How do some xianxia characters vomit blood every few paragraphs?

Upon entering the city, the grandfather-grandson duo was stunned.

"Pops, are cities really like these?" Romulus frowned.

Every hillbilly going inside these huge cities expects some sort of magical feeling… like something of a dreamy land of happiness and greatness. Tall buildings, great food, clean streets, awesome people. Of course, Romulus is one of them.

This is not what he expected.

"Police are the only people I can see…"

"Don't lie, you punk! I can see non-police personnel even with just my hearing." He smacked his grandson's head in annoyance. "Let's just go eat, I know you're hungry."

Romulus' face instantly lit up, forgetting the pain he felt when his granddad's rock-like hands hit his head seconds earlier.

"You know, pops… I always wondered about that seeing by hearing with the earth ability of yours. Can you peep at ladies with that?" Romulus' perverted look betrayed his honestly curious tone.

The answer he got was mud to the face.

The duo walked on Manila's main thoroughfare for around half an hour before taking a turn on a side road.

"Pops, do you know where we're going?"

"'Course I do. Why would I enter the city if I don't? That's just asking for trouble." The massive man spat out the remains of a chewing gum after answering.

He put another in his mouth and added, "We're just taking a little shortcut. I don't want unwelcome trouble on the highways."

A few twists and turns later, the old man stopped.

The grandson, puzzled, was about to ask something when the huge hand of his grandpa shut him up.

***

Well now, back to the gaping jaws scene…

The old man expected this scene. He planted his leg and the paved walkway at the back of the wolf suddenly rose to become a wall. Then, the grandson simultaneously spat out vomit straight into the wolf in mid-air after being released by his gramps' filthy hand.

Wait… there's definitely something wrong with this… how filthy is that hand to make his grandson vomit?

The Hound, which is currently a wolf in mid-air, realized he's trapped. A quick twitch of his body, allowed him to avoid most of the disgusting projectiles of vomit incoming.

The wall at the back started moving towards the wolfhound. Meanwhile, some of the remaining vomit splashed on his front legs, frying his skin.

But that's not the worst thing to have happened to him.

"Ahkkkk!" The wolf choked and turned back into a human when he landed, shocking the kid, and making the elderly man also choke in laughter.

"Bleaaargh!" The Hound vomited blood. The fact that some of the kid's vomit mixed in with his own vomit and blood made him deathly pale. Add the literal burn in his arms, that were his front legs earlier, and the burning sensation in his throat and mouth, it is crazy how he's even conscious at this point.

"Yuck. Your vomit is disgusting." If you think the one talking is the Hound, you're wrong. It was Romulus! The bastard vomited first! Now he's talking like some clean freak?

The two meter tall man was now rolling on the ground— that he himself lifted— in laughter. The wall behind the vomiting wolfman had also collapsed, since the creator itself couldn't care less about that. The man's about to die from laughter!

After another bout with bloody vomit, the Hound finally stopped, panting as he sat on the wall on the right side of the alley. "Dammit, Irv, is this vomit that became a kid your grandson or what?"

If only this guy knew the kid also had exploding boogers…

"Yep, Lab… as much as I don't wanna admit it, this runt is my grandson." Lab, which is nicknamed Hound, doesn't know whether to laugh or cry after seeing the kid rubbing his left hand filled with snot, and his right hand filled with leftover vomit onto his gramps' dirty jeans.

"What's up with that burning vomit anyway? That could kill… both because of the heat, and the fact that it's utterly disgusting." He can't help but choke again after remembering that he ingested some of it.

"Yuck. Your body is disgusting." The kid just said five words, but it was like a thunderclap in the Hound's ears.

Suddenly, the alley regained its silent state. The scent of burnt earth, fresh meat, fresh vomit, and… rotten eggs.

Damn… I don't ever wanna be in the presence of these guys…

"You… you dumb brat! C'mere! I'm gonna spank your rotten eggs!" The now naked man called Labrador said in sudden fury. Of course, he won't spank the little guy in the presence of the big man.

Little guy's little guy...

"Rotten eggs are lovely! You can't change my mind!" The kid's brain is already like rotten eggs…

"Hehe stop it now Romulus, let the exhibitionist dog cover himself." Of course, the old bat won't pass up the opportunity to diss.

I'm not gonna write Labrador the Hound's curse filled next statement that he said while dressing himself with the standard two-piece suits only worn by higher ranked Alliance personnel. He then said again, this time without the dumb look on his face, "Why in the hell are you in here, you old bastard!"

"Nothing much, just want my grandson to experience how bad it is inside one of these cells you call cities." He said matter of factly, while his grandson went off to the side to examine Hound's vomit.

The Hound's face darkened. Seeing this brat looking at his puke with disdain, when the brat's own vomit's way worse, annoyed him to no end.

"Hey, burning barf boy, screw off will ya! Your puke is way worse!" The Hound glared at the kid. Romulus glared back.

Sparks flew as if the two birdbrains had met their nemesis.

"You two, stop this nonsense! Don't go fighting over barf. Even insane people won't fight over whose vomit is worse!" With a snort, gramps Remus put up a wall of Earth in the middle of the glaring duo.

"How can your grandson be this combustible!" The dog that burned himself cried foul.

"How can your punching bag be this dogshit!" The kid that shat himself also cried foul.

What is this exchange? The gorilla typing this also cried foul.

As if not hearing the three (of course gorilla included) crying foul, the old man inquired rather nicely. "You seem to be looking for someone huh, Lab? For the Alliance's finest tracker to be out here in the middle of the night with no one else with him, I bet it's another one of those tricky cases no?" Remus' tone is one of certainty.

"You really know the cases I take on eh? What can I even hide from you?" Labrador didn't sound defeated, but rather, he sounded like it's just par for the course.

"Wha— old man? This guy is some kind of a big shot? He's closer to a big snot than a big shot to me!" Romulus of course was shocked. "You said he's just a punching bag! I thought he's just someone you always beat up so badly he ran far, far away from you!"

Lab suddenly had the urge to vomit the remaining food in his system.

Remus suddenly had the urge to smash the wall he erected into his grandson's head.

"Hey, dog man, are you telling me that since you're a big shot— and you're my gramps' friend— this rock head is formerly a big shot too?" The youngster's face is abnormally pale, with his hands pointing alternately between the dog and the old man. "No way, right?"

He can't believe that his grandpa's boasts are true!

Lab crouched, and looked the little guy in the eye. "Your gramps is a big shot. He was my ex-boss."

"Shit! You've gotta be kidding me, dog man!" The little boy's head can't handle the overload of information he can't accept.

His next words, though, scared the living daylights out of Romulus Irvin.

"You gotta believe it lad. That man, Remus Irvin, is the ex-boss of the Free."

Remus postured like some heroic person, but of course, he wasn't able to pull that dignified look off.