Chapter 5.5

When his eyes opened he was in an unfamiliar small room. For a while he remained lying down observing his surroundings, thinking on why it was that he was lying on such a hard bedding in this worn down room. 

He had been sleeping until just a moment ago. And then his eyes opened. That was all that he could remember but despite the fact that there was surely more to his memory than that, he couldn't get a firm grasp on it. He thought on why he was awakening in a room he'd never seen before and found it strange but if that was strange, then it was strange too that when he tried to think of what room he should have woken up in that nothing came to mind. 

Unable to come to a conclusion he sat up. There was nothing but a single futon. There was nothing else in the room. The ceiling above was made of old wooden blanks, and the light bulb was out, covered in dust. Not only was there no light, when he looked about there was no window either. Even so, was light coming in from somewhere? It wasn't so dark that his surroundings couldn't be seen. There was no color to anything and yet in the blue tinted scene he could make out all of the details clearly.

Three of the walls were covered in plaster. That was falling down here and there. The remaining wall was plastered with plywood. Those planks looked new but because they were only nailed in place they did more to give the impression of being run down than the falling stucco. The futon was putrid and the surrounding floorboards were coated in trails of dust, a rotting dampness on the air. 

It's like I was thrown away and abandoned out here, he thought. It was like a hidden room in a house that had been forgotten about, now completely unused. ---The reason he thought that was because when listening to the sounds about the area, he had the feeling he was in a place deep within a relatively large building. Somewhere far off were people. And they were in the same building, he had the feeling.

He stood up, then noticed a door on the nearby plaster wall. He knew that this door alone had newer workmanship. He tried the doorknob but the door didn't open. It seemed to be locked but from the inside there was no sign of a keyhole or lock mechanism. 

(Why...)

It must have been locked. And from the outside. He was in this run down room, alone by himself, and in a room he'd never seen, a room he couldn't very well think people stayed or lived in. There were rooms in the Edo period that lunatics were kept in, maybe this was one of those.

(But why?)

He couldn't understand why he was trapped in this place. Much less could he tell where this was, or even take a guess at it. Something must have happened. Something must have happened to him, and so here he was in some unusual place, that was reality but what happened before now, what he was doing in what kind of place, no matter how much he tried to remember, was all incredibly vague.

While trying to push on the door, he cocked his head in puzzlement when he heard footsteps on the other side of the door. Without thinking about it, he shrunk back towards the end of the door. With the sound of the lock being undone the door opened. As expected there was no light beyond the door either but even so in the blue tinted dimness, he could make out the features of the person who stepped in.

"So you've woken up."

He did remember seeing the young man who said that to him with a smile. Even though he was positive he had, he couldn't remember who it was. he didn't think they were a dangerous person but he instinctively retreated. He was uneasy being so uncertain, and he felt out of place. He didn't know the reason for that. 

The man casually approached, and suddenly he murmured "stay away." ---Or he tried to, but his voice wouldn't come. His voice wasn't coming, he thought, wildly disturbed. At the same time, he felt an emptiness, a hole within his body, which served to panic him further.

Something was wrong. It was like he'd drifted into a bad dream, unease and uncertainty coiling about him, the feeling that something was separating him from reality. 

"You don't need to be afraid, Murasako Masao-kun." the man said. With that he could remember that that was his own name. "I am your ally. So there's no need to fear. You don't need to worry, so calm down, now."

Masao shook his head. Before he knew it he was cornered in the room. He wanted to say not to come any closer but as expected his voice wouldn't come. His vocal cords weren't paralyzed, and it wasn't as if he couldn't form the words, it literally felt like his voice was just not coming out.

The man nodded as if understanding that. 

"I'm called Tatsumi. We met before, right? I'm your ally. So there's nothing to be afraid of. So try breathing in deeply and slowly. Talk like that. All righty?"

Masao shook his head vehemently, but still took in a deep breath, then spit it out. Something about it felt strange. To put it into words was difficult. If he were forced to, he would say it didn't feel like breathing deeply. Then what should he do, he tried to think of that but came upon nothing, leaving him uneasy. 

"Calm down now." Tatsumi was close enough now to reach out an arm and touch him. "It's all right. There isn't anything to worry about. In fact dispelling your uneasiness is just what I've come here for, you see."

Masao shoot his head, crouching in place. The unease and the confusion piled and piled up, as if piling up to overcome something, and he felt cornered.

"....Stay away."

At last his voice came, but that voice was broken. He realized he was on the verge of crying from his own voice.

"Stay away, I said!"

All right, Tatsumi smiled. He took a natural step back and took a seat on the floor. He peered at Masao's face as he was huddled, crouching against the wall. 

"It's all right. I won't do anything."

"...Where, is this?"

"It's home."

"Is not."

"Then, to put it another way, shall I say it's a safe place? From now on you, see, this will be your home, Masao-kun."

Feeling like he couldn't understand any of what was being said, Masao earnestly shook his head. Tatsumi even so continued to smile. He at least seemed to sympathize with Masao. 

"Mm. I do understand how terribly confused you are. If I tell you the place you've never seen before is home, you would only become more confused after all, I guess, huh? ---Yes, you wouldn't remember seeing this room. You don't know what's happened to you, so you only have the feeling that something abnormal's happened. You must feel like something's off, mustn't you?"

As he'd put it quite rightly, Masao nodded. Tatsumi was scary for no particular reason but at the same time it was a relief that he understood an unease Masao himself found hard to put into words.

"I don't think that's unfounded. ---Are you listening? You've been reborn."

Masao tilted his head. 

"It really is good, I think," Tatsumi said with a smile. "But even if I say reborn, it might not click with you. No---you really don't need to worry. That's how it is for everyone. Everyone is confused at first. But soon now you'll calm down, you'll realize what a great fortune you've been blessed with and will be quite happy," Tatsumi said, looking at Masao. "Do you know what it is that you're wearing?"

Masao looked down at himself. He was wearing something like a white kimono. It was splattered here and there with dirt.

"This..."

"It's a burial kimono. And with the right side tucked under the left. It's the opposite in formal meetings. Do you understand why?"

Masao looked down in bafflement as his thin hemp kimono. Right under left was the style reserved for the dead, wasn't it? Or did he have it backwards? He tried desperately to remember but it was all unclear.

"Yes, those are burial clothes. ....You were once buried."

That's ridiculous, Masao murmured. Tatsumi smiled as if sympathetic. 

"Mm, I understand wanting to call it ridiculous. But, it really is true. You were considered dead and buried. But you were reborn. In other words you weren't really dead. I saved you from waking up in the coffin. I'm the one who brought you here."

"....That's."

"You can't remember? You were in bad shape. You were tired, in pain, you couldn't bear it. And you were getting even worse. Unable to move at all, you lost consciousness."

Masao opened his eyes. ---Yes, his condition was bad. He remembered that suffering. It was hard, so hard, and eventually he couldn't move at all. And yet nobody in his family would take notice of his poor condition. With nobody to bring water to ease his throat, even if he moaned, nobody would so much as peek in at him. Without a doubt he died like that, Masao thought with a gasp. ---And then.

"...I." He lost consciousness, and they must have mistook him for dead. The moment he thought that, the hair on his body stood on end. He was buried while still alive. If he hadn't been saved, there was no doubt that he'd have woken up in a narrow coffin. Nobody would have noticed, nobody would have come to help him, he'd bang on the lid, unable to get out to the surface---and within that narrow coffin once again he would die.

"...You s, saved me?"

"That's right. I dug you up from the grave. I have a good nose. So I knew, since there wasn't the smell of death coming from your grave. There wasn't a rotting smell. So I knew that you would be reborn."

Masao let out a breath. He didn't remember being buried but he felt gratitude for being saved and dug out from the bottom of his heart. 

"Thank.... you."

"Sure. I really am glad you were reborn to us! Do you remember why your health was failing?"

Masao blinked and shook his head. Was there a reason at all that his heath had been failing he thought, when at that moment a single man's face sprung from the back of his mind. 

"....I."

"Somebody did that to you. .... Am I right?"

At Tatsumi's whisper, Masao nodded. Shiveringly, he stood up. That was the day Tohru had died, when coming back from the Mutou house. Somebody was in the back yard. They came flying at Masao. He was put into a full Nelson and then---.

"I... was attacked." 

By whom, Tatsumi asked in a whisper as he leaned forward.

"....It was Yuzuki-san... From the library."

"That's right," Tatsumi smiled. "That is correct! And then you died. Do you get it? You died and rose up."

Masao let out a scream. Yuzuki's face, the sensation the moment he was attacked, wonder and terror---and the suffering that followed. Isolated in his room, labored breathing ignored by his family, with nobody to blame or to help him, nobody even asking if he was all right. Masao lied alone in his room. The helplessness and fear. He feared the night. Somebody outside the window. Asking to be let in, Masao knowing he absolutely must not let them in, knowing all the while that if they came in he would be driven into an even more terrifying situation, but all the same opening the window for his visitor as if being controlled. Someone come and stop this, he screamed in his heart but even while despairing that it was certain nobody would come to save him, until in the end he was unable to get in a proper breath and with his hands clawing at his own throat for a long while or was it but a moment, the end of his consciousness came upon him.

Masao screamed now after all this time. He let out his terror, a scream for help---the scream that formerly couldn't move past his throat, now was able to tear through to leak out.

"It's all right." Tatsumi gripped Masao's arm. Shaking that off and stepping back, Masao crashed into the wall and clawed at it. Tatsumi took hold of him and with an arm around his shoulder stroked his fingers soothingly. "---There isn't anything to be afraid of. It's all right now. You died. But you've risen up. Those scary thoughts, those painful thoughts are over now."

"I,...." Masao struggled. "...No way. Damn it, this isn't funny. Khu, let me go!"

"Would you rather have died? Like your nephew? Hiromi-kun, wasn't it? Would you rather really be dead like that boy?"

"...Hiromi." Masao's eyes opened. ---Right, Hiromi was dead. His family was grieving that, and they didn't notice that Masao was suffering. Munehide, Munetaka, Chizuko. "Hiromi.... is dead?"

"Unfortunately so," Tatsumi nodded. "Not everyone who dies is reborn. Hiromi-kun wasn't reborn. When I dug you up, there was the smell of rotting meat coming from Hiromi-kun's grave."

Masao shrunk into himself. Rotting--decaying. Yes, that was what happened when you returned to the earth. The body became a host to germs and insects, devoured, melting down, into a form that would be terrible to lay eyes on.

"But, you were fortunately reborn. So you won't rot anymore, nor will you die. You were lucky! After all, you're one of the few people who were reborn. Most of them rot without being reborn."

Masao looked at his own hands. Certainly he was here now. Nothing had changed from before. But about his body was something out of place he couldn't wipe away. 

"I, died...? That's a lie, isn't it?"

"You died. Take a look for yourself. You aren't breathing."

"That's just..."

"You aren't. The reason it feels like you are is because you're putting out air to talk. Go ahead and try stopping. It won't hurt or anything."

Masao, flustered, stopped his breath. No change occurred to his body. Of course he didn't feel like he was choking, and the heavy feeling in the nose and behind the ears when one stopped breathing was nowhere to be felt.

"...I." That was the out of place something he'd felt within his own body. In Masao's body was some sort of emptiness. Something had certainly felt missing from his senses. 

"There's also no pulse. No heart beat. You've transformed. You can tell, can't you?"

"What the hell.... is this? What's going on?"

"You won't have to die again. And I am your ally. Since I'm your ally, I carried you who were buried to here, which is a safe place."

"No! I..."

"Now, listen? You're going to have to accept this. Of course, you are free to refuse this, too. If you're against it no matter what, then I will kill you if that's what you want. How about it?"

Masao trembled. "....No."

"Right, you don't want to die, do you? You don't want to go through that twice, do you?"

Masao nodded. Whether he was breathing or not, that didn't matter either way. Either way he "was." As long as he existed, he was aware of himself. That was something he just couldn't bear to lose again. If he could go on like this without having to lose that again, he didn't care if he had to be like this.

"You've come through without dying. But that said, it's not as if you're completely immortal. If you think it's important that you were so fortunately reborn, there are three things you'll need to take to heart."

"...Three things?"

"That's right. The first is not to starve. Starvation will kill you. Just like a living human."

Masao nodded. 

"However, you can't eat anymore. At least, not normal food. You could say that you can only take in a very specialized diet now. Do you know what that is?"

Masao shook his head. Tatsumi gave a low laugh. 

"Yuzuki-san rose up too. He was reborn. And he was feeding."

Masao's mouth gaped open, and then without thinking his right hand touched his neck. Indeed, Yuzuki had---.

"If you're going to remain alive, you will need people's blood."

"...Blood." Masao's eyes widened so far the corner seemed about to split. "....A vampire."

"Or whatever you'd like to call it. Your body can only take in blood from now on. Even if you take it into your body, your body can't digest it. Solid foods are no good. Don't eat them. It'll rot in your stomach and let out a terrible smell."

"I'm..."

"In order to live, you need human blood. If you don't have it, you will starve to death. First, you'll have to accept this as deeply as your gut."

"That's..."

"In order for you to feed, you must attack people. But, humans are not so easy to attack. If they're attacked, they will die like you after all. If they know that something that's a danger to their lives is multiplying, they'll resist. You won't die anymore but you aren't immortal. If you're staked through the heart or if your head is cut off, or if your head is crushed you will die. To be sure they don't do that to you, you'll have to be very careful and attentive."

"I... don't have any choice but to attack people? I have to attack and kill them?"

"Right," Tatsumi said with a low laugh. "But, you don't need to worry about it. Because it's the same as humans killing livestock to survive. Until now you've been killing animals and taking them in to live. From now on you'll be killing people to live. This is a natural thing. It can't be helped. It's not something to be anxious bout."

Masao's eyes were wide. 

"Second. Your body has changed. One thing you'll have to be careful about is that your body is weak to sunlight. Your body will burn and wither away. Your body hates the sun. And the daytime when the sun shines. You'll sleep when dawn breaks. This is deep sleep you can't resist. As dawn nears, you'll become so sleepy you can't bear it, and as dawn comes you'll lose consciousness. You won't wake from that until sunset but if you fall asleep someplace careless during that time, your body will burn up and you'll die in your sleep. You must be aware of the time. Be sure to return to a safe space before dawn."

"That's.... I, I don't think I can do that."

"You don't need to worry. I told you, I'm your ally, didn't I? For a little while until you get used to your new life, I'll be looking after you plenty, and my companions will be looking after you too."

"...Companions?"

"Yup, we have companions. For a while we'll be sure to have you go with somebody. Somebody with more experience being risen than you. They'll teach you things. So like I said, you don't need to worry."

"I... I get it."

"Third. We will be taking care of you. Until you're used to this new way of living we'll look after you and we'll tell you what you need to know. We'll be protecting you, supporting you. Our companions are like a family. But there is one condition to it. You must absolutely listen to what I say. I know what you must do to safely live a long life. For that, you need to have certain fundamental knowledge, and I'm conveying it to you. But, if you should perhaps have a change of heart and put our companions at risk, then I will show no mercy in removing our protection from you. We must be united above all else. Turning against us will not be forgiven. You get it, right?"

"That's..."

"Now listen. Amongst our companions, I'm a bit special, I don't sleep even during the day. I can even go out walking. If I feel like it, after you've fallen asleep, I can take you out to an appropriate place for punishment. I can stake you and cut off your head. You mustn't forget that."

Masao shrank into himself. 

"Don't be afraid. I don't particularly want to do anything cruel of course. Keeping my companions safe takes priority. If humans became aware of us, there'd surely be a counter attack now wouldn't there? We have to be quite watchful to make sure that doesn't happen, and if somebody were to act selfishly all of our companions would be in danger, so I just need to warn against it."

"But, I" didn't even want to be revived, Masao tried to say but Tatsumi talked over him.

"As the numbers of our companions grows, a leader is a necessity. Somebody has to think of every advantage and put things in order. The people of the Kirishiki family have undertaken that. I convey their ideas to the lot of you. So you musn't go against what I say. This is to keep you personally safe as well. You understand, don't you?"

Masao nodded. Tatsumi smiled and took out a paper bag. He took out a bundle of clothes and handed them out. "For now, change into these. We'll get what you need to get by little by little."

Masao did just as he was told, stripping off the white clothing and putting on the terribly normal cotton pants and sweatshirt. How did he even get his hands on these, he thought. Tatsumi must have bought them during the day time, and the Kirishiki family must have put up the funds for it. 

It makes sense---Masao thought. So the Kirishiki family were the main culprits. The bad things that had been happening since summer, and in particular the continuous run of deaths were done with the Kirishiki family as the ringleaders. 

(Vampires...)

It was so stupid. It was like a joke that something like that could even exist but it was even more of one for he himself to become one. But while putting on his clothing, Masao forgot to breathe. If he wasn't talking, there was no need to. Unless doing it manually, his body stopped automatically.

"I.... really did die."

"You sure did," said Tatsumi in a gentle voice. "It's good you were able to revive."

Masao nodded. Dying this young was something he'd pass on. Masao didn't want to die. He still hadn't done anything. He didn't have any fun memories and still hadn't seen any good days. Dying like that wasn't even funny, he thought. Tatsumi said one of many did. Masao had won a very risky gamble.

(Hiromi is dead... He didn't come back.)

Somehow, he didn't feel that bad. Masao didn't like Hiromi. Cheeky little runt. he had the entire family fussing over him alone, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted, but now he was gone. To be honest, Masao felt triumphant, even.

Masao died once. Dread had seized Masao. But nobody had understood Masao's fear, the family too busy fussing over Hiromi to give Masao so much as a glance. Within his dulled thoughts, Masao died confirming to himself that they never once turned to look after him. ---Yes, within that family, Masao was isolated. He died alone. 

Those was his pitiful environment until now. But Masao never had to return to that house again. Munehide and Munetaka weren't his problem anymore. Munetaka wasn't dead. Now nobody else would compare Masao and Munetaka. When thinking of how he was released from so many oppressions, a smile rose to his face. 

"Did something happen to help you calm down?" Tatsumi asked, to which Masao nodded.

"I became one of your companions didn't I?"

"You sure did. A precious companion." 

Being told that made him feel good. "Precious, you mean it?"

"Well of course I do. There aren't many of us after all, now are there?"

"Mm."

Masao was a "special child." Even with his brothers, he was special, younger, specially pampered, raised especially selfishly, he was told. But all the same the truth was that Masao wasn't the least bit special at all. And so Masao had wanted to become something that actually was "special." He thought he should be. But he couldn't be. Not when nobody around understood, not when nobody around had any mercy. And then at last he had really become "special." 

Tatsumi stared directly at Masao's face. As if seeing through Masao's change of heart. And then he asked. 

"Do you feel like you could eat?"

"Eat..." Masao was startled. 

"The first time you attack somebody, it does take a little courage. So I won't say to attack somebody from the start. If you don't have the determination to do it yet, I'll bring you what you need."

"....Blood?"

"Yup," Tatsumi smiled. "In a cup, you see. Though you can't drink that without a bit of courage either. But you'll get used to it bit by bit. Now that you've changed, you shouldn't be bothered by unpleasant smells or tastes anymore. Rather, at first everybody makes an unpleasant face but they say the taste isn't bad. It just feels bad, but it's not anything especially unpleasant to drink."

Masao nodded but he felt something repulsive clogging his throat. 

"Just, this can't go on forever. You're like a child until your first attack. We can look after you like a child forever but children don't get much. You remember, don't you? When you were a child, you were missing out on so many delicious parts of life."

"....Yeah."

"Attack and kill your first. That's, well, like our initiation, you could say."

"...Killing."

"In order for us to eat, livestock must die. If that scares you, you can't eat. On the other hand, if you become skilled at targeting prey, you can even stand out. It has nothing to do with your age. Who knows how much time will lapse after being reborn. Once you can stand before us and be treated like an adult, you can do special things, prove that you're clever, once you can do things good for our companions, then you can be bestowed with a special position even amongst our companions."

"I can?"

"That's right. You can." Tatsumi said, putting an encouraging arm around his shoulder. "Ever since I knew you should be revived, I prepared a meal for you. I've made it so that he can't resist or fight. It's safe to attack him. So you don't need to worry. But if you aren't ready to take that stop, for the time being I'll bring you what you need. ---Which will it be?"

"I..."

"The prey can't resist. It can't do a thing to hurt you. At first he may look at you with hateful eyes but once you attack, he'll become calm. When we attack, you see, they end up feeling pretty good. Afterwards, they really do put up no resistance at all. They don't say anything particularly hateful, nor look at you with resentment. Some people even come to be quite happy to be attacked."

"Really...?"

"It's really so. If they're attacked they will die but you don't need to fear that happening. That can't be helped if we're to survive, so it's only natural. If you don't attack people, you will be the one to die. Nobody could blame you saying that if somebody has to die that it should be you. That's just how it is, right?"

"....Mm."

"So that's why you don't need to be afraid of leading to their death. There's no need to hesitate to kill. No matter how many or who you kill, none of our companions will blame you. Rather, you'll be praised for doing the right thing."

"That.... means that it's good to kill people?"

"That's right," Tatsumi smiled. "For you see, you? You've obtained the special right to kill."

Masao shuddered. 

"... But, I won't be forgiven if I attack people I know or people I'm close to, will I?"

"Why not? We'd welcome it. Especially blood relations. You were reborn. Whether one's reborn or not? That's hereditary. It's probably a matter of genetics, I think. Comparing houses where at least one has risen and houses where none have, it seems easier to rise if one already has. So you can attack your family. The more the merrier, after all, yes?"

"But,... Let's say there's somebody I don't like, so I choose to attack them, that's bad, isn't it?"

"Why is that bad? I mean, you have to attack somebody either way."

Masao's eyes were wide. In an instant, Natsuno's face crossed his mind. He could kill. He could obliterate him. The fact that Hiromi was already dead was just a bit of a shame, he thought. 

Bit by bit, delight or something similar to it swelled up within him. With that, Masao could feel something bolstering him up. 

"So how about it? Will you gather your courage and try an attack?" a gentle voice whispered, to which Masao nodded.

"... I'll try it."

Tatsumi gave a low chuckle. "What an admirable young man you are."