My very first love

Both Melanie and Ryan scream at the same time, "What?"

Melanie moved away from Ryan and said, "Is that why you are rejecting me? You should have said so. I can't believe I wasted my time on someone like you."

And she left giving me a small shoulder push.

I hated this girl. A LOT.

Ryan came to me, not smiling not grinning. But a different expression that I couldn't describe in words. An expression that I knew I like.

"Thanks for that. Did you say that to get Melanie out of my face?"

"No, that's the truth, right?"

At first, he tried to contain it. But then he burst out laughing. Like actually laughing. With tears in his eyes. I loved each of his expressions. He looked so good laughing like that.

He was laughing so hard it made him fall to the ground.

"What?" I asked trying to contain the smile that was forming on my face looking at him.

"Let me guess. Mom told you that, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"And you actually believed it?"

"Well, the way she told my mom and the way my mom told me, it was pretty hard not to believe it."

"Julie, it's not true. I'm not gay. Actually.." he got up from the floor and wiped the tears that formed due to laughing hard before continuing.

"Mom has always been after me to get a girlfriend. I didn't like any girls from my school or anyone around me. So to make mom stop nagging me, I asked my best friend Connor to pretend to be in love with me so mom thinks I'm gay and stops nagging me."

It took me a while to process this information. 'He's not gay. He's not interested in a guy. He's interested in girls. HE MAY BE INTERESTED IN ME.' This time I couldn't stop smiling. So, I turned my back on him so he can't see me smiling like a fool. When I stopped smiling I turned at him with new questions.

"Why didn't you find yourself a girl to pretend to be your girlfriend. No one gets a guy to pretend to be his boyfriend. People usually find a fake girlfriend."

"I didn't have any girl friends. So I had to make do with what I had, of course.''

He thought about something very seriously, then started laughing again. Not hard enough to have a tear or fall to the ground but still laughing hard.

"What now?"

I was wondering what other foolish thing I had done to make him laugh so much.

"I was surprised when mom said you would live with me. I wondered why your mom would allow you a beautiful teenager to live alone with a teenage boy. Is that why she allowed it?"

I nodded a little before I also started laughing. But I didn't only laugh at my foolishness. Along with that, I laughed because he called me beautiful and because he is not gay. I received praises for my good looks lots of time. But those sounded like empty praises. His one gave me butterflies. Maybe because I like him so much already or maybe he actually is being genuine.

We laughed like crazy for a long time there. Seeing it was getting late I said," Enough making fun of me. Now let's go home. Mom will be angry if she knows we're out this late."

"It's not that late. Come let me take you somewhere."

"Where?"

"You don't know that place."

"C'mon. I've lived here since I was a kid, way longer than you've. I know almost all places here and have been there."

"ALMOST," he says mimicking me.

"Okay, almost. But if it's a beautiful sight then there's no way I haven't been there."

Then I remember the balcony view. A beautiful sight that was unnoticed by me.

"Or maybe I haven't been there," I say with a sense of realization.

With his bright smile, he says, " That's the spirit. Let's go."

And then, like a fool, I sit on his bike again and go for another ride. Another ride where I feel like I'm dying.

The whole ride I kept my eyes closed so I don't know where we go. When I open my eyes after an adrenaline rush which I hated, I see we are in front of piles of garbage.

"Seriously? You wanted to show me garbage?"

''That's the catch. Most people ignore it cause they only see the garbage. The beauty is inside." saying this he pointed towards somewhere a little farther from the piles of garbage. I couldn't see what he was pointing to. I only saw an open field.

"There's an open field in many places in San Marlon if that's what you are showing me."

"You have a serious problem in your eyes. Come, let me show you."

I wanted to object because he was pulling me through the garbage and I'm a very neat person who hates garbage most. But I didn't object because he was PULLING me. He grabbed my hand and started running towards the garbage. We got on piles of garbage, my shoe was getting dirty and I was starting to smell but his touch made it feel like nothing. Like nothing except his touch is important. I couldn't see where we were going. But I could see how good he looked while running.' Was there any time when he didn't look good?'I wondered. Maybe not. The perfect guy I saw in anime and wondered if they exist. They do exist. Guys perfect like anime, guys like Ryan. When he left my hand, I noticed where we were. I knew this place. The beautiful sight I saw from the balcony of Ryan's small house.

"Can you guess where it is??" Ryan asked with the same smile that I love the most.

"Behind your house," I replied with my most sincere smile.

And we stayed like that, for hours, playing and laughing like fools. We clicked photos of us, of the birds. Played in a swing that broke while we were still on it, we just looked at each other and smiled, happily.

In my life, I've never smiled so happily and so genuinely. Even though Jennifer made me the happiest, it was not as much as this. He is not my crush anymore. I don't like him anymore. Because he has become my very first love and I love this guy.