A Long Talk

Ara got up the next morning, and the first thing she thought of was James. She smiled as she thought of him and decided to skip breakfast to go down and see him. She didn't want to be nervous when she talked to him and thought being happy would be a better beginning to their conversation. 

She walked to the hospital wing, slowly thinking about what she would say, but everything left her mind when she opened the doors and saw him lying there with his eyes closed. She really wanted to talk to him, but she didn't want to wake him up either. He had a bad day yesterday, and he really did deserve to sleep. 

"Ara, it's okay. I'm awake." She was startled by his voice and the fact that he knew she was standing there staring at him. She walked up to the side of his bed slowly and sat down in one of the chairs. She felt really good moments earlier, and now she had no idea what to say. 

"How are you feeling?" She put on a smiled the best she could as he turned and looked at her. 

"Much better than yesterday." He returned the smile, and they went back to sitting in silence. Why was this so hard? Normally, talking to each other was so effortless and easy. 

"James," She already felt the tears coming into her eyes, and she was trying to hold them back so she could make it through what she needed to say, "I am so very sorry," She had thought of significantly more to say on the way down here, but that is all that she could manage the moment. She meant it, though—every word. 

James waited a few seconds before even thinking of what to say. She looked so miserable, same as him. He didn't really know where this was going. He knew what he wanted, but he still didn't know if she still liked him. 

"I just, I mean, for everything I did to you this year. Breaking up with you and saying all of those things. I know none of that is true. I was hurting so bad. I am so sorry I took it all out on you. For that date, I went on. It seemed like you weren't bothered by it at all, and I just wanted you to feel as awful as I did. It was the worst afternoon I have ever experience. I wish I could take it all back. I understand if you cannot forgive me, but I need you to know that I still care for you so much." 

James sat there, shocked. He really didn't know what to say now. He forgave her the minute he saw her crying in class. The minute he realized how heartbroken she was too. He would get back together with her in a heartbeat, but he didn't know if he could trust her. He had never thought that before. She had gone on another date a little bit after they had broken up. Who's to say that if they got into another big fight that she wouldn't do that again?

"Ara, you know how much I care about you." She shook her head yes and smiled as she reached out her hand for his. Taking it gently, trying not to cause him any pain, "You hurt me a lot." It was the truth, and he wished it wasn't. They both were crying now. They both were broken without the other, but neither knew what to do to move past this. 

"I am so very sorry, James. I shouldn't have ever thought those things. You kept telling me that it was nothing, and I should have just listened. I understand if you know you don't want to get back together. I understand if I hurt you too badly." She didn't want to understand, but she was beginning to. She knew that she wanted him to be happy above all of this and after all of this. That is what she always wanted. 

"Ara, I am hurt, but I don't know if there is anything you could do that would hurt me too badly to stop me from caring about you. From wanting to see you and hang out with you. I would never want to lose you in my life. Not being able to talk to you these last couple of months have been the worst part of all of this." 

Ara let the tears fall. She felt the same way and didn't know how to tell him this next bit. 

"James, at Christmas, when I went to Paris with my grandmother, I went on a couple of dates there too. They don't matter. They didn't matter. The boy was so nice to me when I started getting upset in the restaurant I was eating. I couldn't help but think about how it would hurt you, though. The whole time I was with him, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I need you to know. I didn't want to have this secret between the two of us. I want us to be friends. I want to see you again."

James felt the same way he did when he saw her sitting with Mike. Like he should have been there. Like he should have been the one to break it up. He squeezed her hand. He was happy that she told him. 

"Ara, I am sorry," James was sorry too. He didn't understand why she was upset, and he should have taken more time to talk to her about it. Maybe then none of this would have happened. 

"James," Ara wanted to ask him right there to get back together with her, but she didn't know if that was the right thing to do. Suppose that was just her being selfish. What if that's not what he wanted anymore. 

"Ara, I really want to be your friend again. But I want you to know still how much I care for you. How much being around you means to me. I want you to have this back too," James pulled out the locket that she had thrown to the ground and handed it to her. He had kept it with him this whole time, waiting for the right time to get it back. 

Ara started to cry again; she thought she had lost it when they had gotten into the fight. She had looked everywhere for it. 

"James, thank you so much," She put it back on as soon as he handed it to her, and she felt better already. Maybe being friends is what they needed. And maybe one day they would be alright again. 

They sat there for about another hour just talking before Lily and Albus arrived. Albus smiled immediately. His brother looked happy again, and he was glad about that. Lily was happy he was doing better too, but she was still anxious about the whole situation. She didn't want him to get hurt again. 

"Thank you again, James," Ara got out of the seat and offered it to Lily. She touched her locket as she left. It was a good talk. She missed being in his company and was glad that she would have that even if it meant she wasn't going to be his girlfriend still. She still loved him. She would give him time, and maybe they could figure it out. 

"So," Lily looked at her brother hard as she sat down. She wanted to know what was going on between them. 

"What, Lily?" 

"What do you mean what! What is going on between the two of you?" 

"We are friends again. She came down here to apologize for everything, and we talked everything out." 

"So you didn't get back together?" Albus looked bummed out to James.

"Well, no. I think we both need more time to figure everything out. So nothing like this ever happens again." 

"Well, that's good." Lily was proud of her brother that he wasn't making any rash decisions. That is normally something he would do. 

"What do you think of it all?" James was looking curiously at both of his siblings. Neither looked as if they wanted to answer the question.

"Well, I see how upset she is every night, so basically, I know that she is feeling terrible about everything. I want both of you to be happy again, so I am glad you're at least going to be friends again." Albus was the first to talk after a long silence.

"I'm glad you're in better spirits; I just don't want you to get hurt again." Lily tried really hard not to sound mad or angry with Ara, but she didn't know if she did a great job. 

"You know I still love her, don't you?" James wasn't sure why he wanted his little sister's approval, but that is basically what he was after. 

"I know. You are always going to love her, aren't you?"

"Yes." James sighed. Now that they were friends again and were going to be hanging out, he knew he would want to get back together with her. How was he going to make that happen and protect his heart all at the same time? He was going to need to think about it some more before he acted, at least.