Chapter 46 I'm Not Alone

On the way home, Adel steered her horse towards near my horse. Adel said, "What had just happened, my lady?"

I answered, "What do you mean?"

"Are you really letting that man into your household like Cassius and Valerie?"

"Of course…I felt there was no harm about him…"

"However, my lady, will his grace and madam allow this?"

I looked at her, "That's why I told him to find me before my parents arrived."

"Even, if that happens, they must be so angry and furious about your choice, that you have invited three strangers into your household without their concern…"

"Are you really going to lecture me about this Adel, like Lady Octavi? Lecturing me about my ignorance and idiocy."

I saw Adel looking at Lady Octavi, who was behind me, steering the horse, and Adel said "I see, that's why you were being quiet back in the tavern, not trying to prevent her from inviting strangers, you have tried to lecture my lady about this, and realising it was your own mistake."

Lady Octavi remained silent, I said, "There is no one mistake, Adel, you are the same with her, you didn't tell me anything either and led my idiocy. I know that you two just followed the order, so I passed it…" Adel and Lady Octavi exchanged a knowing glance, understanding the weight of the situation.

~~~

As we arrived home, Adel immediately took care of me to change the dress to my casual attire. I tried to relax in the living room without any plans or anything to do on that day. Adel brought me a tea set with the tea and some snacks. As I sat in the living room, Adel stood across from me, pouring tea. After pouring the tea, Adel went off from the room.

Soon I realised that I had lived here for weeks in this house, and never paid attention more to this living room. Surely, I had been in there when met Milo, yet in that time, I didn't pay any attention in this room. I got up from my seat. I started to wander around the room. As I was walking around, I could see a lot of things like a lot of tapestries, a family's coat of arms, a pair of daggers and a pair of swords, and lastly, a giant portrait of my family with me and my parents. I was standing in the middle of my parents, and my mother was right beside me while sitting, while my father was standing behind us.

I took some steps towards the portrait and looked closer at it. Somehow, I felt different and eerie, as I kept looking at myself, who was still a kid like 6 years old. The portrait of me seemed to be staring back at me, almost as if it were alive. The most eerie thing was that my expression in the portrait seemed sad yet I was scared with that expression. I turned my gaze to my parents, their expressions were as mine in the portrait, full of sadness, yet somehow their sadness made me scared and shivered my entire body.

I couldn't shake the feeling that something was unsettling about the portrait. I was wondering what my family faced at that time. Unfortunately, I lost my entire memory that day, so I didn't remember anything behind this portrait or why I was sad about it.

Suddenly, I could hear someone's voice say, "Excuse me, my lady…" from behind me. I turned my body and saw Lady Octavi at the entrance of the room. As our eyes met, she said, "May I come in?"

I nodded and said, "You may come in…"

Lady Octavi entered the room gracefully, she was walking towards me, and as she approached, she said, "I see, my lady is still admiring the portrait…"

Admiring wasn't the word, I asked her, "This portrait, may you know anything behind it or the story of what happened when this portrait was painted?"

"Unfortunately, I am not the right person to say that because, at the time of this portrait, I was still in the academy…"

"Well, that's unfortunate…"

"Is there something bothering you about your family portrait, my lady?"

"The expressions… Do you find the portrait quite sad, like melancholic?"

I saw Lady Octavi take one step closer to the painting, and look at it closely. She turned her head towards me, and said, "I don't see anything like that, my lady. Rather than sad, I see the great family with joyful and content expressions." Lady Octavi smiled softly as her eyes reflected the warmth and love she saw in the portrait.

That was odd. I said, "Is that really what you are seeing?"

"Yes, it is, I said what I saw, the portrait with my lady and my lady's parents has joyful and content expressions."

I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease at the stark difference in our interpretations of the portrait. Lady Octavi's response only deepened my confusion, as I couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. It was as if we were looking at two completely different paintings altogether. I saw the portrait as full of sadness yet full of eerie feelings; however, Lady Octavi saw the portrait as full of joy with content expressions. Without any memory of anything before that day, it made me wonder and curious about the story behind this portrait of my family. The six-year-old me and my parents, and what had they faced in that time that had those expressions, or was all of this my illusion or misinterpretation of the painting? I couldn't help but feel a sense of urgency to uncover the truth behind the conflicting emotions portrayed in the portrait as if it held the key to unlocking a long-buried family secret.

As I kept focusing on the portrait, Lady Octavi said, "Do you have time, my lady?"

Her words snapped me out of my trance, and I turned to her and said, "Well, I have a lot of time until dinner…"

"There is something that I want to ask you, may I have a moment of your time?" she asked hesitantly.

I nodded, "How about we take a seat, and you can tell me what's on your mind?"

We took seats, and Lady Octavi hesitated before finally saying, "From whom is my lady running?"

I was taken aback by her question, unsure how to respond, "What are you talking about?"

She took a deep breath for a second and started to talk, "After you went off to the capital from home, your actions became different. Somehow, it felt like you were trying to run from something, so you started to hire people, such as Cassius and Valerie. Now you wanted to hire that person at that tavern…However, the most intriguing thing for me is that my lady keeps saying to them, that people around you were hired by your parents, so you seek someone outside the circle of your parents. Is there someone who is targeting you inside the household that you seek someone outside?"

I was quietly shocked that Lady Octavi could observe me and find an amazing conclusion. Yet, it wasn't just someone who was targeting me; rather, it was the deity and their followers. Hearing what she said, I had a thought in my mind, did I need someone to know what would happen to me in the future—about all of this book and the meeting with the goddesses?

As I pondered this, Lady Octavi continued to speak with another, "At that time in the tavern, my lady seemed to know that man from the beginning, like ordering Valerie to find this person. Even though you never met the man, somehow at the tavern, you already recognised him. The most shocking thing for me was that my lady already knew the man's name…Is my lady running from something or someone, after you left your home?"

I couldn't say anything, for some reason, I felt being pressed with two possibilities, reveal it or not. If I revealed it, I didn't know what would happen in the future, however, it could be a good thing that I had someone who could advise me about this sort of event. But if I kept it to myself, people would start to question everything about me, like right now, Lady Octavi questioned the behaviour of mine towards Cassius, Valerie, and the man.

The air around the room started to feel heavy with tension as I struggled to decide whether to share my secret or keep it hidden. Lady Octavi's piercing gaze of curiosity about me made me realise that my choice would have consequences. As time went on, I took a deep breath and cleared my mind.

I had decided, I would tell her about it, and I said to her, "It isn't running from someone, but running from time, or I can say it, fate…"

Lady Octavi was taken back, her face showed a mixture of shock and intrigue. She asked, "What do you mean by time or fate !?"

I answered, "It means I am running from my own death…"

Her face became more shocked, "Your own death??? Is this about the dream you had the dream?"

"Yes…That dream was shown about my own death, which was a horrible death…"

"But my lady, it's just a dream, why my lady was so scared about this particular dream?"

"Sure, it was just a dream, however, the next few days, I…" I paused as I was scared to continue because I would reveal about the meeting with the goddess to prove that the dream wasn't just a dream but a divine intervention to me about my own death, I tried to move my lips, and slowly words came out, started to talk about the meeting between Gennaia in the temple for the first time, when my parents brought me to the temple. It wasn't just that, I explained to her about the thing Gennaia planted inside my body, that made me sick, and I told her too about my "hallucination." I told her about the other world which was so weird, I talked about the book which showed more details about the future of mine. I revealed the meeting between Delios and Gennaia, and about Gena and Delia that they were the goddesses. The last thing was I told her about Nona which I saw with my own two eyes, Delios perished from her wrath which made me scared of the Crown Prince.

Hearing all of that, Lady Octavi was astonished. I felt like she couldn't believe everything that I had told her. She stood up and started to walk back and forth around the room as if she tried to calm her mind after hearing all of that. Lady Octavi finally stopped pacing and turned to me, "What about Cassius, Valerie, and that man?"

I told her about the twelve figures; those were the key figures of my downfall.

She said, "So that's the reason why my lady wanted to hire them, you want them on your side, and you want to avoid the certain event that leads to your downfall from them." She walked towards her seat and sat back, saying, "Still, I couldn't believe it, my lady. May you tell me about the event of your own death?"

I started to tell her about my own death, that I would be inside a sack with animals, and drown.

Suddenly, Lady Octavi smashed the table with her own hand. The force of her blow caused the table to splinter, sending shards of wood flying in all directions. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "That's impossible, there is no way that my lady could do it towards his grace. There must be someone who influences it."

I said, "I know about it, however, in the meeting with Nona, I saw all of the family members, not just my father, there were my mother, my brother, and my sister lying around on the ground with blood." My hands started shaking on their own, "Which my mother told, me that I was the one who did it towards them." Suddenly, I felt scared to remember that moment, and I couldn't shake the feeling of dread that lingered in the air. The memory of that particular dream still haunted me, especially Nona.

However, I felt something touching my hand, jolting me back to reality. It was Lady Octavi's hand, she was kneeling in front of me while holding my hand. She tried to comfort me, who was scared, she said, " It's just a dream, my lady. You aren't alone now; I will keep staying beside you, no matter what happens. I understand, that witnessing your own death will be painful, and even more painful is witnessing someone you loved die because of you, yet it isn't real; it was just a dream."

Soon I realised, that maybe revealing the secret of mine, would help me feel less burdened. Now, I had Lady Octavi beside me who I could rely on.

"You are right, now, I'm not alone. I appreciate your support, Lady Octavi," I said, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. Lady Octavi smiled warmly, her presence giving me the strength to face my fears and my future.