The Sunday before the start of exams, Amane was studying quietly in his own room.
He wanted to get high marks, but there was also another reason he was studying—he
was trying to drive thoughts of Mahiru out of his head.
"…I'm going to spoil you as much as I like, so just relax and enjoy it, okay?"
Mahiru had whispered those unbelievable words with a devilish smile, and now
thoughts of her threatened to fill his head, leaving room for nothing else.
Amane didn't know whether Mahiru's recent suggestive behavior toward him was
intentional, but it was certainly effective. He appreciated it, but at the same time, it
made him nervous.
Until he was sure of Mahiru's intentions, he couldn't really make a move.
All sorts of questions troubled him, so to drive them all away, he'd been studying
furiously since early morning. His efforts were at least somewhat successful, because
he'd gotten so caught up in the work that by the time he realized, it was past two in
the afternoon.
The fact that he had worked straight through without eating lunch was proof of how
focused he had been, but now that he had noticed the time and checked the clock, his
stomach immediately growled with hunger.
"…I guess I should at least eat lunch."
Amane stretched out to relieve some of the stiffness that had built up after sitting in
one place for so long. Then he stood up and left his room.
Mahiru had said she would be home alone studying for exams that day, and she hadn't
come over to Amane's. That meant Amane would have to fix lunch on his own.
Thinking about how he'd been spoiled with good food since meeting Mahiru, he
headed for the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.
He put a frozen portion of rice that had been set aside for quick use into the
microwave, and while it was thawing, he took a bowl and scooped out several types of
the preserved vegetables that Mahiru had prepared ahead of time, guaranteeing some
color and nutrients for his meal.
All of this is Mahiru's doing.
If it had been just Amane, he wouldn't have prepared any vegetables. His lunch
would've come from the convenience store.
Now he had a fair amount of food in the house, and he also knew how to make some
things himself. They weren't on the same level as Mahiru's cooking, which was always
delicious, lovely to look at, and nutritious to boot. Still, he had learned to make some
edible dishes.
Using what he'd learned from Mahiru, Amane made a simple fried rice for lunch with
just eggs and bacon. But the meal turned out to be plenty colorful thanks to the side
dishes Mahiru had prepared.
With the addition of instant Chinese-style soup, it was a perfectly satisfactory menu
for an easy lunch.
He loaded it all on a tray and carried it over to the dining table.
"Let's eat."
He smiled softly as he looked down at a weekend lunch that he previously would have
had trouble imagining. Then he pressed his hands together in thanks and picked up
his spoon.
The fried rice that he brought to his mouth had a somewhat strong flavor, different
from Mahiru's, but it wasn't bad. It turned out to be well seasoned for something
prepared by a high school boy.
It's really different, huh?
Amane's eating habits had completely changed, and so had various other things about
him. In all sorts of ways, he had become completely spoiled.
He wondered if he was becoming a better person in his daily life. After experiencing
life with Mahiru, Amane didn't want to return to his previous existence—now that he
knew life could be this good, he didn't want to go back. He had become really spoiled,
in the sense that he felt he would never be satisfied if Mahiru left.
He wasn't only pampered in all practical aspects of life; he was spoiled emotionally as
well.
Amane remembered something he had heard before from his father, Shuuto.
Apparently, the Fujimiya men were the earnestly devoted type. The type who falls in
love with only one person and then treasures them.
Amane did not have to think about whether he too had inherited those tendencies.
Ever since he had become aware that he was in love with Mahiru, he paid even less
attention to other girls. The most important thing was that he wanted to treasure
Mahiru and make her happy.
…I won't settle for anyone but Mahiru.
Whether he was the one to bring her joy or not, as long as Mahiru was happy, he
decided he would back off right away if she fell for someone else and chose that person
instead. He told himself that seeing Mahiru smiling joyfully was enough.
However, he also had contradictory feelings. He really wanted to be the one to make
her happy, and he definitely didn't want to give her away. He didn't want to be apart
from Mahiru, and he liked being the only one who really knew her.
Some people would probably call what he was feeling an obsession—his heart was
full of emotions that he could not explain to anyone else, like the feeling that he just
couldn't live without Mahiru.
She wasn't just a pretty face; she had a pure heart as well. Amane had frankly been
manipulated by the deep, strong feeling of love that was in his heart.
"…I wouldn't have so much trouble if I was more assertive."
Amane laughed a little. The words that he had muttered out loud naturally had a selfdeprecating ring to them.
For the first time in his sixteen years of life, he was in love with someone, and he
wanted to be the one by her side, but he had no idea how to make that happen.
Anyone else would probably have laughed, if they knew that he had made it to sixteen
without experiencing his first love.
He was aware that he had a craven and cautious nature, and that he didn't know the
first thing about approaching girls. He believed that these qualities had helped earn
Mahiru's trust, and that they weren't things that he could change easily. But he had
always wished that he could be more assertive.
That was exactly why he was working so hard at his studies and making an effort to
exercise. He was trying to gain some self-confidence.
With a quiet, bitter smile, Amane scarfed down the rest of the fried rice.
Amane took a short break after eating to limber up his stiff muscles with some more
stretching, and while he was at it, he decided to do some light exercise to relax. He
changed into running clothes in his room.
He had been sitting at his desk for a while, so he figured a bit of physical activity would
be a good change of pace.
Still, he didn't have that much stamina. He would need to reserve some energy for
studying more later. He was sure that he would sleep like a log that night.
Reminding himself to be careful not to overdo it, Amane stepped through the door, and
happened to meet Mahiru just as she was walking out of her own apartment.
"Ah, Amane… Going to exercise?"
She could clearly tell by his outfit. She gave him a charming smile, and he nodded in
response. Mahiru was dressed like she was going out, so Amane figured he must have
caught her just as she was leaving.
For a second, he remembered what had happened the day before and almost groaned
out loud, but he had calmed down a little since then, so he didn't get flustered from
just seeing her.
"Yeah, I need a break," he replied. "You too? Looks like you're going shopping."
"Yes. Speaking of which, I remember being low on eggs. I thought I'd make rolled
omelets for dinner tonight. We've got exams tomorrow, and if I leave some for
breakfast, they might help you do your best…"
"Seriously? Suddenly I feel a surge of energy!"
"I'm doing it for my sake, too, you know." Mahiru put a hand over her mouth and
giggled a little.
Amane answered, frowning slightly, "I can't help myself; you make the best omelets."
This brought the conversation to a pause, but both knew that Amane wasn't actually
upset. Through the gaps in Mahiru's fingers, he could see her smile widen.
"Ah, that's right, I used the last egg and also some bacon earlier. And I ate one of the
frozen portions of rice."
"Oh, you made your own lunch?" Mahiru remarked. "Impressive."
"…I feel like you're making fun of me. I believe I do cook occasionally even when you're
over."
Naturally, Amane felt bad about leaving all the cooking to Mahiru, so he usually tried
to help her with simple tasks, and on days when Mahiru seemed to be tired or feeling
down, he would take over and make the meals.
There were limits to what he could make, so sometimes the menu deviated
considerably from what they had planned on. Disregarding the presentation and
accepting that the flavor would be inferior to Mahiru's food, Amane was capable of
cooking a passable meal.
So there was no reason for her to praise him like that just because he had made lunch.
"I know that, but you hardly ever do it when you're home alone, right? You tend to
choose instant meals when you're by yourself, because cooking is a pain and you're
fine with something easy."
"Uh—"
"Guessing from the ingredients and from your repertoire, I bet you made fried rice or
something like that. It sounds like you did a good job, so that's great."
Amane was at a loss for words. She saw right through him. He thought he could feel
his blood begin to boil.
Mahiru broke the tension when she laughed out loud and extended a hand toward
Amane. She gently combed her fingers through his hair, fluffing it up as she hit him
with a charming smile.
Amane pursed his lips tightly. He didn't hate the feeling; rather, it made him happy. He
really had become spoiled.
"…Knock it off already, geez."
"Aw, too bad. I wanted to do it more."
As she said that, Mahiru readily pulled away and smiled gently.
It occurred to Amane that his serious expression was only making things worse, and
he turned away from her.
"…Are eggs the only thing you're buying?"
He changed the subject so that Mahiru couldn't pet him anymore.
"Let's see, there are other ingredients I need for dinner, like the eggs… and milk, but
that should do it, I think. I was planning to make a quick trip, so I figured I'd just go to
the closest grocery store."
"Got it. I can pick all that up on my way back home."
Amane wouldn't have said anything if Mahiru had other errands or shopping to do
besides for groceries, things he couldn't do in her stead. But if she didn't have anything
else to go out for, there was no reason for her to spend the extra time and effort.
Amane was going outside anyway, so it would be better to have her stay home and do
something else she wanted to do. She spent time every night making him dinner, so he
figured he should at least do this much.
"Huh? But then you'll have to carry it all."
"It's fine, I'll go shopping on my way back. And it's not like the grocery store is that far."
"Wh-what about money?"
"I've got my cash card with me. And I've already checked the balance. I can get a receipt
from the supermarket, so there won't be any problem with splitting the bill or
anything."
Amane cocked his head as to ask if there was anything else, and this time, Mahiru
fumbled over her words.
"…Sorry to make you do this."
"I told you, it's fine; I'm going out anyway."
Amane ruffled Mahiru's hair in retaliation, and she looked at him with narrowed eyes
as if he was tickling her. Something in her expression looked genuinely happy, and
Amane was quietly relieved that he hadn't committed some grave mistake.
"…All right, I'll leave it to you. I'll be waiting at home."
"Whose home?"
"I wonder?"
Mahiru tilted her head slightly to the side, looking bashful. Then without missing a
beat, she opened the door to Amane's apartment, using the spare key that she had
been holding already, and slipped in smoothly through the crack.
Having made her answer obvious, Mahiru peeked back out through the door and
smiled at Amane.
"See you when you get back, Amane."
"…I'm going now," he replied, feeling amused by Mahiru, who no longer seemed to care
whose apartment was whose.
Mahiru's smile grew wider as she waved good-bye to Amane.
After warming up with some light stretching, Amane went for an easy jog that lasted
a little less than an hour, and then made a trip to the supermarket as part of his
cooldown before returning home.
Since he was jogging, he was able to relax and exercise without overthinking, and his
mind quieted a little bit. For now, things seemed to have settled down without him
having to respond to all of Mahiru's provocations, so he returned home feeling
relieved. With the quiet shuffling of her house slippers, Mahiru came to greet him at
the door.
"Welcome home. I went ahead and filled the bath with hot water. Want to get in?"
She casually took the shopping bags out of his hands, and he found himself gaping at
her.
Itsuki and Yuuta had both said that she acted exactly like a newlywed wife, and she
really did. Mahiru herself probably didn't intend it that way, but her movements were
brisk and efficient, and somebody who didn't know better might have made that
assumption. Amane felt strangely embarrassed by the thought.
"…Amane?"
"Ah, it's nothing. Thank you, I will go take a bath."
He smiled vaguely in response to the strange look from Mahiru, rinsed his hands at
the sink, then headed for his room to get ready for the bath.
He pulled out his usual loungewear, and then went into the bathroom, where, as
Mahiru had said, the bathtub was full of piping hot water and set to the perfect
temperature.
After saying a silent thanks to Mahiru for being so prepared and generally being there
for him, he showered off the sweat from his run.
Amane was self-indulgent and lazy at heart, but that didn't mean he was okay with
being dirty. He was someone who enjoyed a good bath.
When he submerged himself in the bathtub after properly washing the filth off his
body and hair, it felt like all the fatigue in his mind and body melted away. He realized
that he was pretty worn out as the exhaustion seemed to dissolve in the hot water.
As he soaked in the bathwater that was just the right temperature, Amane leaned back
against the side of the tub and exhaled.
Then he looked down at his body through the clear water—he hadn't added bath salts
or anything to it—and his exhale turned into a sigh.
"…Still got a lot of work to do, huh?"
It hadn't been very long since he'd started really exercising, so it was to be expected.
Amane had very little muscle on his body because he had never trained and ate
properly. He was extremely thin, a far cry from his image of masculinity. The words
bean sprout came immediately to mind.
Amane wanted to get a little stronger and improve his looks while he was at it. Some
of his classmates had seen him in his "mystery man" form before, so he couldn't
heedlessly assume that look without attracting suspicion, but he knew that he could
be more diligent with his skin care and grooming.
He admired Mahiru, who was never negligent in her daily self-care. He was sure that
she must put in a lot of work that he wasn't even aware of.
As he thought about all these things, Amane felt a considerable drowsiness creep over
him, probably from the comfortable warmth of the water and his own fatigue. He let
out another deep sigh as he began dozing off in the tub.
Eventually, Mahiru, concerned that he was taking too long in the bath, ended up
waking him in a panic when she opened the bathroom door to check on him.
"Um, you know… it's dangerous to stay in too long, okay?"
"I'm really sorry for being so careless."
All Amane could do was apologize earnestly. He wasn't sure whether Mahiru's flushed
cheeks were due to anger or embarrassment from glimpsing his top half in the bath—
he imagined it was at least partially from worry.
He had heard that people had drowned in as little as thirty centimeters of water, so
Mahiru's anger seemed justified. Amane imagined that she was all the more anxious
because she herself couldn't swim.
He tried to come up with some excuse, but his mind was in a fog.
He hadn't been completely asleep; really it was more like his consciousness was
dipping a toe into the ocean of slumber. He was confident that he would have woken
up without a problem if he had lost his balance and bumped into the side of the tub.
"…Why are you pushing yourself so hard?"
Amane felt instantly remorseful when he heard the suspicion in Mahiru's words. He
could tell that he'd messed up when he heard the anxiety in her voice, which made it
clear that he'd given her cause for stress.
"I won't deny the value of hard work," Mahiru continued, "but if you can't handle it all,
shouldn't you ease up a little?"
"You're right, of course. I'll be more careful next time."
"But why are you doing all this, Amane?" she asked again.
"…I guess… because I want to become someone I can be proud of."
Even though she sounded a little angry, Mahiru looked mostly sad. Amane smiled
meekly and stroked her head to try to wipe away the anxious look in her eyes, while
vowing not to make such a mistake again.
"I've been thinking I wanna be more confident in myself, is all. And I wanted to start
with things like my studies and exercise. I didn't mean to worry you; this was really all
my fault. Next time, I'll keep in mind how much I can handle."
"…Are you in that big of a hurry?"
"I guess there's probably no rush, but I want to work harder… To make myself into
someone I can be confident in. After all, I'm working hard for my own sake," Amane
told her with a smile as he rubbed her head.
Mahiru stared hard into Amane's eyes, then sighed. "…I understand your determination.
That said, I'm serious: If you don't take better care of yourself, I'm going to get really
worried, okay?"
"I said I was sorry."
"But I think you really shine when you try so hard, and I don't want to get in the way
of your progress. I've been watching you but trying not to get in your way."
"If anything, you're the one keeping me going," he insisted. "Taking care of meals is
really a huge help. I can't manage that as well as you can, after all."
"You're the one putting in all the effort, so it would be more accurate to say that it's all
I can do to help… Do your best, but don't push yourself too hard, okay?"
"I'll try not to make you worry again."
No doubt, he would be careful not to fall asleep in the bath again. He had no desire to
learn what drowning felt like.
Amane also didn't want to make Mahiru fret and cry, so he decided to take better care
of his physical health and not overexert himself.
Mahiru still looked a little skeptical, so he continued to try to reassure her by gently
stroking her hair.