Chapter 21: Cassidy X Jerry

As Cassidy walked back to the employees only area of the Botanical Garden, she made a point of carefully breathing in and out. Even if she would not be gone for long, Cassidy would miss this place as she always did. The Botanical Garden was her own personal island of calm in a mad, mad world. She did not allow that universe to be breached without an excellent reason.

This composure allowed Cassidy to accept the inevitable shrill reaction she was expecting upon opening the door to her own very modest sleeping room. This was no oracular feat, of course. Jerry had every reason to be in a panic.

"Is she gone yet?" he said, peeking from under the bed.

"Yes," said Cassidy sighing. "And you should know full well that if she had any inclination you were here, hiding under the bed wouldn't save you. Get out from there you silly man."

Jerry nervously crawled out, dusting off his clothes. He hadn't been here very long. It took a full day of biking to get back to Des Moines from the very remote area he had been in.

"I really don't get it," said Jerry. "How did you know she was going to be here? And that she wouldn't looking for me?"

"It was her coolness," said Cassidy. "As you described it she was completely unfazed by the death of her own soldiers. This is the disposition of a woman in inner turmoil."

"Or just a psychopath," said Jerry.

"The thought did cross my mind," admitted Cassidy. "But even psychopaths need reaction to feed upon their own inner narratives. We're so much more social these days, Jerry. Even a man like you, who tries to isolate himself on purpose. It's a matter of survival. Most of us can't deal with the prospect of being forced to spend an extended period of time alone, with nothing better to contemplate than our own sense of mortality. A woman as jaded as Esther Okerye needed a vacation, and once she realized that, it didn't take her long to figure out that I was the only tourist attraction of note nearby."

"But why," said Jerry, "did you tell her you knew me? I was listening, you know."

"I really wish you wouldn't use those bugs," said Cassidy, shaking her head. "I keep telling you they're more likely to do harm than good."

"Even so," said Jerry, angry yet quivering. "If you're going to head straight to the enemy's den, without so much as a provoking question, I'd like to know why."

"For one thing I needed to make sure she didn't find you," said Cassidy. "And for another I'd like to meet them. I've almost identified all the pieces. Just one last God, maybe two, to explain the remaining mysteries."

When Cassidy started speaking just then,, Jerry had closed his eyes. By the time she was done he was faintly smiling. So it was that when Cassidy finally stopped, Jerry was able to speak again with a peaceful mind.

"Does anyone ever tell you about how beautiful your voice sounds?"

"You do," said Cassidy. "Approximately once every other week."

Though Cassidy delivered this message in a rather flat, unimpressed tone, both of them understood the wider significance of the statement. Cassidy was a mirror. She reflected onto people what they wanted to see. They twisted her simple truths around until they got the answer they wanted. Jerry saw in Cassidy a means to reduce his anxiety, and she achieved that end for him, better allowing him to reassess his goals. But too many ambitious fools over the years refused to engage in that sort of reflection, only realizing too late that Cassidy could only promise them one of many possible futures.

"I really want her you know," said Jerry sighing. "It's just such a shame. What could she be doing with the Social Justice Army? What does she see in them? Was the old world really so racist they were the only ones who would give her a commission?"

"No, that's not it," said Cassidy. "It goes deeper than that. There may yet be a means to draw her to our side."

"Really?" said Jerry, perking up. "How?"

"I can't make any promises," said Cassidy. "But the less you know the better, believe me."

Jerry looked around the room. He knew the moment was about to end, and was just trying to enjoy it as long as he could. He opened up his arms.

"Stay safe," he said, embracing her. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too," Cassidy replied.