Chapter 33

"Hey, Charlie, you know what today is?" Gabriel asks excitedly, bounding up to her in one of the many hallways of the bunker.

"The anniversary of Star Wars Episode Seven?" she guesses with a grin, naming the movie that, like, half the bunker watched the previous night.

"Yeppity doo," he confirms. "You know what that means?"

"Something fun, right?"

"Hellz yeah!" Suddenly, a light saber appears in Gabriel's hands. He activates it, a jet of blue light shooting out.

Charlie's eyes widen. "Dude! You have a real freaking light saber!"

"Is that a problem?" he asks.

"No, that's awesome! I want one!"

"Think fast!"

Gabriel deactivates the light saber and tosses it, but it doesn't reach her. Instead, it lands in Lucifer's outstretched hand. They hadn't realized he was there, he's so quiet. It makes sense he'd choose here; he's close enough to the war room that he can hear if something fun happens or if the opportunity for him to annoy people arises, but he's not stuck in any social situation. Instead, he's just playing on... a Gameboy? Who uses Gameboys anymore?

"You gonna join us, seeing as you're one with the Force, or are you just being annoying?" Gabriel asks him.

"Actually, are the annoying ones," Lucifer replies, putting the light saber on the floor next to him before returning to his game.

Gabriel nudged Charlie. "I'm gonna pull a Luke," he whispers. He holds out a hand, exaggerating his concentration on the weapon before it flies into his hand.

Except it doesn't. Lucifer shoots a hand out and grabs it just as it leaves the ground.

"Dude, you ruined my moment!" Gabriel whines.

"Too bad," Lucifer replies, obviously unconcerned. "Go geek out somewhere else."

"Or you could stop being a jerk and bring your boring self somewhere else?" Though she started out confident, her voice became less sure as Lucifer looks up from his game to glare at her.

The light saber spontaneously combusts, then flies towards her, courtesy of a mildly annoyed and very bored Lucifer. Charlie screams and jumps back, narrowly missing the flaming object.

Though Gabriel could put the fire out, he decides against it. The light saber is about thirty seconds away from being a pile of slush on the floor, anyway. Instead, he makes a new light saber, sticks his tongue out at his brother, and this time hands it to Charlie.

"How do I... Holy Tardis of stinking Gallifrey!" she exclaims as the light saber activates. After the initial shock disappears, she holds it up in the way Anakin or Obi Wan or Luke would hold it. "Surprise, bitches. I'm the next Jedi."

"There can only be one," Gabriel replies, a light saber appearing in his own hand as well. He activates his, a jet of blue light shooting out of his. Instead of mimicking Charlie, he holds it like Ashoka from the Clone Wars television show.

"You wanna go?" Charlie taunts him.

"You're going down!" Gabriel replies.

"Aw hell no!"

Charlie swings her light saber, making sure that it won't hit him just in case his reflexes aren't as good as she thought. Instantly, he blocks it, the light sabers clashing with a loud hiss. Charlie swings again, and Gabriel does a dramatic turn and essentially dancing away from it.

Taking the offense this time, he attacks her head, and she ducks before returning with a strike of her own. He blocks her, the light sabers meeting between them. They push forward, each trying to move the other person's weapon towards them. Suddenly, Gabriel side steps out of the way, sending Charlie, who had all her weight in the light saber, flying forward. He uses his awesome angel powers to stop her before she slams into the wall and stabs herself, and, more importantly, before she hits Lucifer.

The older angel looks up, a dangerous look in his eye. Charlie takes a few nervous steps back, hiding behind Gabriel. Lucifer puts his Gameboy down and stands up slowly, his chin tucked and just looking downright scary.

Suddenly, a light saber appears in his own hand. The other two watch in confusion. What's the devil doing with a light saber? A red blade of light shoots out from not just the tip but the sides, and he holds it down so the tip almost touches the floor.

"You've made a grave mistake," he growls, "messing with me. You're no match for the power of the Dark Side."

Gabriel and Charlie look at each other uncertainly before a smile creeps up on both their faces and they turn back to him.

"There are two of us and one of you," Gabriel reminds him. "This is a fight you can't win."

"Watch me."

Immediately, the two angels start fighting, their light sabers moving at such a high speed that the light they emit is still visible on one side of their body while the saber itself is on the other. Lucifer walks towards him, pushing him back against the wall. He holds the saber to his brother's throat, his neck between the long blade and one of the short ones.

"Any last words, rebel scum?"

"Yes," Gabriel chokes out as if he's actually about to be decapitated, which, knowing Lucifer, is entirely possible. Then he smirks, confusing the older angel until he says, "Don't forget, I didn't come alone."

Lucifer looks begins him just in time to see Charlie's light saber slide up next to his throat.

"Charlie saves the day," she says proudly.

"Do you?" Lucifer asks with a smirk. "Do you really?"

He rolls away from her light saber — doing a literal summersault to get away. He stands up as quickly as he went down, shooting out a hand in her direction. She freezes, only her eyes darting around nervously.

He walks up to her, his light saber by his side as he circles her in a very dramatic way because how do you not look dramatic while walking slowly and holding Kylo Ren's light saber?

"Did you really think you could beat me? You, just a simple hacker? The Dark Side is more powerful that you could ever understand. Join me..." He whips his light saber up until it's resting just above her shoulder, "or die."