I didn't know exactly what I felt. Was it anger? Because he rejected me, or was it pain? Because I loved him so much, or maybe it is the bound, giving that I was rejected and I haven't accepted his rejection. All I knew was that my chest hurt really bad.
I went back to the house and went to look for Crane. I wanted an explanation. I didn't believe all those she-wolves when they said that Crane was just using me. I knew there was an explanation for what he did. I knew that he loved me. Maybe he was just sacred of the mating ritual. Besides, what will he use me for? I am an orphan and have no connections. Why will he use me?
I searched round the house and I couldn't find him. I even went to his room even though I am not allowed to and looked for him but he was not there. I figured that he wanted to be alone and think. There was still time to renew our bound because I haven't rejected him and I will never do that. I love him, and I know he loves me too.
I went back to my room in the servants' quarters and there he was, standing with his back towards me. He was looking out the window. I ran and hugged him from behind. He turned around and pushed me away.
"Don't touch me!" he said in a harsh voice. I was shocked. I looked at him. I saw his eyes soften. "Please, don't touch me." he said in a softer tone.
"What happened out there?" I asked with tears in my eyes
"What do you think happened?" he threw the question back at me.
"I am confused. I don't understand." I spoke. "We were paired by the moon goddess. We are supposed to be mates. Is that not what you wanted?" I asked. Was it not what he wanted? I saw different emotions come and go on his face. It was like he was soft, gentle and loving and then next he is harsh and hateful.
"Well, the moon goddess made I mistake. I can never be a mate to a pack less girl." He said to me.
I was shocked. "I thought you loved me? You said it didn't matter!" I raised my voice.
"Well, it does!" he yelled at me. He held the bridge of his nose and exhaled. "Do you think this is about love Hemera? Let us say I love you; do you think we will be able to mate? What will I gain from you in the mating ritual?" he asked me.
He was right. What will he gain from a pack less orphan like me. I was a fool to think our love was enough; to think my love was enough. I wiped my tears and inhaled deeply.
"I Hemera, accept your rejection beta Crane." A tear ran down my eye. The pain in my chest left instantly. I guess it was the bound after all. I felt he wanted to say something but he held back. He just stormed out and shut the door.
And with that, the dam was broken. I cried my heart out. I didn't even know what to think or what to do. I didn't even know how I would face the world. This is my fate.