Chapter 9: Two Tens for a Five

I: Zane

“What do you want, Zane?”

This was six months earlier and the young woman asking me what I wanted was Olivia. I had learned everything about Olivia and she continued to be a mystery to me.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just want to be with you. I just want to write. That’s all I want.”

“Well, I want to be with you, too, Zane, but not standing still. This needs to be going somewhere. So, please, Zane: What do you want from life?”

I repeated that I wanted to be with her, and to write. And that I had those things, and why couldn’t I continue to have them, and what did she want?

“You want more than that, Zane. You must.”

“I don’t.”

“Don’t you want to be a successful writer?”

“I am a successful writer: what I wish to create, I create, I don’t struggle. I don’t lack skills, I don’t lack ideas. I am writing what I wish to write, exactly as I envision it or better; isn’t that success?”

“It’s not,” Olivia said. “It’s the path to success. But it’s not real success.”