DENIAL

TRIGGER WARNING

THIS BOOK

CONTAINS

SENSITIVE MATERIAL

RELATING TO:

CHILD ABUSE,

BULLYING,

DEPRESSION,

TRAUMA,

PROFANITY,

SUBSTANCE ABUSE,

MILD VIOLENCE

AND SUICIDE,

REMEBER

TO PRACTICE SELF CARE

BEFORE, DURING AND

AFTER READING

Dear anyone who reads this letter:

If you're reading this, then I'm already dead. I'm writing this letter because I'm so fucking tired of everything and have no one else to rely on. I want to fucking die, and if I had a gun in my hand, I would not hesitate to shoot my brains off. I really didn't want it to come down to this, but it was something that I felt I had to do. Living in this shitty city is like living in a bubble. At home, my parents treated me like an animal; they abused me in a different way. I'm really good at my studies, but I still don't know why they always abuse me. When I was going to school, I was threatened like a ghost. No one talks to me. They always ignore me, except for the bullies. They always make fun of me and punch me. I feel like I don't belong in this world. I don't understand the true meaning of life. I'm currently thinking of ways I can kill myself. Should I drown myself? Should I hang myself? Or jump into a building? I'm still planning to do it.

I feel like no one is going to attend my funeral anyway. or no one will pay for my funeral. I'm really curious if somebody will cry if I die. Well, I expect no one will cry for me because no one really cares for me. It really doesn't matter if I'm going to heaven or hell, or if they exist or not. I just want to kill myself to end my sufferings

The man who wrote this letter

''Kazuki, I'm Sorry Please don't talk to me ever again.''

''NO DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE **** *** *''

*Alarm Clock Ringing*

The boy clicked the alarm clock to stop the alarm.

"Not that dream again... It's already Monday now, huh?"

Name: Kazuki Kitagawa

Age: 17

Class C

My daily life has always been like hell. Violence, Fear, Threats. The silent treatment, and....

At first, people even refrained from hurting one another since it was sad and frightening. But after time, I ceased hurting even when a nail pierced my arms.

I stopped worrying about the cigarette burns I had, and...

"I saw you with another female last night, you fool, where the fuck did you go?'' My mother and father are constantly squabbling, so it seems like a typical day in our home. I wonder whether this is the usual manner for other families.

"The fuck you're looking at?" That was my dad. My dad always used those words to me. He also beat me again and again. He always punched me, kicked me, or even slapped me My dad hated me when I was born because my real mom died while giving birth to me. He believed that I was the one who killed my mother, which resulted in a constant beating. But since then, I have had a stepmother. I thought my new mom would be a kind mother, but I was wrong. She abused me and beat me every time my father wasn't around, Since then, I've started calling her ''Mom so as a result, I'm living in this hell hole.

"Nothing, I'm going to school now."

"I grew used to suffering and began to believe that everything was okay the way it was." As he crossed the street, someone shoved Kazuki, causing him to tumble to the ground. A truck almost hit Kazuki, but luckily it breaks just in time

"What a lucky bastard you are Kitagawa, what happened to your face?, did your father beat you again" These two assholes are the ones who keep bullying me at school. People are afraid of them because they are notorious delinquents in school.

Name: Shigeo Hidaka

Age: 17

Class C

Name: Toru Sakurada

Age: 17

Class D

Kazuki stood up and walked away like nothing had happened as he went to school.

"What a weirdo," said by the bullies. Kazuki finally reached the school as he was late to class, and when he opened the door, the teacher was already teaching his classmates.

''Kitagawa, you're late again; meet me after class at the faculty lounge." Kazuki went to his seat when he noticed sentences written on his desk, like go to hell, daddy's boy, loner, faggot," and other mean things written on his desk.

''Ok, now class, open your book at page 15; we will answer our last assignment."

Time has passed, the class is now over, and now it's time for lunch. "Class is over. Enjoy your lunch, kids. Also, don't forget Kitagawa. Meet me later at the office."

Kazuki goes inside the toilet to have lunch. He eats lunch there because he does not have any friends. because one time he went to the cafeteria, he was alone at one table eating. and no one wants to eat with him.

Kazuki is eating while Hidaka and Sakurada pour him dirty water from the trash. He quickly came out on the toilet, and the bullies laughed at him, saying, "EWW, you're so gross right now. HAHAHA." laughing at him miserably.

Kazuki felt embarrassed at what happened; other students are staring at him directly as he runs away from embarrassment.

A girl was shocked after seeing Kazuki from afar. "Poor Kazuki, I'm so sorry, Kazuki, this is all my fault. I should go talk to him as soon as possible. Hopefully, he can forgive me after what I've done," whispered by an unknown girl.

In order to change into his PE suit and get dressed, Kazuki goes to his locker. Even though I'm very accustomed to this way of life, I sometimes find myself wondering why everyone must endure suffering and why certain people find it enjoyable to harm others.

I'm beginning to have self-doubt and feel flawed. Perhaps life is miserable, lonely, and painful, and it ends far too soon. People don't understand what it's like when nothing feels right, to be hurt, to feel lost, to be abandoned in the dark, to be kicked when you're down, to feel as though you've been pushed around, to be on the verge of breaking down, and to have no one there to help. Many people are unaware of what it's like to be mistreated.

"Look, Kazuki, I know your grades are good, but that doesn't mean you have to skip class and be late all the time. I realize it must have been difficult for you. If there's an issue, let me know; I'll be pleased to support you. understand? " Even though I am consistently ranked first, students don't really care about me at this time, and eventually, those who are ranked lower than me will become angry at me. because I always outrank them.

I don't want to go home yet; Mom is away from work, so Dad is probably at home drinking alcohol again. So, he probably beat me up again. I have no choice since if I get home late, he will surely beat me up in the worst way possible.

As I open the door, my dad is not in the living room. Usually, my dad is in the living room watching TV while drinking beers, but today he's not there. Kazuki went to his room to change his clothes. Maybe he went to his mistress or just went out to buy some beer

I felt some odd feeling coming from my parents' room. As I slowly opened the door to my parents' room, I noticed..........