Forgotte... how many times now? But... let's talk about nuts.

Anyways I first thought that...

I don't know if I should even bring it up. I have already talk about it actually.

But boredom is quite literally the worst part of being alive. Especially if you have to go through it constantly.

Yesterday (technically the day before yesterday), or well, the last day of May, I finished The Divine Throne of the Primordial Blood. I also started and finished Wish of the Dragon.

Today I finally picked up and even somehow finished Noble Life in Akame ga Kill.

I feel empty once again. Even though there are a lot of novels in my library, waiting for me to read, I just can't pick them up.

And usually when I'm down like this, I just beat some meat. Maybe 4 nuts a day, if not more. Maybe I shouldn't keep this in?

Who cares?

But lately I don't even feel like doing that.

But I don't feel like playing games, watch anime or videos or streams, nor reading novels or manga/manhwa/manhua. Nor do I want to just sleep or lay in bed all day.

Going outside? Nothing to do there.

Maybe working out a bit? Well... I can but without any pressure, I'm not capable of doing it every day, much less all day.

I must admit, I've had suicidal thoughts. Not only recently but for a long time. I never entertained these thoughts for log though. Simply because I feel like if I go through with them, I'm going to miss out on a lot of things.

Are those things good or not is irrelevant. Anything is better than this existential boredom.

I can't seem to shake this shitty thing off of me.

ln fact, what even is boredom? Is it an emotion? If it is then what type of emotion it is?

Positive? No.

Negative? Also no.

Neutral? Doesn't seem to fit the bill.

But if it's not an emotion, then what is it? A state of being?

I... don't know...

I just want it to release me.