Breedé-Dex

As I started to walk south, I felt a strange poke from the west in my arm, and I turned to the forest. There was one glowing purple eye from the forest, but then my eyes were drawn to the ruins of the Ketchum home.

It was an iconic twin to the house I had come from, but they weren't as close to the game as the two had been in the small Gameboy. Regardless, there was nothing more than burned and weathered ruins.

[Certain pokemon were sent to capture Ash's mother, but something happened, and she was killed and burnt down the house. I will tell you about them another time, come and put out the Poké-Dex.]

I started to walk to the forest, briefly blanking about what Graves was talking about. Then I remembered what I had felt in my pocket when I had put the shorts on.

I reached into my pocket and pulled a black Poké-Dex with two golden lines in a way horizontally across it. I opened it up, and the entire thing was a screen, and it lit up right away.

<What the fuck are you?>

I stopped and stared blankly at the words on the screen.

"Excuse me? Are you broken? Or do all Poké-Dex come this stupid?" I asked the screen since I really didn't have a good answer.

<I am not a Poké-Dex; I am a mother fucking Breedé-Dex. I shall guide you dumb ass through this majestic world on this adventure! Like last time, the Poké-World is in trouble, and only you big ass dick can save it!>

What the fuck was this?

[What is wrong?]

Graves' voice growled in my mind, and I started to walk and then began to jog over to the eye that was deep in the forest. As I did, I read over what the Breedé-Dex had said to me, but then the message changed just before I got to the forest.

<I will track and help you train all the Poké-pussy you round up. If you go fuck that Oak Sadistic fuck up, I can transfer all the creamy Waifu's you tag, fuck, and bag!>

"And you are calling him sadistic?" I said out loud as I jogged into the woods.

<Bro, you have no fucking clue, this guy is Hannibal plus the Dark Web, and all the shit deleted off Pornhub! You will see, and he is not the worst; in fact, I overstate his badness compared to the rest of this messed up place.>

I was coming up to the pink eye, but I still couldn't make out the body, but what did this black box mean by Bro?

< Don't think too hard; tons of time to sort out the small things later. You need to prepare to meet Sargent Psyduck. This mother fucker is the Clint Eastwood of Pokemon and the last of his kind. One of the Five asked by Giovanni of the Pokémon Rebellion to capture Ash's mother, Graves, lives with a lot of hate and regret.>

Then plus, the Togetic incident must have really done a number on him. I could see him, and Graves kind of reminded me of a Mighty Duck from the kid's tv show in the nineties.

[Why did you stop?]

It was a bit eerie hearing the rough voice in my mind and having the silent man duck, not saying a word with its arms crossed. I reached out and showed him the strange Poké-Dex that I had pulled out of my pocket, and Graves examined it.

[That is not Misty's Poké-Dex, but I know that she put it in there because there isn't another one around. In fact, this was supposed to be one of the first basic first-generation models, but I have never seen anything like that one.]

I pulled it back and looked at the screen, but then it started to talk out loud, and I groaned.

"I am the mother fucking Breedé-Dex, Arnold fucking Duck-zenegger!" the Breedé-Dex shouted out as I tried to cover the speakers while also looking for a volume button.

[It must be broken. Maybe try and throw it on the ground and stomp on it a couple of times, or use a heavy rock into pieces?]

"Oh, you wanna go, Daffy? Do you think I can't hear that? Why don't we talk about you spying on the girls and jerking that little Rubber Ducky of yours?!" The Breedé-Dex shouted.

Suddenly, Graves was trying to grab at my Idiot Box. I was forced to shove him back and hold the Breedé-Dex out in the other direction.

"Chill out Weedle-Dee and Catter-Dumb! We have a job to do! Come on, Graves, let go, let's go deal with this fuck, and I will make Breedé-Dex search some Poké-Porn for you. Maybe we will find a sexy Dodou for you!" I joked and turned back to Pallet Town, or what was left of it.

<Anyways, Oak is actually pretty badass, but only in the sense that his Poké-Dex is bigger than yours, and his thrusts tear more pussy! The thing is, you have the advantage that he will never see coming!>

"Oh? That I look like a human, but I really am a Pokémon?" I asked as Graves followed me back out into the open and into the sun.

It was a clear afternoon day, and the sun was high in the sky, but it wasn't that hot.

<Whay? No! No one gives a fuck that you look like a human; they will know! How you look now will be the first and last time that you look fully human, so don't get used to the look. You're gonna evolve, mother fucker, and like a billion times!>

"Fine, then what advantage do I have?" I asked without trying to make another attempt with the wise-ass Breedé-Dex.

<You kill humans, and you don't give a fuck. So, all you have to do is kill him. Stop by the Ruins of Ash's old house, and search around for crystal-shaped objects.>

This kept getting weirder and weirder.