Fuck Buddies

"Hello." Billie greeted me as I walked in.

"Hey." I smiled at her.

She was in the kitchen by the counter drinking water.

The table in the living room was filled with canned beers and popcorn.

"I already ordered some chicken." She states as she passes by to the living room.

"You're really taking this girls night thing to another level." I point out.

She huffs on the couch and smiles. "We are even going to watch a rerun of how I met your mother."

"From the first season?" I raise an eyebrow.

"From the very first season." She confirms.

"I better get changed then." I said and walked into my room to have a shower.

By the time I had a shower and put on more comfortable clothes, the chicken had arrived and Billie was already seated in front of the TV.

"Took you long enough." She sighs and passes me a can of beer.

"Thanks."

"Are we going to paint our nails?" She asks when the first episode comes on.

"Do you want us to?" I ask her.

"Honestly, I just want to get drunk tonight." She chuckles.

Why did that sound weird?

She sighs in content and leans in for a can of beer.

"How many of those have you had?" I ask her nodding at the beer. "Before you arrived, three. When you were in, two. So this is my sixth one."

"Billie, is everything okay?" I ask her, worried because she never drinks except if it's at a party or she has something bugging her.

"Shh, it's starting." She ignores the question and focuses on the tv.

Maybe she's just stressed about school.

We laughed, drank, ate and Billie didn't stop gulping beer after beer. The time was already past two and we were already halfway through the second season.

"Billie?"

"Yeah?" She glances at me.

"What's wrong?" Her hand stops mid air as she pauses.

She looks at me and chuckles. "What do you mean?" She takes a sip from her beer.

I took the remote and paused it. "Something's wrong." I state and she chuckles again.

"I'm that easy to read huh?" She sniffs.

Shit.

"Are you crying?" I set my beer down and move towards her.

"Ian and I had this fight." She sniffs. "He said we should take a break."

"Honey." I muttered. "When did this happen?"

"Two nights ago."

"Oh my goodness." I muttered.

"Honestly, I had seen this coming. We've been having little fights here and there."

"What did you guys fight about?" I ask her.

"The other night, we went to a party. He doesn't drink anytime he has to drive us home or he has to wake up early the next day. He didn't drink, and I tried not to drink too much because I didn't want to be a mess." Tears were rolling down her cheeks at this point.

"By the time I was ready to leave, he was nowhere to be found. I did remember him excusing himself to use the bathroom. But he never returned. I called him, texted him and everything, but he never answered."

"Don't tell me he was cheating."

She laughs and nods. "They were communicating through their tongues."

"Oh god." He did apologize and all, but at the end, he asked for a break. I didn't want to get dumped, so I said we should break up instead."

I pulled her in for a hug. "But it hurts you know." She cries.

"You guys have really come a long way you know."

"Yeah." She nods.

"If it wasn't late already, I'd have suggested we go clubbing."

She chuckles and pulls away. "I'll take you up on that offer next time."

"Sure. I'm up for it anytime."

She wipes her tears. "I'm sorry for my sob story."

"No, no. It's not a sob story. I'm ready to listen to thousands more every time."

She laughs. "That'd easily bore you. I forgot to ask since I was cooped up with my problems."

"What?"

"What's on your mind?" She asks.

The question took me by surprise a little. I didn't expect her to notice.

"Have you forgotten just how easily you can read me, I can also read you."

Right.

"And also, these days, you've been a little bit distant. Like something's bothering you. And tonight, you've just had two cans of beer."

"Two?"

She nods. "It took you 15 episodes of season one to finish a can." She points out and I laugh. "You just opened your third one." She points at the beer I put down.

I was amused that she noticed those little details and even I didn't know.

"It's nothing serious. It's nothing."

"Sweetie." She begins and placed a hand on mine. "I cried on your shoulder . You can cry on mine too." She assured me and I sighed.

"There's this guy."

"Ha!" She yelped. "I knew it was about a boy. Is little miss Lesley in love?"

I quickly shake my head. "No, no."

"So what's wrong? Is it Michael?"

"I'll remind you again. Michael and I are just friends. I don't have any feelings whatsoever for him."

"You should let him know that. I'm not sure he does."

Why do people keep saying the same thing?

"So you were talking about this guy?" Billie reminds me.

"There's this guy." I repeat. "We had sex and it was great."

"Do I know him?"

Yes.

"No."

"Someone I should know?"

You already do.

"I hope not." I answered.

"Okay." She shows her hand in surrender. "So what happened after sex?"

"That's the thing. We shouldn't have had the sex."

"Why?"

"Because he's someone I shouldn't sleep with."

"Because he's sex isn't great?"

"No."

"He's shorter than expected?"

"No Billie, he's not."

"Short time in bed?"

"Billie! It's not his sex. It's not his size, it's not the period of time he spends in bed, he's all great. But the fact is that I shouldn't be sleeping with him. It's wrong!"

"And why is it wrong?"

"Because…" I trail off.

He's your brother.

"Does he have a girlfriend?"

I shake my head. "Not that I know of."

"So what's bothering you about him?"

"He wants me. He says it everyday, he shows it even. And I want him too. But taking this step would mean I can't look back again. But I really don't want to take the risk. My body's telling me to go all in, but my heart is telling me otherwise."

"You're talking as if it's about marriage." She chuckles and fully turns to me. "Listen. You should throw all that out the window."

"Out the window?"

She nods. "You're in the present. Don't follow your heart. It will only hurt you later on. You want him? Go for him. When you get to the bridge where you have to think about the risk? You'd cross it. And besides, it's nothing more than a fling or two. You just want him for your sexual desires. He wants you for that too."

"I'm not sure why you even need a discussion about it. Just go for it. It's not a long term relationship. Just a fuck or two and it's out of your system. There's sincerely no need to rack your brain over it."

It's not like we're in a relationship.

We aren't. I just want him for the sex and so does he.

It's not like he proposed to me or asked me to date him. We're just together for the sex.

We're just fuck buddies.

"Oh my god." I gasp. "Why didn't it ever click before?"

"What would you have done without me in your life?" She asks proudly and picks up the remote.

There's nothing to it. It's just sex. I just need to let it out of my body.

And when it's all out, I can just go back to the way we were before. With no strings attached.