July 13th, 2023

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse.

My father was sitting in the kitchen and Jay stepped back with a yelp when Dad turned his brooding gaze towards the lightning ninja. Nya stepped into the kitchen and grabbed her fiance's arm, dragging him out of the kitchen. I seethed, feeling mixed feelings churn inside me. How come people treated my father with fear but treated me like I'm just the same average person? At the same time, I wanted to approach my father, but I wanted to stay away from him as much as possible. He never tried to talk to me, so why should I bother? 

Because you're a better person. A voice whispered inside my head and I sighed. Screw it. I went over to my dad and sat down next to him, grabbing an apple out of the fruit bowl, "Hey, Dad."

My father looked over at me, "Livana." He muttered, looking down at his four hands. 

After a moment of silence, I asked, "Where have you been, Dad?"

"Places." Dad replied simply, "Some good, some bad. Either way, you don't need to worry about me."

"Who said I was worried about you?" I sniped and Dad looked at me. I swallowed a bite of apple and then added, "You look just fine." 

"Hm." Dad sipped on a cup of hot tea and I saw Lloyd peek through. He mouthed "come here" to me and I picked up the apple, looking over at my dad.

"I'll talk to you later." I then walked over to Lloyd and asked, "What? Can't you see I was trying to make an effort to talk to Dad? Did you really need to pull me out of there now?" 

"Sorry." Lloyd shrugged his shoulders sheepishly, "But Mom wants to talk to you."

My vision turned into a blurry red at the mention of my mother and I shoved down the unnecessary anger. I glanced into the mirror and saw myself, with the same bright green eyes, just like Lloyd's. I looked back at my brother, and I said, "Why does she wanna talk to me?"

"Come on, Liv." Lloyd sighed, "You've been avoiding her all morning and all of last night. Couldn't you at least say a word to her? You know that Mom feels bad that she didn't warn you ahead of time that Dad was gonna be coming."

"And why didn't she warn me?" I asked, throwing my hands up, "Why didn't she tell me that Dad was coming over for support, or mentoring, or whatever the hell he came over here for?" I sighed, brushing a long strand of hair that had fallen out of my braid, "I am in an extremely annoyed state right now, and Mom just added the cherry on top. I'm surprised that I haven't exploded yet, brother." 

"Look, maybe you should talk to Mom about what you're going through, you know?" Lloyd says, "The only one that can tell us what's going on is you. You are the only one that truly understands yourself, Liv."

"No." I shook my head, "Not anymore, I don't."

"What…?" Lloyd murmured.

"I don't get myself anymore, Lloyd." I said in a firm voice, "I don't know who I am. My personality is always shifting in and out, in and out, like a shadow. I'm someone one day and someone else the next." I sucked in a breath, trying not to cry again. "I don't know who I am, Lloyd. I really don't know…"

"Liv." Lloyd wrapped his arms around my shoulders, "I'm sorry." He hugged me and I started shaking. "Maybe… you don't have to talk to Mom for now. Maybe talk to Dad. Maybe he experienced this beforehand and he knows how to solve this problem. Maybe… Dad can help you, despite the fact that might not be why he came here."

"You know how I feel about Dad." I rubbed my arm with one hand, "Complicated."

"Just talk to him." Lloyd urged, "Please, Livvy. I don't wanna see you like this."

"Like what?" I asked, pushing my hair off my neck and grabbing it with one hand, as if I was going to tie my hair into a ponytail.

"Tortured. Hurt. Always confused. Thinking that you should just-" Lloyd drew a horizontal line across his neck with his thumb.

"I'm not that suicidal." I muttered, getting up, "But sure, I'll talk to Dad. Maybe if he makes me feel better, I'll talk to Mom too." I then went back over to the kitchen when I suddenly saw my father holding Zane up by the neck. Zane gasped and P.I.X.A.L was on the floor. I screamed and leapt at my father, grabbing the hand that was holding Zane up and yanking it down. My father looked at me, surprised, before he let Zane down onto the table. His eyes stopped glowing red and I panted.

"Livana…" Dad let go of Zane and P.I.X.A.L groaned, crawling to her feet. She looked at me with her electronic green eyes, and she winced when she saw my tears flowing freely.

"What the hell, Dad?!" I shouted, my arms at my sides. "What are you doing?!'

"I'm sorry." Dad said, grabbing the sides of the table with all four of his hands, "I didn't mean to… I… I don't know what it was." 

I held in a sharp sob as I spoke, jabbing a finger at my guilty father, "You came here to be with me. You came here to support me, maybe even help me. Isn't that what Mom sent you here to do?" 

"Yes." Dad nodded, his voice soft.

"Then why are you showing me your dark side, Dad?" I let out a broken cry, "Why are you doing this? Why are you showing me what I could become? Why are you showing me the old you?" 

"There was never a new me!" Dad shouted, pounding a hand onto the table, making me take a step back, my form trembling, "I was always like this. I was always violent, I always hurt people, and in the end, I'm the only one left standing with blood on my hands." My father held his hands up to his eyes and pressed two against his closed eyelids, "I can't be a good father."

"Dad!" Lloyd cried as he ran into the kitchen, "What happened?"

Unable to take this anymore, I ran towards the monastery doors and broke through them, tears blinding me. I knew it wasn't wise to run on the side of a cliff while you were semi-blind, but I continued to run. Shoving all thoughts aside, I ran far away from that place. Far away from the betrayers, far away from the pain, far away from where the one person I thought could help me… failed.

-:-:-:-:-:-

The lights in the alley were colorful. But I found none of those lights alluring. In fact, I was only looking for one store.

Skylar's noodle store. I really needed to talk to her.

I pulled the hoodie on me tighter and then pushed open the door to the shop, sitting down onto a chair by the bar. I technically wasn't allowed there, but I wasn't here for a drink. Skylar polished a glass and then turned around to face me with a placid smile, "Hi! Welcome to Chen's noodle house. How may I-" She glanced at my tear stained face and my hunched figure and then whispered, "Oh, Livvy." 

"He messed up." I sobbed, "He freaking messed up." 

"Oh, man." Skylar reached over the counter and hugged me, her red ponytail swishing against the side of my hood, "It's okay. Shhh, don't cry. It's okay."

"That's what everyone says, but it's not true." I said, "Stop lying to me."

"Oh, Livvy." Skylar sighed, "Would you like some hot noodles? Those always calm me down." Skylar gestured at the sushi bar section, "Or you can have a potsticker. All these are on the house, I promise."

"I'm not hungry." I hugged myself, just as my stomach growled. 

"You are a terrible liar." Skylar teased, "Here. Take this." She handed me a plate of cucumber sushi and some different varieties of sauces. 

"Thank you." I whispered hoarsely and then shoved a cucumber sushi in my mouth to stop thinking about what had happened back home. I wished that everything would just stop. Just stop… all of it.

"So," Skylar set down a towel, "wanna talk about it?" 

"Sky, you had an evil dad too, right?" I asked after drinking some water and Skylar winced, but she nodded. "Did your dad ever… treat you well?..."

"To be honest?" Skylar shook her head, "Never. He only treated me "well", if you will, when I went into his evil schemes. I betrayed Kai once, because of my dad. When I chose the ninjas, he kidnapped me and chained me to a wall." I choked on the cucumber sushi and Skylar nodded. "Yep. That's Master Chen right there." 

I remained silent and glanced at my hands. They had stopped trembling.

"Look, Liv," Skylar reached forward and grabbed my hands gently, "I think that your dad deserves a chance. At least he's still around to try and get back into your life. Your dad is the biggest villain that Ninjago has seen, yes, but now he's turning around. He's here for you, Liv." I looked up at Skylar, "I suggest that you take that chance with you." 

I nodded my head and Skylar smiled at me. "Thanks, Sky." I brushed a strand of hair aside, "I'm gonna go home now."

"Cool." Skylar smiled, "From one villain's child to another." 

"From one villain's child to another." I murmured as I walked out the door.

-:-:-:-:-

When I walked into Mom and Dad's guest room, my father shot up from his seat immediately. He walked over to me and wrapped his top two arms around my shoulders, pulling me into an embrace. I hesitantly hugged him back and then pulled away, "Hi, Dad."

"I'm so sorry, Liv." Dad crouched in front of me, "I was supposed to come here to help, but instead all I did was make things worse. I showed you a side you wished you didn't have…"

"It's okay." I said, holding up a hand, "I just… needed some time. Are Zane and P.I.X.A.L okay? Have you checked with them?" 

"Yes, I checked with them. It was a sudden urge, I don't know why-" My dad was cut off when I rubbed his back, hugging him once again.

"Hey, Dad. It's okay. It's gonna be okay." I whispered, "I know that everyone always says that, but I mean it. I don't break promises, Dad." I buried my face into my dad's shoulder, "I love you, Dad." 

"I love you too, Livvy." My father whispered and Mom came over, putting a hand on my shoulder and pulling me away from my dad's hug.

"Liv, I need to talk to you." Mom said, her hand on my shoulder. "Listen. I'm sorry that I didn't warn you about your father being here. I thought that… I thought you would appreciate the help. But you were going through so much already, I didn't want to tell you, afraid of what you might say. But you are my daughter and I shouldn't be sneaking behind your back. I am so sorry, Livana."

I shook my head, "It's okay, Mom. It's not a big deal anymore. Dad's here. We're all okay." Mom hugged me and I hugged her back. "I'm here, Mom. I'm here." 

"Thank you." Mom whispered, "We'll try our best to get through this, Liv." 

"I know." I sighed. Deep down, the shadowy feeling of my power had gone down a little, hidden itself within me. But I knew that when the time was right, I'd see the full potential of my powers again.

But hopefully, that time it's used for good.