8. Chapter 8(1)

It should feel drastically different considering something so fundamental has changed between them. Or so Lena thinks.

Instead, it feels fairly natural when she wakes up in Kara’s bed, fully clothed and eyes clearing on the still-snoring image of Kara’s face. Kara’s hand is outstretched between them, settled on Lena’s hip, and Lena notices her own fingers have tangled in Kara’s shirt, having moved there of their own accord sometime while she was sleeping.

A month ago, it would have startled her. She might have found a way to slowly extricate herself from the closeness or guiltily sunk into it knowing it was only temporary. But this morning, she does neither of those things.

Everything feels too good. Her body feels weighted into the mattress, tethered to the soft way Kara’s face looks while she’s sleeping. So, without thinking much of it, she sags further into the mattress and shifts until Kara’s hand is slipping more solidly onto her body.

Kara grumbles something in her sleep but doesn’t wake. It’s a small moment, but it somehow contains so many things Lena had never allowed herself to hope for.

It’s almost embarrassing how quickly she falls back asleep, her feelings like a blanket over both of them.

--

The next time she wakes up, it’s to Kara gently shaking her shoulder. It forces her to come to full consciousness rather quickly and when she jerks up, Kara’s expression goes somewhere between amused and concerned.

“Morning,” Kara says, already standing next to the bed and dressed like she’s headed for a workout.

Lena sits up but feels so much groggier than she normally does. A glance to the clock beside Kara’s bed tells her it’s just past five in the morning. It’s not much earlier than she normally wakes up, but there’s a lingering lassitude in the back of her mind that has her wanting to pull Kara back into the bed.

“Hi,” Lena says, clearing the sleep out of her throat and throwing the covers off her body so she can stand up.

“Sorry to wake you,” Kara says, hands in the pockets of her black joggers. “But I thought you might want to get out of here before Alex gets here to pick me up.”

The mention of Kara’s sister makes Lena’s eyes go wide – wide enough that Kara tries and fails to smother an amused looking smile. “Good thinking,” Lena murmurs, sudden anxiety making her stomach flip as she glances to the door.

Kara reaches out to take a loose hold on Lena’s arm, stepping in close enough to pull Lena’s attention back to Kara’s face and quell some of the fluttering in her stomach. “You have time, she won’t be here for another hour.”

They regard each other for a moment and Lena doesn’t resist the soft, warm feeling that threads around them. Kara’s palm feels hot on the skin of Lena’s forearm and it seems like they both look down at where they’re touching together.

Kara’s face flushes and she pulls her hand away slowly. It’s an absurd reaction. They’ve touched so many times at this point, Lena feels like she knows Kara’s body nearly as well as her own. But everything feels more charged now, every movement filled with new meaning.

Rocking back and forth on her feet, Kara stuffs her hands back in her pockets and shoots Lena a soft smile. There’s something so attractive about the look that Lena’s cheeks go hot.

“How are you feeling about last night?” Kara asks, the crinkle around her eyes betraying just how much she cares about the answer.

The implication that Lena could have changed her mind overnight makes her stomach swoop.

It’s no less scary, sure. If anything, Lena feels a bit more terrified about the entire thing in the light of day. But there’s something about the look in Kara’s eyes that makes Lena feel a little more reckless and unafraid. It’s not as if she’s made this decision haphazardly.

No, it’s more that every moment that came before last night was like a slow crawl leading to this one. Her decision was made long ago, and it was always going to bring them here.  

The inevitability of that is a bit more terrifying, but Lena takes a breath against the feeling.

“Good,” she answers simply, her voice carrying no louder than a whisper. “You?”

Kara smiles and Lena’s stomach flips over. “Happy.”

Maybe it’s all the months of being so sure of Kara’s lack of feelings, or maybe it’s Lena’s general pessimism when it comes to her personal life. But whichever, the way Kara looks at her makes her chest feel expansive and tight at the same time. “Yeah?”

“Totally,” Kara answers, laughing at herself as she says it.

Lena feels giddy, embarrassingly pleased and she’s afraid if she’s not careful she might do something ridiculous like start giggling or maybe even clapping.

Thankfully, Kara saves her from her dilemma by reaching out an arm to snake it around Lena’s waist and turn them towards the kitchen. “Come on,” Kara says. “We have time for a quick cup of coffee.”

Mindful of Kara’s injury, Lena’s careful about the way she leans into Kara’s side, but doesn’t protest when Kara leads them out of the bedroom.

--

Their coffee finished, Lena glances at the time and realizes she should get going. Especially if Alex is liable to show up at any moment.

“I’ll see you later,” Kara says, though it comes out more like a question.

They hover around each other near the front door and Lena can’t stop herself from reaching up to touch lightly at Kara’s face.

“You will,” Lena says and they both seem to hesitate, Kara’s eyes drawing down to Lena’s lips.

It’s as if they’ve never kissed before – as if Lena hadn’t all but thrown herself at Kara the night prior. Even the first time they’d done this – in an elevator so long ago – Lena had felt less hesitant.

Thankfully, Kara shakes off the awkwardness of it first and smiles, noses forward before Lena even has time to take another breath.

It feels good and almost new. Kara’s hand wraps to the small of her back to bring them in closer and Lena lets her hands rest near Kara’s neck, fingers tangling in the straps of her tank top.

She doesn’t want to leave. Aches with how much she wants to stay. Warm in Kara’s orbit.

But reality is there nonetheless and this time, when Lena finally pulls away to leave, it doesn’t feel so final. Their parting holds the kind of promise Lena never let herself believe in before.

They smile at each other, kiss again, swiftly, before Lena walks down the hall and slips into the black town car waiting for her.

George glances at her in the mirror. There’s a smile on his face she can’t decipher, but if he knows anything, he doesn’t say as he pulls the car away from the curb and takes her home.

As a change of pace, Lena doesn’t fight the happy feeling trying to take over her being. There’s a tingly warm feeling sensation spreading across her skin and Lena doesn’t resist it, closes her eyes a moment and lets herself feel.

--

This time, Lena doesn’t make the mistake of keeping Jack in the dark. In fact, she’s not sure she’d be capable of doing so even if she’d wanted to. It’s like everything threatens to come bursting out of her the second they meet up for a late happy hour that evening.

“You look uncharacteristically happy,” Jack says, almost grumbling it as he swirls an olive in his drink. “I suspect it has nothing to do with your board meeting today.”

“Kara and I talked things out,” she tells him, thinking maybe that’s a good way to put it. She’s mindful of the bartender washing glasses at the end of the bar, but other than that most of the other patrons are engrossed in their own conversations.

Jack freezes, turns slowly to look at her and lets the olive toothpick in his hand plop back into his drink. “Like, talked things out,” he says. “Or talked things out.”

It’s clear just from Jack’s expression what kind of distinction he’s making, and she swats at his bicep. “She has a back injury.”

“I thought she was healed and feeling better.”

“Not that better,” Lena says with a little scoff.

Jack makes a humming noise like he doesn’t believe her, but the sound cuts off when Lena throws him a glare. “So, what does that mean? Talking it out.”

Lena takes a breath, feels like there isn’t a good explanation that doesn’t make her sound like a giddy teenager. “We discussed…things.”

It’s one of the lamer moments of her life.

“Things,” Jack repeats, looking like he wants to laugh at her, but wisely swallowing the urge. “How enlightening.”

“We’re going to give it a try,” Lena says and then feels the need to clarify. “Dating. Sort of.”

Jack blinks for a second, a smile blooming on his face.

“What? Like an adult relationship? One where you have to acknowledge your feelings and appear in public together?”

“So cute how you pretend you know what that is,” Lena jabs, cheeks flushing as she tries to fight the way her stomach rolls at appear in public together. That part is going to take a lot more time for Lena to come around on.

He laughs, but doesn’t deny her jab. In a friendly gesture, he puts his hand on her arm. “I’m sorry, Lena, I’m only joking.”

“I know, but I’m serious,” she says, still rolling her eyes at him. She pauses a minute before adding, “About trying it with Kara.”

His expression sobers in small degrees until he’s smiling softly at her, fond and almost proud. “I’m happy for you,” he says. “I’m glad you’re at least trying.”

“That’s all there is to do sometimes, right?” Lena says wryly, and he winks at her.

“That’s what I’ve always said, love.”

“You’re so wise,” Lena says, reaching over to poke at his shoulder. Jack nods sagely.

“And so you’re finally over all that…what was it? Professional ethics and blah blah,” Jack asks, his disdain for Lena’s previous reasoning clear.

Lena sighs. Isn’t really sure how to answer that. “I suppose I’m just tired of fighting against something I want so badly,” she admits, her voice so quiet she’s not sure Jack can hear her.

From the way his face goes soft, she’s pretty sure he does. “So what does that mean? Are you guys going to…come out?”

Just the thought of announcing to the world that she and Kara are dating starts to coil anxiety in her throat that she can’t deny. “No,” she says slowly, unable to stop herself from looking around at the other patrons in search of wandering eyes or ears. “It just means we’re…” A good explanation alludes her for a moment, but Jack seems to take pity.

“You’re giving it a try,” he says, but there’s a delight in his eye that makes Lena smile.

“We are.”

“I’m happy for you, Lena,” Jack says, as sincere as can be. It spreads warmth across her skin.

“Thanks, Jack,” she says quietly, and he smiles.

“And you know what this calls for,” he says, already raising his hand to the bartender.

“No shots, Jack it’s barely six,” Lena says, grabbing for his arm and laughing when he avoids her reach and waves down the bartender anyway.

--

The Lakehawks have a string of away games before they make their last home stand and Lena can’t quell the surge of anticipation for Kara’s text the morning of the first match against Central City.

I’m craving Italian tonight – meet at your place? is all it reads and that shouldn’t be something so distracting, but Lena feels like she thinks about it all throughout the rest of her day.

They haven’t hung out anywhere other than Kara’s apartment. Largely on account of Kara’s injury – she’s mostly been unable or uninterested in going anywhere else. She was well aware of Kara being a known persona around National City, but the running reports on her every spotting around town has gotten to the point where it gets talked about in the city’s tabloids. Just two days ago, there’d been a photo of Kara in sweats and a heavy jacket getting ramen from the noodle shop on her corner on the front of the Daily Nat.

Do you need me to send my driver over, she texts later, hoping Kara’s not intending to walk all the way over. It’s a walkable distance, sure, but the idea of Kara making the trip makes Lena uneasy. Not to mention that little paranoid voice in her head that doesn’t like the idea of Kara getting spotted waltzing up into Lena’s apartment building.

Kara’s response is quick: I’ll take the Model L – that self-drive you put in there is awesome. What do you want from Cosettas?

I can send George. It’s no problem, Lena replies. Trusting in her own technology well enough but liking the assurance of having her own driver take care of Kara.

This time, there’s a lag between responses. George doesn’t like me.

Lena laughs, thinks maybe Kara’s joking, but when nothing else is forthcoming, she texts back: that’s not true.

It is, Kara replies. Pretty sure he’s a Skippers guy.

That’s entirely new information for Lena. In fact, she’s never even thought to consider that her driver had any sports allegiances. It hadn’t exactly been part of the hiring qualifications. She’d say she’s surprised it’s never come up in conversation, but truth be told, she and George don’t exchange much small talk beyond how are you and where to, Miss Luthor?  

Before she can reply, Kara texts again. What do you want from Cosettas?

I think you’re wrong about George is Lena’s only answer – now completely distracted by the possibility her driver of over a decade is a Skippers fan and carries a distaste for Kara. It’s bothering her enough that she considers calling him right now and confronting him and if it weren’t for the rational part of her that knows how ridiculous that is, she’d have done so already.

I’m not.

Lena glares at her phone, but before she can reply, Kara’s already sent another text.

Just tell me what you want to eat tonight so I can satisfy you.

Lena knows her word choice was intentional – a clever tactic to distract Lena from the current train of conversation. But even knowing all that, it still works. Her brain drops between her legs and heat crawls up her throat.

Caprese salad, please is all Lena texts back.

--

When Kara does show up that night it’s with three bags of Italian food and Lena’s fairly certain that Kara’s interpreted caprese salad as lasagna, two orders of chicken parmesan and a variety of appetizers that will likely end up as leftovers in Lena’s fridge.

“One of those boxes better be my salad,” Lena murmurs, taking in Kara’s obnoxiously pink windbreaker and ripped jeans. Her jitters start to return in full force as Kara edges her way into Lena’s apartment and leans forward to kiss her cheek.

“Hey,” Kara says, ignoring Lena’s comment about the food. “You look nice.”

Blue eyes rake slowly down Lena’s fairly bland skirt and blouse combination. It’s what she’d worn to work that day and had been too lazy to change out of upon returning home. There’s a smirk on Kara’s face as she finishes her once-over and moves to set the bag on to the kitchen counter.

“It’s my normal work clothes,” Lena says dryly, passing a hand down her side to even out a crinkle there. “Hardly anything to write home about.”

Kara tsks as she pulls boxes out of the bags and shoots Lena a smile. “Yeah, but I know what you look like underneath it all.”

It should be alarming how much Lena’s body reacts to that, to the look in Kara’s eye and the way her jacket rides up as she sets out all the food.

“Would you control yourself?” Lena scolds, fighting her blush as she makes her way to the wine cooler and searches for something to drink. Kara hasn’t been indulging on account of her pain medication and general rehab, but that’s not going to stop Lena from putting something in her hand lest she grab for Kara.

“I’m not allowed to be honest?” Kara says, trying to look innocent and failing. She sets the last box out and leans on the counter, watching Lena with playful eyes. It’s as if the shift in their relationship – or maybe just the acknowledgement of it – has just made Kara all the more flirty.

Or maybe Lena’s just far more responsive to it now that she doesn’t have to hold back.

Setting the bottle of wine on the counter, Lena regards her, unimpressed for a moment. “You’re trying to get a rise out of me.”

Kara shrugs, her smug looking smile the kind of irritating that makes Lena want to kiss her. “I can’t help it that you’re just super pretty and I don’t feel like I have to pretend I don’t notice anymore.”

It’s impossible not to be swayed by the honest quiet of Kara’s voice. Lena’s only human. The warm, soft feeling she’d spent so much time before trying to avoid wraps around her so tightly she sighs a little and steps into Kara’s space.

“You’re a flirt,” Lena accuses, though her tone lacks any kind of censure. Her fingers play with the strings of Kara’s jacket as she turns to face Lena.

“I’ve told you before,” Kara says, her palm hot as it finds a place at Lena’s back. “They’re not lines, just the truth.”

It feels a bit overwhelming when Kara threads forward and kisses her. Lena didn’t think her attraction towards Kara could get any more intense, but it turns out mutually confessing their feelings has done wonders for the way Kara’s lips feel.

Kara’s hands feel strong when they take purchase on her hips and when her back presses into the edge of her countertop, she starts to forget why they’re not supposed to be doing this.

Kissing can’t hurt, right? It’s just kissing.

One of them makes a noise, Lena’s not sure which of them does. All she can focus on is the way Kara’s fingers are playing with the waist of her skirt and the feel of their hips coming together. It’s when Lena realizes her fingers have worked their way between them to Kara’s belt buckle that she remembers herself and pulls away.

“We can’t,” she gasps out, breaking off from Kara’s lips and turning her head when Kara chases after her.

“We’re just kissing,” Kara insists, her mouth close to Lena’s ear, voice heated. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not going to be in a few minutes,” Lena says, unable to stop the way her neck cranes as Kara continues to press kisses down her throat.

“Doesn’t it feel like now that we shouldn’t do something, it’s all you want to do?” Kara murmurs and it’s like the throbbing feeling in Lena’s gut answers for her.

“The food’s getting cold,” Lena says, pushing at Kara’s shoulders. Gratefully, Kara obeys the motion and pulls back. There’s a little pout forming on Kara’s lips – the adorable exaggerated kind that Kara punctuates with puppy-dog blue eyes, but all it does is make Lena laugh and push her again.

Clearly, this whole injury-forced abstinence thing is going to be harder than she had given thought to before. It shouldn’t surprise her. She’d spent months trying not to sleep with Kara and all she seemed to do was fail. A lot.

Kara makes an exaggerated noise of complaint but laughs along with Lena and presses a swift and much more platonic kiss to Lena’s mouth before moving to the cabinet where Lena stores her plates. “I got you your salad, but I also got other stuff which you should eat because salads are boring. Even if they’re really just a sneaky way to eat cheese.”

Lena shoots her a look, but takes a plate when Kara offers.

--

The game isn’t great – though that’s been a theme of the Lakehawks season ever since Kara’s injury. The first quarter is a mess. Kara spends a lot of it uttering curses and at one point nearly throws a fork at the television before Lena catches the motion and stops her.

By the second quarter, Kara seems keen on spending her energy on berating her team and just about every person on the television.  

“Just run a pick-and-roll, or feed the post, or something,” Kara complains, letting her head fall back on the couch in exasperation. “When nothing is working, go back to fundamentals. That’s not rocket science.”

Lena’s actually an expert in rocket science and yet has no idea what pick and roll means or why you’d be feeding anything during a basketball game. She’s notably more versed in the sport than she’d been months ago, but some of its intricacies still elude her.

“That’s a relative idiom,” she points out.

Kara turns to her and Lena can’t help but watch the play of muscle in Kara’s shoulder, the way her neck strains with the motion. Yet again, Lena finds herself struggling against desire. Against the attractive way Kara always looks and the reminder that it’s been over a month since they last had sex. Their entanglement in the kitchen certainly didn’t help in putting out any internal fires.

“A pick-and-roll is a block that gets a shooter free,” Kara says, snapping her fingers a little. “Now that you’re dating a superstar, you have to know these things. That’s the rules.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize,” Lena says drolly, laughing a little when Kara rolls her eyes. The reminder that she and Kara are dating draws heat into her spine. “Educate me then.”

Kara picks up the tablet Lena has sitting on the coffee table and swipes it open to find a drawing program with a blank document. “I’ll show you,” she says, starting to draw what looks like half a basketball court on the screen.

“Kara, I don’t want to pull you away from the game,” Lena protests, half because she doesn’t care that much and half because it feels like an unnecessarily complicated thing to explain.

“Frankly,” Kara says, turning from the tablet to regard Lena. “I could use something to focus on that isn’t the shitty way my team is playing or the way your legs look right now.”

It’s like a hot brand across her chest. Lena’s lips go dry as blue eyes sweep down her body and she adjusts her skirt where it falls near her knee.

“I’m sorry,” Lena says, for lack of a better reply and Kara’s eyes go dark.

“Don’t be,” she replies. “I mean, it’s nice. But I think if I did what I wanted to you, my back wouldn’t recover for probably another three months and then where would the Lakehawks be?”

Lena swallows and tries not to imagine what Kara would do if she weren’t injured, where her hands might go, where they might end up. Her eyes venture to the patio that sits outside her living room and a memory sparks heat down her spine. “Very wise,” Lena agrees, but the words come out throaty and inviting.

Kara takes a breath, smiles crookedly. “Stop looking like that,” she tells her.

It’s not really her fault. Her whole apartment is like that. When she looks away from the patio, it’s towards the chair in the corner and her thighs ache with the memory of sitting atop Kara there. Then to the couch they’re currently on, the many times they’ve tangled together across its cushions. Even the floor.

“I can’t help it,” she admits, a tad unapologetic. There’s something about Kara’s helpless reaction to her that makes her feel satisfied and powerful. Kara was right. Now that she can’t have it, it feels like it’s the only thing she wants.

Kara looks at her, stares really and Lena can make out the careful way she’s breathing.

Abandoning the tablet back to the coffee table, Kara scoots back on the couch and crooks her head to the side. “Come here,” she says and Lena’s eyes go a bit wide. She hadn’t expected Kara to give in that easily – or at all.

“Kara,” she warns. “We went over th –”

“Not for that,” Kara dismisses, reaching over and tugging at Lena’s arm.

Kara doesn’t look entirely trustworthy, but part of Lena stopped caring somewhere after the third memory she’d had of Kara pushing her down onto the floor and making her see stars. So she slides down the couch until her knees are bumping into Kara’s.

In a motion Lena barely registers, Kara scoops her hand behind Lena’s calves and pulls until her legs are in Kara’s lap, a hot palm holding them there strongly. Lena yelps a little, nearly falls back onto the couch, but manages to stay upright and glare a bit at the laugh on Kara’s face.

“What are you doing?” Lena says, warily, but enjoying the warm way they’re pressing together now. Kara’s thumb strokes the skin of Lena’s leg as it moves towards her knee.

“Just because I’m out of commission, doesn’t mean -”

Lena captures Kara’s fingers before she can finish that sentence, the intent obvious in the way Kara’s eyes have gone dark and hooded.

“Yes, it does,” Lena says, though her body thoroughly disagrees with her. The second she realized what Kara was offering it was like her stomach starting doing backflips.

“No, it doesn’t,” Kara insists even as she stills her hand and doesn’t try for more.

“Kara, there’s absolutely no good reason to risk your back for something like that,” Lena says, her mouth feeling dry at the thought of allowing Kara to slide her hand up further and do whatever she had planned.

“I can think of a few good reasons,” Kara replies, her eyes darting down and then back up.

Lena swallows thickly. “Kara,” she warns lowly, but she can feel her resolve slipping. Her hand shifts where it’s still holding Kara’s and her skirt hikes up with the motion.

“I swear I feel fine,” Kara says, but when she moves as if to get closer, Lena catches the slight wince on her face and that alone cools just about everything in Lena’s body.

“You do not,” Lena says, managing to scoot her legs back off Kara’s lap and push Kara back into the cushions. “I saw that face.”

“It just tweaks sometimes,” Kara says, sounding like a whine. “It’s really fine.”

“I’m sure,” Lena says dryly, turning back towards the TV. Kara’s arm is perched on the top of the couch and Lena backs up into the crook of her shoulder, enjoying the way Kara’s hand drops to her arm and they press against each other.

They’ve never really done this. Sat on the couch this closely for something as benign as watching television. Certainly never been this close during waking hours if it wasn’t leading to something else.

It feels good. The kind of good Lena could find herself becoming far too used to. And if that wasn’t an indication of how much of her life has changed…

“Now come on,” Lena says, adjusting her skirt before letting her hand settle on Kara’s thigh. “Explain to me this pick and roll stuff.”

Kara laughs, but does just that and Lena lets herself sink into the intelligent sound of Kara’s voice and the warm solid feeling of her body.

In the end, the Lakehawks pull off a win somehow – Kara’s astonishment is matched only by her exuberance at the thirty points M’gann manages to score. Even though she might not have been on the court, Kara gets the beginnings of her usual victory flush that Lena finds so attractive.

It makes her want to climb on top of Kara and take back her earlier denials, but she swallows thickly against desire and just enjoys the glow of Kara’s aura.

--

They fall back into old habits. Or maybe it’s really that they’d never truly abandoned them in the first place.

It’s a careful dance of watching Lakehawks games and private dinners, of late night kissing that they’re mindful not to let go too far.

Lena can’t help but marvel at how it fails to feel any different than what they were doing before. The only thing that’s changed, perhaps, is that Lena no longer spends her time fighting the grip Kara seems to have on her heart. There’s no ache in the pit of her stomach when Kara smiles at her, reaches for her across a couch, or kisses her goodbye.

It all feels almost too good to be true. And Lena does her best not to let her usual pessimism break the spell.

For a while, it works.

--

The last home game of the regular season comes against the Dallas Demons on a Saturday night. Kara’s finally been given the green light from Cat to attend a game. “I think she’s been worried I’ll just grab the ball and sub myself in or something,” Kara had grumbled when trying to explain why Cat had all but barred her from previous games.

“Cat knows you pretty well,” Lena had joked and though Kara rolled her eyes, she didn’t disagree.

Some of Kara’s energy starts to rub off on Lena – it’s like she’s looking forward to the game just as much as Kara is. Even though Kara won’t be playing, just being a part of the game again is making both of them buzz with excitement. Kara heads to the arena early to join in on pregame meetings, but not without kissing Lena so thoroughly she has to redo her makeup before heading out herself.

As is custom, she and Jack grab dinner at a steakhouse before the game and she realizes with no small amount of wonder that it’s likely the last time she’ll be doing this until next season. There are the playoffs, sure, but as every sports announcer’s reminded her all week, there are no guarantees in the playoffs.

“Can’t believe the season’s coming to an end,” Jack comments as if reading her thoughts. He cuts into his ribeye and laughs a little. “Feels like just yesterday you were complaining about your new responsibilities.”

She kicks him lightly under the table but doesn’t disagree. It feels like the season went by so quickly and yet when she thinks of where she was months ago when she’d first taken on the Lakehawks, so much has changed.

Certainly, there’s the obvious.

When she had first researched the team, looking at pictures and statlines on the Lakehawks’s star player, it was one thing. There was no shortage of information on Kara – on how she came up in the league, and the long list of accolades she’d accrued at a young age.

But all that research didn’t prepare her for knowing what it’s like to wake up in the morning to find Kara already watching early morning ESPN with the sound off, what it’s like to share satisfied smiles over cups of coffee and the very personal knowledge of what Kara’s strength feels like up close and personal.

It definitely didn’t prepare her for finding that she’s grown to enjoy the routine of going to Lakehawks games – even if she still hasn’t gained a passion for basketball.   

“I’m almost sad it’s over,” she admits and Jack smiles.

“Ah, it’s nearly the playoffs, love. It’s not really over. It’s only just begun.”

When they make it to the arena, it’s packed. Even with the Lakehawks’ recent stumbles, fans still show up in droves to cheer them on. The music is thumping loudly as she and Jack take their seats, warmups well under way.

Players fly around the court. Lucy gives Lena a wave when she spots them and then does a very complicated looking hand signal at Jack that he returns easily. She shakes her head at them.

It’s still quite odd to watch the Lakehawks on the court and not see Kara, but something settles in her chest knowing she’s at least somewhere in the building. Knowing she’ll be at the end of the bench tonight instead of at home watching the game gives Lena some small measure of comfort.

Kara isn’t there for the tip-off, but Lena knows the moment she’s walked out onto the court to take her seat. It’s like the whole stadium lets out a collective breath the minute she appears. There’s no fanfare announcing her return, but everyone notices – a smattering of applause swells until she gives a half-hearted wave to the crowd.

The game goes well. It seems even just having Kara on the bench does something to the Lakehawks confidence. They handle the Demons fairly easily and put them on the defensive early in the game.

Cat stalks up and down the court and Lena enjoys the return of Kara’s voice to the variety of things Cat shouts at her players. On more than one occasion, Kara stands to reiterate something Cat’s yelled out, gesturing with her hands at Eve to switch sides of the court, or get back on defense. A few times she gestures so vigorously that Lena can see the clear wince, followed by the athletic trainer forcing her down by her shoulder. It makes Lena worry, but the sense of comfort at having Kara in the arena again overwhelms it.

After half, Lena can’t help but notice that Kara doesn’t return to the bench and a short text informs her why: spending the second half up in your suite if you want to join me.

It pulls an urge through Lena to stand up and do just that. They’ve never watched a game together in this arena. Not really. And there’s something about Kara up in the suite by herself that has Lena weighing her options.

Jack is yelling something at the game, far forward on his chair, and Lena looks up to see Lucy picking Alex up off the court as the ref makes a sign with his hand towards the scorer’s table and the announcer’s voice booms personal foul, Thirteen. Two shots.

“Damn right that was a foul,” Jack says, sitting back in his seat. Lena’s eyes draw up halfcourt to where she knows the owner’s box sits. It’s too far for her to really see anything clearly, but her gaze drifts there nonetheless.

“Say, Jack,” she says quietly as Alex lines up at the free throw line.

He makes a noise to indicate he’s listening, but doesn’t waver his gaze from the game, fist pumping when Alex’s sinks her first shot.

“I think I might head up to the suite level for a bit,” she tells him and that, at least, draws his attention, brow furrowed as he turns.

“You’re what?”

“I’m thinking about going up to the suite level,” she says, keeping her voice low. Alex makes her second free throw and jogs backwards down the court to play defense.

“The suite level,” Jack repeats, looking skeptical. “Do you even know how to get there?”

“Of course, I know how to get there,” Lena says, a touch offended even if she’s lying. It’s not like she can’t just ask the first security guard she sees and find it easily enough. “I just – James messaged me saying there’s a guest he’d like me to meet. Will you be alright down here?”

“Sure,” Jack says. He promptly gets distracted by Maggie draining a three far beyond the line, standing up and yelling loudly. She waits for the next break in play, and brushes past him towards the courtside lounge and the exit that leads to the rest of the arena.

An attendant lets her into the owner’s suite and she’s happy to find it completely empty apart from Kara, who turns to greet her with a grin as she enters. She’s standing at the island where snacks are laid out, digging through a cup of trail mix, watching the in-suite television with statistics laid out.

“Hey,” Kara says, walking forward. She’s wearing dark wash jeans and a perfectly pressed sport coat over a black collared shirt. The buttons are undone enough to expose the strong cut of her collarbone and though Lena’d seen all this when Kara had taken the court, it’s certainly another beast up close and personal.

“Hi,” Lena murmurs, her body growing hot when Kara presses in close and drops a swift, sweet kiss to her cheek. Almost light enough to appear platonic to anyone who might catch it – not that there’s anyone who can see them up here anyway.

It leaves Lena wanting for more. She hopes her cheeks aren’t red.

“Thanks for coming up,” Kara says. “If I was left alone, I think I might’ve just eaten everything in sight out of nerves.”

Lena hums, lets Kara lead her by the hand to a row of seats on the edge of the box. It’s dipped far enough into the suite that other box level guests can’t see them, but they still have a good view of the court. “What made you want to watch from up here?”

A sheepish sounding noise escapes Kara’s throat as she admits, “Apparently, I was annoying Cat.”

It makes Lena laugh. “What did you do?”

Wincing, Kara laughs at herself. “I might have mentioned a few times that she should play me,” Kara says and Lena can imagine it perfectly – thinks maybe she caught wind of Kara saying just that in the first half.

“A few times,” Lena parrots, amused and knowing enough that Kara flushes.

“Maybe every time she passed me.”

“She’s going to sit you just to piss you off,” Lena tells her, not putting it past Cat Grant at all.

“I know,” Kara whines, slouching in her chair. If it hadn’t been clear before that her injury was nearly fully healed, it was now. A month ago, hell a week ago, Kara wouldn’t have been able to stand that position. “I just want to play.”

“All in due time, darling,” Lena says softly, reaching over to touch Kara’s thigh. The muscle there ticks as Kara bounces her leg the slightest. “What are the doctors saying?”

Kara huffs. “I’m not cleared for full game contact yet,” she admits. “I mean it’s fully healed, I have like zero pain, it’s not even really tweaking, but they want to wait. I can work out, just not practice or play yet. Say it’s not good to jump the gun.”

Lena’s inclined to agree and is about to say as much when Kara levels a look her direction that her body responds to before her brain registers it.

“And no sex for at least another week,” Kara adds in a whisper that has Lena crossing her legs, “At least that’s what they said - that I should wait until I’m cleared for a game to indulge in extra-curricular activities.”

A tad scandalized, Lena gapes at her, trying not to laugh at the exaggerated wiggle of Kara’s eyebrows. “You asked them about that?”

Shamelessly, Kara shrugs. “Of course I did.”

“Kara,” Lena scolds, feeling her cheeks warm.

“What? It’s important information,” she says. “I’ve had a girlfriend for like a month and I’ve been totally out of commission. It’s practically a Greek tragedy.”

It shouldn’t flutter something so appealing in her chest to hear the word girlfriend, but it does.

“We’ve had sex before,” Lena points out, primly adjusting her skirt and leaning into the armrest between them.

Kara shifts, her arm coming to sit on the back of Lena’s chair. “That’s what makes it worse.”

At Lena’s little noise of indignation, Kara laughs. “How so?”

“I’m not imagining things we could do,” Kara explains, voice low, and the suite starts to feel hot. “I’m remembering things we’ve already done.”

Lena has to lick her lips, the proximity of Kara’s body and the topic of conversation are affecting her ability to concentrate. “You have a point,” she says softly, knowing she’s struggled with the same thing. Kara’d been right. Knowing she shouldn’t do something is somehow making it all the more desirable.

“I mean, there’s the stuff we did in Tokyo over the Olympics, or that time in my car after that Evergreens game, or that one time –”

“I get it,” Lena interrupts grabbing the fingers Kara’d been holding up as she started her list and laughing. It’s hard to ignore how how visceral all those memories come back to her. “Stop talking about that here.”

“I’m just saying,” Kara says, sounding not nearly as affected as Lena, but one glance at her face and Lena knows that not to be the case. “I’m accustomed to a certain lifestyle and this injury is really cramping it.”

The crowd below them lets out a roar and they both turn back to the game to witness Alex side stepping a fallen defender and neatly draining a three. The sudden reminder of where they are does a little to settle the liquid in Lena’s stomach.

“Atta girl, Alex,” Kara says under her breath, a little fist pump accompanying the words.

A glance at the scoreboard shows that the Lakehawks are starting to pull away, like the team is playing better just because Kara is in the building. Lena knows it probably isn’t that simple, but she likes the thought anyway.

“Do you have any plans for postgame?” Lena asks. Kara doesn’t answer, focused as she is on the court. Lena has to nudge her in the shoulder to gather her attention. When Kara startles and looks at her, Lena raises an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” Kara says, a smile appearing on her face. “What’d you say?”

“Is this our future?” Lena asks drily. Kara shrugs, her mouth opening just as the door behind them swings open loudly and so suddenly that Lena jumps in her seat.

“KD!” a voice calls out and Lena nearly shoves Kara away in an attempt to make things appear – not how they are. When she turns to look, it’s Winn, carrying a phone and a battery, his press credentials swinging from his neck as he strides further into the suite.

Lena stands as he approaches and puts some distance between her and Kara who she manages to hear mumble natural under her breath. Winn looks surprised to see her, but moves quickly past it with a polite, “Miss Luthor. I didn’t realize you were up here as well. Sorry to interrupt.”

It doesn’t mean anything – Lena tries hard to remind herself of that fact. Winn’s not leaping to any conclusions because she so happens to be in her own suite with Kara. But the thought is there, however brief and Lena runs her palms down her hips in an effort to still the small shake in her hands. “You weren’t interrupting anything,” she says and barely restrains from swatting Kara when the other woman makes a soft noise in her throat.

Kara stands as well, much more calmly than Lena’d managed and shoots Winn a charming smile. “Did you need something?”

Winn still looks – well not confused – but his eyes dart between both of them like there’s something to see there. Lena shifts under the knowledge that there definitely is something to see, but she manages to school her expression into something neutral. “Yeah, sorry,” Winn says, shaking his head and putting on a more casual smile. “Need some pics for the ‘gram.”

He holds up his phone to Kara and she looks down at herself, “Should have told me, I’d have dressed up.”

It takes some effort not to reply to that, Lena arches a brow at Kara’s outfit regardless and tries to ignore the smug way Kara looks when she glances over. Winn laughs.

“Oh please, you totally rock the injury chic look,” he says, fiddling with his phone.

“Injury chic,” Kara repeats with amused looks for both Winn and Lena.

Lena tries very hard not to feel like her heart is beating loud enough for Winn to hear – it reminds her of a moment right after she’d first slept with Kara. They’d been standing in a hallway and approached by Winn for similar reasons. Even then, Lena felt like she’d been wearing a sign that read I fucked Kara Danvers. Now she isn’t even doing such a thing and it still feels that way.

“Don’t question my genius,” Winn tells Kara, finger pointed at her sternly. “Now go lean against something and look cool.”

“Ah, my specialty,” Kara jokes drily, a roll of her eyes for Lena punctuated by a wink that has her darting her eyes to Winn and grateful to find him absorbed in his phone.

As ordered, Kara strides to the railing at the edge of the suite and leans there, hands propping her up and affecting a smirking expression that Lena’s far too familiar with. Just like that, Lena’s reminded of what makes Kara Danvers so irresistible in the first place – it has surprisingly little to do with how well she plays on the court. Winn makes little ooooooh noises of approval as he snaps his shots and it does enough to break Lena from her spell.

“Got it?” Kara asks, standing up from her position and propping her hands on her hips.

Winn nods, scrolling through the pictures on his phone. “Oh yeah, for sure, those are great,” he says, almost to himself. Lena catches Kara’s little self-satisfied looks and shoots her an unimpressed one until they share a secretive smile.

“Great,” Lena says, drawing Winn’s attention. It turns out to be the wrong thing to do because it’s as if he just remembers she’s there. His face going suddenly delighted.

“Hey, we should get one of the two of you,” he says, and dread hits in Lena’s chest out of nowhere.

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” she manages to say, happy with the calm, even way it comes out.

“Fans love that kind of stuff,” he says, waving her over to where Kara is standing insistently. “Trust me. Owner player friendships are all the rage these days. Personal interest story and all that.”

Lena’s mouth feels a little dry and Kara doesn’t help – when she looks over, Kara just shrugs like she agrees with the idea and Lena has no choice but to go along with it.

She makes sure to keep a respectable professional distance between them when she walks over to where Kara is, but Winn tsks at her immediately.

“You have to act like you like each other,” he instructs, making a gesture for them to get closer. “Come on, that pic of you guys at the gala got like a bajillion likes. I know you’re capable.”

The anecdote surprises Lena enough that she doesn’t notice Kara’s arm snaking over her shoulders to pull her in closer.

“Nice,” Winn says, already looking through his camera phone and adjusting something there.

“Take the picture, Winn,” Kara says good-naturedly as she jostles Lena a bit.

Lena manages to smile and hopes her cheeks aren’t very flushed in the picture. Winn seems satisfied after only a few shots and he makes a pleased sound. “Awesome, guys, thanks,” he says and doesn’t even look at them as he turns to leave.

Even though he’s gone, and they’re left alone again, Lena breaks out of Kara’s hold like they’re being watched and paces a respectable distance away. An undeniable grasp of anxiety has taken hold of her throat and she knows it’s irrational, but she doesn’t know how to make it go away.

“What’s wrong?” Kara asks, soft like if she talks too loud Lena might bolt.

Frankly, she might be onto something.  

But Lena doesn’t know how to articulate what she’s feeling so she dismisses the question with a shake of her head and leans against a far wall further into the suite from where Kara’s standing. “Nothing.”

“That went fine, so what’s got you looking so spooked?” Kara says, advancing towards her but staying a few feet away.

“I’m not spooked,” Lena denies, scoffing at the suggestion as much as she can.

Kara has a look on her face caught between knowing and sad. “Is it Winn? Because he’s harmless.”

A loud roar erupts from the crowd below them and they both turn to see a replay of M’gann shooting a roughly contested three over a Dallas player’s hand. “Let’s go,” Kara intones in an excited thrill of the word. The delight on her face washes some of Lena’s lingering unease away.

There’s a small beer cooler on the side of the suite and Lena heads for it while Kara’s distracted, opens it and inspects the contents just for something to do. “Do you want a drink?”

Kara laughs, comes up behind her. “I’m technically working,” she says, leaning on the counter next to the cooler and looking at Lena with a searching look. “But you should if you want.”

Straightening, Lena decides against the drink and closes the door. It thuds loudly in the room and she tries not to jump, but feels skittish nonetheless.

“Okay, Crazy,” Kara says, reaching out to grab for Lena’s hand. “Tell me what’s up.”

The touch of Kara’s fingers both soothes her and ramps up her nerves, but Lena swallows against the feeling and tries to get her brain to settle down. “I’m fine, I just…I don’t know.”

Kara waits a moment. Observes Lena critically, her eyes darting to the door Winn just exited through. “You know, it’s not like either of us are wearing tattoos on our foreheads declaring our love for each other,” she says, hitting it right on the head.

It makes Lena irritated that Kara can read through her so easily. Irritated and yet warm.

“I know that,” she snaps, but obeys the tug of Kara’s hand when she pulls her in closer.

“Winn’s so oblivious, I could mount you in front of him and he probably wouldn’t notice,” she adds, a teasing quirk of her lips that almost does the trick to make Lena relax, but falls short.

“No one is that oblivious,” Lena points out, trying to get the edge out of her voice, but failing.

“It’s just an expression,” Kara says needlessly, voice quiet and concerned. The sound of it coupled with the look on Kara’s face starts to beat at the tension in Lena’s chest. “Eventually people are going to know.”

Rationally, she knows that. Knows that they’re not going to keep it a secret forever. That’s a ridiculous notion.

But Lena wants to savor the privacy for as long as possible. She doesn’t want to deal with the fallout until she absolutely can’t avoid it any longer. So the threat of it all coming down – even the smallest most insignificant one – has her shaking with adrenaline.

“I’m not ready for that,” she says, her voice sterner than she really means it to, but she doesn’t correct it. “Not right now.”

Kara’s lips thin, but she doesn’t argue. “I know you’re not. I told you before, I’m not looking to make some kind of announcement,” she says, her thumb over Lena’s knuckles. “But if you start acting weird around me now, that’s going to be more telling than anything else.”

Lena gives her a look, all ready to deny what Kara’s saying, but Kara pushes on.

“We’ve been seen out together. People know we’re friends. You start acting differently and that’s going to be the story. You want to keep it hush hush, then just relax,” Kara says, her voice entreating.

It takes a deep breath, but Lena tries to do as Kara’s saying. The rational part of her brain acknowledges the truth here. She’s more likely to make headlines jumping away and avoiding Kara than she is just being normal.

“You should know that I’m historically terrible at relaxing,” Lena points out, allowing her lips to quirk upward.

“That’s okay,” Kara says, pulling Lena even closer until they’re in each other’s airspace. “I’m an expert at it.”

Lena hums, doubts that to be true from what she’s heard and seen of Kara’s work ethic, but she’s nevertheless charmed by the look in Kara’s eye and can’t stop from smiling. It has Kara smiling too, but just as she noses forward as if to kiss her, Lena puts her hand up to stop it, pulling away and pushing at Kara’s lips with her fingers.

“Just, don’t kiss me here,” Lena says, but her fingers trace softly to Kara’s jaw. “There have to be some rules.”

Kara laughs, but obeys. “You have a thing for rules, don’t you?”

“Structure is important,” Lena says, lips thinning to stop from laughing as well.

“Or you just like someone telling you what to do,” Kara says, voice low and suggestive. Enough so that Lena pushes her away and scoffs, even as her cheeks warm.

“Okay, rule number two, no saying stuff like that here either.”

“You’re no fun,” Kara says, but her laugh says otherwise.

--

The picture is up on the Lakehawks Instagram by the time she and Jack are ordering amaretto sours at the bar after the game. Jack laughs loudly when he sees it, showing it to Lena with a look of pure glee. “So this was the guest James was so eager you meet?”

Lena doesn’t reply in favor of watching the television behind the bar, but she can’t stop the smile at his delighted laughter.

“You two look good,” he comments as the chuckles taper off and Lena can’t disagree, glancing at the picture again.

Kara’s got her arm around Lena and her other propped on the railing. They look friendly enough and not nearly as incriminating as Lena might have felt. Lena’s expression actually manages to look normal, her smile the kind she usually reserves for public pictures of the sort, but softer.

 “I’m making this my phone background,” Jack teases and she swats at him.

“Shut up, Jack.”

--

The season ends with the Lakehawks dramatically clinging to a wild card spot in the playoffs after having dropped to third in the West. It’s the worst end to a season the team has apparently seen in three years.

“That sucks,” Kara grumbles as they catch the standings on a late night rerun of SportsCenter.

“We’ve still made the playoffs,” Lena points out, leaning back against the couch and swirling the wine in her glass. It’s what she’s kept hearing around Lakehawks offices. Their ranking might not be great, but they’re still in the race. She’d even heard a few people mentioning it might be better to sit lower on the standings – something about seeding and favorable matchups.

“Barely,” Kara adds, and Lena tuts at her, focusing on the tablet in her lap that’s displaying plans for an update to the Model L cars.

“You should try to be more positive,” she says, swiping through schematics and idly making notes in the margin for her morning meeting.

“I am positive,” Kara defends, standing and stretching her arms above her head, it pulls Lena’s attention from the blueprints in her lap. In the past few days, Kara’s seemed to reach the tail end of her recovery process. Most of her mobility has returned and apart from a few random tweaks and occasional soreness after workouts, she’s back to working order. “Positive that if we don’t figure our shit out, we’re going to have problems.”

“They’ll figure it out,” Lena says, though her mind has wandered away from her. Kara’s stretching out her neck and moving her back around and Lena’s eyes follow the motions. Kara’s fingers are scratching her stomach, her shirt riding up enough to reveal the low hang of her joggers and Lena licks her lips unconsciously.

We shouldn’t. We shouldn’t. We shouldn’t.

Lena’s brain tries valiantly to remind her of all the reasons they can’t do this, but with the absence of her usual monologue – it’s too messy, too complicated, she doesn’t feel the same – Lena’s body can’t seem to agree.

She must stare too long because when her eyes rake back up to blue ones, there’s a smug look on Kara’s face that only sends heat between Lena’s legs.

“Hi,” Kara says, voice liquid and smug. “You okay?”

Unwilling to admit where her thoughts had wandered, Lena straightens and goes for unaffected with a simple, “Yep.” She turns back to her tablet and swipes to her inbox, pulling up an e-mail from one of her techs suggesting a tweak to the assisted steering program.

Kara sits back down on the couch, her arm coming to rest over the top of it. “You know, my back feels good. Really good even,” Kara points out as if the information is benign and not an invitation.

There’s something about the way Kara taps her fingers mindlessly against the couch cushion that makes Lena want to squirm. “I’m happy for you,” Lena says, taking a long sip of wine and trying to focus on the few lines of code she’s reviewing on her tablet.

“Feels like I could do athletic things,” Kara says with emphasis on the word and a funny waggle of her eyebrows that makes Lena laugh.

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” she says, nudging Kara with her elbow and rolling her eyes when Kara makes a feigned expression of pain.

“Oh you’ll see it,” Kara says and it could have sounded suggestive, but she shoots a phantom basketball in the air and celebrates the fake shot and it’s so endearing Lena’s chest feels heavy with the weight of Kara’s smile.

--

There’s a two-week break between the last game of the regular season and the first of the playoffs. Kara’s finally allowed to practice with the team again – though it’s very medium intensity from what Lena’s gathered and next to no contact. Not because Kara couldn’t handle it, but rather a desire not to risk her before it's necessary. Regardless, it’s given Kara a renewed sense of energy and purpose that’s almost palpable.

Lakehawks social media has been all over practice. There are near daily if not hourly videos of Kara running drills with the rest of the team and a few in the weight room.

It’s been a new experience to pause over those videos of Kara and not feel guilty - she’s able to linger over the looping image of Kara throwing a medicine ball against a wall or jumping up onto a black box for a few long seconds and not fight the quick spike of heat.

Early into the break, Lena has a meeting with James, Cat and J’onn at Luthor Corp Arena. It’s partly a season-wrap up meeting, but largely a discussion about the playoffs. Apparently the “new season” of the playoffs requires new promos for the team and some individual players, as well as a number of other little details Lena hadn’t considered would require her oversight.

One of the tasks ends up being choosing between a slew of team and individual player photos. It’s one of the easier endeavors Lena’s ever faced – picking which promo shot of Kara staring down the camera and looking deadly they’re going to use for the stadium banners.

If she takes a few of them home that night to muse over her decision, no one has to know the real reason.

--

Though they see less of each other now that Kara’s back in full practice and focused on returning to help her team defend their championship, they still make an effort to connect when they can. Even if it’s late night dinners at Kara’s apartment or a phone call as Lena’s sliding into bed.

A few days before the playoffs are set to officially start, Kara calls to invite Lena to dinner, but just before Lena’s set to suggest a local Indian place for takeout, Kara’s clarifying, “No, I think we should like go out to dinner.”

At Lena’s long pause, Kara adds, “If you want to.”

“Of course I’d like to have dinner with you,” Lena says carefully, wide-eyed at the idea of appearing in public together like that. “I just…”

“Lena, we’ve had dinner out together before and it was fine,” Kara says, cutting to the heart of it easily and sounding far too logical for Lena to disagree with her. “But if it freaks you out too much, I can grab us takeout.”

“No, you’re right,” she says quietly and forces the rest of her brain to agree. Kara is right. The very first time they hung out together was out at dinner. She hadn’t worried too much about it then - had worried more about doing something that would draw attention to how good she thought Kara looked in a blazer. Logically, she knows that she’s being paranoid. And she wants to not be.

“Great,” Kara says, so joyfully that Lena smiles. “I’ll pick you up at eight.”

--

They end up at a small, unassuming barbeque joint far out of downtown. It’s the kind of place Lena can imagine her mother turning her nose up at, but Kara navigates her way through the web of side streets around the place easily enough, and walks into the place as if it’s a second home, holding the door open for Lena to enter first.

A stout older gentleman wearing a dirtied apron and a white chef’s hat comes out to greet them as they’re sat at a table, his eyes wide with delight and arms outstretched. “Where the hell have you been, Superstar?”

“Trying to win championships, Albie,” Kara replies, standing to greet him. They hug, laughing like old friends and Lena idles by her seat, unsure of what to do. When they disengage, the man turns to look at Lena, his eyebrows waggling. “And you brought a pretty girl, I see.”

Laughing, Kara gestures to Lena. “This is Lena Luthor,” she introduces and Lena politely extends her hand. He doesn’t seem to react to her name other than smiling widely and shifting towards her.

Two beefy hands take hold of hers and shake it enthusiastically. “Always a pleasure to meet one of Kara’s friends,” he says and it looks like he means it. Lena can’t help but smile back, even though it feels like her already low-level nervousness has ratcheted up. “I”m Albert. Albert Foster.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Foster,” she say, falling on politeness out of habit.

“Oh please,” he says with a hearty laugh as he finally releases her hand. “Call me Albert.”

“Okay, Albert,” Lena says and Kara comes closer, her hand falling to Albert’s shoulder.

“This is Albert’s restaurant,” she tells Lena, a happy little smile on her face that actually does the trick of putting Lena somewhat at ease.

“Since 1908,” Albert pronounces with a proud puff of his chest.

“Best ribs in the whole city,” Kara adds, lowering her voice as if it’s a secret. There are only two other people in the entirety of the restaurant. For which Lena can’t deny she’s grateful.

“You’ve always been my best customer, Kara,” Albert says with undisguised affection in his voice. It makes Lena shift farther towards relaxing. “Now come on,” he says, gesturing to the table next to them. “Sit, sit, let me make you food.”

Kara obeys the command with a friendly laugh, and Lena follows suit. And then he’s gone, scuttling towards the kitchen and yelling something at a young man in a chef’s coat lingering near the entrance. The menu is small, consisting mostly of ribs, and burgers, but Lena can see why Kara would like it - it’s quiet, the bar is well-stocked, and there are masses of National City sports memorabilia all over the walls.

But she can’t help but notice how Albert looks at her when he comes back out of the kitchen with two bowls of coleslaw, like he’s watching her.

“So, Lena, how did you meet my very favorite basketball player?” Albert says, pulling out a pepper mill from his apron and starting to crack it over Kara’s bowl. Lena shifts in her side of the booth, unsure of how to answer that question. Kara is, of course, paying every bit of her attention to the appetizer before her, and it almost makes Lena laugh.

“We met at work,” Lena says, simple enough and wondering if Albert’s able to make the connection between her name and the Lakehawks.

He stops cracking pepper over Kara’s bowl and offers it to Lena, then, and she nods. He seems nice. She tries to tell herself that, tries to tell herself that Kara wouldn’t put them in a bad position intentionally. That this is nice. That Kara looks relaxed, and happy, and healthy, and she’s smiling at Lena. But it’s hard.

“Kara works too much,” Albert says, stopping after Lena raises her hand a little. He doesn’t slink away immediately though, slapping Kara on the shoulder and looking down at her. “I know because you eat so much and stay so small.”

“I feel like that’s not something you’d complain about,” Kara says, laughing.

“I worry, though, I worry,” Albert says, his hand on Kara’s shoulder and his smile kind. It warms Lena the slightest, seeing someone care so visibly at Kara. “Okay. You two, eat! I’ll make sure to give you an extra half rack of ribs before you go and some for your sister.”

“No, Albie, that’s  - ” Kara starts, but Albert is already rushing back toward the kitchen. He stops at the bar for just a second and asks the bartender to put the Harriers game on, throws a wink their way before he disappears.

“He seems nice,” Lena says, trying to just. Calm down. Kara’s foot bumps into hers under the table, her eyes focused on Lena’s.

“And he won’t say anything about us being here,” Kara says, arching a brow at Lena. “I’ve been coming here since my rookie year and he’s been nothing but discreet.”

Lena sighs at having been caught so easily, but she can feel her shoulders relax just the slightest anyway.

“Oh, so this is where you take all your secret lovers?” Lena jokes, trying to clear the anxiety out of her head, and Kara laughs.

“I’d love to say just you, but I did take Leslie here once,” Kara admits with a shrug of her shoulder. “And Diana, but I don’t think that counts. And I guess Sara too.”

“Well, so happy to know I’m special,” Lena says drily, rolling her eyes and reaching for her spoon.

“You should feel special,” Kara says. “I didn’t wear sweatpants like those other times. And I’ll hold your hand after.”

“Oh, wow, the romance,” Lena says, deadpan, and Kara smiles. “I feel like I’m the luckiest woman alive.”

 --

Dinner is pleasant and enjoyable in a way Lena didn’t really expect and it only makes her feel a bit guilty that she’d resisted it so much. Just like the first time they did this, Kara is the same devastating combination of smart, funny and attractive. Made worse by how much better they know each other now, how much more comfortable Lena is with the way Kara’s toes tap against her own ever so often.

The coleslaw is delicious - Kara goes on a five minute unimpeded rant about why exactly it is so delicious that has Lena laughing and endeared to the passionate way Kara goes on and on. They split a plate of ribs after Kara cajoles Lena into it and Lena finds herself unable to disagree with Kara’s earlier boast that they’re the best in the city. Not that Lena has much a barometer to measure such a statement.

All in all, it’s a different sort of experience than it has been sharing quiet dinners at home together. She doesn’t spend the majority of her time watching Kara’s every move, searching for winces of pain or discomfort. She doesn’t need to compete with the television for Kara’s attention even though there’s a Harriers game going into overtime on the television over the bar.

Kara listens to her talk about the plans rolling out for the Model L cars and the struggles of preparing a new patent filing for later that quarter, asks insightful questions about Lena’s work and looks at her intently the entire time like Lena’s the only thing worth paying attention to in the entire restaurant.

Lena does her best at returning the sentiment, indulging Kara when she goes on another five minute rant about the officiating mistakes in the last Lakehawks game and Lena’s surprised to find she can actually follow all the rules.

“So are you finally ready to admit you’re a basketball fan?” Kara teases after Lena makes a comment about the lack of clear unambiguous differentiation between a Flagrant 1 and a Flagrant 2.

“Never,” Lena returns - and it’s absolutely true. “Understanding something and liking it are two completely different things. We’ve been over this.”

Kara shrugs, leans back in her chair with a smug smile that Lena feels crawl up from her toes. “It’ll happen eventually.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” Lena says with a roll of her eyes that has Kara laughing and Lena’s stomach warming.

The restaurant remains relatively empty, but a few people come and go. As their dinner continues, Lena finds herself less and less concerned with the other patrons and becomes so wrapped up in Kara’s bubble that she forgets about Albert until he’s bustling up to the counter where Kara’s gone to pay their bill.

“Come on, come on, I need a new picture,” Albert says, holding a little polaroid camera up in the air and gesturing for them to get together. The hostess has Kara’s card already, is ringing it through and laughing at Albert’s enthusiasm. “You and your date, Superstar.”

Kara reaches for Lena and pulls her into her side immediately. Lena’s paranoia suddenly returns full force, crashing into her chest abruptly and making her limbs feel stiff.

“It’s for his wall,” Kara points out, drawing Lena’s attention to a wall behind the host stand full of polaroids. Even at first glance, Lena recognizes about six different people - most of them local celebrities. There’s an amusing photo of Alex, Kara, and a blonde woman who Lena thinks must be Eliza, Kara’s adopted mother, where they all have bibs on. It does absolutely nothing to settle the churn in Lena’s stomach.

“Yes, yes, come on,” Albert is saying, clearly waiting for Lena to smile. She does, and she can feel how fake it feels across her face, but reminds herself that making a scene would only make all of this worse. Albert doesn’t seem like he minds, shaking out the photo while Kara signs the check and reaches for Lena’s hand. Lena doesn’t even think about it, just pulls her hand away and turns to walk out the doors.

She hears Kara say bye to Albert, following after Lena with quick footsteps. She arrives at Lena’s side quickly, bumping their shoulders together.

“Hey,” Kara says, her voice soft. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?” Lena says, unable to keep the disdain out of her tone. She knows she’s being just - too much. Can feel how irrational the entire thing is, can hear Jack telling her you’re letting paranoia run your life.

The sound of Kara’s sigh is loud enough that Lena feels irritation take a tight grip of her throat and when Kara’s car unlocks as they near it, she maybe pops the door open a little more abruptly than normal, nearly hitting Kara when she tries to come over and open it for her.

“Lena,” Kara starts, but Lena’s already closing the door against her reply.  

With a lingering look from outside the car, Kara shakes her head slightly before rounding to the driver’s side and slipping in. Lena looks pointedly out the window and says nothing as Kara buckles in and turns the car on.

They get about two minutes away before Kara breaks the silence.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re mad or should I just start guessing?”

“I’m not mad,” Lena snaps in a snippy tone that she knows sounds ridiculous.

“Right,” Kara says, drawing the word out to show how much she believes it. “Clearly.”

It’s not helping Lena’s anger quell at all, the waves of anxiety wrapping around her chest tightening with how irrational she knows she’s being.

Kara glances at her a moment and when she speaks again, her voice is soft. “You know, it’s just a picture.”

Annoyed at the blase way Kara says it, Lena release a breath out her nose. “I don’t know how wise it is to have our picture plastered up on the wall of a restaurant right now.”

The car is silent a moment as National City passes them by outside and Lena squirms in the passenger seat, her arms crossed and trying desperately to stop the itch across her skin.

“Here’s the thing,” Kara says, the words slow and careful. “That kind of stuff happened all the time when we were just sleeping together.”

“It did not,” Lena denies immediately, though she knows Kara’s right.

“There were pictures of us at Hamilton, at that APT opening, at the Olympics,” Kara lists off, holding her fingers up as she says each one, but keeping her eye on the road. “And that’s all they were. Pictures.”

“Yes, and then it’s a pattern,” Lena says. “People want to know who you’re dating. People want to know who I’m dating. It wouldn’t be that hard to look at any of those pictures and get an idea. Get the right idea.”

“Okay,” Kara says, slowly. Lena expects something more, but silence comes back over them as Kara seems to be thinking, her hand tapping on the wheel.

“What are you doing?” Lena asks as Kara takes an unexpected turn and guides the car towards an empty parking lot.

“Parking so we can talk about this,” Kara says, throwing the car into park and unbuckling so she can face Lena.

“Talk about what?” Lena asks.

Quiet stretches a moment, and Kara takes a visible breath.

“You’re going to have to get used to the idea that eventually people will know,” Kara tells her and then something desperate plays across her face. “Otherwise…what are we doing?”

Tension spreads out between them and Lena’s chest goes hollow. “Kara,” she starts softly, not knowing what to say, but feeling some of her anger lessen at the look on Kara’s face.

“Seriously,” Kara says, looking sadder by the second. “I’m totally fine not telling people right now. I think you’re right, we don’t need to be making any kind of announcements. But what’s your game plan? Is this what you want to do the rest of our lives?”

The confident way Kara implies they’re in this for the long haul makes Lena’s throat go thick – with what she’s not sure.

“The rest of our lives,” Lena repeats quietly, and Kara must not have had the realization of what she’s said until she hears it back. An attractive looking warmth bleeds into Kara’s cheeks, but she doesn’t seem to relent.

“Sorry,” she says, looking anything of the sort as she smiles at Lena. “I should probably warn you that I don’t really half-ass things. Not my style.”

There’s something both alarming and exciting about that. Lena’s not sure how to react and Kara picks up on it easily, laughs a bit at herself. The thought spreads like wildfire through Lena’s brain. She hadn’t really gotten past where they are now – dating. Even that had seemed like a hurdle. What Kara’s implying…

“Well...okay. I don’t - I mean - ” Lena doesn’t know how to explain the sudden disquiet in her mind.

“I know I said nothing has to change,” Kara says with a soft casual shrug. “I’m not trying to say anything has to right now. I just like to think ahead. And I’m hoping this is going somewhere other than what it is now.”

It’s so straightforward, Lena feels taken aback, but as the surprise starts to settle, she finds herself warming inexplicably to the idea. Nonetheless, she takes a breath and says, “It might take me a bit. To get there.”

“Get where?” Kara asks, eyes seemingly intent on the answer. “Telling people or...the other part?”

Both, Lena thinks, but on some level knows immediately which is the more challenging of the two. “Telling people,” she answers, fiddling her fingers together. “Not freaking out at the idea of someone finding us out. It might take me a bit to be comfortable with it.”

“That’s okay. Just give me someday,” Kara says, the words like a whisper across Lena’s skin.

Lena’s throat feels like it loosens though her words still feel thick. “Someday,” she says, with a little nod.

Kara accepts that with a soft, small smile and reaches out to take Lena’s hand, the movement slow and careful like she’s afraid of spooking Lena. It makes the stress in her shoulders start to flow out of her. “Can I ask you something?” Kara says quietly and Lena takes a breath.

“Of course.”

“What is it that makes you so upset about people knowing?” Kara asks, her eyes searching as she says it, barely visible under the lowlights of the parking lot. “What do you really think is going to happen?”

It takes a few seconds for Lena to sort her thoughts into order. Her initial thought is that she doesn’t have to explain herself, that Kara should just - respect it. But Kara is holding her hand, looking at her patiently, telling her that she wants this to go somewhere. And even though Lena can barely think into the next ten minutes, she likes the idea of it. Of having Kara on the other end of the line, holding onto her.

“I’m not sure I know how to explain it,” Lena admits. There are too many complicated scenarios swirling in her brain and she isn’t sure which one to latch on to, which one is in the driver’s seat of her anxiety.

“Okay, let’s try it this way,” Kara says, their fingers playing together. “If I went and told a reporter that I’d fallen for Lena Luthor and we’ve been secretly dating the past few months, what do you think would happen next?”

Just the thought of it has Lena’s chest going tight again, but she gives the question due consideration and schools together an answer from the oppressive feeling in her throat. “I’d have to see my personal life all over the news for the next few weeks,” she says as a start and Kara’s eyes narrow.

“You really think people care that much?”

Lena laughs, a sharp quick sound. “My brother slept with a woman whose name had never once made the papers before and suddenly it was all I could read about for two months.”

“She was the wife of a Lord Tech board member and it happened in the middle of that big deal you guys were trying to push through,” Kara replies and Lena straightens, gestures emphatically at her.

“See, even you know all the sordid details!”

Kara sighs, but seems to acknowledge what Lena’s saying with a quirk of her brow. “But that’s all it was, Lena,” she says. “A few tabloids that got picked up by the news and now it’s...you don’t even hear about Lex anymore.”

“Because he’s gone into hiding like a coward,” Lena grumbles, feeling a headache start to build at her temples.

“Because no one really cares,” Kara clarifies.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Lena takes a breath. “Public opinion is a fickle thing,” she says. “And I’m all there is standing between the press and my family’s legacy. I really don’t want that legacy to be a long line of scandalous affairs.”

“This isn’t a scandalous affair,” Kara says quietly, her eyes intense enough that Lena feels drawn into it.

“It’s still newsworthy,” Lena replies, knowing how egocentric it is, but having been in the public eye long enough to know it’s true. It’d been true with her father’s affairs and then her mother’s and had certainly been true during her brother’s most recent dalliance.

“Well sure, we’re both hot, rich, and we photograph together well,” Kara jokes, eyes bright.

Kara’s playing with her fingers while she talks, and the feel of it is wrapping her up slowly in a warm familiar feeling she’s found herself helpless against. Anxiety still lingers, like a buzz across the surface of her skin, but she finds a desperation to sink into the confident spell Kara’s exuding throughout the car.

“Look,” Kara says, taking a breath and seeming to steel herself for something. “I know you can’t hear this right now, but you’re not responsible for your family’s mistakes. The things you’ve done for Luthor Corp are your legacy and yours alone.”

Lena looks out the window a moment at the lights of National City and lets out a long breath. “You know, I was never really supposed to be CEO,” she admits into the silence of the car. Her words sounding small to her own ears.

When she looks over at Kara, blue eyes are still trained straight on her, crinkled just the slightest in inquiry. “You weren’t?”

“Lex was,” Lena says simply, almost laughing at the idea now. It had been such a sure thing when she was a child - Lex had always been the favorite, and the logical choice to take over the family empire. “My mother always favored him and made it very clear to me I’d never measure up. No matter what he did, no matter how much trouble he got into...he was perfect in her eyes.”

Kara makes a face, her lips twisting with displeasure. “You know, whenever you talk about your mother it makes me want to punch her and I’ve never even met her.”

“Be glad,” Lena says with a short laugh, her fingers squeezing Kara’s and undeniably charmed by the protective way Kara’s jaw goes taut.

Kara hums, lifts Lena’s hand up to press a quick kiss to her knuckles and it shoots warmth up Lena’s arm. “So, what happened?”

“Lex wanted nothing serious to do with the company,” she explains. “He was always more into the lifestyle of being rich than the actual work it takes to achieve such a thing.”

“Ah, I see,” Kara says, a little amusement at her lips.

“So he basically gave it to me,” she says.

“Gave what to you?”

“The company,” she answers, remembering the day her brother told her Luthor Corp would be hers. “We both already worked there and then my father got sick and the company had to restructure and I know my mother was fitting to put Lex in charge, but one day…He must have made some presentation to the board because they passed a motion to promote me with only one vote against.”

She can’t help but laugh at the memory, of the way her mother had looked fuming as she walked out of the top floor conference room and the stupid-silly way Lex had strode out looking like he’d just won the lottery.

“Do I even want to know who voted against you?” Kara says, voice sounding dark as if the obvious answer is already pissing her off.

Lena smiles. “Like I said. I was never her favorite.”

“Your mother is the worst. Seriously.”

Lena hums, but doesn’t deny it. “I think maybe a part of me is always going to be trying to prove something to her. Ridiculous as it sounds.”

“It doesn’t sound ridiculous,” Kara says sincere as can be, she pauses a second, her blue eyes impossibly soft. “I still check Clark’s stat lines after every game to see if I did better than him.” The admission surprises Lena and it must show on her face because Kara laughs. “Yeah,” she says through a self-deprecating chuckle.

“Why?” Lena can’t help but ask. Though they’d mentioned Clark as the statistically better player before, Kara had been so confident when she’d said that championships matter more than statistics.

Kara shrugs, looking unsure in a way that has Lena shifting in closer. “I guess a part of me will always be trying to prove something too,” she says and Lena’s lips feel dry, her chest heavy under the weight of emotion she feels for the other woman in the car.

“You don’t have anything to prove to anyone,” she tells Kara emphatically, baffled Kara would think otherwise.

A small, amused smile plays across Kara’s lips. “Yeah,” she says, looking Lena dead on. “And neither do you.”

It lingers in the car between them for a bit, just sitting there like something dropped on the center console and Lena’s not sure how to respond.

Kara’s smile drops a bit, but she chuckles. “That’s not going to stop either of us from feeling that way though,” she says and Lena’s heart beats with the truth of that. “It’s not ridiculous. I get it.”

The significance of what Lena feels for Kara feels suddenly too big for the car. It expands outward so suddenly that heat starts to pool at the back of Lena’s eyes and she has to chew on her lips and look away to stop an embarassing show of emotion. Kara must sense it because she squeezes her hand, but doesn’t say anything.

“Well,” Lena says, taking a breath and settling the hot feeling in her chest.

Kara lets out a laugh that sounds watery enough it has Lena turning back to her. “Emotions are scary, huh?”

It makes Lena laugh as well, her shoulders deflating to sink back against her seat. “Terrifying,” she agrees, and they share a smile.

Kara seems to relax too, her shoulder dropping against her own seat and her eyes quiet. “What can I do to make you feel better about this?”

Lena wishes she had that answer. “I’m not sure,” she admits and then pauses, her heart feeling like it might beat out of her chest before she softly adds, “But I love you for wanting to.”

It does something to Kara’s face that makes Lena feel like she might cry, the emotional vulnerability of the moment threading tightly around her ribcage.

Reaching up to adjust her glasses, Kara looks away, her eyes blinking rapidly a moment before she turns back. It takes a bit, but after a deep breath, Kara manages a charming smile, the tension in the air leaking out of the car all around them just like that.