- Kiss me

**Lorenzos point of view**

As Adrena dozed off to sleep, I finally had time to think this whole mess through. Where the hell to even begin?

I knew that telling her about the mafia, was a bad idea. My father once told me something, when I was around sixteen years old. It haunted me the whole evening through;

''Son - the only thing more lethal than a gun, is a woman.''

I knew he was right. I knew that I was playing with my heart instead of my senses. But I was born into the mafia, with no way of escaping the vicious claws that holds me tight. And despite the evil and the lives I had to take, the mafia sits so deep inside me. It's running in my blood. And I enjoy the power and the respect I get.

No one dares to fuck with me, besides the russies. And the peace that was declared after our bloody sacrifices are now broken. Because of Adrena, and my foolhardy fucking urge to protect her.

A stream of hatred ran through my body. I hated that I put myself in this situation. But I can't get rid of her, not now. Not only is she sleeping peacefully right behind me, with her heavy breathing as a sweet lullaby for my ears, she's also goodhearted. I have a genuine gut that tells me, that she's a 100% pure. Which I needed in my god forsaken life.

I know she hates me, and I don't blame her for it. She's been through so much, and every wound on her body is there, because of my mistakes. Even the thought of what Dimitri put her through, makes me see red.

Just thinking about it, made me want to start the car, drive to his house, and paint his house red with his blood. If he touched her, even if his fingers just stroked her skin, then god help me, I will kill him.

I did shoot him in both his knees, which satisfied my imagination of him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. But it wasn't enough. Someday, when he least expects it, I'll kill him, with no mercy.

As I sat, with my head leaning against the front window and imagined ways I'd torture and kill Dimitri, I was suddenly brought back to reality.

My phone.

I turned it off, after I shot his jackoff friends. I had to get rid of it, so I wouldn't be tracked. So despite the enormous pain I felt in my wounded arm, and my lack of sleep, I got out of the car. I locked it, to make sure no one could go in – or out. Adrena was still sleeping peacefully, so if I just did it quickly, then she wouldn't even know I was gone.

I ran towards the small lake, that I knew wasn't far away. As far as I could see, we were the only ones in the woods. It was pitch black out, with no city lights to reveal the shadows that could be lurking in the dark. The only source of light that I had, came from the full moon. I looked up and took a brief moment to admire the constellation.

The trees covered most of the view, but above the tree tops, a million stars appeared. I've lived in the city my whole life, and it's been years since I last saw this view. Last time, was in my home country, Italy. Damn, nothing beats the stars in Palermo.

A sudden flow of melancholy hit me. I forced myself to get my shit together, removed my gaze from the starry sky, and ran on. I

As I got to the lake, I immediately, without hesitation, threw the phone in. The second it hit the water, the reflection of the starry sky made small rings in the lake. I felt so alone. And I was, for the first time in twenty-four years. No one could contact me, unless I wanted them to, and I suddenly felt like my whole identity was about to change. Why?

I'll tell you why. Because I, for the first time in my life, can do whatever the fuck I want. And it scared me shitless, to be honest. Cause who am I, if I'm not the dons son? Who will I become, if not the leader of Fratellis? Just thinking about the risks I've taken the last day, made me laugh. It was so insanely stupid, so insanely irrational.

I took one last glance at the lake, and walked back to the car. I could hear crickets, and small night creatures hiding in the bushes. Inside the car, Adrena was still sleeping. I knew I had to catch some sleep too, if I in any way, should be able to sort out this fuckery tomorrow. As I seated myself in the front, I leaned my head against the window. In a matter of minutes, I fell asleep.

-------

The morning sun greeted my restless soul, and forced me to squint my tired eyes. The pain in my arm reminded me of yesterday's terrors. It also reminded me, that I had to take out the bullet, that kept my wound from healing. I scouted at Adrena, who was still sleeping. I was doubting on whether I should wait till she wakes up, or if I should just start driving.

Without knowing what the day would include, I knew it was a long one. We had to find somewhere where we could stay, and I knew, that I had to contact my father eventually, even if I didn't want to.

''Lorenzo?''

I turned around, and saw that she had woken up. Her eyes were puffy, and her hair a little messy, but she looked beautiful. She struggled, but managed to pull herself up, so she was sitting with her back resting up against the car door. She grimaced as her back touched it.

''Are you okay?'' I asked. She looked like she was in a lot of pain.

''Of course I'm not okay.'' She looked upset – angry even.

''Not a morning person I imagine?''

'' I've slept in the back of a car. My back hurts like hell and 24 hours ago, I was held hostage in a fucking basement.''

The environment inside the car changed drastically, within minutes. Suddenly I wished she was still asleep. Instead of arguing – seemed like a battle I knew I would never win – I got out of the car. I walked to the back, and opened the back door, opposite of where she was sitting. Leaned in, with my head inside the car and pleaded; ''Let's go for a walk.''

She looked confused, and with a frowned look on her face, she said: ''I'm not going outside. What if they're looking for us?''

Her concern was perfectly understandable. ''No one's looking for us here. We're in a forest, and the main road is miles away. Don't worry Adrena, it's safe. Come out-'' I offered my hand, and instead of rejecting it, she reached out and grabbed it.

I helped her get out, and observed how she, with a satisfied look on her face, stretched her legs. The Sunday sun was good to us, and a warm breeze flew past us, as we started walking. She limped a little, as she walked.

''There's a lake nearby. I'm planning on going in, so my arm can get a little cleanse. I think you should do the same,'' I suggested. She gave me a suspicious look, but didn't say anything. The brown pigment in her right eye was highlighted by the sun. Her hair was in a low ponytail, and she was still wearing my hoodie. The back was stained with dried blood, so I knew she had to wash it.

As we got to the lake, I encouraged her to jump in, by taking off my own clothes. I was wearing nothing but my boxers, and I caught her staring.

I gave her a last glance, before I jumped in. The water was crystal clear and refreshing.

''You coming?'' I yelled, as I swam towards the shore, where Adrena stood with her arms crossed.

She ignored me, but began taking off my sweats that she was wearing. It revealed her perfect legs, and I had to restrain myself from looking. She continued, taking off the hoodie, and she did it so smooth, that I felt like it was in slow motion.

She stood for a second, in an insecure position, wearing only underwear. She wore a white lacey bra, and black hipsters. Usually, I like when women match their underwear, especially if they do it for me, but no one's ever looked as good as Adrena, and she's not even trying.

She walked towards the water, and took out the ponytail and flipped her hair. The sun illuminated her blonde hair, and gave it golden vibes.

She jumped in, and as her body went underwater, little drops of water jumped up in the air. The waterdrops looked like diamonds, and from below the water, I could see her swimming towards me. Adrena made me feel insecure in a way I've never experienced before.

Suddenly I began thinking about the way my hair looked, when it was wet, and how my body looked underwater. What a fucking joke, why did she make me feel this way?

''Why are you looking at me like that?'' she asked. She was only a few inches away from me.

''Just thinking about how you feel. How's your back?''

''Better. The wounds not as deep as I thought-'' she hesitated for a second. ''How's your arm?''

''Better. Just need to get the bullet out – Could you help me with that?''

Instead of giving me an answer, she duck her hair in the water, and ran her fingers through it. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and she still looked like a goddess.

''I can try.'' She said, as she swam closer towards me. I couldn't figure her out. Only minutes ago, she was mad at me and didn't seem interested at all. And now, her ambience told me something else. She was looking straight into my eyes, with a playful stare. What was she up to?

''This feels nice,'' she muttered, with half of her face underwater. With her hand, she reached my unwounded arm, and stroked it. She looked up, into my eyes. I could feel a heat inside me, and an excitement that was hard to control.

''What are you doing?'' I muttered, underneath my breath. I wanted her so badly, but I didn't want to step over the lines or cross her boundaries. There was something so insanely erotic about the setting.

The lake, the forest that surrounded us, and the morning sun that really set the scene. We were the only ones here, perhaps for miles, and I could do whatever I wanted to her, make her scream so loud, and no one would hear us.

''I don't know-'' she whispered. ''This whole situation is so weird, I have a hard time wrapping my head around it. I mean, we kissed yesterday, and I felt like you actually liked me, and then you..''

Her eyes watered, and the small drops of water that was collected in her eyelashes blended with tears. I stroked her chin, but she moved her head the second I touched her – ''don't. I don't trust you, Lorenzo. You tricked me, in the worst kind of way. You kissed me, and then you betrayed me. I could have died! And you just don't care. You don't care about me.'' Her voice cracked, and her lips were trembling. ''I feel like it would be safer for me to just go home, rather than staying here with you.''

''Adrena, you don't know how shitty I feel. I don't blame you, you have all the rights in the world to hate me. If you knew how much I regret it, and how bad I feel. But please don't go home. When you're here with me, I am able to protect you. And I owe you the world.''

''You don't owe me anything, you took away the only thing that matters – my life! I can never go back you say, and i can never see Naomi again. Do you know how heartbreaking that is? And here you are, acting all heroic, saying that you'll protect me.  And still, beside the fact that I hate you and you completely ruined my life, I still can't stop thinking about that stupid kiss. You are so toxic, so unhealthy for me, but my heart is just drawn towards you, and I hate that. I hate you.''

Her words hurt me, yet it felt like a poem written just for me.

''I think about the kiss too, you know. I can't undo what I've done, I know that.'' I paused. I knew that nothing I could say, would help.

''Kiss me'' she whispered.

''What?'' I stupidly asked. My heart was beating so fast inside my chest, and I felt like a little schoolboy, who was about to have his first kiss. She was so hard to read.

''I said… kiss me.'' She looked shocked by her own approach, and her eyes had a determined and yet desperate glimpse.

I grabbed around her waist, and pulled her in. She was so small next to me, so light weighted. So I placed my hands underneath her thighs, and lifted them up, so she could hug them around my waist. With my hands holding a tight grip on her ass, I kissed her. She was moaning under her breath, as her soft lips met mine.

We kissed so deeply, almost in sync. Her hands were reaching my back, and I could feel her nails digging into my skin. The pain in my arm disappeared completely, and the only thing on my mind was her. She tasted so good, and her lips were as soft as butter.

I broke off the kiss, and moved my lips to her neck, and made sure to kiss every inch of her skin. I knew I hit a good spot, when her voice trembled.

She began kissing my ear, and nibbled in my earlobe. It felt so good and I had a hard time controlling myself. I didn't know how far she'd want me to take it, but if it was up to me, then we would both be naked by now.

With my hand, I began travelling up her thigh. I reached the beginning of her hipsters, and gently stroked the inside of the fabric with my finger. ''Wait,'' she muttered, as she moved her head away from mine. ''Too fast?'' My voice was trembling, same as hers. I've never wanted anyone so badly.

''I haven't.. you know-''

I interrupted her: ''done it? How the fuck is that possible? You're so gorgeous. How could anyone keep their fingers away from that?'' I asked, as my eyes travelled down her body.

She blushed, as she responded: ''I guess I just never met anyone who was interesting enough.''

''Am I… interesting enough?'' I nervously asked. I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

''I don't know. Guess we'll find out eventually,'' she replied with a cheeky smile.

I knew that meant 'not now.' And I had to respect that. ''We have all the time in the world. Are you ready to go back to the car?''

''In a second-'' she said as she kissed me again. She played with me, and she knew how it made me feel. If this is gods punishment for my past mistakes, then so be it.

Being with her was enough.

For now at least.