53. Wonderland Chapter 8

Mike's POV

I have been running along with these mirrors, but all I could see was my past memories with her everywhere I looked. The days when I reached out to her and talked to her.

Is this punishment? I guess it is. Up until her death, I didn't know how my actions and words had hurt her. Until her parents passed me her diary, saying that I should read it. It took me months before I dared to look through.

One page after another, I just kept reading. I didn't know she still liked me till the end. I was horrified when I realized that I had basically confessed to the girl I thought didn't like me anymore about another girl I had a crush on. What a twist of fate!

Till the end, she couldn't hate me. Within her book, she wrote about all her pain and regrets. She drove herself insane from trying to live and live with herself. She pushed herself to death. The diary dropped from my hands as I cupped my face and sobbed.

What have I done? What did I just say to her? I didn't expect any of this, not even her death. If someone could give me a chance, I want to apologize to her. I want her to live, not be dead. But who could revive the dead and let me apologize to her a million times over?

I didn't know how I died, how I came to the Library. My memories were incomplete. Even the mirrors, they were shown to be blurry. But I know someone heard me because I met her again.

Omen.

But she doesn't remember. None of the Guardians remember anything from their past lives because of the Guardian contract. It was for the best anyway. These memories, they were torture to me. Just like how she once had hers tormented her to death. If these are my punishment to bear the memories, I will gladly take them. So, please, let her live happily.

I knew I would make her unhappy again if I got close to her. Thus, I always avoided her, but Kagura… was always intuitive. She felt something between us, so she created chances. But she didn't know. She didn't know that doing so would reopen old wounds. So, I couldn't blame her. I could only put Omen at arms' length.

Yet, fate always has its way. In fact, it even felt like Kagura was trying to help me even after her death. I have never expected to be partners with Omen. I also did not expect Xerxes to say that the both of us should recover our memories. I didn't want Omen to remember us, but we needed help against fighting Dark Shadow. I had no choice but to let things unfold.

I had no choice at all. It was to be expected anyway.

I was the villain in her life. I shouldn't have a good end anyway. I crumbled down to the floor with the mirrors of my memories surrounding me. Omen appeared before me, expressionless and looking down on me.

"I'm so sorry."

Finally.

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't… want you to die. I wanted you to live, but you were dead, turned to ashes, sitting at the columbarium. I'm so sorry for the hurt I have done to you."

Finally, I have said them. Omen stared at me before she spoke.

"Was I.. cute?"

It was a reference to that time. I chuckled sadly.

"More than that. I think you were pretty. You weren't just cute, you were pretty. That's what I wanted to say. But somehow, the words never turned out right. I'm sorry."

Omen chuckled while glancing down at her feet. "All those apologies that I never get to hear. Now, I am hearing them. I don't know how to feel about that. Right, past me?"

A girl walked out from behind Omen. At that moment, my memories of her past self overlapped with this girl. This was Omen's past. She was not a picture out of the many on the wall of a columbarium. She was living.

"I'm sorry. You can cut me up, kill me and send me off to hell. I'm all yours. This should have been the way it should be years ago."

She sighed lightly.

"I… didn't dare to chase after you after I rejected dating. But I wanted to date you so badly. I wanted to know what holding hands felt like, what kissing was like, and what a hug from a boyfriend felt like. I wanted to experience that with you, but I wanted to do it after graduating. I was hoping you would wait, but I didn't tell you my thoughts.

It's not wholly your fault. A large part of the fault was on me. I drove myself mad and off to death. I couldn't reconcile that it was too late for me and that love doesn't last long if it is not nurtured.

So, I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for not… talking to you. I forgive you and your hurtful words, so… can you forgive me for being the coward I am?"

"Yes, yes, I forgive you. Thank you… for giving me this chance."

The past her smiled. It illuminated her whole being, and she turned to Omen.

"Thank you for helping me. For saying the words that I needed to hear the most. I hope… your wish gets fulfilled."

"It will. It has… always been our dream." Omen replied as she hugged her. "Goodbye. Goodbye to my past and my old self."

The past self of Omen turned into numerous orbs of light before being absorbed by her.

"Hehe… talk about self-love. Mike, are you going to stay on the floor like this?"

She extended her hand out to me. As though we are friends. How could we still be friends after all that she remembered?

[Because we are and we always will.] Omen replied to me through the mind link. [People make mistakes, but it's important to admit them and learn from them. You may be an inconsiderate jerk, but… you were in your own way, trying to protect me from being unhappy. I forgive you so quickly get up already! My hand is getting tired here.]

My eyes widened before I laughed cheerfully. I laughed my years' worth of laughter because I could finally see that I was too hard on myself. If I had tried to talk just like how Kagura intended me to, things would not have ended up like this. Some things were salvageable. But it was better late than never. I grabbed her hand and pulled myself up. It was time to get out of the maze.

Immediately, the mirrors around us dissolved. And we came face to face with people we finally got to meet.