8. REBIRTH

''Everybody dies. Surprise, surprise''. Billie Eilish.

Sometimes, you may seem lost for a while. To you, it may look like a very short while, like taking a nap. But to others, it was the longest sleep you have ever had and when you finally wake up in the morning, afternoon or even late at night, you would be surprised by the number of questions you would be asked. It may annoy you and you might create an unnecessary scene, but when you calm down and think about it, you would realize that their concern shows their love for you, because, what you did rarely happens and it probably shook them to the core.

🎇🎇🎇

Though there wasn't a crowd awaiting me, I knew, even in my darkest moments that a special soul was breaking apart by my silence. And even though it felt nice to finally be free from this unfair world, devoid of pain and loss, I had to wake up. I had to let him know I was fine and so I fought. I was entangled in a web of pain, defeat and loss, breaking free was not an easy task but I had to try. If not for anyone, if not for myself even, then for him, for the one person who stood by my side in both rough and smooth times, for the one person who had been holding onto me when no one else did, for my brother, for Jay. So in the little corner of my brain, the only part that was active, I fought and fought, I kicked, I punched, I tore, I broke, I screamed my lungs out, I cried, I wailed, I sobbed, I went crazy because anytime I rested, I became entangled all over and I had to start again. I did not give up though because I knew he was worth every blood drop, every sweat, every miserable tear. My efforts paid off and finally, after a long time, I broke free, completely. I took a deep breath and all the numbness cleared, I became active and alert. I could feel my arms, legs and body again. I gave a proud feeble smile, but I did not open my eyes. I wanted to savor the moment, swim in my victory over death before facing reality. But there was this pain I felt at the left side of my tummy and this annoying beeping sound nearby that I wanted to turn off seriously but as I moved my hand to do so, I felt a wire along my arm and one under my nose. I panicked for a while, because I thought I was back inside the painful web in my tiny brain and my reaction made the beeping sound blare. I felt foreign hands rub my arms soothingly, trying to calm me down. ''Breath dear''. A professional voice said, I obeyed and after a while, the annoying beeping sound went down. ''If you can hear me miss, you have passed the danger zone. To be honest, none of us thought you would make it but you did and your survival is a real miracle''. The voice went on to say. 'Of course, I had to survive, I can not and would not leave Jay alone. He would probably, no, surely die too and I would not allow my family be wiped out this horribly'. I thought with a sigh. My eyes opened slowly but closed quickly. 'Who fixed such bright bulbs? And why is the ceiling white? In fact, the whole room is white. ''Should I dim the lights dear?'' The voice beside me, a lady asked. But I shook my head, no, tried again and this time around, was successful. I tried to speak but my throat was very dry and I indicated to the lady that I needed a drink. She quickly poured some water from the jug on the table and helped me up into a sitting position to be able to drink it. I gulped it all down and requested for more but after the third time, she refused to give me any and I agreed because according to her, it will make me feel nauseous. ''Jay''. I asked, looking around. ''He went out a few minutes ago to get something to eat. He even asked you what you would like, he has been doing that for a while now, just hoping that one day you would reply, silly young man.'' She chuckled, shaking her head. ''But anyways,'' She continued. ''He was reluctant to go but I insisted he does because he really needs energy to take care of you and himself since he donated one of his kidneys to you''. My eyes widened at that. ''Wait, he did what?! But why? How? When?''. I enquired. ''Hush, calm down. You were a total mess when you were brought in. You were bleeding both internally and externally. Your left kidney was severely damaged due to the force of the car hit and your heavy fall. You needed a transplant immediately and your brother, bless him, decided to give you one his, without hesitation. Luckily for you, his kidney fitted perfectly and his fast decision really helped us into saving you. All hope was lost dear, or so we thought, but you surprised us by pushing through. You really are a beautiful, strong young lady. She said smiling. ''Okay, that explains the pain on my left side''. I sighed. ''But what is this place, a pathway to heaven? Why are the walls soo white, the bulbs soo bright, why am I in this ridiculous dress, why do I feel soo weird and most importantly, how long have I been here?''. I asked in one breath. She laughed heartedly, whiles I just looked at her with confused eyes, before replying. ''Slow down dear, first things first. This place is a hospital and everything looks whitish because the place needs to be kept neat at all times. Also, the fluids in your system is what is making you feel weird. Plus, you have been here for a while now, say a couple of months, almost a year. We have already celebrated both your birthday and Christmas with you sleeping peacefully through it all''. My eyes became misty and I sniffed. ''I can not believe I am seventeen now. All these months wasted? I could not even celebrate Christmas with Jay and this was our first one together. I did not give him a gift too''. The lady, doctor, I assume, looked at me fondly and hugged me sideways. ''Oh you poor dear. You are awake now and honestly, that is all that matters and I am sure it would be the best present to ever give your brother. Seriously ever.'' She said, flipping her hands in the air, which made me smile. ''Well, I guess it was not soo bad and Jay did not really enjoy it right?'' I questioned. ''It was not soo bad, I mean all the nurses and doctors were around, so you could imagine. And, you are right, Jay did not enjoy it for numerous reasons. One, he was worried that the noise would disturb you and make you feel uncomfortable, but, two, he also expected you to make a move, even a slight one just to show your discomfort. Well, you just lay there, stiff as a stone and his disappointment was etched into every line of his fa-''. She was cut off by a loud crash by the door. My heart jumped to my throat as we turned to look at the cause of the sound. I was expecting to see a fallen patient who has broken his or her ribs, only to see a gaping, wide eyed Jay and a broken plate with food on the floor. Guess he did not expect to see me so soon. We locked eyes and everything around us became faint, distanced. I could not believe I am seeing my Jay after soo long, I kept my eyes on him and so did he. Well, he had grown beard and looked really old and tired but he was still my Jay. After a full sixty seconds of not moving a muscle, I breathed out his name ''Jay''. That was all he needed to break free from his trance, he ran and scooped me up gently then we broke down uncontrollably. ''Jay'', I sobbed. ''I thought I would never see you again. It was soo dark and I was soo scared.'' ''Hush, you are here now my dear. I waited for soo long, but I never doubted you and I am soo glad to hold you in my arms again.'' He said amidst tears. Click, we heard a camera snap. We turned to glare at the lady doctor. ''Really, Ivy. Don't you know that this a special moment?''. Jay reprimanded. ''Sorry, I can't let this moment pass without a picture, you know me and pictures and this is very genuine''. She stated, unashamed. We shook our heads and looked at each other with a smile whiles the tears streamed down our faces. Jay, touched my cheek, hesitated, then kissed me gently. Since I became a teenager, I have always complained of his kisses, but now, I was just soo happy that I kissed him back. He pulled me in for a hug and whispered in my ear ''You did it''. I shook my head and whispered back ''God did''. He smiled and peg my cheeks, my forehead and my lips. Just then I felt a foreign feeling, different from the one that brought disaster and I prayed that with my rebirth, something good should take place. Well, I guess God had his own surprise in store for me, no screw that, for us.