twenty four
"Bee, I'm s-" He started but I held up my hand telling him to stop.
"Shut the fuck up before I toss you out of the fucking car." The driver looked at me through the front mirror with a shocked expression and I smiled at him sheepishly. The Taxi came to a halt and I snatched my bag from Seok-Min much to his dismay to pay the driver.
It was almost midnight by then. We both got out of the car and I strode towards the house with him behind me, head down. I rang the bell once and a very worried Young-Jae opened the door.
"Why would you not pick up the phone?" He said immediately sighing in relief as he hugged me. I patted his back forgetting about the bleeding and he immediately noticed gasping. I hid my hand and moved aside to allow Seok-Min to go in. He looked at my hand behind my back and pushed me towards Young-Jae and so into the house. I stumbled into the familiar living room and Young-Jae pulled me on the couch where the rest of the boys sat awake. He sat beside me while Seok-Min came with the first-aid kit.
"Bee, what the fuck?!"
"Why are you bleeding?"
"OH MY GOD!"
I sighed closing my eyes biting my lower lip. I knew what was coming. They were gonna make me loose all my brain cells with all the questions. Young-Jae looked at me worriedly and I tossed him a small fake smile. It hurt. Not my hand. He carefully bandaged my hand and looked at me expectantly but I said nothing. All of them looked right into my eyes except Seok-Min. He looked anywhere but my eyes.
"Care to explain Bee?" Kyle growled. He was mad.
"I, uh, I just had a fight with a girl in the bar and a bottle broke in my hand." I lied.
Very smooth, Bee. They're never gonna believe that.
"The hotel owner we scammed that day was at the club tonight. For us." Seok-Min announced shocking everybody and I groaned under my breath. "He tried to take me out and I was way too intoxicated to notice so Bee, she, um, tried taking the hit for me and killed him." I heard Jake gasp and Kyle choked on his saliva.
"Bee, I want to hear it from you." Nathan gestured softly and I shrugged.
"It's exactly what he said. Sorry, I lied." I rubbed my neck and Young-Jae replaced my hand with his massaging my neck.
"W-Why did you do it, Bee?" Seok-Min asked making me look at him with a bewildered expression. What does he mean why? Doesn't he know by now? Fucking dumbass.
"Why? Are you really that dumb?" I asked all of them instead of Seok-Min. I didn't want to communicate with only him for now. They all shrugged except Young-Jae who was actually really concentrated on giving me a massage.
"Oh my god, I can't believe you all. You guys are my only family. Nothing matters more." I spoke removing Young-Jae's hands from my neck and rubbing them together with mine. His hands were freezing.
"After what I said to you before, I didn't think so." Seok-Min mumbled softly. I looked at him and scoffed which shocks the other boys. Me and Seok-Min never fought before today. He was usually calm and considerate. I snorted a little at his shockingly contrasting behaviour he showed at the bar today.
"I still wanted you around but now I'm kinda regretting still wanting you around." I shrugged as rudely as I could mask. Young-Jae tightened his grip on my hand and I looked at him with a confused expression.
"Don't say that Bee." He said, his tone a little edgy. Oh wow.
"W-WHAT?" I remove my hands from his and he sighed.
"Why would you say something so rude?" He asked ever so softly. I looked at the other boys who look equally on edge.
"Bee, what you did was amazing but don't you dare say that." Hyun warned slowly.
So I was one to blame now? Seok-Min wasn't even clarifying the whole thing. The silent continued for atleast a few minutes before Seok-Min spoke up.
"Guys, this is not-" I cut him off quickly.
"No, you don't open your fucking mouth now. I can clearly see what's happening now. Just because you've known him longer does not fucking mean I can be tossed around. Did you even listen to what happened? I know you guys helped me because of my dad but I thought we got closer, that we were at least friends. Especially you, I fucking l- you know what this is enough. Thank you so much for your help, I returned your favour by saving your Seok-Min-Hyung." I yelled pointing to Young-Jae but quickly composed myself. It wasn't worth it. I grabbed my bag from the couch and marched out of the house.
Not one of them stopped me, because they fucking knew I was right.
I opened the door and slammed it behind my back. My legs faltered with every step I took. I reached the end of the walkway to their house and removed my heels. I couldn't leave today, who knew maybe that man worked with somebody stronger. I sat down on the pavement and looked up at the sky.
I could see a lot of stars but no luck in finding any constellations. Maybe, it was just not my day. Just a few hours back we were all laughing together. But now? So far but so fucking close. I could get up and ring the bell again in just two minutes but if they didn't need me, I didn't have to make it so obvious that I needed them.
I looked at the house, shook my head and looked up again. I tried connecting the stars but it just didn't happen. You see, we're all like the countless stars in the sky, some form constellations with the ones they're meant to be with and others just twinkle all alone, highlighting how some are loved and some are there for mere decoration in the humans' sky.
The thing we don't see is how the lonesome stars have people like me watching them on their bad days to find comfort in a lonely lonely world. So that every time they see a constellation, they also see that alone but beautifully shining star giving itself in exchange of somebody's happiness.