It was one of those days at the shrine. The kind where there was nothing to do except lie around, maybe throw rocks at a tree, and contemplate the meaning of existence. In other words, I was bored out of my mind. Hiyori was off feeding the shrine's foxes, Koyasu was sprawled out drunk under a cherry blossom tree, and Fukuhara was meditating—or pretending to, anyway. Soseki was lurking around somewhere, probably blending in with the shadows as usual.
I glanced up at the sky, my head buzzing with a sudden idea. "Hey, guys!" I shouted, sitting up. "Ever wonder what things would be like if we were human?"
Hiyori, halfway through tossing a piece of fish to one of the foxes, turned to me with an eyebrow raised. "Human? Why would I ever want to be one of those?"
I smirked. "For the fun of it. Think about it—what would we look like? Where would we be born? What would our lives be like if we weren't, you know, gods and spirits and whatnot?"
Koyasu snorted from his spot under the tree, his bottle of sake dangling from his fingers. "You mean if we were boring?"
"Yeah, exactly," I said, grinning. "The most boring versions of ourselves."
Fukuhara cracked an eye open from his meditation, looking intrigued. "Human, huh? Alright, I'm in. Sounds like it could be... enlightening."
"Or hilarious," I added. "Alright, everyone gather 'round. Let's see what kind of poor suckers we'd be if we were mere mortals."
I snapped my fingers, and suddenly, a swirling portal opened in front of us—a window into an alternate reality. It was like looking into a funhouse mirror that showed us what we might have been if we hadn't been born gods, spirits, or immortals. One by one, we peered through, each of us seeing our hypothetical human lives unfold.
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Y/N:
First up was me, of course. I focused on the portal, and the image began to change. If I were human, I would have been born in 1994 in New York City. My parents would have been a struggling musician and a quirky art teacher, and my DNA would be a chaotic mix of Irish, Italian, and a dash of Japanese—just to keep things interesting. I'd have messy black hair instead of white, still all over the place, but no mismatched eyes. Just plain ol' brown ones.
"1994?" Hiyori asked, leaning in. "So you'd be, what, thirty?"
"Yep," I replied, nodding. "And apparently, I'd have a bunch of tattoos and a weird obsession with conspiracy theories."
"Sounds about right," Koyasu muttered. "What would you do for a living?"
"Freelance writer and paranormal investigator," I said, chuckling. "Apparently, I can't resist weird shit no matter what reality I'm in."
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Hiyori:
Next up was Hiyori. She stepped forward, peering into the portal, and the image shifted again. If she were human, she'd be born in 1997 in Kyoto, Japan. Her parents would be shrine keepers, carrying on a family tradition that stretched back centuries. Her DNA would be 100% Japanese, and she'd have straight black hair instead of her usual yellow-orange blonde, but her eyes would stay that familiar brown, minus the fox ears and tails.
"I guess some things don't change," she muttered. "I'd still end up working at a shrine, but this time as a human."
"And apparently," I pointed out, squinting at the image, "you'd be one of those painfully shy girls who gets flustered every time someone flirts with her."
She scowled. "I'd rather die."
"Too late," I said, laughing. "You're already dead—spiritually, anyway."
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Koyasu:
Koyasu floated over, his curiosity piqued. "Alright, let's see what sad excuse for a life I'd have."
The portal shifted again, and I burst out laughing. If Koyasu were human, he'd be born in 1988 in Scotland. His DNA would be 50% Scottish, 25% Irish, and 25% Viking, giving him a thick, ginger beard and a stocky build. Instead of glowing blue, his skin would be pasty white, and he'd have a mess of curly red hair.
"And you'd still be a drunk," I said, grinning. "Only now you'd be a bartender who spends all his tips on whisky."
Koyasu shrugged. "At least I'd be good at my job."
"Too good, apparently," Hiyori added. "Look at that. Your liver's practically screaming for help."
"Eh, I'd still die happy," he replied, taking a swig from his current bottle. "Though I guess being a human wouldn't be much of a change."
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Fukuhara:
Fukuhara stepped up, his eyes narrowing as he focused on the portal. "Alright, let's see what fate would have in store for me."
The portal swirled again, revealing Fukuhara's human life. He'd be born in 1975 in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates. His DNA would be 80% Arab, 10% Persian, and 10% Greek. His skin would be olive-toned, and he'd have a thick, well-groomed beard and dark, intense eyes. He'd grow up in a wealthy family and eventually become a businessman—a real estate mogul, to be exact.
But the funniest part was when the portal showed Fukuhara's style: dressed like a proper Sheikh, complete with a flowing white robe, a keffiyeh on his head, and expensive-looking sunglasses.
Fukuhara, always the dramatic one, immediately started playing into the image. He struck a pose, putting on a ridiculous accent. "Welcome to my humble palace! I am Sheikh Farooq, and I control all the oil in this region!"
I clutched my sides, trying not to die laughing. "Holy shit, you look like an extra from a Egyptian movie."
Hiyori covered her mouth, snickering. "Is this really how you'd act if you were human?"
Fukuhara puffed out his chest. "Why not? If I'm gonna be a human, I'm gonna be the richest, most powerful one there is."
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Soseki:
Finally, it was Soseki's turn. The portal shifted one last time, revealing his human life. He'd be born in 1960 in rural Zimbabwe, the son of a humble farmer. His DNA would be 64% African, 35% British, and 1% Arab but unlike Hiyori's serene, shrine-bound life, his would be rough and rugged. He'd have dark, weathered skin from working in the fields and a permanently stoic expression, like he was constantly judging everyone around him.
"Looks like I'd be some kind of hermit," Soseki said, frowning at the image. "Living alone in the mountains, raising crops, and scaring off travelers."
"Basically the same as you are now," I pointed out.
"Yeah, except human me would also have a reputation as some kind of forest ghost," he said, his expression deadpan. "Guess some things really don't change."
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I took a step back from the portal, a satisfied grin spreading across my face. "Well, there you have it, folks—our boring-ass lives if we were human."
"Speak for yourself," Fukuhara said, still wearing his imaginary Sheikh persona. "I think I'd make a fantastic human."
Koyasu snorted. "Yeah, until you get assassinated by a rival oil baron or some shit."
Hiyori shook her head, a small smile on her lips. "It's weird to think about. All the things we'd miss out on if we were just… normal."
I nodded. "Yeah, but it makes you appreciate what we've got now, doesn't it?"
Soseki, still staring at his hypothetical life, nodded slowly. "Maybe. But I think I prefer things just the way they are."
"Same here," I said, snapping my fingers to close the portal. "Alright, enough of this 'what if' crap. Who wants to go mess with some humans and see how close we can get to actually living these lives?"
Everyone groaned, but I could see a few grins in the group. After all, whether we were gods, spirits, or just a bunch of chaotic troublemakers, there was never a dull moment in this world—or any other.
After seeing what our lives would be like as humans, I was feeling pretty amused. I mean, who would've thought Fukuhara would make a decent Sheikh? But my mind quickly drifted back to the present. It was 10:30 AM, and I started wondering about Sora. Kid was probably stuck in some boring class right now, maybe having lunch soon.
A grin spread across my face. "I think it's time to check up on our little skeptic," I muttered to myself.
Hiyori glanced at me. "You're not planning to do anything weird, are you?"
"Define weird," I said, shrugging. "I'm just gonna pop in and see how he's doing. You know, like a concerned parent."
Hiyori rolled her eyes. "You're not his parent, Y/N."
"Yet," I said with a wink, already starting to shapeshift. My form shrank, fur sprouting all over me as my limbs compacted and my nose extended into a snout. In a second, I'd transformed into a sleek black cat, my red and blue eyes now a deep, sharp yellow.
"I swear, you take that cat form too much," she muttered. But I didn't hear much more because I was already darting out of the shrine, leaping onto the nearest rooftop.
Running as a cat has its perks. You're fast, agile, and people don't really give a damn about a cat zipping across their rooftops. I bounded from one roof to the next, feeling the wind rush through my fur. A few people down below glanced up, but most were too busy with their own mundane lives to notice me.
Soon, I spotted Sora's school up ahead. It was a typical middle school building, with a large courtyard and a tall, intimidating fence surrounding it. Kids were starting to gather in groups, which meant lunch break was about to start. Perfect timing.
I hopped down from the rooftop and slinked through the school's front gate, blending in with the bushes. From there, I slipped into the building through an open window, trotting through the hallways, my ears perked for any sign of Sora.
Eventually, I reached his classroom. I peeked in through the door and saw him there, hunched over his desk, scribbling something in his notebook. Probably more of his 'How to Dissect a God' questions.
I was about to make my move when a woman's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Oh, a cat!" she exclaimed softly. I turned and saw the teacher—a tall, attractive woman with a strict yet oddly casual air. Her long black hair, and that green scarf around her neck gave her a no-nonsense look.
Before I could bolt, she scooped me up with surprising swiftness and held me in her arms. "Well, aren't you a handsome kitty," she cooed, scratching me behind the ears. I wanted to jump out of her grip and get to Sora, but damn, she had good hands. She found just the right spot under my neck where it had been itching for hours.
"Mmm, right there... just a little more to the left," I thought, purring involuntarily.
The whole class turned to look, and a few of the kids giggled. Sora, however, just facepalmed, probably knowing it was me. The teacher smiled as she carried me back to her desk and sat down, letting me rest on her lap.
I considered jumping off, but she started scratching me under the chin again, and I decided I could stay a while. Her hands were warm, her lap was comfortable, and besides, it was kind of nice being pampered for a change.
The kids were all whispering among themselves, and I could hear snippets like, "Is that the teacher's cat?" or "Where did it come from?" The teacher seemed to be enjoying it as well, letting the kids relax a bit.
"So," she said, her voice soft yet authoritative, "let's get back to our lesson on the Meiji Restoration. And don't mind the cat. He's just our guest for today."
I settled in, closing my eyes and letting the gentle petting continue. "Alright, fine," I thought, "I can wait." I'd have my chance to mess with Sora later. Besides, this was better than running around rooftops like an idiot.
The school day felt like it dragged on forever, and I almost nodded off a few times. The teacher's hand kept moving to just the right spots, and I had to fight to stay awake. She was doing a damn good job keeping me there.
Finally, the bell rang, and the students began to pack up their things. The teacher lifted me off her lap gently and set me down on the floor. "Alright, kitty, time to go," she said with a soft smile.
"Thanks for the scratches, lady," I thought as I padded over to Sora. The kid looked down at me, shaking his head.
"I knew it was you," he muttered under his breath as he picked up his bag. "Only you would come to my school in disguise."
I hopped up on his desk and transformed back into my usual self in a flash. The sudden shift caused a few of the remaining kids to gasp, and the teacher nearly dropped her books.
"Thanks for the hospitality," I said, giving the teacher a charming smile before turning back to Sora. "Alright, kid, let's get you home."
The teacher blinked, still processing what she just saw. "Uh... you're welcome?" she managed, clearly thrown off her game.
Sora sighed, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Let's just go before you cause more trouble."
We walked out of the classroom, heading down the hallway and out of the school grounds. Once we were outside, Sora glanced up at me. "Why'd you come here, anyway? Don't you have better things to do than crash my school?"
I shrugged. "Not really. And besides, I figured it'd be fun to see what you were up to. You're always full of surprises."
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, you didn't have to sit in my teacher's lap the whole time."
"Hey, she was scratching all the right spots," I said defensively. "And I'm not just gonna pass that up."
Sora just sighed again. "You're hopeless."
We walked in silence for a bit, the streets of Kyoto bustling with midday activity around us. I could tell he had something on his mind. After a few minutes, he finally spoke up. "I have more questions for you, you know."
I smirked. "Of course you do. Hit me."
He pulled out his notebook, flipping to a new page. "Okay, so, first question: If you can be anything, why do you choose the forms you do? Why a cat, for example?"
I thought about it for a second. "Well, cats are agile, sneaky, and people tend to like them. Plus, I get to mess with people and look cute doing it. Win-win."
He nodded, scribbling down my answer. "But why do you stick with your usual form most of the time? Why not change things up more often?"
"Because I like it," I said simply. "It's comfortable. It feels like me. And besides, when you're as powerful as I am, sometimes it's nice to have a consistent face. Makes people less paranoid."
Sora looked up at me, considering my words. "Fair enough. Next question: How do you deal with the fact that your powers are limitless? Doesn't that get boring?"
I grinned. "Only if you let it. The trick is not to do everything all at once. It's like a good drink—sip it, savor it. If I did everything my powers could do all the time, I'd have nothing left to look forward to."
He seemed to mull that over, jotting down notes. "Makes sense. So, what about emotions? Do you feel things the same way humans do?"
"More or less," I replied. "I get happy, sad, angry, excited—same as anyone else. I've just had a hell of a lot longer to figure out how to deal with them. But I'm still prone to dumb shit, just like you."
He almost smiled at that. "I can tell. Last question for now: Do you ever wish you could turn it all off? Just stop being a God and live a normal life?"
I stopped walking for a moment, thinking about it. "I've thought about it," I said slowly. "But in the end, I like who I am. I like the chaos, the unpredictability. And if I ever did turn it all off... well, who'd look after you, huh?"
He actually laughed at that, a short, genuine laugh. "Yeah, you're probably right. Someone's gotta keep me from getting too serious."
I clapped him on the back as we continued walking. "That's the spirit, kid. Now, let's get you home before your mom thinks I've kidnapped you or something."
"Again," he muttered, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. As we walked, I couldn't help but feel like maybe, just maybe, I was rubbing off on him a bit. And that was definitely a good thing.