Death...

I'm currently laying in a pile of trash bags. My hair soaked in a slimy substance that I detest. Strangers look down at me as if I'm some kind of fool. I hold the side of my head in my palm as I try to stand up only to stumble once again.

'Ugh, my head.'

"Hey you. You're finally awake!"

I cringed as I hear that famous line once more…Memories start to flood my mind.

Realization struck, I muttered under my breath... "Hm… I died." I look around to find a shard of a broken mirror, this isn't my face, I look around 18 years old. I suppose I look younger than I should considering who I am.

"Did you hit your head? You should probably get to the hospital, you look like you'd own a palace with that kind of suit, you shouldn't be down in these slums or people will rob you for all your worth." He looked at me as if I was crazy but I chose to ignore the random mob to start my flash back.

"You… Will be mine forever! We will be together forever AHAHAHA" The woman screams out whilst stabbing my chest over and over again with a blunt kitchen knife. Why do I have a blunt kitchen knife to begin with? I'm the type of person who doesn't know how to sharpen one of course... I wish I had, maybe I wouldn't have had such a painful death.

'Yandere… Why a yandere of all stereotypes...' I think to myself as I feel something clutching in my chest. I look down once more to see her hand in my chest. The pain of a hand ripping through my chest barely allows me to think let alone breathe. My breath is halted as my gaze lingered on her arm.

"Ahh~ I can finally hear your heart beat for me… Don't worry I'll be joining you soon We will live in hell together AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" My vision is blurring, everything is going black… Why just why… Did I stick my dick in crazy...

…

…?

"Heyooo! Wakey Wakey!" I open my eyes once more to find out I'm no longer in my home with… her. But in front of a child slapping my face. I look at the child only to notice that they are actually an adult… In other ways of course.

"A child?" I whisper under my breath.

"I'm not a child!! I'm older than your entire earth! Why does everyone call me a child…" She screams out in frustration, why am I even here… Just to suffer?

I look at her seriously, garnering her attention. "Because you look like a child. If it wasn't for your… Wait are you a lo-"

"DON'T EVEN START WITH THAT! DAMN OTAKUS ALWAYS CALL ME THAT" She shouts out with pure hatred lacing her tone.

"Ok. But I'm not an Otaku."

"Now how did you di- … Pfft'' She spits out a laugh as she turns her head so as to not meet my gaze. I look at her curiously before realizing what situation I'm in. I still don't care. But I feel like a certain spear hero, I hope my love life won't be as bad as his, in heaven. Or well… hell.

"At Least I'm not a yandere goddess. Or am I~" Her gaze turns terrifying as I remember that yandere bitch...

"Goddess?" I said with a confused expression 'Is this person really a goddess? I feel bad for people who worship this person. Maybe not so much to unfaithful catholic priests who prey on…' as I was about to continue my train of thought, it was suddenly interrupted by the loli goddess.

"Oh right! You died!" She says nonchalantly trying to gauge my reaction. I put on a slight smile and say...

"Neat." I had already come to terms with my death. It was my fault for going onto online dating apps.

"Well aren't you boring. I was expecting reactions like NOOOOOO! Or like one of my favorites, a guy came in here thinking he was hit by the mystical truck-kun but he died of shock after a tractor nearly hit him and pissed himself everywhere! It was hilarious, he was so angry he took one of my coworkers with him."

"At least I didn't die like that…"

"Nope but let's stop talking about this there's a whole line of souls waiting for you to pass. So like with every soul would you rather to ascend to heaven which is really freaking boring btw, or would you like to get reincarnated in another world!"

"I mean I don't really care either way." I say with a yawn, this is all getting abit boring.

"OK REINCARNATION IT IS! Mainly because I get a bonus every time I reincarnate a soul, heaven is as overcrowded as hell!"

"So to explain how reincarnation works is that there are 3 steps. Blessing, Powers and Setting. Blessings are powers created by gods that fuel abilities, for example if you get a blessing of darkness, that power would have those elements such as the shadow monarch then those powers pick the world you enter, meaning that you would be crazy overpowered such as having an infinity stone you wouldn't be put in a normal world."

"So lets spin the wheel!"

"First your blessing is… Divinity... "

"..."

"... WHAT CRAP IS THIS?! Who the hell wrote this on the wheel! LOKI!? ARES?! VALKYRIE?!… No we all know who it was GOD DAMN IT AQUUUUUUA!!! Shitty goddess! Who makes divinity a blessing!? Ugh, I guess I should explain this to you as well, blessings may not exactly mean the ability of that god. For example Aqua is the god of water in the world she controls, making something as insane as a blessing of divinity would take most of her powers away. Well at least that's a good thing, maybe she was trying to find a loophole to give herself infinite divinity, that kinda sounds like her."

"So I would become a god?" I ask curiously, I mean if I just become a god I can live an easy life.

"In a sense, it also means that aqua lost most of her divine power from this, She might get demoted to cleaning the toilets in heaven. You don't wanna know what shit goes on there."

"I see."

"Still no reaction from you huh? Even after making you a god you just can't care."

"Will I also be able to create blessings?"

"... No…" Her lips puff up as she stares into another direction.

"Ah, I see… You are one of those people who can't lie for their own good?"

"UGH! Fine… Because your blessing is Divinity, your power would be related to a god of some form, this could be anything from the gods in DXD Universe, to us or even the one above all and yes you may be able to bless others in the future in some form.""

"So I'm getting some anime powers… neat."

"What's with your shitty personality!? Are you a Kuudere or some shit!?" She shouts unintentionally, hearing the phrase that my Ex often mentioned really vex me for some reason.

"Please stop swearing…" I say as I get ticked off a little bit.

"MAKE ME! OK NEXT" She quickly changes the conversation after noticing my darkening glare.

"Rex Lapis… Who the hell is rex lapis…" She mutters as she looks to the sky for answers only for another voice to answer.

"Rex Lapis is the Geo Archon, Morax. As it specified him and not his powers you would merge with his body and past memories."

"Well at least that's something, maybe your shitty personality would change as well. Actually considering your personality is like a blank slate maybe you will just become him completely."

"Does that mean I won't be myself anymore?" If I got some heroic god's personality who strives to help others, it would really suck.

"Hmm, it's more like therapy, you have a shitty personality now and when you merge it will be a little better."

"That was a bad analogy." I say as I look at her weirdly, ignoring the fact she dissed my personality. It was uncalled for but still.

"SHUT IT I'M TRYING MY BEST!" She says whilst crying into her hands.

'I'm going to get hate for making the loli cry'

{A/N: Yup. Who do you think this goddess is also? Kinda obvious TBH}

"*Sniff* And last but not least, you will get put in an op world at least probably Marvel or DC. I'm guessing."

"Boku no -" She begins to laugh uncontrollably taking her eyes off the board.

"YOUR GETTING PUT IN BOKU NO PIKO AHHH THIS IS GREAT!" She is now bawling her eyes out with pure laughter.

"... What's Boku no Pico?" I ask innocently...

"Are you serious?! It's possibly the worst anime you could ever watch, never ever watch it!"

"Why?"

"Well to begin… Wait why was I about to tell you? Its so disgusting that even the other gods want to burn it to the ground."

"I'll watch it when I have free time." I say without care, apparently this triggered the lo- child-like goddess into screaming at me.

"NO! BAD KUUDERE!"

"... Am I a dog to you?"

"Just don't watch it, it will probably ruin your life."

"Ok." 'Mental note, watch it.'

"Wait I made a mistake, you are being put in Boku no Hero Academia. Damn you were saved barely. I guess with a world of superpowers, you can mask your abilities as a quirk" She says with obvious disappointment in her tone.

"Well good luck, try not to burn down the world."

"... Ok." I say as my vision begins to become dark once more.

"Damn Kuuderes, this isn't any fun if I can't get a reaction out of them. Oh the next soul is… Pfft… Seriously? Maybe I can get some amusement out of that kuudere bastard after all… Hehehe HAHAHA" She begins to laugh maniacally to herself.

Meanwhile the gods in the heavenly realm all sigh as they hear the cackling laughter from a certain loli big boobed goddess, they were all wondering when she'd descend to Orario like the others.