Escaping The Mind's Hole ~ (Diary Entry #4)

Dear Diary (Heavenly Father),

Practice what you preach, which makes complete sense. No one takes a hypocrite seriously. I sit on my bed, sobbing harder than the rush of a waterfall. No one, nothing, no sound surrounds me. Yet, it was as if I had just been battered by hits that felt endless. A moment ago, everything was fine. One second ago, the chaos kept its forces tucked away. Now? All that lies is muddled mayhem.

Tis easier said than done. One day, progress has been made. Then, the reset button is pushed. It takes a single mistake, mishap, debacle, or whatever you prefer call it. And, poof! Any form of improvement is erased and rendered meaningless. No matter what has been done, no matter how many prayers have been prayed...it is stagnant. It is flat.

...It is just right.

Feeling is deceiving. Time passes by despite the tries, causing frustration to build. We kick ourselves and feel the pain. We weep, scream, and shudder. What we think, do, or say is understandably difficult. But, the Lord's actions and words are incomparable. He knows why we are the way we are. Why we are still in the same place that we are currently in or how we are meant to be helped/handled. Nothing can feel accomplished, yet so much will be silently completed.

Feel it. Feel it now. Let it runs its course. It's okay. Because God is a loving force. He will guide/show the way to eternal salvation. We are here due to proper placement. It's His Will. His way. His outcome. So, accept where you are now. Accept defeat and surrender to Him. It's okay to not understand. Because it is only with God that we can. It is only because of Him that we can truly grow and be purified in every way possible.