Chapter 1

*Lenora*

I placed the strap of my bag carefully on my shoulder, clearing out the rest of the books on my desk. It had been a very exhausting day and I was more than ready to get back home. Actually, that was partly true. I wasn't exactly sure which I preferred anymore; my class room or my tiny apartment. I walked to the door, turning to cast one last glance round the room before I walked out. For a few months now I've been getting different letters in my mailbox, stating that Jax had asked for me to return to the pack. It was never happening, of course.

I'd rather give up my own life.

I walked out of the building and dialed up a cab. I only had to wait a few minutes before it arrived. I was always extremely careful about the cabs I got into. I wouldn't put it past Jax to end up doing something extremely rash only because he was angry and desperate about me returning. Plus it was a little risky living among humans. I was careful to not give up the fact that I had a few supernatural abilities but one could never know. It was possible for someone to be on to me.

Knowing these humans, they would probably have me sedated with a lot of drugs in a lab somewhere as they prepared to cut me open all in the name of science. I paid the cab driver and then got out, walking the remaining blocks to my apartment. Even he didn't know my exact address. I've been through so much to not get out of it all knowing that I should trust no one. It was exactly as they said, once bitten twice shy.

I got to my apartment, stopping to check the mailbox. Just like the other times, there was a white envelope waiting for me. I closed the mailbox, looking around to make sure no one was trailing me and then proceeded to walk into my small apartment. Turning the light on as I simultaneously kicked the door shut with my foot, I flipped the envelope and over, my eyes searching for the tiny and hidden pack emblem I knew was definitely on it.

Ah, there you are.

I pulled my bag off my shoulder, carefully dropping it on the small table at the center of the room and walking to my fridge to get my routine afternoon glass of cold apple juice. Pouring a little bit into an empty cup, I took a swig and then walked to sit down on my couch. I carefully placed the glass on the table, crossing my legs beneath me as I took out the letter from inside the envelope. I inhaled a slow calming breath before reading.

'Dear Lenora,

This is probably the last letter you'll get before we decide to take matters into our own hands. Your presence is highly and urgently requested back on pack grounds. Thank you.

Yours faithfully,

RCC.'

I blinked once and then twice, my brain trying to make sense of the words I'd just read. I read the letter at least five more times before I squeezed it and then threw it into my trash can, scoffing angrily. RCC of course meant Red Cove Council. They'd been sending messages nonstop for the past six weeks, asking that I return to the pack for whatever reason. How had they even been able to find me? It didn't matter though. They didn't seem to be getting the message that I still didn't give a shit what they wanted.

Not after everything they had done to me.

It wasn't like I had expected Jax to suddenly be interested in me after finding out I was his mate. He already hated me because I was a lowly orphaned kitchen volunteer who couldn't seem to mind her own business or do anything right. Finding out that he was so unfortunate to have been mate to me had obviously been the last straw. I had thought that his treatment of me couldn't get any worse and it turned out that I had clearly been mistaken.

First he didn't even deem it necessary to let the entire pack know that we were mates. I was certain it was only the members of the council who had been aware of the fact that he was my mate. Like that wasn't enough, he set out to make my life even more unbearable than it already was. He made sure that I was given double my portion of work and he seemed to always be lurking in the corners at my every turn, constantly reminding me that I wasn't worthy of being his mate.

Worthy of being his queen.

Which was fine, actually. I had no interest in being any of those things. I'd rather be unmated for the rest of my years than be mated to a beast like him. I had thought it was all going to be simple. Well, as simple as it could possibly be. He didn't want to acknowledge that I was his mate? Fine. He didn't want me telling anyone he was my mate? Swell. I had no problem with that. I'd already told the only two people I needed to tell, Beth and Noah, and I had made them swear to not tell anyone else.

I was absolutely comfortable going about my daily business of doing my own part of the cooking for the entire pack and acting like Jax and I weren't supposed to be already mated. He made sure to leave the pack for a few weeks whenever I was in heat. At first it had stung a little bit, just as the pain I'd been in had been so intense that I had asked the goddess for death in the heat of the moment.

But everything turned out fine in the end.

I'd learnt to not care and to simply take everything in stride. I had taught myself to become used to both his disappearance and the pain I had to go through for not mating with him whenever I was in heat. We could simply forget about each other's existence except for the days where he felt the need to remind me that I was a worthless piece of trash. I could actually see myself living like that comfortably for a couple of years at least. Until Claire had decided to take matters into her own hands.

See now, Claire was Jax's confidante. She was practically his best friend. They were so close that he'd included her in the council as the pack adviser. She was the one he went to first whenever he needed to confide in someone or ask for advice. Which despite the fact that I was his mate would have been an awesome thing, really. If she wasn't a total bitch. And if she also wasn't secretly in love with him.

Jax was the one who hated me the most, but she was a very close second. Like Jax, she somehow also felt the need to constantly remind me of my status in the pack. She acted like it was her sole duty to remind me that I was nothing. Meh. I couldn't give a rat ass what she thought. What any of them thought actually. But then after Jax and I had realized we were mates and I was guessing he had let her in on that fact, her hate had seemed to multiply.

Probably because before she only hated the fact that a little slave such as myself would dare to speak up when I felt that things weren't right. At least then she didn't have to bother that there was any kind of connection between Jax and myself. Unlike when she'd realized we were mates. A few times it had occurred to me that her dislike for me had only increased because she felt threatened by that fact. But then I would always brush the thought off.

It was absolutely ridiculous.

There was no way the high and mighty Claire would ever feel threatened by a lowly volunteer. It didn't matter whether or not I was Jax's mate. She of all people would know how much he hated me. I had told myself her unrequited feelings for Jax which he knew absolutely nothing about and the fact that he was my mate wasn't why she suddenly seemed to want me gone from the pack entirely. Because it had been what I had thought.

Until that morning.

I'd taken one look at the sinister look Claire had been giving me from behind a pissed off Jax as I lay in bed with Noah, both of us having nothing on except our underwear, and had known that it had all been a set up. And she'd been the mastermind behind it all. She'd probably put something in my drink during the annual pack thanksgiving ceremony the previous night.

Somehow I knew that Jax wasn't aware of that fact but I didn't care. I already hated him. I could still remember every detail of that morning like it had happened only just yesterday. Beth had been standing a few feet from Jax and Claire, surprise a bit of fear in her eyes. Surprise because her, Noah and I were best friends and I hadn't told her anything about being interested in him. Fear because she knew that we were both obviously in trouble.

In that moment I had wanted to ask Claire and Jax why they were even concerned about seeing us in bed together. Not that anything had happened, of course. Still, if it had, it was none of their business. They both couldn't give a shit about what I was up to. And the pack didn't know Jax and I were mates anyway. So it wasn't like I was going to be making a fool out of him or anything if I chose to get intimate or involved with someone else.

Thankfully, I'd had the common sense to not voice out those thoughts. Something about the way Jax kept staring between the both of us had let me know that the situation was bad. Very bad. And it had gotten worse when I'd stupidly let go of the sheets and had flashed him my boobs, shutting down whatever doubt he might have had as to whether or not we had actually been doing anything.

He'd had Noah locked up in the dungeon and had then locked me up in the basement, knowing very well that I was intensely afraid of the dark. It was something I'd only told Beth and since he showed up just a second after my conversation with her I was sure he had been eavesdropping. I'd cried and screamed and trashed like I had never done before in my entire life. Even though we hadn't gotten intimate and hadn't activated the mindlink and therefore didn't have our emotions connected to one another, I had still wondered if even a small part of him hadn't been able to feel my pain.

Or if he'd simply ignored it.

Either way, I'd spent the forty eight hours I'd stayed locked up in that basement, promising myself that I was going to make both their lives hell in any way that I could. After those two days, he ordered for me to be brought out of the basement and exiled both Noah and I from the pack, instantly making us rogues. Then he proceeded to reject me as his mate in front of the council. The biggest mistake he ever made.

Because I hadn't accepted his rejection.

I'd known that accepting his rejection was going to shatter the last connection I had to him and I hadn't wanted that. I'd realized the only way I could punish both of them and had taken it. He'd already exiled me so I wasn't a member of the pack any longer. I had to leave. But I was going to leave as his mate, knowing very well that he had to pick a mate soon to fortify his duties and position as King and being aware of the fact that he wasn't going to be able to mate with anyone else as long as I was still his mate. Something both the council and him had failed to realize when they'd scoffed at my refusal to accept his rejection and announced that I was leaving the pack anyway.

Which was exactly what I'd wanted.

My only guess was that they were only realizing it now and that was why they were so desperate to have me back. He probably wanted to mate with Claire. But I wasn't going anywhere. Because I now had another reason to hate them all. Noah had gotten killed when we'd been attacked by three other rogues. I barely survived myself, wanting to make sure that I killed the three wolves to avenge his death.

I rinsed my glass in the sink as I picked up my bag, inwards groaning at the thought that I had a few essays to grade. Deciding to forget all about my life as a werewolf and blending with humans in their own world had been the best decision I had ever made. For one, I loved my job as a middle school teacher, despite the fact that it was stressful. And secondly, I still had the perks of being able to secretly use my werewolf abilities to get things done faster.

Jax was delusional if he thought I was ever coming back.