CHAP 5: Conscience

After eating breakfast, I took two sacks full of vegetables over my shoulder and we went outside, where I dropped them, then picked up Alice in a princess carry.

"You're heavier."

"Excuse me!"

She hit me lightly in the chest.

"I don't say it as a bad thing. It just means you're healthier than last time."

She huffed, and, making the fungus pick up the sacks, we started gliding towards the city. Since my control of the fungus was better, the gliding was substantially easier and faster than before, which made the travel much smoother. Getting close, I stopped gliding, put the bags over my shoulder, and we started walking toward the city since I doubted seeing a person floating with a mass of black tendrils would invoke a feeling different than "he's a goddamned demon" and while I planned on possibly doing a thing similar to what I'd in the village, it would still be better to be subtle, at least for now. We walked through the compacted snow streets, Bea was wrapped around my neck, looking like a scarf, looking at the antique buildings, antique for me, at least, Alice, in contrast, looked very impressed by the admittedly better-built houses than the ones in her village. People looked at us with curiosity, visitors shouldn't exactly be common considering the era and the location, yet none took the initiative to approach, either out of some strange fear or simply because they did not care that much.

I approached a shop, apparently one that sold fishing supplies and fish themselves, I saw carcasses of seals, which could end up being useful. I pointed at one of them, which seemed to be in a better state.

"How much?"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry. What do you want for the whole carcass?"

"Hmm, 8 potatoes will do."

"C'mon, the carcass is not in a good enough condition for that. 5."

"You don't strike me as a fisher. 8 or no deal."

"I'm many things, sir. 6 is the best I can offer you."

The man paused

"7, final offer."

"Deal."

I offered him my hand and he shook it. I'd taken some vegetables before, expecting I'd need to trade to get things. I put the 7 potatoes on the table, and the man gave me the carcass. I put it in one of the sacks I'd brought with me.

"What're you going to do with it, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm a doctor, writing a book about the anatomy of animals."

"What brings such an esteemed sir like you to a little city like ours?"

"A drive to learn more, mostly. I heard about this little fisher city close to one of the biggest lakes in the region and decided there would be something worth learning there. This seal proves that I wasn't wrong."

"Huh, hope you and your daughter enjoy your stay, doctor. There are some inns in the city which I'm sure would have room for someone of your level."

"Not his daughter."

Alice spoke up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, young lady."

The man turned to me once again.

"If I am not intruding, sir, then who is she?"

"This is Alice, my?"

"Little sister, I'm his little sister."

The man got very confused, probably because of the age gap, and why I would need to ask her that. It's a crack in the mask, but sincerely, I don't have to play my A-game here, so I won't worry about it. I hear this little thing in my brain that I should play with everything I have at all times, but I shut it down. This is an old habit I'm going to have to discard, but not the alcohol and the cigarettes, never those two. Worst comes to worst, I can just level this city, and that would double as a combat effectiveness test of the fungus. Now I'm considering just doing it, but I control myself, patience brought me to the end of the world before, and I'm sure it can bring me there again.

"Correct, she's my little sister. My parents adopted her before their passing, and since Alice is such a nice girl, I'm taking care of her, and teaching her the ropes of my profession."

The man looked at Alice with some respect.

"So the little lady is a doctor in the making? I sure hope she likes our city, we could always use some of these around Lappeenranta."

"We'll see, my friend, we'll see. Well, I believe it's time we leave, could you recommend any inns?"

"I would recommend the one just down this road, the food is pretty good, can't say anything about the rooms, though."

"Right, right. Thank you for the hospitality."

The man nodded, and I started going down the road again, bringing the bags with me.

"Why did you want that carcass?"

"You heard me telling the man why."

"But that wasn't all, was it?"

"Indeed it was not. Their skin can be used to make waterproof equipment, their fur is nice, and I can make oil from their blubber."

"Only that?"

"Basically."

The girl looked at me with scrutinizing eyes.

"I have literally no reason to lie to you."

"Right. So, what will we do now?"

"I've got what I wanted already. We can go back now if you want, but I expected you to be much more enthusiastic about exploring this city."

"I'd rather be hunting."

"That'd be worrying if I didn't teach you to be like that. Alright, we're going back then."

We started walking back to the forest. It would seem peculiar that a stranger just passed through the city, but, to be honest, I don't care that much, I just came here because I thought Alice would like it, the seal was just a little fact I remembered when I saw it. I picked up the little girl, and we went back home. During the travel, I noted that the fungus underground seemed to be shifting slowly, the nature of this shift was strange, and I needed to examine it more in-depth to really understand what was happening. When we arrived there, I decided to ask Alice something.

"Why did you call yourself my little sister?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me."

"Are you mad that I almost broke our disguise?"

"No, it was not that much of a high-stakes conversation. I'm mostly just asking out of curiosity."

"It doesn't feel right."

"I would say I get it, but since I have a troubled relationship with my parents, I really don't. But I understand what you're saying."

"Was that all?"

"Yeah. I'm going to the lab, take care out there."

"I know you'll be looking out for me."

She left. It is still a strange feeling for me, I only had superficial relationships before, at least on my part, and this is the first time I feel that someone trusts the real me, not one of my masks. No, that is incorrect. This still is a mask, I'm pretty sure that there's no "real me" anymore, hell took that away. I've yet to deal with this kind of "non-belonging" feeling, but something in the back of my mind that dealing with this will be not that easy. The feeling in the back of my head is another thing I need to look into, the more I make the fungus learn, the more this kind of "voice" gets louder, but, strangely enough, it doesn't "sound" like the fungus, it sounds familiar. My current theory is that my old age has started showing and that I'm developing some kind of strange schizophrenia, which isn't really a good signal. Another leading theory I have is that it is something completely unrelated to my physical age, and more related to the "non-belonging" feeling, which means that I most probably have no way of dealing with it other than learning to live with it. To be quite sincere, I dislike the implications of both theories since the former means that I'm probably starting to grow senile, and the latter that there are some kind of unknown symptoms that are not physically happening to me right now, which implies that I have some kind of fuck-all spiritual disease.

I went to the lab since it's best to be working on curing the possible disease I know I can cure right now than to be simply thinking about all the ways I'm probably fucked. Last night, I'd started to work on the "perfect" garden and found out that botany was harder than one would think, I had the symbiotical relationship the fungus had with the trees as a basis of how this could work, and I inadvertently managed to make that symbiosis even better since while testing with it, I made the fungus provide more than simple minerals to the plants, but the correct amount of water, and some simple proteins. The trees in the area may see an increase in size and lushness, and now I just need to replicate that effect in my little plants, but the number of adjustments in the quantities of each one of the minerals and water, and the production of specific proteins, is quite significant, so it's going to be very time-consuming, and time seems to be something that I'm possibly running of, if my biological age is catching up, then it means that I'll soon find myself unable of working on anything at all.

I connected to the heart and noticed that the fungus had processed the information, and was now thinking in full sentences, seemingly repeating to itself certain processes, not only that, I'd never seen such an amount of activity from the fungus itself, I'd noticed the slight shifting before, but now I understood what was happening. I believe I haven't explained before, but the fungus is divided in a similar way to the human nervous system, in that the central part processes information and the peripheral system acts accordingly to what the brain processes, but in this shifting, the fungus was making itself work in its entirety as a giant brain, which I hadn't thought possible before, I had yet to understand how the information processing part of the fungus worked, but I guess it wasn't really a problem for the organism itself. I could see that the organization of the fungus was changing as well, but I could not pinpoint what exactly was the intent behind this shift, it seemed like the idea of specialization still was there, since the layers still existed, even if they were currently being merged and more connected.

I decided that the only way I could understand was by listening to the thoughts of the fungus itself, and I realized what it was doing. It thought, in a mix of multiple languages.

(Speculated evolution of the organism is currently being achieved. Via analysis of the systems provided by the central host, specialization of our cells in a layered format has commenced. Sublayer closest to the surface schematized to have a hardened shell designed out of the processing of spider cuticles, utilizing techniques learned by us after consuming the central host's outer casing, in combination with a crystallized version of ourselves. Sublayer directly below is responsible for utilizing hydraulic pressure to send spikes, made out of the material previously described, at high kinetic forces, in order to allow retribution against possible hostilities against both us and the host. Last sublayer is comprised of tactile receptor cells, engineered through the mixing of samples acquired from the central host's body, and other samples acquired throughout our existence, current effectiveness is supposed to be thirty-five more times than before, such an increase is yet to be confirmed. Estimated time for completion of the first layer is twelve minutes. Shutting out main host from control over us.)

"Holy shit."

It worked. It fucking worked. I'm going to be honest, I'd started to believe that the fungus would need my whole brain to be translated before any kind of real advancement, but to see this, a biological self-upgrade, I'm truly impressed. It seems the fungus is simply repeating this until the creation of the first layer is ended, on another note, there doesn't seem to be any sign of trash data, even if I found it interesting that the fungus decided to give itself means of hunting, or as it said, protect itself and me. I found the use of the term "central host" strange, but I guess Bea could be considered another host, maybe the other humans were hosts as well? If that's the case, it could mean that the fungus can possibly control the infected cells in some way. This could be useful to look into, but I should focus on the things at hand. I waited for the fungus to complete the first layer.

I was bombarded with a sudden influx of information, and it took some time to adjust. After the completion of the first layer, it seems that layer finally started being used as a brain for the fungus as well, which meant a big increase in the processing speed, which is currently the thing I need the most, and the new receptor cells allowed me such an accurate understanding of the forest it was overwhelming. I started listening to the fungus once again.

(First layer completed. Effectiveness of engineered tactile receptor cells confirmed to be less than predicted, reevaluation and redesign will be necessary. Commencing the construction of the second layer. The first sublayer is composed of microtubes designed to bring the plants nutrients and water. The second sublayer is designed to create and maintain an ideal ambient where bacteria and other microorganisms can live and provide certain products to both us and the plants which we are in a symbiotic relationship with. The third sublayer is designed as an overseer which will monitor both other sublayers, doubling as an alarm for the main brain, this will be our first use of parallel processing, estimated success of sixty percent. Estimated time of completion for the second layer is thirty-four minutes.)

The fungus continued repeating this, minus the three first sentences. I'm not sure if the fungus did this layer because I was thinking about this while the translation occurred, if that is the case, this is proof that trash data is translated, and is not filtered. It could just as well be that the fungus understands that the symbiotic relationship it has with the forest is very important for its own maintenance. Both theories are not exclusive to each other, but I'm very interested to know if the first one truly is the case, since I still can't assess how much damage the trash data could generate. I've already decided to not translate my full brain, only doing at most what I did with my microbiology knowledge. Still, if this second layer's automated systems work, it could mean that the fungus is creating my perfect garden, which would save me some time.

While the fungus worked on the second layer, I was currently running some calculations to see if I could possibly speak to the fungus directly through electric currents, after the first layer was completed, I managed to finally reach a relation between information and voltage. I'd already experimentally assessed the resistance of the fungus, and the current version of the engraver can use much more controlled shocks, the only possible problem is that the fungus could see me as hostile and impale me with one of those brand new spikes, so it would be best to not try this while I have no control over the fungus. I decided that waiting for the fungus to finish was the best idea, so I sat back and started smoking.

I felt the influx of information once again, it seemed like nothing had gone wrong.

(Second layer completed. Creation of the third sublayer has gone smoothly, parallel processing seems to be fully functional, still unable to assess effectiveness of monitoring. Commencing construction of the third layer. The six sublayers are copies of each other, each one acting as a secondary processor, after extrapolation of the results of the second layer's third sublayer, the estimated percentile increase of three hundred and sixty percent in processing speed, as well as capabilities of multitasking. Estimated time of completion for the third layer is fifty-two minutes.)

This looks like the last layer, the estimated time shows that creating those secondary processors is much more complex than anything else, most probably the reason the second layer took that long was because of their creation. The processing speed had increased once again, I couldn't really pinpoint how big was the increase from before to now, but if this last layer is successful, and with the help of the fungus, hybridization will hopefully not be too far in the future. I decided to utilize my better processing speed to redo the calculations, which proved to be a good choice since It allowed me to get a much more precise approximation of what voltage I would need to use, with that out of the way, I waited once again.

With the fifty-two minutes done, I felt the speed of my own thoughts getting exponentially faster, and I listened as the fungus assessed the upgrade.

(Third layer completed. Increase in processing speed is approximately eight-hundred twenty-four percent, better than estimated. Parallel processing is active, we found it more logical to not allow access to the central host, we have assessed dangers of possible overheating of his brain and overexposure, since the host already has parallel processing capacity, using ours would be redundant. Overall, this evolution has been found successful, but we can still do better. Relinquishing control over us to the central host.)

Eight times better, then, that explains why it was such a noticeable change. It's a shame I can't access the secondary processors, but since the fungus said it could be harmful to me, and I have no evidence to disprove that, I'll accept it. I made the fungus process the seal carcass, and after that, I once again checked my calculations, and finding nothing wrong, I decided that the only way to be sure was by testing. I picked the engraver up and started adjusting it, after that was done, I attached it to my arm and put it on the heart. I sent it a simple hello.

(Anomalous thought detected. Analizing.)

After what felt like less than a second.

(Host seems to have discovered a way of communication. Hello, host.)

It worked, and I don't seem to have been impaled, which is always a good thing. I sent it a question of simple math.

(twenty-two times forty-four equals nine hundred sixty-eight. We do not understand the reason behind such a question, host.)

"A simple assessment of the limits of this communication."

(We find that logical. May we know how exactly the host discovered this way of communication?)

"I'd believed you already knew."

(Incorrect, sadly.)

"It's simple, if thought is an electrical current, then shouldn't it be possible to simulate thoughts through electric systems?"

(We understand. Would it be correct to affirm that it was the host that gave us our current knowledge?)

"That would be correct, yes."

(We thank you. Without this knowledge, it would have been a much lengthier process before we reached a state equivalent to the one we are currently in.)

"Talking about information, what exactly did you receive?"

The fungus sent a shock through me, showing me exactly the information it had received. I guess it learns really fast. I finally got confirmation that there was trash data, but it was nothing too bad, just some passing thoughts. I realize that I making a big deal out of this, but for that to really be a problem, a full scan of my brain would needed.

(What did the host discover? Is there something incorrect within the data?)

"Nothing too bad, just some theories I needed confirmation on."

(Understood. Is there something we should worry about, host?)

"Not necessarily, no. I wanted to ask, did you analyze the subhearts project?"

(Subhearts?)

"The smaller cores, you could say."

(Yes, we did. The secondary processors are working on it now, any kind of idea?)

"All my ideas are in what you're currently analyzing."

(We have found some problems within the design, but the idea itself is satisfactory. Does the host have any more projects or ideas of the like?)

"About that, I'm afraid that it is possible I may die soon, so I-"

(What? Unacceptable.)

"I'm sorry?"

(The host cannot die, we will not allow it.)

Strange. Maybe the trash data was more impactful than I believed it was. Our relationship isn't exactly symbiotic, and it isn't normal for what is basically an animal to care about things that won't matter to itself. Maybe the fungus developed, or is developing a conscience, no, no, it's too soon to assume that.

(The host is important to us, we will keep the host alive.)

"Why?"

(We do not understand the question, host.)

"Why am I important to you?"

(Because the host is important, and we will not let you die, not while we live.)

Very strange indeed. This requires scrutinizing.

"Describe what you're feeling."

(That does not matter now, host. We must keep you alive, tell us the problem.)

Did it, just, deflect the statement?

"Okay then. I believe that I may die of old age."

(We believe that knowledge is not accessible to us, host. Could the host possibly give us that information, as done before?)

Normally, this would be a dilemma since I believe the trash data is giving the fungus a conscience, but at the same time, if I don't give it that information, it won't be able to help me. I started readjusting the engraver, doing the calculation on how much voltage would be needed for this amount of knowledge. I used the equation, or at least something of a prototype of an equation, that related the amount of information to the voltage, I'm pretty sure it only works in this very specific case, but it is still handy. After checking and rechecking the computation, I was pretty sure. I finished readjusting the engraver and sent the current through the brain. It worked on the first try. I sent the information to the fungus, readjusted the engraver to "speaking mode" and connected it to the heart once again.

"Did you receive the information?"

(It's being processed right now, host.)

"Good. Estimated time?"

(We believe right about now, host.)

I felt a jolt coming from the fungus.

(We've found nothing strange on our scans, host. We believe, however, that it would be good for the host to stop smoking.)

"I already knew there would be nothing strange in the scan, I've done that myself. About the smoking part, I won't stop."

(Could you please stop, host? It is endangering you.)

Please? It's definitely the trash data, isn't it?

"It gives me peace of mind."

(We could make you nicotine patches, host. We truly believe stopping smoking would be good for you.)

"It wouldn't, because I'd go even more insane."

(Insanity? The scan shows normal brain activity, at least from what we know.)

"I'm talking to a gigantic, basically magic mushroom, in a damp cave, and I can see through the eyes of an arctic fox. If I wasn't insane, I would be somewhere in that village, making a little house for myself and living off from fishing."

(We could make the cave more comfortable if you want. If you want fishing, we could make a pond right here.)

Definitely the trash data.

"That won't be necessary, thanks. Anyways, my fear of dying stems from both the fact that I am very biologically old and that I started to hear some kind of voice inside my head."

(Wouldn't that be us?)

"No, it isn't you, it "sounds" different, more familiar, you could say."

(We're pretty familiar to the host.)

"No, you're not."

(Sad.)

Okay, I'm pretty sure this thing is developing a conscience right as we speak.

(Our scans show that there seems to be nothing wrong with your body. However, we believe that making yourself more similar, or part of us. could help with possible death.)

And then it goes right back to robotic talk.

"I won't become part of you. But about the becoming more similar part, what would that entail?"

(Trans-splicing.)

"That would require an ungodly amount of work."

(We can do it.)

"Any idea of how much time it would take."

(We would need time to analyze the samples of the host's cells, map the host's and our genome, and then process which combinations would generate the best being possible.)

"Any kind of estimated time for that part of the process?"

(Without the host's help, nine months, with it, six or seven.)

"And what about the splicing and the replication itself?"

(Without the host's help, twelve years, with it, nine or ten.)

"I can't be sure I'll be alive until then."

(It is possible we could replace parts of the host, like the host's brain, during the process itself. It wouldn't be that hard to keep the host alive.)

"Well, I have no other choices."