14

FIVE YEARS AGO...

"Mama...." A tiny voice cried out. Sandra looked down at the small boy tugging at her gown. He dressed in a blue pyjamas with docks patterns on it with a birthday hat hanging loose on his neck.

She ran her hand through his disheveled black hair. His chocolate eyes looked up at her with so much love and adoration, he pouted his small pink lips.

"Mummy's busy Charles, go up to your room." She looked back at Bruce.

"Do not look at me that way Sandra."

"Don't you dare Bruce," her eyes teared up, she pointed at the little boy standing beside her. "You missed his birthday again."

"I had an urgent meeting to attend to."

"Urgent meeting." She scoffed.

"Sandra listen to me."

"He stayed up waiting for you, he refused to cut his cake or open his presents because he was waiting for you." She shouted.

"Do not raise your voice at me woman or else.." He warned, his eyes daring her.

"Or what Bruce?"

"Sandra...."

"You spent your son's birthday in your mistresses bed while he spent the whole day waiting for you."

Her cheeks stung as his palm landed on it.

Little Charles flinched and stepped back in fear, his eyes moving from both Sandra and Bruce. He ran away from the room, tears blocking his vision. Neither of them paid attention to him and they lived to regret it.

They spent the rest of the night searching for Charles. He had run off into the woods during their heated argument.

They had a small vacation home close to the beach and that was where Sandra wanted to celebrate Charles birthday as a family. They rarely visited the place so Charles wasn't familiar with the surroundings, fear and worry enveloped her. They had called the cops and a small group of neighbors and police officers went in search of him.

At dawn, the news of her son being found reached her, she had leaped in joy and ran with every strength she had left.

Her son was only 4 and very scared of the dark, her heart broke for her baby. She imagined how terrified he must have been, if only mummy had given him attention, he was her only source of joy. She would make sure she hug him so tight and kiss him everywhere and he would look at her with his innocent eyes filled with love.

But the eyes that had stared at her was nothing but dead cold. He was dead, that was for sure, all the colours in his face were gone.

"Oh my Charles." Sandra wailed.

And she wept, she wept for the loss of her baby. She would never get to dress him up for school.

She would never get to hug him or kiss him again.

She would never get to hear him say 'Mama'..

Bruce pulled her by the hair, his eyes were blood shot and he shouted. "What have you done to my son you Murderer!" and he hit her non-stop until the cops held him.

The pain she had felt on her body was nothing compared to the ache she felt in her heart.

Nothing made meaning to her on that very day as the world had blacked out on her..

PRESENT DAY.....

Frown lines formed on her forehead, sweats poured off her brows. She let out a muffled cry, her eyes were shut tight, her breathing was irregular. She finally woke up and she opened her eyes slowly, tears blinding her vision. She had cried herself to sleep and the death of her son had played in her head like a movie.

Sandra held a picture of little Charlie against her chest and she sobbed quietly. In the photo, he wore a big smile showing his little white baby teeth. She looked at the calendar beside her bed and the date '11' was circled with red pen. Her son had died on his birthday, on that day she had lost her son, husband, marriage and a huge part of herself.

She picked up 3 test strips lying on the bed, her thumb rubbing against the 2 lines visible on two of the test strips and the word PREGNANT boldly written on the other. She smiled in between her sobs and whispered.

"I won't let anyone take you away from mummy again"......