CHAPTER 1: The introduction

Teacher : "Alright class since we are in a new school year and this is my first time teaching this class let's start with introducing ourselves first."

The teacher started asking everyone individually about their names and some personal Interests. Many students for reasons I couldn't understand were lowering their tone which seemed that the teacher didn't like.

Teacher : "What is wrong with you people? Please don't be shy and raise your voice! Ok who is next?"

A student stands up suddenly and screams

MY NAME RIN RAYON , 10 YEARS OLD AND MY FAVORITE SPORT IS FOOTBALL 

A moment of silence as everyone looked shocked

Teacher: "Good job, I love your personality. I hope everyone raises his voice just like you."

Abnormal person, isn't he? That abnormal is me Rin rayon. Every teacher's favorite student because of his obedience and good marks in exams. I raised my voice as much as I can because my teacher asked to and as a kid my parents taught me to be obedient to both my parents and my teachers and I took there advice. Have you ever heard of "and if someone told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"? It is a famous rhetorical question that is usually said by my teachers when the alibi contains "someone asked me to". The obvious answer to this question would be no but for me that was a tough question. The image I created of myself as "Rin Rayon the obedient student" would be damaged if I didn't do what I am ordered to. But on the other hand I am scared of death and jumping off a bridge would be very scary for me. So I would have to choose to follow either me or Rin Rayon and if I had to choose between them I'd likely to tend to follow Rin Rayon

At breaks I always head up to a quiet place where no one is there. Eating my lunch and waiting for the bell to terminate the break to finally return back to class.

After finishing the last lesson I go home on feet.

"I am home"

"How are you Rin? how was your day?"

"It was good mom and I also I are all the sandwiches you made" 

"That's my boy! Did you have fun with your friends at school?"

That is the worst question that reaches my ears. My parents are paying attention to my social life and well…it is not good. my social abilities are my main weakness. What is the something that prevents me from engaging with others? Are people avoiding me because they don't find me normal? My nonexistent relationship with my classmates is the reason why even though I play and train football every day and I am skilled, no one ever tried to choose me for their team or test my abilities. I have never been taught how to communicate with others before and without the guide from my teachers or my parents I don't know what to do and tend to think "what would the normal person do/say now" which always makes me hesitant and anxious while speaking.

"Everything is fine."

Lying is always my passcode to evade all of my problems.

The day passed. I went to school the day after. I am isolated again everyone is having fun around me. The only commutation I get is answering the teachers' questions and replying to their compliments. Day by day the same scenes kept repeating themselves. But one day at break, a classmate came to my isolated place and started talking with me

"Hi your name is Rin, am I right?"

"Yes"

"Can I sit here?"

"Yes, you can"

"Do you always spend your break here?"

"Yes, I do"

Few words with the full meaning. That was the approach I use communicate with others since talking for too long leads to inconsistency and makes me feel anxious of the possibility to do mistakes. 

Because of my brief answers silence reigned in the place. That classmate's name is carl. he always comes the second in exams after me so I thought he might have hatred towards me but it seems like he is doing his best to make a conversation with me. I don't want to waste his efforts so I will try to open a conversation.

"w_what do you usually do in break?" I said while stuttering

"I usually stay in the class and eat there."

That was a short conversation and I doubt if that is called one but that is my limit. I wonder why did he even try to talk with me? carl was always bullied by the students but he didn't tell the teachers because he didn't want to look pathetic. Worried about how he is viewed, admired by teachers and rejected by students. He is pretty similar to me the difference would be that he is less handsome and smart. maybe he found me similar to him and so he had empathy towards me and wants to make friendship with me?

After that we had had a small pointless conversation before the bill rang. I think I could make a friend for the first time.

Days passed, every day I spend the break talking with carl. However, I still couldn't find my place in the class's social classes. My parents think I am fine in my social life on the other hand my teachers are worried about it and I am worried that my teachers might talk about that with my parents and they would figure out that I was a liar all that time which would damage the look they have on "Rin rayon" so I had to do something. I kept on spectating my classmates trying to figure out there common interests and the appropriate way to join a conversation. In the process I figured out many things about the social system there. If I described the system in one word, that word would be "dictatorship" and the absolute leader with the most influence is the popular kid. Whenever he speaks everyone listens. Whenever they play he is the captain. He is also the one who chooses teams and people who will play when they play football. Is that to do with his aura? Anyway I can't see myself at this position his aura is likely a gift that was attached with him the moment he was born.

One day I saw a fabulous scene. A student said a joke and people started laughing. The funny guy is always loved by everyone. He has the ability to utilize some basic words to improve the atmosphere and spread happiness all over the place. I instantly said to myself "I want to be like that person! so what should I do?". I decided to keep on spectating my classmates till I find what type of humor they prefer and so after several days I could identify what type of humor that usually makes them laugh and after more days the perfect moment to implement the joke I had prepared came.

I tried to spell it with confidence to sound like if that's my nature. Fortunately the words I chose to worked to together and made a phrase that was effective and everyone started laughing!

"I didn't know you were a funny guy, Rin!"

"Me too, that's surprising!"

And so on everyone started praising me. After that, I have decided to create a new image of myself that is able to find its place in the school's social life.