Chapter 33 Instigator
Meredith stared at the view as she stood on the balcony. She closed her eyes breathing in the cold breeze. It is almost winter when families reunite and have a reunion after being away from each other for a very long time. Her hair was packed up in a roll and her Royal sweater fitted her perfectly. Her eyes strolled down the garden as memories of Johnathan filled her thoughts.
She remembered how he made sure no one was not left out. How they went places together, how he would tease her, the moments they spent together, the ideas they shared.
Who am I kidding?
He loved someone else.
I was always second
That was her biggest fear. She hated to admit the inevitable. He loved someone else. His first wife.
Meredith looked at her hands as she swirled the glass that contained red wine.
She thought of how he always praised her and the smile he had on his face when he talked about her. Sharon.
All her life she had always wanted to live up to her just to please him but nothing she did was ever good enough. Trying to fill up the void his dead wife left in his heart was just pointless because she was never his first choice. She was always going to be his second choice even if she had loved him with everything she was.
Her son hates her, and she doesn't blame him. She caused everything. If she had focused more on spending more time with him instead of wasting her time trying to please Johnathan, none of this would have happened. She wasn't even there when he needed her the most, she never showed up to celebrate his birthdays, and she was never there when he caught a cold and needed a little care from his own mother.
Meredith gulp the entire glass as tears of regret welled up in her eyes. No pain hurts more than the pain of being hated by your own flesh and blood. She felt so miserable and alone for the first time in a long while.
She had called him the previous night and he didn't even want to speak to her.
Life is so unfair.
A drop of tears landed on her cheek as she quickly wiped them off. She feels that tears are signs of weakness and right now she needed to be strong to find out the thing she already knew the answers to but wasn't sure of it.
She thought of Genevieve and how devastated she was when she went to the room to ask her how she was doing. She loves Nicholas with all her heart, but her cold-hearted son is not interested in her and it kills the young lady.
Meredith sighed.
she knew she was at fault because she was the instigator. If she hadn't said anything like this in the first place, her life would've been way easier and maybe just maybe, Nicholas would accept her for just a minute or maybe think of her for just a few seconds
Who am I kidding?
I don't think there is good left in my little devil.