LEMON TREES (LIMOEIROS)

With my mother at home, I spent more time outside than inside. Remember the bar where I stopped to call Daiane? Yeah, I used to go there a lot. I had my breakfast there, had lunch at home and had dinner at the Pub "The Crossroads", the same, which was frequented by the schoolgirls and by the students too. What really bothered me about having my mom at home, were the outside influences that went with it. Like Agenor calling directly, when he didn't go there in person. I avoided a recurring thought that had been troubling me these days. Comparable to an itch, which had no idea how it started, but it was urgent to scratch. I got on the "Limoeiros" bus and luckily I got a seat. I didn't take the car out of chivalry. The mother always had a thousand things to do. A very busy routine. And I just wandered around. I went to Aline's house, without warning. Not that it caused any problems. We were two free souls. But there was a kid who let her out, a Junior, ah, that I couldn't bear to see the face. Messy and stupid guy. If that were the case, I wouldn't even mind spending the ticket, I'd be right back. I went down one point earlier and had to walk more than necessary to get to her house. The street was unpaved and the dust that went up permeated your clothes, making you feel dirty. On the banks, eucalyptus plantations and in the houses, which were distant from each other, feet of ipês or sombreros, most without walls, some with fences and those that were walled, had low walls. Aline lived at the end of the street. It was a cul-de-sac that ended at the back of a paper mill, where the parking lot was. The wall of the house was so high that it was impossible to see it from the street. Climbing plants covered the exposed bricks and at the entrance gate there was a porch with a roof that was very charming.

Always dangerous to visit schoolgirls in their homes. That's why I didn't visit any, except for Aline. I was a tourist to tell the truth. Locked, returned when he wanted. Rich parents, who spoiled her too much and had no time for her. Which was satisfactory to me. I rang the bell and Amanda came to answer it. That way, all insinuating themselves. I was already through the covers with everything. It didn't cost to send one to fuck. And the way it was our last meeting, I wouldn't risk too much contact. Spark could come out. - Did you come to see Aline or me? - He gave it right away. It was like that and even worse. Always with those tiny shorts. I don't know how Ms. Judith let her work like that. To tell the truth, I never understood those two, Aline's parents. Never mind. - I came. Does it matter who I came to see? - I thought you were a philosophy professor. They teach ethics, morals, those things. And you stay there playing smart with all the little girls, right? Is that ethical? - You know what, doll? Talking has nothing to do with doing. Do you know why the human being is a stupid animal? - I asked, getting very close. Touching her lips to her nose. She made a silly joke with her mouth and shrugged, like a teenager. - That's why we think before we act. If we react to anything on impulse, pleasure or without a reason, wouldn't we be animals? Do not you think? NO and that is the key. What sets us apart from animals is what limits us. I don't know if it was possible for you to understand, but this is how it works, babe. - Are you calling me stupid? Do those smart schoolgirls of yours have it here as tough as I do? - She replied turning and prancing that ass she squeezed with her hands. Ah, she had her worth. As it had. But the gardener, who I know he also picked up there, looked at us from a distance, with an ugly face. I laughed and slapped that ass. The consistency, as well as the loud and loud sound, made it clear that what she was talking about was true. Hard, really hard.

I waited in the room. Amanda went to answer her gardener's call. I felt bad in that place. The furniture, the decor, the lights. For every corner you looked at you felt inferior. It was all so chic, impeccable. Aline ran down the stairs. He wore a white T-shirt that was much bigger than his size, with the pattern of loving teddy bears, which covered his black lace panties, which I only noticed that he wore afterwards. Her breasts swayed as hard as pears on her feet, trying to resist the wind. It jumped at me, almost made me fall, but I held it. These excesses, the intensity, did not bother me, I even liked it. Aline was like that, but it was difficult to predict and that was what attracted me the most. - I sent you a hundred messages, I called you. You asshole, you idiot. You didn't answer me. You asshole, fucking asshole! - Around my neck she kissed me, ran her hands through her hair. Before I start slapping. Light, playfully, but those eyes didn't lie, she was furious with me. - OK Go. Stop being hysterical. You know me. Are you going to be frufrus? Can I smoke here? - I asked pulling the cigarette out of my shirt pocket and ascending. - You know you don't and yet you smoke. Then complain because Josiel doesn't go with your face. Know that the last time my father was here he noticed the smell and asked. I said it was the poor gardener, poor thing. - Then he must hate you and not me. - I started to laugh wildly and cough with laughter engulfed by the last drag. In the end we agreed that Josiel had reason to hate both of us and ended the conversation in bed. - Do you know what happened in the alley that night? You have no idea. I know you don't like to talk about it. But listen to that. -We were in bed, lying side by side. She came over me, legs stretched out, resting them on the headboard and sitting on my legs. He sucked my ear, that wonderful tongue seemed to be about six inches. I got to shiver with lust. Then he continued. - When you were out there, it was very strange. I was afraid! Your eyes were open and you were shaking, super-fast. Your eyelids and lips popped out and you said some things that you couldn't understand. He seemed to be dreaming. But it was as if the dream really affected you. Crazy. I just had to tell you this. I can't keep something like that. I can't stop thinking.

Every single day I think about that horror movie scene. She laughed afterwards and talked. I breathed a sigh of relief that Aline didn't take things so seriously. Anyone would want an explanation, she doesn't. I just wanted to get out. She ran his fingers through the curls of his black hair. When she smiled it accentuated those dimples and the freckle population that lived around her. The green eyes like jade stones spoke truths that I shouldn't hear about dependence and surrender. We had a nice coffee with fruits, juices and cereals and then strolled around the house. Aline didn't have a yard, there were about eight football fields side by side. From the back of the house, a hill began to shy, which gradually drooped and leafy feet of mango, without a sleeve, it was not their time. A stream cut across the land. The calm sound of its waters suggested to me that schools of fish jumping out. And being there with Aline was almost romantic. "Come see Pegasus," he said boldly, pulling me by the arm. It seemed to me that I would fall into the river. We entered the stable, where there were two oxen, eight sheep and two horses. Other oxen grazed above the river on the hills. "Feel his fur, how soft," she said, guiding my hand with hers in stroking the animal. It was an all black horse, beautiful indeed. Imposing posture and an imposition of leadership in the look. Something I felt more like an omen than visually speaking.

- There are also pigs and chickens, come on! She called as she ran. I stayed there, with my hand in contact with the horse. It was so good energy. The hairs twitching at my touch and the relaxation, well-being that I felt and hoped to return as well. I took a good look at those eyes that caught my attention and they were black and deep, like the well. They absorbed me beyond the visible reality and out of nowhere that austerity and strength were lost and I, scared, retreated. - Be part of the book and it will be part of you forever. He knows the stories that are in him, almost all, but he does not know the stories that he will still tell. There's no turning back. The book will consume you and madness will be part of your life, like your breathing. I fell on the hay and couldn't believe what had just happened. The horse was talking to me and about the book. The disgusting book. Restless he wanted more answers. I asked more about the book, - what did he know, - because he was warning me about the book, - if I talked to the animals because I didn't remember talking to one before. He just neighed, said nothing more. I went with Aline, she was screaming from the hen house calling me. Chickens, pigs, nothing else would interest me on this day. - I said goodbye to Aline. He smoked a cigarette in the garden of the house. It was getting dark and the lights were on. A white stone path led to a water source from which a majestic marble Venus adorned with worshipers. From jars and shells like marble sprang clear and bubbling streams of water. He admired the work of art. The body of Venus more attentively, when from the source I noticed a slight deviation from the light, what I thought was a passing fish or even the water current, but when I looked I saw the open reflective book inside. I ducked and squatted, I moved in the water, clapping my hands to ward off the demonic apparition. I lost cigarettes and composure. I went crazy inside the fountain. I went into it with clothes and everything and I couldn't turn off that image from the reflective book in the water in my head. It was there, real, clear. It was not like an apparition, something impalpable, I could feel and touch it and it would drive me crazy to the point of drowning me. I struggled in the water fighting that power with weak resistance.

I was saved by the gardener, who did not splurge and said he would not tell anyone. The gardener, who knew. But what I saw in those seconds that passed like hours on the other side, was the third story in the book. The hideous continuation of the pernicious manuscript, one that I would avoid as much as possible, but that seemed to escape my will that I knew.