New Eyes

ELRETH

It was strange. She'd been at the head table before with just her friends when her parents were gone, or they'd come to a meal late. It shouldn't have felt any different to sit up there—she'd sat at that table her whole life.

But sitting at its center, in the chair that was her fathers—she couldn't think of it any other way—it just… unsettled her.

She sat stiffly while her friends bantered around her.

"Do they serve the best cuts to the Queen, do you think?" Rak asked as they all took seats—the two males on either side of her, Gwyn next to Rak.

"This is no different than any other meal," Elreth said.

All three of her friends gaped. "You are joking, right?" Gwyn asked quietly, leaning over Rak to meet Elreth's gaze. "You know they're all watching you now?"

"Yeah, I heard them talking about it when I got in. Everyone's wondering who you'll pick for Cohorts."

The word was like a snare, dropped between them, waiting for someone to step on it. Elreth twisted her lips. "I haven't even… I still have to decide," she said, accepting a plate from a server that had appeared at her shoulder. A young sheep who smiled and bowed his head for a moment. "I'm glad it was you, Sire," he whispered as he handed her the large platter.

Elreth was touched. "Thank you," she said. "It's Chiern, right?"

"Yes!" he said, delighted that she'd remembered. It was a skill her father had taught her—never forget a name. It let the people know they mattered. "Can I get you anything else, Highness?"

"No," she said. "This is fine. Thank you."

"Could you bring some of the fruit juice?" Rak asked the male.

"Certainly," Chiern replied, then dipped his chin to Elreth again before turning to trot back to the kitchen for the drink.

Elreth frowned, but Rak had dug straight into his plate. She couldn't remember him ever making a special request before. She would have to pay attention and make sure her friends didn't take advantage.

She tried to have a normal meal with them, discussing the little things that had happened through the day—according to Gwyn, who was their resident gossip, Bharn and Ohryn had broken up. Elreth was surprised. "I thought they were going to mate," she commented.

"So did Ohryn," Gwyn said with a dark little smile. "She's been crying the whole afternoon. And she hasn't even come to the meal because he's apparently already talking to someone else."

Elreth blinked. She'd never really been interested in a relationship herself. Never paid much attention to the conversations when the females laughed and whispered about the males. But she'd thought when two Anima spent as much time together as Bharn and Ohryn had, that mating was practically assumed.

Did she have to worry, not only about finding a male that would be willing to mate, but also to being discarded? Publicly?

The hair on the back of her neck stood up at the thought of how it would feel to have invited a male into her life, into her body and then… for everyone to know he had decided against her… the Queen…

Or worse, what if she chose a male and it later turned out that he'd only mated her because she was Queen?

The breaking of mates in Anima was rare, but it did happen.

She'd never thought she would have to worry about these kinds of things. Her parents had always been so desperately in love, she'd just assumed that when her male came along she'd be just as blessed by the Creator.

But what if she wasn't?

"Are you alright, Elreth?" Dargyn whispered in her ear. So close, his breath fluttered in her hair.

She startled and swallowed the mouthful of food too soon and almost choked.  "I'm… I'm fine…" she croaked after she'd finished coughing. "I was just… feeling bad for Ohryn."

"You're a good friend," Dargyn said quietly, his eyes on hers and he smiled.

When Dargyn looked at her like that, Elreth's stomach trilled. He was incredibly handsome, with near-black hair and deep green eyes. A strong jaw and high cheekbones. They'd been friends almost as long as she and Aaryn, though never as close. But when Dargyn had gone through the shift from adolescence to adulthood he'd become… very popular.

Everyone teased her that he cared for her. But she'd never really thought a lot about it. He was handsome, yes. But she didn't feel the pull towards him that she saw between her parents.

To be fair, she didn't feel that way towards anyone. Something her female friends had always teased her about—that she was really like the males. Except she didn't mate with anyone.

Elreth chewed her mouthful carefully. She was the last of her friend group to remain untouched. Even Aaryn had mated with females.

Many times.

The act of mating was of little consequence to the Anima. It was only when two Anima chose each other to take as Mates, or when the True Mate's bond was discovered between a couple, that the word took on new meaning.

But Elreth had never even desired the act. Let alone found a male she could see as a True Mate. But now… as Queen… she would be expected to find a Mate. And quickly. And he would no doubt be experienced in the act of mating…

Was she going to regret how she'd ignored this part of life before now? Or were the people going to regret her lack of experience—wish for her to show herself adult in that way?

For the first time it occurred to her… Maybe she was the problem?

She looked at Dargyn then. He was looking at someone in the crowd below, smiling and mouthing words to a friend. His jaw was strong and square—and lightly dusted with a shadow this late in the day.

His hair fell over his eyes, and his neck made that lovely long cord that only males seemed to have, when he felt her gaze and turned his head to meet it.

He didn't say anything, only held her eyes.

Elreth swallowed.

*****

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