A Man to be Proud Of

The landscape was identical out here, though he did pass the occasional farm now. It was strange, but there seemed to be some kind of invisible line where the farms ended and there was nothing but empty grasslands. He had no idea what the reason for that might be and the sparrow had been quiet ever since their last conversation, so no help there at the moment.

The farms were widely dispersed and Jason did his best to skirt around them whenever he could, but he still caught a few glimpses of people out and about. He wondered what they might be thinking about seeing someone running through the wilderness out here at a breakneck pace, ignoring paths and civilization to cut through knee high grass.

The farms were on a miniscule scale compared to what he was used to, but they seemed to be growing some crops that he recognized. The wheat was characteristically golden and was likely nearly ready to be cut. That would make sometime in the fall most likely, which matched the temperature. There were also some crops that he didn't recognize at all, including a field of deep purple plants. He couldn't imagine what that might be.

There were also herds of sheep, cows, and horses that he saw as well as some he didn't recognize including something that looked like a long legged alligator from a distance. Jason didn't feel tempted to get much closer to that one.

He continued running as the sun began to sink lower and lower in the sky, but he still hadn't grown tired. He was, however, starting to get hungry and thirsty. That was worrying considering how little water he had seen out here. He hadn't passed so much as a tiny creek.

He tried to sense his mana again, but he just couldn't figure out where it was coming from and how he was using it. Not being able to change his appearance would make his initial plan of working on one of the farms for some money much more difficult.

In the end he gave up once again, figuring he would be better off sleeping out in the grass. He could always sneak up to one of the farms and steal some water from a well, and maybe a few things from the fields. It left a bad taste in his mouth, but it didn't seem like he had any other options.

Jason slowed to a walk as approached a farmhouse that looked particularly isolated. There was only one other farm visible towards the mountains from here, and not a single thing on the other side. This one must be right on the edge of the border of farms.

As he started preparing a small area for himself to sleep, he couldn't help thinking again about what was out there beyond the line of civilization. He looked at the sparrow who had curled herself up on the small nest of grass that Jason had made for her.

The longer she kept silent, the more worried Jason became. Perhaps he was making a mistake by ignoring her, and running out here. He still didn't even know what he was doing so how could he explain it to her?

The sun was beginning to set now, and Jason couldn't help thinking about Mina again. They had once argued about the most beautiful sunsets in the world. She had insisted that watching the dancing oranges and reds reflecting across the ocean was the best, and while Jason couldn't deny that it was beautiful, he had always preferred a sunset on the prairie.

A part of it might have just been simple childhood nostalgia, but as he watched this worlds' sun slowly sink beneath the unending expanse of grass, he felt his worries melt away. The colors shifted from bright yellow, dimming into the warm orange of a crackling campfire and finally darkening to a glowing crimson. The radiating warmth was caught in the clouds forming what looked like wispy dragons which set the grass ablaze in orange light. It was breathtaking, but his Mina wasn't here to see it with him leaving him empty.

He laid down on the small bed of grass that he had made for himself, waiting patiently for the family inside to go to sleep. He felt dirty knowing what he was about to do. It was just a small thing. They would never notice the small bit of water and food that he took from them, but it was still wrong. He had never been in a position like this and it reminded him of what the sparrow had said when he had first appeared in this world.

"You are someone who would sacrifice themself for anyone in need."

He would have liked to think that was true. He might have even believed it was true in different circumstances, but he also believed that he wouldn't resort to petty stealing just to fill his belly. His father had taught him when he was young that if he made small concessions in his morality then it would just enable bigger ones later on. He would have taught the same thing to little Yoona when she was older. It seemed he wasn't as good a man or a father as he would have liked to think.

As he lay there thinking, the sky grew brighter and brighter with unfamiliar constellations. The moon was just a tiny wedge in the sky making the stars easier than ever to make out. Jason had grown up in a place much like this. Plains and grass as far as the eye could see and plenty of areas far from civilization where you could see the stars easily.

He had often driven out into the country to the darkest spots he could find on cloudless nights and layed down in the bed of his truck to look at the stars. He particularly loved looking at the constellations and learning about the stories they told. It would be getting deep into fall back on earth, which meant that andromeda would be coming back out. He had had so much trouble finding it as a kid. Find the Cassiopeia the snake and Pegasus' square and the chained maiden would come into view.

Nothing was familiar in this sky. Though Jason had never been to the southern hemisphere he had at least looked at star maps. This sky, however, was completely and utterly foreign. It was still the same dark sky speckled with thousands of stars, but none of them were in the right place.

It was all too much to handle. During the day, he may not have had any clear objective, but he had still been doing something. Going to the village or running through the grass avoiding and studying farms and the land. He hadn't been completely alone with his thoughts like he was now.

Tears flowed down his cheeks, and he didn't try to hold them back. Everything he cared about was out of his reach now. Even his own body was gone, replaced by this scarred monstrosity that had apparently been used to do all sorts of horrible things. He had lost everything and been sent to a world that didn't want him. There was already a hero apparently and even if these people knew their hero was evil, why would they accept the heinous criminal whose body Jason now held.

Sleep wouldn't come and he had to have waited long enough. He stood up and began walking to the farm, now barely visible in the night. He crouched and tried to move as quietly as he could as he approached the well, but there was probably no need. The family inside would all be happily asleep and they were too far to hear him pulling water anyway.

He drank thirstily from the well, and scanned the area to find something that he could eat. He found a smaller garden near the farmhouse and bent over to pull a carrot out, but stopped himself. Water was something that he absolutely needed, but he could go without food for a little longer. The least he could do was wait until he was a little more desperate before he started stealing food. It was a tiny thing, and considering he was already stealing water, it was probably meaningless, but it still felt right to him. Even if he would never see his daughter again, he could still try to be a man that she would be proud of.