So Christians Aren’t Virgins?

"Hey, hold it right there! Somebody stop them!"

A gathering of emergency vehicles surrounded the abode belonging to the Angel's family. Authoritative personnel were trying to disband and ameliorate the hectic teenage orgy which was taking place in the neighbourhood. They tried detaining them with handcuffs but their mouths were still unlocked to suck whomever they wanted. So the authoritative personnel had to quickly create a quarantine zone to imprison the horny teenage beasts from infecting others with their lustful chaos. They were likened to a pack of wild wolves, craving to hump or get humped by something sexual.

The detectives arrived at the frantic sex scene. "What the hell is going on here, Inspector?" The portly Inspector faced the two detectives who just arrived. He said to them, "Oh, Detective Collins and Detective Mak. What you are seeing before you is a Sexually Quarantine Zone."

"A Sexually Quarantine Zone? What do you mean by that, Inspector?"

"Well you see, detectives. This group of teenagers seemed like they have been exposed to a very potent concupiscence exotoxin, which is causing their sexual desires to go out of control. We had to detain them with Chastity Belts so that they wouldn't hurt themselves but, I fear that we might have been too late. Multiple causalities have already taken place. We've found a young pregnant girl drowned to death inside of the Angel's pool and also a poignant mixture of ejaculated substances all over the yard. By next week, I reckon that most of these teenage ladies might probably become pregnant."

The detectives were slightly taken aback by the Inspector's information. "So we're looking at something that could potentially turn out to be a Sexual Pandemic. How could something like this have happened?" Detective Collins asked bewildered.

"Inspector, mind if we take a look at that pregnant girl you mentioned?" Detective Mak asked.

"Not at all. She's over there. If you find anything that we might have missed, please be so kind as to inform us. We can't allow something else like this to happen to our small neighbourhood."

"We understand, inspector. I have a wife and daughter so I wouldn't like for them to experience what these kids are going through right now." The investigators went over towards the deceased pregnant teenager where they began their inspection.

"Collins, look at this. It's the same substance that we've found at our last crime scene. This is a specially secreted aphrodisiac that the body produces when it is elated by an overwhelming sexual drive. Do you think that we're dealing with the same culprit here?"

"There's no mistaking it, Mak. It's our guy and it looks like he has concocted a frightening virus that has the capability of overdriving the lust of others. As we expected, he's using a mind-control drug."

"Do we have anything to counteract it?"

"I don't know. I'll have to go have a word with the Science Department. For now, apprehending the culprit is our top priority before he spread his lustful virus that could potentially lead to worldwide overpopulation."

While the detectives conversed with each other, the Inspector came over. "Detectives, pardon my intrusion but, I've just received word from our patrols. A unit has spotted that overgrown beast you mentioned, heading towards Cornerwall Street."

"What?! Hurry up and send some units over there ASAP! We must apprehend him before we lose track of him. Make sure they approach with extreme caution. For we don't know what sort of tricks he still has up his muscular sleeve."

Multiple Emergency Vehicles rushed off in the direction of Cornerwall Street.

***

Big AL was walking along the sidewalk of Cornerwall Avenue; unaware that Penetration Vulva's Municipal Department was on his large trail.

The Acolyte of Lust had its tongue poking out, scanning for Ripen Virgins. "Yes—I sense something ripe around this area; very ripe." The Acolyte of Lust stopped to look at the adjacent street where it perceived churchly activities.

"Yes! Come on, church! We're having a revival tonight. Right here! Right now!"

"Yes! Preach it, Pastor! Preach it!"

"God bless, Cornerwall church!"

"Listen to what I'm saying to you, church. Some of you young ladies like to act highty-tighty, coming into God's church with your short-up skirts and your G-strings hanging out! Trying to tempt God's messenger but, it won't work! Unlike Samson who fell prey to the bewitching Delilah, God's messenger will always stand firm and steadfast! Dress not provocative within the abode of God and wash away all of that makeup! You plastic women! For it is a sin against daddy Jesus!"

Big AL entered Cornerwall church where there was a flourishing congregation underway headed by a spirited Preacher, preaching his lungs out.

"Yes! I feel your presence, Lord Jesus! These young ladies nowadays aren't properly securing their Temple! They're leaving it wide open so that all manner of diseases can crawl inside! Because they are not properly securing their Temple, they are not allowed to receive the Holy Divinity of God! We need to educate our young ones because they're straying far from the path of righteousness! Look around you… you can count on your fingers just how many young people are present with us tonight!"

"Hallelujah! Preach it, Pastor! Preach!"

Big AL stood at the back while scanning for Ripen Virgins, he ignored all other proceedings. "Fhm, he who preaches of purity has none to show for himself. Bunch of hypocrites, not a single one of you possesses a Sacred Fruit of Virginity."

Big AL exited Cornerwall church after he found out that none of the Christian majority inside was a Ripe Virgin. Stepping out of Cornerwall church, a group of enraged handguns greeted Big AL's extremely large complex.

"Freeze! Don't move! You're under arrest, you bastard!"

"Damn! He's so huge!"

Big AL stepped down the flight of stairs with his hands raised. He surrendered willingly to the cops. "What's the charges, officers?"

"Shut up and put your hands behind your head! You, go and arrest him." A seasoned officer commanded his junior to apprehend Big AL.

"Sir, I don't think that our handcuffs can fit around him." Said a young female officer.

"Then used barbed wires on him, I don't care! After what he did, he should be punished severely! That is what justice is, vengeance!"

"Hey, hey, why the hostility officers? What have I done to offend you guys?" Big AL asked puzzled by the current proceedings.

"Don't act foolish! You know exactly what you've done. All those females that you've raped and those teenagers whom you've drugged." The officers were getting furious, they wanted to pump Big AL full of holes, right then and there.

"I am unaware of what you speak of, officers. But those females willingly gave their va-jay-jays over to me. So are you saying that it is a crime now to bed a woman?"

"Shut your stinking mouth! You ugly sack of shit! And get your fat ass into this vehicle!"

Big AL smirked at the enraged officers and said, "I hate to break it to you officers but, I don't think that I can fit into that tiny little vehicle, perhaps one of you are willing to give me a piggyback ride?" The Acolyte of Lust taunted the officers. "Better yet, why don't I just walk with you to wherever you wish to take me?"

"Huh, is he serious? Why would he voluntarily come along with us?"

"Don't get too close to him. Remember what the Inspector said."

Seeing the officers hesitant about arresting him, Big AL sat on the flight of stairs then said to them, "Tell you what, I'm going to sit right here and give you all thirty seconds to make up your minds. If those seconds ran out and you still haven't made up your minds, then I'll decide for you." The officers were agitated by Big AL's remark. They got closer to each other where they began talking among themselves; all the while maintaining their firearms aimed at the large culprit.

"This bastard, he's trying to belittle us. We should just blow his head off then drag his corpse to the precinct."

"But we're not entirely sure if this really is our guy. What if he's just pretending to be the culprit, so he could cover for someone else? Then we would have mistakenly killed an innocent man." Said a young female officer with a curvy body to the veteran officer.

"That bastard isn't innocent, he admitted it himself. We haven't yet made the public aware of what has been going on in our town this Christmas Eve, so how could he have possibly known? Obviously, he is our guy, just look at him. Sitting there all boastfully like he has no respect for the law. I can't wait to dash his flabby ass into prison where his Ass-jay-jay will be in a continuous loop of All the Days of his Life!"

After the thirty seconds ran out, Big AL stood tall once again. "Your time is up. Now, I shall make my move!" Saying this, Big AL Leapt high up into the air. The officers were taken aback by his acrobatic agility.

"How can such a large man jump so high? Is he even human?!"

"What are you all staring at?! Can't you see that he's attempting to attack us? Shoot his ass down!" Screamed out the veteran officer.

The young female officer revolted against her superior's order. "But sir! What about the church behind him? They are Christians inside!"

"You think I give a rat's ass about some bunch of Bible Lickers! That bastard molested my little girl, even as we speak she's in a comatose state, nothing will stop me from getting my vengeance!"

Blam! Blam! Blam!

The veteran officer ignited his firearm which caused the other officers to do the same. They unloaded a vicious storm of bullets into the beastly monstrosity that was approaching them.

Inside Cornerwall church, Pastor Danny was reaching the meat of his service when suddenly he recognized gunshots flying through the front door, killing off some of his congregation.

"Oh, Jesus!" He ducked behind the altar while screaming Jesus's name repeatedly. "Oh daddy Jesus, please protect me! Father from above, let not a stray bullet pierce my Holy Temple! Keep me under your wings, Lord Jesus! Oh Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!"

While Pastor Danny was praying for his own skin, the rest of the congregation was scattering like flies. They didn't know what to do after trepidation overtook them, some even prayed for God to shelter them with a bulletproof vest.