Chapter 4

One thing my father in particular had always said about me was that I was a 'Seren mark two' which is referring to my late grandmother, who, when I was young, I would refer to as 'nanny'. My father would always say how much I was like her, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing in my eyes, in my eyes, she was an amazing woman, as beautiful as a professional model, she never needed makeup.

In my father's eyes, towards her later years, she was a nuisance he just couldn't get rid of, her picky eating, her wanting to know everything about what they're doing and where they're going, hating certain sounds, quickly changing moods. All traits I had inherited from her, the only thing I was afraid of inheriting was my nan's schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. She was in and out of mental homes throughout my mother's childhood, my father describes her as 'insane'.

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One thing.

The only thing that got me through each day was Cameron, Zander and Xavier, more recently I realized that their friend, Jack, had also been influential on me, always acting slightly as if he's high on drugs all the time but that's just his character. Being able to talk to them and them being able to relate to what I'm saying is a really amazing thing. The girls would just pass me off as weird and unacceptable to be near them, or daresay I made it into their elite group. I'd probably kill myself.

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Girls are always seeming to be trying to get The Guys alone, without me. They all think I'm some desperate, unpopular nerd who has a crush on Xavier. A girl who had never spoke to them before, started talking off their ears like it was the new designer outfit that had just been released. Then it was a girl named Lillie, remember her, the one I said had been really sweet towards me, well she's changed. Now with her super athletic body, her designer sunglasses and long list of ex boyfriends, she starts trying to suddenly get super close to Xavier, like, super super close.

I'm not jealous of Lillie at all, its just that I know that Xavier will be tossed to the curb in a couple of mere days. Xavier can do whatever he likes, I just dont want him getting hurt.

And the best thing is, Lillie rejected Zander only a few days ago. Zander was heartbroken, his little heart had just shattered into tiny pieces before us.

He's like a little brother to me, and I knew he took the rejection hard. It took him weeks to even ask if she would go out with him, despite always rethinking himself on it, he finally asked her. You already know she said no, she's a popular girl, and he's far from it, a thirty percent nerd, forty percent goofy, and the rest was just being hyper all the time. Previously in the past, Lillie had been very lovely to me, but all I can think of now is that she's trying to get rid of me.

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