Part One - Third Year - Chapter [002.5]

[TW - Mental Health / Coming Out]1

One day I decided to just tell them about me being liking boys - I made it a whole thing, sat them down and everything. 

We were in our living room, adorned with gold trinkets and a carpet imported from Saudi Arabia that cost more than my tuition. 

"So what's this whole thing you have to talk to us about?!" My dad had this sort of New Yorker accent mixed with Texan folk speak. 

I took a deep breath and just said it. 

"Mom… Dad …. I'm gay." 

There I said it.

Even though I was only 15 at the time, I was pretty sure. T

hose Men's Health magazines made me harder than the edge of a rock. 

I could see their faces change, from sad to disappointed. 

My dad scratched the back of his head and made a grunting noise like it was inconvenient what I was saying. 

There was a long uncomfortable silence between us.

"So what drugs are you using?" asked my mother without a second thought.

"Coke, MMDB, AGHB, Mushrooms?!" her tone was almost despicable.

My silence and stun-ness made her keep going. 

"HERO! Are you snorting glue?! Oh, you're using Keti! Huh?! You high on some kind of Methamphetamine!?"

She stood up and started pacing. 

"What?! Is our kid using, already?!" She shouted making a scene, 

"I mean I wasn't expecting' it until he got a little bit older - ah dammit, is this because we gave a no-limit debit card? Honey did we do wrong?" my dad spoke, oblivious to the fact I just said something completely different. 

Where was this coming from? 

"Here's what we're going to do," she started, suddenly looking at me.

This is the only thing she was good at, making plans.

"We're gonna call Valhalla U, say we're going to the Netherlands for 6 months, we put him in rehab and get all the drugs off his system, have people monitor him," she trailed off and started making a list of things she needed to do.

Talking about me like I wasn't in the room.

My dad just agreed with her. 

"You're right honey, whatever you say," he didn't have a single brave bone in his body. My dad already had pulled out his iPhone and was playing a game on it.

My mother was the one in control.

That's been true for most of my life. 

She started dialing the school number. 

"STOP!" I shouted.

They both froze and looked at me. 

"I'm just... gay … There's no drugs, I don't even smoke w33d," I said calming the situation.

Our butlers and maidens had heard all of this. 

I actually heard a sigh of relief from the other side of the room.

My mom relaxed, and my dad looked confused. 

"Oh, is that so?" she looked at me like I wasn't her child. 

"Well, what a relief!" she said with a chuckle, and plopped herself back on the really expensive sofa. 

My dad let out a nervous laugh. 

"That place down at the Little Center on San Pedro; is just honestly the worst," she smirked with her face. 

"We wouldn't dare put you in there anyway," she spoke with a grand voice. 

"You would have to go live with your Auntie in Austin; Drab of a place if you ask me," 

"So we all good then?!" my dad said. 

"Oh yes! Carlos, Lucia!" she demanded. 

"Yes Madam!" they both appeared almost like they were quantum jumping. 

"Have Aiden eat something, poor thing looks like it needs some meat in his bones," she said squeezing my face. Like she actually meant some type affection - but her touch was cold.

My dad was already leaving, on a call with some broker or something, a cigar in his hand, already lit.

"Anyway I'm off to the spa with Clara and the girls, don't wait up for me," and with that, she grabbed her purse and headed for the exit.

However she stopped - and looked back at me - her expression read disgust.

"Oh and the gay thing - honey - i seriously don't care - Auntie had a harem of both around us all the time, it's seriously not a big deal, you're not special," she said like it meant some type of affection. Like she meant it as genuine advice. But it just came out cold and heartless.

Auntie is her own mother.

Once again I was left alone, I felt like I wanted to cry. 

Somehow, they had managed to make my coming out - about them. 

"Master Aiden, please come to the kitchen, we'll have the chef cook you something up,"

Lucia was nice, she had never taken anything from the house, and her cooking was delicious.

Carlos was sometimes nice enough to play B-Ball with me in our garage.

He wasn't exactly good - I had to go easy on him.

I couldn't even get a proper workout before he started wheezing.

But I appreciated the effort.

We didn't have any pets.

My mother hated them.

Every single animal - she hated. 

Until I adopted our cat of course. Most of the time she lived in my room - which was pretty specious. And Lucia let her go in the backyard but kept hidden from my mother. My cat knew better than to get in her way.

"It's fine, I'll get Starbucks and a sandwich," 

"Are you sure Master Aiden, you need to eat something proper, please!" said Carlos trying to match my gaze that was pointed at the floor.

My whole body was defeated and I felt exhausted. 

I needed a cheer me up.

Besides coffee shops were my favorite escape. 

I grabbed my keys and my laptop, got in my car, and headed to the coffee shop, I proceeded to do school work, and then watch YouTube videos until closing time. 

When I got home, not a single soul cared for my arrival.

My parents seemingly already had gotten over this morning's discussion.

Our Butlers and Maidens were dismissed after 3 PM.

And were not allowed to stay a single minute more.

And just like any other problem in our household - it was buried under the rug, to be stomped with measles distractions, like skin care, vanity, or sports.

I just headed to my room - put on some video game and mindlessly tried to escape into the pixelated worlds. My cat cuddling in my lap

Tears ran down my face - but my brain was distracted by the shiny outside beach corridors and turn based battles.

Eventually my body caved and my eyes wanted to close but the tears didn't stop.

I saw a pocket knife my dad had gifted me on my 13th birthday.

It's blade enticing.

Eventually the soothing field music made me be able to sleep, my cat never left my side.

The console remained on, the characters animating back and forth in idle positions.

I hated my life.