Chapter 38: Jill X Joel

Though Jill was badly battered and bruised by her fight with Esther, she took some slight comfort in the soft landing at the end of the laundry chute. Jill had been knicked up enough on the way down that she was grateful for Esther's helmet. Upon climbing out Jill was ready for a fight but quickly realized to her relief that apparently the building's laundry service was staffed entirely by robots. This did not come as much of a surprise to Jill, as she had infiltrated the building by taking advantage of access points that were intended to be used by maintenance robots. For a paramilitary headquarters the Rainbow Shirts facility was very poorly secured. A single proper dedicated security guard, a mainstay throughout the Free State of Iowa, would have dramatically increased the difficulty of Jill's infiltration.

Getting out of the building was, of course, another matter entirely. The Rainbow Shirts would soon be on lockdown, assuming that they weren't already. This hadn't bothered Jill when she first came up with the plan, since her whole plan was to surrender, but Esther's rather brutal persuasion to the contrary left her little choice but to make a full-on escape. Jill was still crying, not just due to the physical pain of the beating, but the emotional damage of being completely battered and rejected by her own sister.

These thoughts continued to haunt Jill's mind as she made her way to the garage to locate a traditional motor vehicle. Exactly as Esther had promised, only one was available. The door was unlocked. Jill got into the backseat and lied down on the floor, covering herself with a black blanket that had appeared to be there solely for the purpose of obfuscating stowaways. It was barely a few minutes before someone else had climbed into the front seat and turned the car on. Presumably this was the help Esther had promised. Jill wondered how it was that a search hadn't even been called on the garage yet but apparently Esther had managed to contact a rescuer on such short notice.

Jill had barely even had time to process everything that had happened when the car was already outside the building. Several minutes passed without a word. Finally, Jill grew impatient with the vehicle apparently driving straight to the unknown. She stopped hiding.

"Hey uh," Jill said, trying to seem meek and unthreatening. "Where are we going?"

"Oh geez!" Joel screamed out, in mock shock. Jill could tell it was mock shock because Joel's driving style was entirely unchanged. They were at the exact same cruising speed as before and hadn't even moved slightly from the middle of the highway.

"Don't I know you?" said Jill. "Hey, weren't you the guy with the suitcase?"

"I know nothing," he hissed. "I have no idea who you are. You're threatening me into doing this!"

  "OK," said Jill, deciding to play along. Maybe the car was bugged or something. "Remind me again where I'm making you take me so you don't uh, try any funny business."

"All the way to Oregon of course," said Joel. "We need to get you back with your friends so that the revolution can get underway."

Jill breathed a sigh of relief at this. Finally, someone who understood what was really important. That was what had really bothered her before. Esther acted like she barely even cared about what was going on with Oregon. Or about anything else really. It was like...wandering into a serious adult conversation as a child. Jill just didn't feel like she belonged there.

"Do you know my sister?" asked Jill.

"Absolutely not!" cried out Joel. "She would never ask me to do something like this. It would be very wrong and improper."

"All right," said Jill, not wanting to press the point. "But how about you? Who are you? It was um...Joel Rotierre right?"

"I am known by many names," he said.

"Right, sure," said Jill. "That's not what I asked though."

"I was threatened!" he said, suddenly putting on an agitated, pained expression. "Your sister put me up to it. She demanded that I lie to you about what was going on in Chicago so we'd have an excuse to intervene."

"What lie?" asked Jill. "We went in because the city was under the control of fascists, and it was. I don't even really remember what you did to convince me to go in. Something about um...Nazi Dogs?"

"We shouldn't be talking right now," said Joel, nervously eyeing the highway. "We could be attacked at any moment! I'm sure we're being followed!"

Jill obediently stopped talking, deciding to wait for the danger to pass. But minutes passed into hours. The sun had started to go down. Jill was starting to feel hungry, although as usual she'd eaten enough before starting that it would be days before she really needed more food. Water was a more immediate concern. Jill was also surprised that Joel never needed to stop for gas. Apparently this vehicle had great mileage.

"So hey," said Jill, deciding to ignore these practical conversation topics. "How is my sister anyway?"

"What do you mean?" asked Joel.

"Emotionally speaking," said Jill. "Is she all right? Is she happy?"

"I don't know," said Joel. "She's been very busy lately. I haven't had a chance to talk to her."

"It's just," said Jill, fingering her bruises, "I'm really worried about her. I know that I'm not supposed to talk to her about work stuff...but...she seemed different when I spoke to her. Like she didn't even care about social justice or anything. And she attacked me too! I've never seen her like that before and I just...I just don't know what..."

"I'm sorry," Jill said, interrupting herself with her own sniffling. "It's just, there's a lot going on right now, and I feel really selfish talking about it. Or even thinking about it. I'm sure she has a lot on her mind too. More important things to do than trying to hurt my feelings."

What followed from there was most peculiar. As before there was mostly just silence between the two of them. But every so often, Joel started making strange grunting sounds, as if he wanted to say something, but kept stopping himself. Finally, Jill lost patience.

"Look, if you have something to say, just say it," said Jill.

"I really shouldn't say anything," said Joel. "It's not my place to interfere."

"Oh knock it off!" said Jill. "We're the same age or something close to it. Don't act like her. Like you need to protect me for my own good."

"Well," said Joel. "The truth of it is your sister has changed quite a bit since joining the Rainbow Shirts."

"Changed how?"

"The organization is a sham," said Joel, looking back and forth furtively, whispering. "It only exists to further the financial power of the Worthington family."

"That's ridiculous," said Jill. "I've heard about what they've done. I've seen it with my own eyes. They've been helping people with no expectation of award, nor have they been getting any. No one likes them or trusts them."

"Barack is a crafty man," said Joel. "His plan is too convoluted to explain fully, but once the Second Constitutional Convention gets started he will be a God among men."

"All right fine," said Jill, choosing to accept the premise. "What's that got to do with my sister?"

"Don't you see?" said Joel. "She didn't know the truth, way back then. But by the time she figured it out, Barack knew all about you. He holds you over her head to threaten her, force her to cooperate."

"That can't be right," said Jill, tepidly. "My sister's the strongest person I know. She'd never let anyone bully her over anything. Not even me."

"You haven't seen the change I have," said Joel. "Back when she first started at the Rainbow Shirts, Esther was so bright and optimistic. I've watched her over the years. I've seen her turn bitter and cynical, constantly doubting what she wants out of life. Esther wants to tell you the truth, she really does, but she lives in terror of what Barack Worthington will do to you if she tries to fight back."

Jill thought back to all of the encounters she'd had with Esther over the last several years. There weren't many of them, to be sure, but Jill was positive that she could see the same pattern that Joel was outlining. They used to be so close, but now Esther was pushing her away...the more Jill thought about it the more obvious it was that Joel was right. This was the only explanation that made any sense. It was only after much quiet careful thought in this endless car ride that Jill remembered something important the Oracle had told her.

"Hey uh," said Jill. "I was talking to the Oracle about what happened in Chicago-"

"The who?" said Joel. "I don't know who the Oracle is."

"Cassidy Jones," said Jill, not missing a beat. "She said that you lie about everything. Is that true?"

"This sounds like a trick question," said Joel evasively.

"Uh, not really?" said Jill. "Seems pretty straightforward to me."

"Look," said Joel. "I don't make a habit of lying to people. But if I did, so what? I'll tell you the dirty secret of lying. It only works because people want to believe them. I've never tricked anybody into doing anything they didn't want to do."

Though Joel couldn't see her, Jill made a point of nodding sagely. These were real words to live by. She spent the remaining hours of darkness pondering over her options. As they turned into a motel for the night, Jill decided that Oregon no longer mattered. Or at least, Oregon could only matter if she solved this more immediate problem. Jill had to free her sister no matter the cost.

"Thank you for your help," said Jill.

"I'm just doing my job," said Joel.

"Right sure," said Jill, taking out her dictaphone. "Listen, I've got something I need to do. When the time comes, and I'm sure you'll know when that is, I want you to give this to my sister. Once Barack is out of the way. We can deal with Shankar. Together."

"What are you going to do?" asked Joel.

"I'm sorry," said Jill, stepping out of the car. "But the less you know the better. It was nice talking to you Mr. Rotierre."

In truth Jill had felt the need to make a quick getaway at that moment because the tears had started flowing. She felt dry, burned out, and still needing a little bit of time to recover from her wounds. But what had truly broken her heart was realizing that after all this time of letting Esther protect her, now, Jill needed to protect Esther.