"Vessel"

Warning: There is cursing and mention of sensitive subjects.

I groan as I toss and turn. The text from the night before keeps flashing through my memories.

"Done, thank you for accepting my services. It will be done soon. Hold on until then, kid. You're strong."

What exactly did I sign up for, to switch bodies? I'll be someone else soon?

"It'll probably feel better that way. Whoever this is says that whoever you're switching with has a better life," He comments.

"...That's true, but what about them? Do they want to switch?"

He doesn't respond, but I know he's thinking about it. Does this person deserve my life? I read back over the unanswered messages. This...being, I suppose, says that this person deserves it. So, maybe...it's better? I sigh and sit up on my bed. I notice that I have a few messages. One is from Chris, complaining about something Ben did during lunch. One is from some random person off of one of my social media accounts and one...is from Ivy.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I still like you, I really miss you, and I just want to start over."

"Yeah, she's real sorry. She's so sorry she doesn't want to leave you alone," He sounds irritated.

There's still more messages, though. It almost seems...obsessive? As if my not answering her drove her mad.

"I know I should've talked to you about myself more. I know I should have been a better girlfriend and I am sorry."

"You're the only one who has really cared or stayed by my side, even when I did all that. And, it wasn't right. I'm sorry."

"She's lying. She's only saying it because, well, you are the only one who has stayed. You are viewed as the fool, someone to play around with and drop once someone better comes around. I hate saying it, dear, but you are a play thing and you need to cut her off," He says factually.

I nod, I know he's right. But, I almost feel...guilty. What if she actually means it? I know he's right, I know. She hurt me pretty bad, but she just keeps coming back. Almost as if she doesn't care at all, she just needs someone to latch onto.

"Bingo. You won the prize of being an intellectual."

I want to laugh, but it doesn't feel like a "prize" or even anything positive. With all of my heart, I want to believe her. I want her to mean it. I miss her.

"Why do I miss her?" I ask him as tears pour out of my eyes.

"...I think it's the sense of familiar territory. We both know her, we know her actions. We know what she'll say, do...she's toxic. You know what to expect, but with someone new, you don't. There's a variable there that is unpredictable. Someone new could treat you so much better or even worse. And, that's a scary thought. Because, how are you to know?"

He sighs,"Watch their behavior. Use your instincts. Don't blindly trust people, but keep your distance until you see their intentions are good. If not, cut them out. I know it hurts, I know you think that you love her still. And, maybe you do. But, I think she traumatized you to the point where you don't know how to live without her. But, you are stronger than that. I know it's hard, but you are."

Tears pour out of my eyes, and I cry silently. I don't want my mother hearing. She'll just end up belittling me or telling me to "Shut up." She doesn't care, and more than half of everything that happened...happened here. In the basement. She wanted privacy and I know my mother. Although, my mother didn't even question or say hello. Neither did Ivy. The memories still haunt me, and are right now. My tears soak my pillow, but I'm not alone. I feel broken...as if I need her to comfort me. I want to reach out so bad. She's the first person I've truly ever loved, or done anything with. Even if it wasn't wanted or if I didn't feel comfortable, I feel as if I need her. But, I know that's wrong. I know I don't, it just hurts so much.

"I hate that you're going through this. If I could ring her neck and have this all be over, I'd do it. But, I can't. Not without you being arrested, since we share the same body. I can't do that to you. The being said that we have a few days, we'll be okay."

His voice is soothing. I look at my phone again, wiping tears away so I can see. I know what I have to do. I look at Ivy's profile and just...stare at her photo. She's so beautiful. Even with her dead brown eyes and blank stare. But, I need to let her go. I remove her from my friends list, even going as far to block her. My heart aches as I do so, but I know it's the right thing to do.

"I know it's rough, but it's going to get better. I'm here and we'll be out of this situation. You won't have to see her again."

I nod, taking one last look at my phone before closing everything and shutting it off. I feel drained, and the clock now says 2:45 am. School is definitely going to be rough in the morning.

"GET UP!"

I groan, still feeling drained from the night before. Or, a few hours prior to this moment.

"School starts way too early. Why can't it start later?"

"I hear you, it seems ridiculous to me."

I look at the time and almost jump out of my skin. I have fifteen minutes until I have to leave. I look in the mirror and notice a bit of color in my eyes. They look...greener than usual. But, I look like a mess and feel gross. I hurriedly grab clothes out of my closet and head to the bathroom for a shower. I give myself five minutes, I know she'll yell even more if I take any longer. The water relaxes me and I breathe, even just for five minutes. I hear the alarm go off and finish my routine quickly. I don't feel so bad today. Chris shows up at the door and I walk out with her.

"You look...different today. It's nice," Her eyes light up,"Did you meet someone? A boy? Oooo, who is it?"

I feign a laugh,"No, I didn't meet anyone. I just enjoy feeling clean."

She frowns,"Oh."

"Yes, what a true friend to the end. Chris to the rescue. Woo," He says sarcastically.

I can practically hear him rolling his eyes, and I stifle a laugh. She doesn't even notice. She's too busy texting Ben.

"When are you going to meet someone? You know, I have a guy friend who want to meet someone, if you're-"

"No, thanks, though. I'm just...focused on school."

I hate having to lie to her, but I know how she is. I can't tell her the truth, and that bothers me more than anything. Silence fills the air as we walk, and I feel better. Until we reach the school, that is. Ivy is outside with her friends, talking. Memories of hours before remind me of my actions. I blocked her, and I didn't even answer her messages. She was left on read and blocked. Fear surges through me.

"I-I'm just gonna h-head to homeroom, okay? I'm not feeling so well."

I don't even bother waiting for Chris's response, I run. There are no teachers to yell at me for running, I just do. The fear has me shaking in my seat, I want to cry. I don't want to see Ivy. I know she'll be angry, I know- she walks into the room and eyes me. She doesn't look happy and I can feel myself shaking more. But, she doesn't say anything. She doesn't come near me, either. She just sits at the back of the room and another girl joins her. I can hear them talking happily, as if I don't even exist. I shakily move myself as far away from her as possible, even if I have to sit in the front. I can feel her looking at me, but I ignore her.

"Hey, you're okay. Don't let her get to you." He soothes.

I swallow back my tears. I feel so torn. So scared, but hurt. Is she trying to make me jealous? Did she meet someone new when I pushed her away? I shiver in fear and keep my gaze away from her. People begin filling in, some that look a little older, even. They're not in this homeroom. Three guys walk in. They don't look like the type I'd want to associate with. One sticks out among them. He dresses in dark clothing, the usual black hair that covers his eyes and he's pale. But, he's muscular. I don't recognize any of them. I notice them talking to the homeroom teacher as if they're close. Except for him, anyway. He remains quiet.

"Are you...attracted to him?" He teases

"No, but if I looked like that, I think I'd feel more secure right now."

I feel my phone vibrate as I listen. I pick my phone out of my hoodie pocket and look.

"Hey, hey. So, you like Adrian's look? Good choice. But, be careful. He hangs out with some dangerous people."

"That's not what I meant!"

I feel my face heat up in embarrassment and he laughs playfully.

"I know what you mean. Especially right now. If you looked like him, Ivy wouldn't bother you. You wouldn't feel scared. But, we're gonna get through this. Together," He reassures.

I nod and look up. The three boys are leaving, but not before 'Adrian' looks at me. His eyes are blue and he doesn't look kind. I give him an awkward nod and he does the same.

"Alright, welcome to homeroom. I'll call role and that will be it. Just make sure your parents sign those papers and don't be loud."

The teacher is quick about it, and everyone goes about talking to others in the room. I can feel Ivy's stare and I'm cracking underneath it. This must be how prey feels under a predator's gaze. I look back with the corner of my eye and notice the girl is gone. She must not be in this homeroom. My heart flutters at the thought and I curse myself. Why do I hold onto her?

"Hey."

I freeze even just hearing her tone. Fear is gripping so tight that I don't move.

"H-Hi," I manage to say.

"I see you blocked me."

I don't say anything at all. I avoid eye contact, feeling as if tears will come at any time.

"You know, I did you a favor. I made you feel great when all your mother did was put you down. You said it yourself, you felt so peaceful around me. And, I felt the same about you. I still do, and I told you that I'm sorry. Or, is that not enough for you?"

Her tone is ice cold, but she sounds angry,"You know what? Forget it, I found someone new anyway. I don't need your bullshit."

She walks away, still looking down at me. I want to cry, I want to beg for her to forgive me. I'm wrong, right?

"I swear, this bitch has a death wish. If we don't switch soon, I'm finding my own way to handle this. I'm not letting her manipulate you like this," I can tell that he's more than a little angry.

But, I feel stuck, too scared to move or say anything. The bell rings and I hurry out of the room to first period. Even the cute french girl doesn't cheer me up. I feel lost. Is it just me? Am I crazy, is she the victim? I want to understand, I need to-

"YOU are not the one in the wrong here. She is playing you. Dear, please listen to me. I have witnessed everything through your eyes and she is an absolute monster. Please don't let her hurt you anymore."

His words hit me hard and I feel tears begin to fall. Once the bell rings, I run out of the room and decide to skip classes. I won't be here long, anyway. And, I can't handle anymore. As I walk to the front doors, I hear a low voice behind me.

"Hey, where are you going?"

I turn around, assuming it's a teacher. I turn around to face the guy from this morning, Adrian.

"Uh," I stutter, feeling intimidated,"I don't feel well. S-So I-"

"So, you're cutting class?"

He smirks and his eyes spell that he's up to no good. I can only stare in fear, unable to move.

"Well, you better get going. I won't tell anyone, promise."

He laughs mockingly, blowing some sort of fake kiss as he says 'he promises'. I run out of the door and head to a nearby park. I don't think anyone will notice I'm gone and the school doesn't have cameras so they have no proof. Unless Adrian talks.

"...That was weird."

"What was?"

"Him. Something seemed off."

"I noticed, I thought he was going to do something."

"But, he didn't...almost as if he stopped himself."

"Do you think he wanted to do something?"

"Maybe, I can't tell exactly. He just seems off, something isn't right."

I keep an eye on the time, hiding at the park. Even with random adults showing up with their kids, I feel more comfortable here than at school or home. But, once school ends, I have to go home. I watch as parents play with their kids and the sky grows darker. It's only about 2 in the afternoon, but the sky grows dark. I run to the pavillon just as it begins raining. I watch everyone leave and just enjoy the sound of the rain. It sounds so soothing, so nice that I feel myself dozing off. I wake again to see that the sun is out again, but steadily going down. I look at the time and curse myself. It's almost 5 in the afternoon, and I was supposed to be home at 3. I know I'm in trouble. I run home, I know what I'm in for. Being yelled at for being home late, but she won't know that I skipped, right?

"There's no way for her to know, unless that Adrian kid said something."

That eases my nerves a tiny bit as I arrive home, approaching the door. I open it softly, hoping she's in the living room. But, she's not.

"Where have you been?"

She looks livid and fear grips me.

"W-what?"

"WHERE have you been? The school called, you haven't been there since first period! So where were you, huh?! Did you go to your girlfriend's house or even a boy's house, you whore? You're just like your father, running off from responsibility!"

I feel shock and fear run through me at once as she speaks.

"What, you don't think I know about your girlfriend? I'm not stupid, you're such a little slut, letting her touch you like that."

Tears prick my eyes,"It's not like that! I didn't want to, I only did it to make her happy!"

She scoffs, a can of beer in her hand,"Yeah, right! You're disgusting! You enjoyed every second of it and you know it. You're sick, I wish you were never born!"

I feel everything clash as I freeze.

"Enough! This is enough. Whoever you are, switch us NOW! Please, before I do something I'll regret. She doesn't deserve this!"

I don't hear my phone go off, but I hear a voice speak. He sounds...almost playful.

"Interesting, so there's two of you. I was just about to text you, but this is better, anyway. Consider your new life yours, both of yours. Be careful."