chapter 1

They say art is the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power, however, I prefer the definition that art is the expression of one's feeling but what if they don't know what their feelings are?

Or what if they don't have feelings? Then what? Is it still called art?

I like to think of myself as an average person with no drama with an average appearance. It makes me some what humane however that's not the case since all I've done is caused trouble for everyone by just being in this world.

𝐴ℎℎℎ!

What am I even writing? it's not like anyone would read this junk anyways, is this how a novelist feels when they're writing or it's that I'm not putting my heart into these words?

I'm scared to even publish this, people will probably think I'm just trying to seek attention and hate me even more.

𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑤 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑘𝑦 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑐𝑟𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑦.

whatever the case may be it doesn't change the fact that no one will ever accept my existence even though I've known this for years but just being with them is okay.

𝐷𝑜𝑜𝑟 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛...

"Hisui honey I know you can hear me your Dada coming home today so please go to school, you know how he gets when he sees you...just please okay, you know I love you, right honey"

𝑀𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠 𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑠ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒. 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒. 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝐼 𝐻𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙, 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝐷𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡? 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛.

"And don't embarrass our family again, keep up your clean record and remember to let your sister friends play with you, you're friends with them right?"

𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑘!...

𝑃ℎ𝑒𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒...𝑆ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑒? 𝑛𝑜 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑜 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑠.

𝐸𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟...

𝑑𝑎-𝑑𝑎-𝑑𝑎𝑎𝑎 𝑑𝑎 𝑑𝑎

𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑠𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛...𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡?

𝐸𝑥𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟...