Chapter 16: The danger within (2)

I find that in the cases where people have been abandoned and abandoned over again, fears of being abandoned may arise in certain people coupled with a crippling sense of self-doubt. Now, if this is not treated in time, it can result in one or two lasting effects in which the human mind will evolve. In both cases, the person does not want to be left alone again. In the first scenario, the person starts to develop a sense of inferiority, associating their experiences with abandonment with their problems, and thus develop a sort of urgency or demand to put up a likeable facade. These people constitute a small percentage of the so-dubbed "nice guys", who intentionally alter their personalities, speech, and behaviour to be as nice and easy to get along with as possible, all because of the fear that showing their true selves will result in people shying away from then. Well, this may sound bad, which indeed it is, but it pales in comparison to the second scenario. 

In the second scenario, the person may pin the blame on themselves but also may pin the blame for being abandoned on others. However, regardless of who they "fault", it cannot justify the horrible ways they prevent themselves from being abandoned again. This person will try to forcibly persuade others to never leave their side, through physical or emotional means. For example, one such person may gaslight or lovebomb a partner, creating a sort of emotional dependence on themselves, to ensure or increase the probability of the partner staying by their side. Or as in the case we are about to see now, well, I guess it's better to let you see for yourself. 

Ruby's pov

"Sensei? Where are you?!" I called out, my heart pounding so violently against my chest I would have thought the two were mortal enemies. 

'Could he have left? But it's so early in the morning, the sun hasn't even risen yet, where could he have gone? Don't tell me ... No, it can't be true. '

'Oh yes it very well can, he left you behind, to be like a piece of trash blown away in the wind.' My inner fears snarled. 

Right at that moment, I heard a click of a door opening. Turning my head, I saw the bathroom door swing open. 

'Sensei?!' I thought excitedly as I ran towards it. 

However, in my reckless charge, my right shoulder collided with the edge of the door, causing it to swing forward, which set off a chain of events. 

The first thing that I felt was the extreme soreness in my right shoulder from hitting the door too hard. 

"Ow!" I winced as my left hand instinctually went to my right shoulder to massage it. 

When I looked up, I saw the door halfway open, tilted at a 55-degree angle, and at the foot of it, lay a body, a body I unmistakably recognised as Sensei. 

"Sensei!" I screamed out in shock and worry, as I rushed to tend to the unconscious man. 

Shaking him with all my might, I could not get his eyes to open, not even make a flutter. 

"Where did the door hit him?" 

Gently turning his head to the side, I saw a spot on his head which was red but with no sign of blood in the vicinity. 

'Thank god there's no blood. But still, the blunt force trauma could cause permanent brain damage, what should I do?' 

As I racked my brain for ways out of this mess which I put myself in, a voice once again whispered from the back of my mind. 

"This is your chance, you can tie him up now, he's yours!" The voice whispered, tempting me to stand up and go search for rope. 

"No, that isn't right," I argued back, sticking with my morals. 

"Do you want to be left abandoned again like the last time? Remember the pain of the extreme loneliness we felt for years on end? This is the best way to ensure our happiness," the voice persuaded, her alluring voice starting to shake my conviction. 

"No, sensei wouldn't be happy that way," I replied firmly, trying to reaffirm my stand on the matter. 

"If he truly loves you, then why wouldn't he enjoy spending every single second with nobody other than you? Unless ..." The voice questioned once more, planting seeds of doubt all over my mind. 

"yes ... you're right," I started to acquiesce to the voice's request, "This way, we can both be happy."

Giving in, I picked Aqua up and with great effort, carried him to one of the chairs at the dining table, where he sat slouched and unmoving. Then, I moved to the attic, where all the hardware items were stored. 

Searching around in the darkness of the attic, I soon found a brown piece of rope hanging out of a cardboard box. 

'Perfect,' I thought to myself as I quickly snatched it up. 

Carefully making my way back down to the living room, I started wrapping the rope gently around my beloved, before tying a knot at the end, locking him in the chair. 

After that, I halted for a moment to gaze at my creation. There sat a golden-haired beauty with his head limp, not making a single sound as he was roped down to the chair. 

"Sensei ..." I cooed happily as I sat on his lap facing him, our bodies in close contact. 

Then, I lifted his head, moving my head in to bring my lips to his. 

All of a sudden, something hit me. 

"This wasn't right," I said. 

"What do you mean? This is your chance, now you can kiss him," the voice coaxed. 

"No, but I want him to kiss me," I replied. 

"Then just wait for him to get up" the voice suggested. 

"No no this isn't right," I repeated, as I started to back away, filled with guilt for what I had done. 

'First I knocked him out, and now this, no, this is wrong. I should stop.'

"Hey! Hey! This is right! You two can both be happy now, as you spend every waking moment together. ..." the voice continued. 

But I paid it no heed, as I undid the knot which bound him, causing the rope to fall away easily. Then, I grabbed him and sat him down on the couch. 

"What was I thinking?" I asked myself. 

"the right thing," the voice replied. 

"No, what I did was wrong. Sensei has his own free will, it's not love if he can't decide to do anything else," I affirmed. 

"But what if he leaves again, and doesn't come back this time," The voice asked. 

"Then that is a risk that I will have to take," I declared adamantly. 

"Then you will have to suffer the same way you did those many years before," The voice retorted. 

After she said that, I was whisked back into the past, the many nights I would cry alone at my plight, helpless and in despair.

"That won't happen," I said decisively. 

"How do you know?" The voice questioned. 

Call it pure love or just plain stupidity, but I staunchly believed that Sensei loved me dearly and would stick by his promise to never leave me. 

"This is foolishness!" The voice chided.

"Maybe so, but I prefer things this way," I announced to the world and myself, ending the debate once and for all. 

At that moment, Aqua's eyes began to flutter, as he started to groan in pain, slowly regaining his consciousness. 

Aqua's pov

"Ugh," I groaned as I awoke, my head aching like mad. 

"Sensei?" A voice called. 

Looking up, I saw Ruby standing over me with teary eyes. 

"Good morning," I joked. 

"Sensei!" She shouted excitedly as she rushed in to embrace me. 

"What ... happened?" I asked as she squeezed the air out of me. 

"I ... accidentally ... hit the door and the door hit you ... and ... and you were knocked out ... and I got really really scared," She explained while crying in joy and relief. 

"It's okay, I'm here, everything's fine," I comforted her while rubbing her head. 

But everything wasn't really so fine, my head was still buzzing with pain, and my empty stomach was grumbling. 

'Ironic isn't it, I'm the one who's injured here, but yet I am the one giving the comforting.' I laughed to myself at the weird situation I found myself in. 

"I'll go make us some breakfast," Ruby announced as she quickly got up, wiping away her tears and skipping to the kitchen. 

"There's no need for that, I can do it myself," I said while getting up painfully, as I struggled to regain my sense of direction. 

I stumbled towards the kitchen as the world around me seemed to spin in circles, everything a confusing mess. Seeing me struggling, Ruby quickly dashed over, wrapping my arm around her shoulder, and helping me to the dining table where I took a seat.

"Ugh," I moaned agonisingly, my head hurting to the point where I struggled to think. 

As I subconsciously turned my head down and started to massage my temple, I noticed a piece of rope lying on the ground around the chair.

'How peculiar,' I thought as I bent down to pick it up. 

Suddenly, the rope was snatched out of my hand. 

"There's no need to worry about that sensei, I seemed to have misplaced that when I was ... err ... cleaning the place up," Ruby said, her eyes darting from side to side nervously. 

Even a blind person could tell by the tone of her voice and her body language that something was amiss. But not wanting to press on further, and reeling from the extreme pain ringing in my head, I decided to just dismiss it, giving her the benefit of the doubt. 

"Hold on while I whip something up for you, is pancakes with syrup fine with you?" Ruby asked lovingly. 

"Yes," I responded quickly, drooling as I envisioned the thick soufflé pancakes lathered with a layer of golden maple syrup. 

"Mmm okay," She responded as she started making the batter. 

After a painfully long thirty minutes, a plate was presented in front of me, with three pieces of fluffy golden pancakes stacked delicately atop one another, golden translucent syrup pouring forth from the top like a stream of endless gold. At the tip of the pancakes lay a small little coat of ice cream surrounded by lovely red strawberries, with a small parsley leaf on the top. 

"Breakfast is here!" Ruby announced joyfully, as she snuggled up next to me. 

"Mmm, looks delicious," I praised, my stomach raring to go. 

"Thanks!" Ruby chirped. 

Unable to bear the enormous weight of having to hold back from ravaging this godly meal presented before me, I quickly started to cut the pancake, getting smooth satisfaction as I watched the steel of the knife sink effortlessly into the pancakes, cutting it up into small bits. 

Then I sunk the teeth of my fork into the pieces and placed it at the mouth of the unsuspecting Ruby. 

"Ah," She said cutely while opening her mouth to take in the delicious goodness. 

"Mmm," She moaned joyfully, proud of her creation. 

Without hesitation, I picked up another piece and shoved it into my mouth. Instantly, my mouth was filled with an explosion of flavour, both hot and cold, quickly followed by a burst of energy coursing through my veins. 

"This is delicious," I complimented, my hand flying to my mouth in order to contain this rich goodness. 

"I'm glad you like it," Ruby said with a smile. 

As I continued wolfing down the food, I couldn't help but be filled with gratitude. 

'What a perfect morning,' I thought to myself, 'I feel like I'm jinxing myself here. Hmm, wonder why.'