Chapter 39: Joel X Barack

Joel welcomed Barack at the motel the next afternoon. Jill was long gone at that point. Joel had no idea how she could be so mobile in the absolute middle of nowhere, a place no one could seek out intentionally- a location which was obscure precisely to insure that unwelcome visitors would not arrive unexpectedly. So it was that when Joel met Barack in the meeting hall, he received the usual question.

"Are we secure?"

Normally Joel would hem and haw on this point, expressing all manner of imaginary skepticisms so as to avoid giving a straight answer to Barack's question. But this time Joel was quite straightforward.

"Absolutely."

"Well!" said Barack, breathing a sigh of relief. "That's fortunate. I know I say this every time, but I think we've really cracked the case this time."

"How so?" asked Joel, taking a seat and pouring himself some mineral water.

"Homer's breakthrough," said Barack. "We finally know what Jerry Shankar is planning, so now we can stop him."

"I thought Jerry Shankar wasn't real," said Joel.

"Yes, well," said Barack, scratching his head. "That has admittedly somewhat limited our options. We can't just publicly change our minds and say that we're retreating from our obligations in fighting fascism to chase the bogeyman. So it's very important that we have our cover story worked out."

"Which is?"

"That we've been getting rumors about some kind of anti-EMP weapon," said Barack. "We don't know who has it or why, but until such information can be ascertained it's too dangerous for us to engage in open warfare."

"That seems plausible," said Joel. "But doesn't Esther have plans designed around such weapons anyway? How could they be a threat to us?"

"Joel," said Barack with a sigh. "You need to stop overthinking things. No one else does. No one else even knows that Esther has plans."

"I'm sorry," said Joel.

"Anyway," said Barack, taking out a simple manilla envelope. "These are the marching orders. Frequency numbers mainly. I'm not going to have Internet access and there's too much danger of such information being intercepted anyway. I locate Jerry Shankar, we capture him."

"Is this really a good idea?" asked Joel. "Can't you just use the drones?"

"We've lost enough of them at this point that I'd rather not risk more," said Barack. "Especially considering we still have more wars left to fight. Personally, I think the idea of a second constitutional convention is a splendid one. We just have to make sure the fascists aren't allowed to participate."

"But we have no idea who the president is going to be next year," said Joel.

"It doesn't matter," said Barack. "The president's just a figurehead position now anyway. Besides, who's earned the loyalty of the people- some bureaucrat these hicks have never heard of, or the Social Justice Army that's been helping to liberate them?"

"I'm sure you're right."

"Unwind a little!" said Barack, annoyance once again slipping through. "Everything's going great! Let's get something to drink. The bar here is very well-stocked."

Joel sat in place, looking distinctly uncomfortable. He was attempting to give off a specific vibe and fortunately, Barack caught on fairly quickly.

"What is it?" asked Barack.

"You don't need to concern yourself with it," said Joel.

"Come on," said Barack impatiently, holding out his hand. "What is it?"

Joel took out the dictaphone and dropped it a little too quickly. Barack looked over it carefully, seeming to appraise the machine thoughtfully, until finally just giving up.

"What is this?"

"A video tape," said Joel. "If you can find a VHS player, you can watch it."

"What's on it?" asked Barack.

"I have been led to believe that it contains information which implicates the Free State of Iowa in aiding and abetting Jerry Shankar," said Joel.

"Well!" said Barack, nodding his head sagely. "This is very important evidence indeed then. Where did you get it?"

"I managed to make a copy during my last trip in Iowa as I was meeting with one of Jerry Shankar's long-time conspirators," said Joel. "You may know the person in question."

"I can guess," said Barack.

"Anyway, it is imperative that you tell no one of its existence until its authenticity can be confirmed," said Joel.

"I understand," said Barack standing up and extending his hand. "And thank you Joel. We've both got a great deal of work to do. I wish you the best."

"As do I," said Joel, smiling, standing up and accepting Barack's handshake in turn. Joel did his best to avoid retching, at least until Barack was gone.