Chapter 2 - Constantly Thinking About Her (Matthew's POV)

There was always something that made me wonder why I hang around the lads I hang around. Never mind inviting them to my new place. One, they didn't take their drink well and they always joked that I was the typical police officer. Who thought that idiots who were drunk needed to go home or they would end up getting arrested. I guess you can say that. After 3 years in the police, I have seen a lot of drunk people. Drunk people are unpredictable and alcohol can do some very strange things to the nicest people. Alcohol is a devil in disguise. Sure, it's fun to have a glass of bubbly when you're celebrating. But, too much of it was dangerous. The other reason I wonder why I am friends with these guys, is they are all loved up. They enjoy rubbing it in my face that I am single. However, I only have to deal with Olly this weekend which I can't decide whether that is a blessing or a curse

Part of me constantly thinks about Charlotte when the lads tease me. How wonderful Charlotte was. How beautiful and smart she was. How I can never go a day without thinking about her. Part of me longs to know what she is up to these days. Did she end up as a paediatrician or did she go for emergency medicine? Is she happy? I do still miss her, I miss her beautiful smile the most.

"Matthew, you're meant to be making us some food. Come on lad, you are slacking," Olly, one of the lads me and Charlotte went to school with, grins.

"We could just get a takeaway. You have always known I am no Jamie Oliver," I remind him.

Olly sighs and shakes his head. "You were never good at food technology lessons. I remember Mrs Smith would constantly look disappointed at your lack of cookery skills," Olly says with a smirk.

"Don't rub it in, mate," I say to him. My mother feared me joining the police. She always hates to hear about it. However, the one thing that makes her more nervous is me killing myself from food poisoning. I once undercooked a chicken and gave my whole family a case of food poisoning. My mother found it mildly amusing. She did get mad at me, saying I was hopeless like a child at times.

"Charlotte would always try to help you though. Bless her heart, she was a good girl," Olly says with a grin.

He was the type of guy who was a good man. He was always a party animal. Never went to university however. But, has done quite well for himself. Owns a party supply company with his brother. He was someone who spent a lot of time drinking alcohol and wooing all the unsuspecting ladies. Those poor girls.

"Mate, you have gone quiet. You miss her don't you?" Olly asks. Olly had a smile on her face. He knew how I felt about her.

"Of course I do. She was my first ever love. But, she probably has a rich doctor who has asked her to marry him and is currently planning an Italian wedding," I say.

"Do you think she ever became a doctor?" Olly asks me with an amused look at his face. Like he couldn't believe she would ever become a doctor.

"Of course she did. It was her dream and you know what she was like when she had a dream," I tell him.

"Do you know that? Have you ever spoken to her? You were always close," Olly asks.

I felt a bit of sadness. I haven't really spoken to her. I don't know why we ever lost touch. It just seemed to happen and when it did, I felt sad. I clearly didn't feel that sad because I didn't get back in touch with her.. I would love to talk to her again. I wonder what she would be like now. She clearly would have been more beautiful as she got older. She was one of those people who was truly beautiful.

"I haven't spoken to her in years," I tell him. Admitting that out loud makes me feel even more sad. I would love to talk to her. Get to know what she is up to these days.

"Really? She was the first girl you ever kissed and said I love you to. Yet, you haven't spoken in years. Jesus Matthew," Olly says.

"Do you talk to her?" I ask.

"Well no, because she wasn't one of the girls I considered worth keeping as a friend when we left school," he admits.

"What does that mean?" I ask him with a frown.

"You know, she was a goody goody two shoes and was too far focused on serious stuff. Getting her to lighten up was hard," Olly says with a shake of the head.

"You barely ever hung out with her," I tell him.

"Still…" He shrugs.

I shake my head and ignore what he has just said. He really can be a piece of work when he wants to be. I dig out some of the takeaway menus, and a piece of photo paper falls out of the cupboard. I toss him the menus and I look at the photo. Me and Charlotte on prom night. She had her beautiful blonde hair pulled back into a clip, with flowers in her hair. She wore her grandma's diamond stud earrings and had a pink rose on her wrist. Her dress was an off the shoulder one and she looked like the most beautiful girl in the world. We were both gazing into each other's eyes in the photo. I smile at the memory.

"You alright there mate?" Olly asks.

"Of course I am," I say. I put the photo back in the cupboard, trying to focus on anything else.

"I fancy a good kebab. What do you fancy? Don't you have a load of takeaways as a copper anyway?" Olly asks me with a massive smirk.

"There are some good kebab places. I like Master Mario Kebab and Grill the best. They do some great pias there as well," I tell him with a grin.

"Ooo, you got some Italian in you these days, lad?" He asks.

"Who can say no to a pizza? It's the ultimate comfort food," I reply. I sit down on my couch as Olly looks through the menus.

"Aye, I suppose it is. Tell me though, does Pineapple belong on a pizza?" He asks and then narrows his eyes. "Careful Matty boy, if you say yes, our friendship is in danger and I may have to violently assault you!"

I try not to laugh at him. As ridiculous as he is, he is one of those friends who I know I can rely on. "You could get done for assault on a police officer," I joke.

"If any sane person charges a guy with assault on police because that officer likes pineapple on his pizza, when it clearly does not belong on a pizza," Olly trails off for a moment.

"Believe me, I do not think pineapple belongs on pizza. It just doesn't go with the whole taste profile of a pizza," I cringe as I speak.

"Thank goodness for that! I thought I was going to have to violently assault you," He replies.

"I can assure you, there is no need for that," I say.

Olly looks at the menu. He raises an eyebrow as his eyes skim over it, clearly trying to decide what he wants to eat. I sit down and wait for him to make his decision. For a moment, I find my mind wandering back to that photo of me and Charlotte. My mind wanders what would happen if I did message her. What would I say to her? It has been so long since I last spoke to her.

"So what do you fancy from the takeaway?" I ask Olly.

Olly looks up to me, and glances back down at the menu. Did he really just ignore what I said to him?

"I know you are thinking about her," He says and stands up, passing me the menu. "I'll have the doner kebab with chips and a flat bread and garlic sauce."

I don't respond. I just ring the takeaway place and order us some food. My phone buzzes as I make my order. As I hang up the phone, I see I have a messenger notification. I open the notification centre and my heart starts to flutter as I see the name.

Charlotte Kendall.

Charlotte as in my Charlotte? I feel my palms start to sweat. Surely, it can't be. I haven't spoken to her in so long. What could she want? What reason would she message me? Surely, she has found someone to make her happy.

"What's up with you, dude?" Olly asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I am fine," I lie.

"And, I am the most attractive man in this world," He says, shaking his head.

I roll my eyes. He is ridiculous. I press my lips together before I speak, "I have had a message."

"A message? I didn't know you got all sweaty when you got a message. Let me guess, one of your suspects said they are outside the house," He murmurs rolling his eyes.

"What? Why would you even joke about that?" I scold him.

"I don't know. I was being a dick," He admits.

"You are definitely one of those," I say, looking at my phone.

"Is it Charlotte?" He asks.

I don't look at him and I nod. My phone screen dims ever so slightly and I tap it.

"I can tell you are definitely distracted," He says.

"I am not distracted," I argue, shaking my head. Oh my god, I sounded like such a girl then.

"You need to open it. This is obviously a sign," He utters.

"What do you mean when you say this is a sign?" I ask him, sounding very defensive. How is this a sign? Charlotte, who I have not spoken to in a long time, has just sent me a message. I can't even say we check up on each other because we don't. Maybe this is her reaching out to me? Why would she after all of this time? It has been a very long time.

"You speak about her. You clearly think about her. You definitely haven't forgotten her. Hell, you have a picture of our friendship group in your hallway. You have pictures of you and her still. If there is one thing I know is that you can't just stop loving your childhood sweetheart," Olly pauses and looks at me. He steps closer to me. "You know, this world is fucked up. You have fucked up a few times. With your past relationships, with things that you did when you were younger. The one screw up you haven't made was with Charlotte. And, obviously the path you have taken," he speaks softly.

I look at him. Looking back on my past relationships, he is right. I mean the one with Rachel was a total game for us both. More sex and orgasms than any proper communication. Steph was just leading me on and the minute she got bored, she just buggered off. And Emily, she was a mistake. She was someone I never got on with. She was the entitled daughter of a self-made millionaire. She never saw the point in working hard for anything. But, when everything is given to you on a plate, I guess you don't.

"There would never be any chance of me and Charlotte ever reuniting. We have both grown up. She probably has found the love of her life," I say.

Olly looks at me, shaking his head.

"What are you looking at me with a disapproving look for?" I ask.

"She may just be reaching out to say hello, how are you," he sighs. "Just open the damned message and get it done with, twat!"

I furrow my eyebrows and I press the notification. It opens and my heart starts to beat slightly faster than normal.

"Hey, how are you? Know it's been forever, just wanted to see how you were. Hope all is well with you xx"

I look at the message. I type back a reply.

"Hi, I am good. Good to hear from you. How are you? Xxx"

I send the message and groan, I definitely put on far too many kisses. Oh god, what is she going to think?