Pilot

"I'm so exited for homecoming!" I text my boyfriend Eric he texts back, "Same, I love you so much". I smile and text back "I love you too", and start to do my makeup. I go to the hair salon and get my hair curled perfectly wearing a short tight silver dress.

I go home and take a few shots before our pictures to help my anxiety. We take our homecoming pictures and get dropped off. I Greet all my friends telling them how pretty they all are and slowly burning watching Eric stare at the girl he liked for 4 years before he met me and she was also his girl best friend who he asked for nudes but I didn't care much because he was drunk when he asked her.

The night goes on and I realize there's no food or water but I keep drinking more. I grab Erics phone to take pictures then a text goes threw his phone and its from hope his girl best friend. I feel bad for invading privacy but I start to scroll threw the messeges I see him write "Oh wow ur so hot lets meet up at the library at 12 30". I start to cry Eric comes over realizing what I saw and he tries to lie his way out of it.

I start to panick and slap him across the face and everyone is staring at me laughing due to my messy makeup. Eric tells everyone I just drank to much and they belive him. He calls his Dad to take me home and I throw up in his dads car. I go home wondering weather or not I should kill myself and spend the night crying. I wake up the next day with a huge hangover feeling sad all day. Within the next few weeks I detach myself and fall into a depression. I stay with Eric hoping he can change.

I start to drink more relying on alcahol for happiness trying to find friends. Im not the most friendly person when I'm first met and I tend to be very clingy even with friends due to bpd I take everyone I meet and basicly turn my friends into family and im constantly scared somthing will happen to them. I have a rough past and thats somthing we will get into later but for now let's stay with the moment.

So the October fair comes around and I buy a couple wrist bands for me and Eric. We walk around and buy food and play some games and ride a few rides and I see somone whos hurt me in the past and I leave to avoid anymore interaction.

On our way home I see a stray cat and pick him up I ask Eric if we can take him home but he says no and to put it back. I do as he says and put him down but he starts to follow me as I walk we reach the end of the street and the cat waits for me to walk and walks with me and we do that until we reach home. Me and Eric decide its fate we have to keep him. We buy the needed supplies and set up everything. We named the cat Thomas and hes the sweetest thing in the world.

Time goes on and im still depressed catching Eric still talking to hope. I decide I need friends I can actully talk to I lost track of my old friends when I ended up spending all my time with Eric now I have no one. I text a few of my not so close friends and meet a few people threw instagram and start to make friends. I feel good for a bit starting to hang out with more people until I started talking to this one guy Kevin. He seemed amazing at first until I invited him over to smoke and take a few shots. He took advantage of me being drunk and forced himself onto me even when I fought back and said no. One of my friends had warned me that this may happen but I didn't listen it was hard to say what happened and it broke me so much I feel like if I just listened this wouldn't of happened.

Time goes on and I fall deeper and deeper into my depression but hold on for my friends. I'm waiting for when I turn 18 and can live by the rockies and be a ranger. I fantasize about what things could be all the time I take every little thing everything that makes me happy and I dream it up into somthing bigger. Somthing better.