cy said.

 " I'm sorry again"

 " Thanks"

 " But I don't understand anything. I died. I know I did. How am i still alive? And how come I'm as beautiful as I was 7 years ago? I don't understand anything"

 " Maybe you've been reborn?" Jiu Ming said. His voice was quiet but she could hear him.

 " Is that even possible? I've never believed in such things" Ah Cy said.

 " Me neither but you'll never know. That's the only possibility I can think of. It explains why your appearance changed. Maybe that's what happened"

As Ah Cy thought of it, she began to consider the possibility. That might be it. That had to be it. It was the only explanation. She was reborn. Her luck might have given her a second chance afterall. But why?

 " Do you think the chain had something to do with it?" Ah Cy asked as her hand went to the chain. 

 " Maybe!"

Ah Cy sighed. So many questions that were running through her head. She needed answers but she didn't know where to find them.

 " Wait!" Jiu Ming said all of a sudden.

 " What?"

 " Did you say Lu Shen is your husband?" Jiu Ming asked.

 " Was! Yes he was"

 " You mean the CEO of Shen Enterprises?" Jiu Ming asked again.

 " Yes. Why are you asking?"

 " The boss of Red mafia?" Jiu Ming asked again making Ah Cy's eyes widen. How did he know that? Not many people knew that Lu Shen was a mafia boss, how did this stranger know about it?

 " How did you know that?"

 " Lu Shen had an accident" Jiu Ming said, tactically ignoring her question but Ah Cy didn't even notice. The word 'accident' rang in her head.

 " What?"

 " Lu Shen had an accident at Yulong bridge about a week ago" Jiu Ming repeated.

 " That was where I tried to kill myself" Ah Cy said to herself.

 " He's currently in a coma but we don't know for how long"

Ah Cy gasped. Was he saying the truth?

 " What happened to him?" She couldn't help but ask.

 " According to what was said on the news, he had a head-on collision with an ambulance at the bridge. It was at night and his speed was too much, he became unconscious at the spot and he hasn't woken up since then"

 " Oh My! God" Ah Cy cried as it dawned on her. She had caused the accident. The ambulance was there because of her. What had she done?

 " Are you okay? " Jiu Ming asked.

 " I have so many questions right now" Ah Cy said.

 " I'll be surprised that you're worried about him after everything. I think we should focus on thanking our stars that you had another chance rather than asking too much questions. We should focus on making the best out of the second chance you were given"

 " We?"

 " I'm here for you, you know. When I found you there that day, I told you that I just couldn't look away. And now I know everything's that has happened to you, I want to be there for you, fill up the space your loved ones left, if only you'll give me a chance " Jiu Ming said. Ah Cy saw the concern in his eyes and again, it confused and lightened her heart.

 " I'm willing to help you pay back all the people that hurt you. I'm willing to help you with your revenge"

Ah Cy eyes widened. She hadn't thought of revenge, though thinking about it now did feel pleasant. It would be really nice to watch every single person that hurt her suffer just like she did. But she wasn't that kind of person. She had a tender heart and she might not be able to handle it.

 " I'm tired. I need to rest" Ah Cy said as she stood up. She could feel her head pounding.

 " Sure. Think about it though" Jiu Ming said.

 " I will. Where's the room please?" Ah Cy asked.

 " I'll take you" Jiu Ming offered and stood up to lead her to her room. They walked into the corridor Ah Cy had found herself earlier before and then got into the same room. They bade each other goodnight and Jiu Ming left the room, closing the door behind him and leaving Ah Cy to her numerous thoughts.