Thai Food

Alexander

When we arrive at campus, Natalia and I head to the coffee shop's parking lot. Once I see my car, I unlock it from a distance and Natalia's eyes widen as she sees what I drive. I'm not going to deny the fact that I am very proud of my car. It's my baby! I open the passenger door for Natalia to get in and she says "thank you" as she sits down. Then, I get in and we both put on our seat belts. 

"I'm not going to tell you that you have a super cool car, cause you already know so", Natalia says, rolling her eyes.

I smile, looking at her like: yeah, but it would mean so much more to me to impress a girl like you. Why do I feel like this? I realize I have a growing need for her approval, like her opinion matters more than anyone I have ever met. I have to be honest with myself, it is not about the assignment's grade anymore. I honestly like spending time with Natalia. Knowing what she's thinking has become an obsession to me, and I also enjoy learning from her. Am I developing some type of infatuation?

"What's up? Can't decide where to go for dinner?" Natalia asks, noticing me spacing out. "Thai food. Let's get some good Thai food", I blur out. She smiles at me, nodding in agreement. We pull out of the parking lot and I drive us to the coast. 

I turn on my radio and play some R&B music. "Is this okay?" I ask Natalia. She looks at me confused. "What's okay?" I point at the radio. "This music." She shakes her head and looks at me baffled. "It's your car, Alexander, you can play whatever the heck you want for all I care." 

Alright. "Bay hates my R&B and 90's rap, and hip-hop. Every time she gets in my car she complains about my music and I have to change it to a pop station", I explain. Natalia doesn't say anything, but her facial expression lets me know how she feels about what I just said. I can feel she is passing judgment on me or on Bay, but she doesn't share it. She stays quiet, listening to the music and turning her attention to my car and the many features it has.

Curiosity strikes me, so I ask "Why don't you have a car, Natalia?"

She looks at me with disbelief. "Are you serious? Is that a serious question?" I stay quiet for a minute, unable to understand her tone, and then say "yes, it is a serious question." Natalia sighs. "You are really clueless. Aren't you?" She leans her head against the window and rests, closing her eyes with annoyance. What just happened? Did I offend her? What did I say wrong?

"Natalia, please talk to me. Did I say something that bothered you?" 

She sighs again. "You can't just say stuff like that to people like me, especially while driving such an expensive beautiful car. I know it might not be your intention, but it sounds like you are putting me down for not having something that clearly comes so easily to you." 

I truly put some thought into what she said, and looking at it from her perspective, I guess I can sympathize with how she feels. "I see... I am sorry. It never crossed my mind that my question would have such a negative effect on you. I simply wanted to know if it was by choice." 

Natalia lets out a chuckle and says "yeah, I really love taking the bus and walking everywhere, especially while carrying my 25 lbs backpack!" Then, she looks at me, rolling her eyes. "Are you being sarcastic? You are being sarcastic, right?" 

"I'm sorry", she says, "I'm being rude. I know you have no idea what is like to not have things because you can't simply afford them, instead of choosing not to have them. It must seem impossible to you for anyone not to have such essential things, like a car, but this is how the average person lives on a regular basis, Alexander."

"But why is that? I don't get it. You are not lazy. You work, and you are smart, and you are contributing to society. Why can't you have a car? I'm sure you can get something affordable, suitable for your wage." She stays silent for a while and I don't like it. I don't like when she doesn't speak to me. I rather she be rude and opinionated. "I'm sorry, I overstepped my curiosity. You don't have to answer. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable." 

I look at Natalia for a second and I try to smile at her, searching for any signs of a "we agree to disagree" treaty. She looks at me, sadly, but she manages to smile back. "I often ask myself the same question, Alexander. Why? Why can't I have the chance to get ahead in life like people in your position do? But I don't make the rules, and neither do you. I just have to remind myself that it is not your fault."

"Right, it is not my fault that I have money, well, that my family has money." Natalia laughs and she snorts, making me laugh too. "Don't say it like that! Like you're trying to make me feel sorry for you being rich, you jerk!"

I keep laughing and she shakes her head, still laughing too. "Wow, and she insults me!" I say while looking at her. I love her laughter. I like seeing her this happy. She looks at me and gets a little embarrassed, probably by the way I'm looking at her right now. She stares at the windshield, looking right ahead into the coast's road.

"This view is amazing!" She says and I agree... but I am not talking about the breathtaking sunset, I am referring to the beautiful smile and content look on Natalia's face.

"I have been saving money... You know? For the car." She surprises me with that statement. I thought we had passed the stressful subject. I didn't want to keep pressing on it. "Oh yeah? That's good, Natalia!" A proud smile adorns her gorgeous face now, and she nods. 

"My friend Taylor, my dorm mate, wanted to cosign for me, because I don't have any credit yet, but I don't want that. I like to earn things on my own, work for what I have, like my mother."

I can't comprehend how someone who is struggling for money can have that kind of mentality. I want to say, there's nothing wrong with accepting the help you need from those who trust you, especially when they are in the position to easily provide it for you, but I keep my opinion to myself. I guess that's her choice... and I can't help but feel a massive admiration for the woman.

"We are almost there", I say to Natalia, who is admiring the shore's view from here. "So, what does your mother do?" I ask her, wanting to meet the intriguing lady who has taught the value of earning things to her.

"She is a hairdresser. She has her own salon at home, not like at home, but her house is on the second story of the duplex, and she works downstairs. It is actually a professional establishment. You know what I mean... Also, she has two more women who work for her, with her, I should say."

I nod. "Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. My grandparents used to bake cakes for weddings. At first, they operated from their little house and as business increased they bought a duplex. They used the upstairs to live in, and the downstairs, they turned into a bakery." I smile, remembering the countless stories my Nana has told me about those days. "They put my mother through college like that. My mother used to help them in the bakery too."

"Really?" Natalia sounds super interested and surprised with my grandparents humble beginnings. "I guess I have something in common with your mom after all", Natalia says to me, smiling. "I guess so. The next thing you must do is marry a rich guy after you graduate." Natalia's eyes open wide after my silly comment, so I start explaining myself right away!

"My father is the rich guy in the story." I chuckle and Natalia seems relieved.

"What happened with your parents?" She asks, looking concerned. "My father is a workaholic, obviously not because he needs to work. He has plenty of money to retire, but he is just obsessed with his profession. He neglected us constantly. Don't get me wrong, he's a good man, but a terrible partner. It's better for him to live alone, so he can dedicate his precious time to his career and hobbies."

Natalia senses my bitterness and says "at least you know your father". Her facial expression bothers me. She's sad now. I don't like seeing her sad, so I turn up the music and start rapping to the lyrics of the song playing.

"Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can't you see. Sometimes your words just hypnotize me. And I just love your flashy ways. Guess that's why they broke, and you're so paid (uh)." I move along to the rhythm of the song as I park my car in front of the beach's Thai restaurant I love so much. Natalia's eyes light up and a huge smile spreads across her face.

She is mesmerized by my silly behavior and I manage to change her mood because of that. "Who are you?" She says laughing, admiring me with such curiosity, and I like the attention I am getting from her. Natalia starts singing along with me, lifting her arms, dancing and going along with my crazy car performance. We laugh and I don't want to get out of the car until the song is over.

When the song ends, I lay back, enjoying the moment.

I turn to look at Natalia and notice her touching her stomach and there are tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. She turns to look at me and sighs... and at this moment I realize I haven't laughed this much in a long time. I don't know what it is about her that makes me feel so relaxed and satisfied with the simplest things.

Natalia wipes the tears around her eyes and unbuckles her seat belt. I undo mine as well, and we both get out of the car at the same time. The people outside stare at us as we walk towards the entrance. I guess they saw our little dancing show a few minutes ago in the car. I honestly do not care. Is it possible? Is it possible that I really don't care about what people must be thinking or saying about me right now? This feeling of not caring is contagious. Is Natalia Díaz changing me? She walks beside me without a care in the world.

I open the restaurant's front door and let Natalia enter first. I don't know what this feeling is, but it feels weird. Even though I'm with the pink pigtail's girl dressed in a Terminator outfit, I feel as if I couldn't have a better companion for this beautiful evening. People keep staring as we get seated by the staff, but I don't pay attention to them. In my head, it is only Natalia and I in our own little world, where her fashion style doesn't matter, and our social and financial status doesn't define us. "

"Wow, this is amazing, Alexander. I can see why this is your favorite Thai restaurant." I smile proudly, satisfied with the fact I have impressed her. Natalia is not a materialistic girl. She is actually talking about the magical scenery of the ocean spread feet from us.

We are seated in the back. I like sitting here because I can listen to the ocean's waves and the marine birds as the warm breeze blows through the open part of the restaurant freely. There are no walls in this area, so it feels like you are eating in a hut floating on the water.

Natalia smiles and her amber eyes beam at the majestic sight, and then at me. I contemplate her, and I want to save the image in my brain forever; the way the sunlight hits her beautiful eyes as she opens her mouth in aw.

We are simply captivated by this moment in which we stare at each other as if there is no one else around us. She takes off her jacket. I guess she was cold in my car. I tend to put the air conditioner too high... Bay always complains about that too. If Natalia would have said she was cold I would have lowered the A/C for her. I see her tattoo again and my eyes can't seem to look away from it. 

The waiter comes with our menus and he asks us what we want to drink. Natalia orders a Thai iced tea and I order the same. When he leaves, she catches me staring at her tattoo still. So she sits closer to me, switching chairs to the one right next to me, facing straight to the beach and her back towards the inside of the restaurant. 

"Here, now you can have a closer look", she says. I smile, embarrassed, but I do stare at it closer. I get nervous at the thoughts racing through my mind, I want to touch her arm. I want to run my fingers and trace the orchids adorning her tanned skin.

She stares back at me, and now I am aware that my hand is on her shoulder, where the sleeve starts. She doesn't say anything or pulls away either, so I continue to trace her arm, gently. My fingers touch her soft skin and she studies me. She watches my hand while I softly go down her arm reaching the end of her tattoo. My heart starts racing, and I notice her chest going up and down the way it does when someone's breathing quickens. 

I'm aroused by the thoughts crossing my mind. When I look at her face she stares into my eyes... and man, what are you making me feel, Natalia? Suddenly, the waiter comes back with our drinks and I stop touching her arm immediately. I rearrange myself back in my chair, sitting straight, and Natalia takes her glass to drink from it.

She looks flushed as I probably look too. 

The waiter asks if we are ready to order and we clearly haven't even looked at our menus yet. "I will get your favorite dish", Natalia says in a rush, trying to act normal, but she seems super nervous. "Alright", I say with a shy smile and order the same thing for both of us. The waiter leaves us and there is silence between us for a few minutes, but not an awkward silence, a peaceful one. 

We admire the sunset and observe how the birds get their prey from the ocean. The warm breeze hits us and I catch a scent of Natalia's perfume with it. I like the mixture of the aroma. 

"This is nice", she says. "Yes", I whisper.

The food arrives and we eat it savoring every bite. "Oh my God, this is delicious! Alexander, this is the best Thai food ever!" The way Natalia takes in the whole experience, closing her eyes while tasting her food, brings me great pleasure. She is so passionate. A simple dinner brings so much joy to her, and it is contagious.

I contemplate her, wondering how it would feel to be loved by her, to have her look at me with such passion and happiness. Which makes me think of the guy she fell in love with… whoever he is. What happened between them? Also, what went on between her and Chris? How can she make me feel so much by just staring at her and by simply touching her arm? I have never felt so many emotions towards someone or for someone so quickly after meeting them.

As the night goes on, I have to remind myself this is not a date. This is just Thai food. We just went out for Thai food, I repeat to myself. 

"So, did Bay like coming here with you?" Natalia asks, looking at her almost empty plate. I shake my head. "No. She is a vegan, so whenever we went out to eat we only went to vegan places. I preferred it that way just so I didn't have to go through the annoying questionnaire of the ingredients on the menu and witness her arguing with the staff, complaining about how there should be more options for vegans." Natalia laughs and I laugh too, realizing how awful my former relationship must seem to her.

"Anyway, I should get you to your dorm already. It's getting late and I imagine you have homework to do and other things. Unless you want dessert", I say to her, sort of provocatively. She raises her eyebrows and says "I am full, so I don't know if I would have room for it, but you know, you are quite tempting, Mr. Bailey."

I grin. "Oh yeah? Am I?" I ask curiously, making her blush. "Not you! Your offer... you know what I mean?" She explains herself, covering her face, hiding her smile and flushed cheeks. "I will still take that as a compliment", I assure her with an unapologetic smug. 

I reach for her hands covering her face, and I try to get them off her face. "Come on, Natalia, let me see you", I tease. 

The waiter comes and I place an order of dessert for both of us to go. Once he leaves, Natalia finally behaves normal. 

"What?" She asks me while I stare at her. "You look adorable when you get embarrassed." She smiles and looks away, then she asks "only when I get embarrassed?" I get serious now, placing a hand on her shoulder, as I sigh and dare to caress her arm again. "Yes", I say, "the rest of the time you look dreamy." 

Her lips part and she looks at me shocked. The look in her big eyes scares me. It's quite overwhelming.

I see the waiter coming our way with two small boxes and my check. I let go of Natalia's arm and give the waiter my card. Natalia takes a few sips of her glass of water and I do the same. We are both nervous. I hope I didn't make her uncomfortable. What is it with me today? I am normally not this forward with women. Where are my manners? I don't want her to feel objectified. 

"I'm sorry, Natalia, if I have made you feel uncomfortable. The last thing I want is for you to feel harassed by me in any way."

The waiter comes with my card and I sign the check. 

"Ready?" I ask her. She nods and we both stand, and I let her walk in front of me. 

We get out of the restaurant and I open the passenger door of my car for Natalia. When we get in and I start the engine, the radio blasts so loudly that it makes both of us flinch! I remember I put on the last song we listened to super loud, so I lower the volume.

Natalia laughs, and I smile nervously as I try to get us out of the parking lot. Hopefully, our ride back to campus is not awkward after my forward behavior in the restaurant. 

"I like this song", Natalia says, so I turn the volume a little higher. "So do I." We sing together, and while doing so, we look at each other for a few seconds, but then, I am reminded of the way Chris and her exchanged the same look earlier. I don't know how to feel about that. Suddenly, I am thrown off the cool energy between us... and now I really want to know what is going on between them. 

"Hey, so what happened with you and Chris?" I say abruptly. My question surprises her. Natalia looks perplexed. Her lips part and she opens her mouth in an amusing way that can only be described as what the hell?

She rolls her eyes and says "If you must know, and I am sensing that you are not going to let this go, Chris and I kissed one time, and then things sort of became weird between us. I didn't want to risk our friendship and the band, so I told him we had to be just friends, you know, like real friends who never kiss each other when there is no one else around."

I feel my face hot, but decide to smile anyway, even if I look awkward. I can't deny how uncomfortable I am feeling right now.

"So you guys never kissed again? That was it?" Natalia chuckles, letting me know the answer to my questions. "So it was more than one time, right?" Natalia nods, confirming my suspicion. "When was the last time you two kissed?" I press to know the whole truth. "Oh my God, Alexander! Last Winter, like I said. It only lasted a month or so." 

I study her and I can sense she is not lying. 

"When was the last time you kissed Bay?" She stares at me, demanding an answer, and I can feel my adrenaline rushing. I notice I am speeding! I let go of the gas pedal immediately and turn to Natalia, and at one glance I can see she's a little scared.

What the hell is happening to me? I breathe in and exhale, while lowering the speed of my vehicle.

"I don't know. I don't remember. It's been too long. Last Spring, I guess, on her birthday... or was it June? I don't know, it's been a couple of months at least." Natalia is looking at me with agony, maybe she feels sorry for me or Bay.

"Listen, Alexander… I want you to know something, okay? What you said to me in the restaurant, I want you to know that I didn't feel harassed by you." Natalia's comment surprises me, and I stay silent hoping she will elaborate. I don't look at her, I just drive and focus on the road and my speed. 

"I just got scared because I don't want the same thing that happened between Chris and I to happen to us." I let out the breath I didn't even notice I was holding. "I see", it's all I say to her, while wild thoughts run through my mind at the speed of light. So Natalia is attracted to me. I mean, why else would she fear that? 

"With the assignment", she continues, "it would be super awkward if we... Well, what I am trying to say is if something happens between us things could get weird, and that could jeopardize our partnership and finally our grade." I nod quickly. "Right! I get it. I completely get it. You are right. It makes sense."

It makes total sense, I say to myself, but common sense is not appealing to me all of the sudden. Common sense does not comfort me anymore. I simply can't conform with it. I realize now what I was missing in my relationship with Bay. We made sense, we matched; the perfect couple, people would say, but it is so monotonous! So bland! So... boring!

Natalia opens one of the little boxes containing our desserts and gets a spoon. She tastes the sweet treat and says "Mm!" I look at her and automatically, my eyes scan her lips and the way they clean up the dessert from the spoon. I bite my lips without noticing and my heartbeat quickens.

I get aroused just by looking at how this woman eats! She is so sexy, that everything she does is mesmerizing to me... the way she goes up the stairs, when she laughs and when she gets sassy with me, giving me attitude or scolding me with her sarcasm.

"You want some? I can see you drooling over this!" She giggles and opens the other box. Natalia gets the other spoon, and I want to say: No, I'm not drooling about the stupid delicious dessert, I'm drooling over you! But it's too late, Natalia scoops a tiny piece of the dessert onto the plastic spoon and extends her hand to me. I look away from the road for a second, and I open my mouth. 

She shoves the tiny piece inside my mouth and I savor it until I swallow it. I keep turning to her for more, and she feeds me slowly until I am done with the dessert. Then, she finishes hers.

A million thoughts race through my mind. Ah, this assignment has turned out to be the most complicated thing I have faced in all my classes at the university so far. What am I going to do if you keep doing things like this to me, with me? I don't know how this is going to end... you are just too tempting, Natalia Díaz, too dreamy!

We get to campus and she gives me directions to her dorm. Once we reach the destination, I park and say "let me walk you to your dorm." She shakes her head shyly and says "you don't have to". "I know, but I want to, it's late and dark already."

I get out of the car and open her door. "It's only a little bit past 9 pm dad", she says sarcastically as she steps out of the car. "I just want to see where you live, how about that?" I confess shamelessly. 

Natalia smiles and says "there, that's your true motive, not the noble excuse you used, trying to sound like some kind of brave gentleman trying to protect me." I laugh as she leads me to her place. "Well, I am a gentleman, but I don't know about the brave part... Besides, you're the kind of lady that doesn't need anyone's protection."

Natalia winks at me, pointing at her handbag, and I know she's talking about her little taser. We finally reach her dorm and she stands in front of her door. Natalia turns to me and says "good night Alexander. I had an awesome time with you... and I mean the whole day was awesome." 

I look into her eyes and I get so nervous... Natalia plays with her keys and I look down at her hands. I grab her hands and she holds mine in hers. If this was a date I would kiss her. I would kiss her passionately and she would hold onto me for a few minutes, but it is not... so I have to break the fantasy and say "good night, Natalia, see you in the stairway tomorrow".

She smiles at me and I let go of her hands.

I walk away with my heart racing and the memory of Natalia feeding me in the car, us dancing and singing to Biggie's song, the way the sunlight illuminated her amber eyes in the restaurant, the way her soft tanned skin felt on my fingers while tracing the tattoo on her arm, and the way she felt in my arms when I tackled her on the sidewalk when she wouldn't answer if she had ever fallen in love. 

I will fall asleep writing about all this tonight... and hopefully, I will get to dream about it too.