Falling

Even though Lyra was right beside me, I suddenly panicked. I didn't know where I was and April could still be around. My breathing became erratic as I looked around the dark room, trying to figure out where this was. 

I wanted to move my body, but everything ached, making it impossible to move and making my anxiety worse. 

"S-Saki?" My hyperventilating and attempts at moving woke Lyra up. 

"It's okay, we are just in my room. You are safe." Lyra quickly picked up what was going on and pulled me into her chest. It was painful, but it helped calm me down and the panic began to subside. 

Now knowing where I was and being right next to Lyra made me feel safe. It was registering in my head that April was nowhere near me and I could actually relax. However, the panic was converting into embarrassment as I was being smothered by Lyra. 

"That's it, breathe slowly. No one is going to hurt you." Lyra then started to slowly pat my head and scratch behind my ear, which was making me feel... 'other' things rather than comfort.

"Ngh~, I-I'm fine now." I needed Lyra to stop scratching my head otherwise, I'd start making weird noises. 

"Are you sure?" Lyra pulled away for a moment and looked me directly in the eyes to see if I was lying. 

"Y-yes, you can let me go now." I didn't really want her to let go and my bright red face said that, but I didn't want to catch feelings. It was already a struggle not to be attracted to Lyra, but the last thing I wanted to do was get her caught up in this mess. 

"No, I refuse to let you go, not until morning." Lyra wasn't going to budge and if anything, I was glad. 

"I-I, u-umm…T-thank you." I didn't know how to respond or what came over me suddenly, but I suddenly began to cry. It was rare for me to ever hear words of comfort so hearing Lyra give them to me hit my heart directly. 

"Let it all out, I'll be right here." Lyra continued to lightly pat my head, letting me cry everything out. 

*

'Should I say it now? Feels wrong to suggest dating while she is crying.' I felt my heart race, as I never expected to be this close with Saki. I thought she would have woken up before night, but that was not the case. 

And with my parents now home, I couldn't just sleep in the guest room without it being suspicious. 

'No, I can't rush things. If I do it now, it will just feel artificial and not genuine.' It was a tough position to be in since Saki's mental health is so fragile right now. I can imagine the slightest bit of worry would lead Saki down a spiral of overthinking and stress. So I needed to ensure that there wasn't a doubt in her mind. 

'Arghh, but if I wait, then I run the risk of her potentially committing.' I wanted to scream and pull my hair out, I know I put myself in this position to protect Saki, but I never expected it to be so challenging. 

'Although I do prefer dealing with this than my family.' It was much easier to be Saki's protector than to deal with the constant belittlement I get from my family. At least when protecting Saki, I am in most cases, stronger than the spoilt nobles who use magic as a party trick. 

Ever since I found myself in this world, I have practiced magic as much as I could, way before anyone else did. Surprisingly, it was simpler than I thought, so I managed to become an adept mage before attending the academy.

'Maybe I should pay Apirl a personal visit and let out some of my frustration.' It was tempting and if done right, I can get away with it, but with such a shit standing in my family I'd probably be thrown out of my house. 

*Sigh* 'I should be focusing on Saki and getting back to sleep.' I didn't have the brain capacity to be thinking up any plans right now and I still had a sobbing Saki in my arms. Thankfully, she has calmed down significantly and snuggled into me, but I still hear the occasional sniffle. 

"A-are you okay, Lyra?" Saki looked up at me, worried, clearly hearing my sigh. 

"Yes, I'm fine. Just thinking about the future." I didn't want to put any more problems on Saki with my own worries, so I hoped my answer sufficed. 

"I see… Y-you don't have to do so much for me you know, and don't get me w-wrong I'm not trying to convince you to stop,  I-I just wanted to let you know that I'm v-very grateful." In a very sudden turn of events, Saki placed a small kiss on my cheek before hiding her face out of embarrassment. 

I was honestly stunned for words, I didn't expect Saki to have the courage to do something like that.

'Fuck, my heart has never beaten this fast before.' I could hear my own heartbeat and feel my face burn up. With every person I ever dated, I had never gotten this kind of reaction before.

'Just breathe. I need to make sure I say my next words carefully. She is probably panicking like crazy at what she just did.

"D-damn you… I was supposed to be the one to do it." I didn't want to outright say it, as I felt it was a little too early and I didn't want to make this relationship born out of dependence on me. 

Saki stayed quiet, refusing to lift her head from my chest, but it was probably for the best. I continued to pat her head, as it was surprisingly soothing. I did want to scratch her ears, but I realised her tail began to swish back and forth, so I assumed it was a little too sensitive. 

'Hmm thinking of tails, I wonder how soft it is.' My thoughts began to wander into random topics and it didn't take long before we both fell asleep. 

*

'AHHHHHH!!! I DID IT!!! WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?!' My thoughts were going haywire as I just kissed Lyra on the cheek. I don't know why I did it out of the blue, but it just felt right. It certainly was a risk, but I was too busy with my own thoughts to hear the kind of response she had. 

I vaguely heard a couple of words, but it didn't seem like she hated it. She also started patting my head again shortly after so I took that as a good sign. 

'What has gotten in me? If Lyra does like me then I will just cause her more trouble!' I tried convincing myself that it would only hurt Lyra if I fell for her, but my impulse got the better of me.

'Maybe it's a good thing... if Lyra hadn't found me, then I doubt I would want to be alive.' The urge to give up was strong, but Lyra provided me with a glimmer of hope. If I was alone and had no one there for me, I would have ended it before it even started. I also didn't want to leave my mother after getting to see her alive again, so Lyra is really helping me from breaking. 

'Argh, enough about that. I'm so fucking tired.' My eyes were so heavy and with the soft pats from Lyra, it was super relaxing. Even though I just kissed her, I found myself more calmer than I thought. 

'Oh well, I'll let my future self panic about it later.' Sinking myself deeper into the bed and Lyra's embrace, I fell asleep. 

***

"Alright boys, I've decided that we will go and attack Lyra. My new prey Saki seems to be very fond of her and so to get rid of this peasant trash out of the academy, I say we give her a little… present." It was the dead of night and I stood in front of a group of about 20 people. 

These 20 people were all noble thugs who did the dirty work rather than pay their way out with money. Violence was a much more satisfying method of feeding the hunger we all have to show off the power we have. 

"Are we planning to kill her? As far as I know, the Owlvil family could care less about her." One of the nobles spoke up, bringing up a very good point. 

"This is exactly why I brought you all here. We won't have any issues getting away with it, but she is quite the mage, I hear. So do not underestimate her just because she is a girl." It was definitely out of character for me to give so much credit to a woman, but her control over mana is supposedly beyond that of any graduate. 

"If the boss is saying it then it must be a serious threat." Everyone nodded clearly, a little frustrated, but it only fueled their motivation to go through with my plan. 

"Good, now let's prepare for a night attack."