Chapter 5

He tilted his head in curiosity. 'Who is he...?'

The evening sun lit up the streets before Zayn. He squinted his eyes, trying to get a better view of Amilia and the male student next to her. The two were walking closely together, but Zayn was unable to see their faces. The sunlight was glaring strongly, and they were too far ahead to be seen clearly from where Zayn was standing.

Zayn was unsure of what to do. The girl he had admired and had been longing for is with someone. However, he was unsure of her relationship with the dude next to him. A part of him wished to run towards Amilia, but a part of him was cowardly, making him overthink slowly.

They're friends. They should be friends... right? Does it matter, though? I'm just her friend too... her friend.

Zayn squatted next to the traffic light and put his hands on his head, frustrated. Ugh, what is this? What to do, what to do?!?!

He looked forward again. Amilia and that unknown person were already too far away for him to recognise them. Zayn sighed and got back up. The traffic light was flashing a blinking green man, but it switched to a red man just as he was about to take a step.

"Forget it. Not like it is supposed to bother me anyways." Zayn decided to take another route to the train station instead of waiting for the traffic again.

Zayn slowly walked into the small road that lead to a row of terraces. The street along those terraces was hidden from being easily seen from the main road. It was a one-way downslope road that connected the main road Zayn usually walked along to another secondary road that ran parallel. The secondary road was not as used as the main road. Zayn rarely used that street because it was dirty and sketchy enough to attract people with ill-intentions.

Zayn dialled on his phone. "Yo Kim."

"Wassup Zayn? Is there a girl for me?"

"No. That's also a reason chicks stay away from you. Creep," Zayn cringed at Kim's statement before insulting him jokingly.

"Aw, man. Whatever. What'd you need?"

"You have someone you like? Like eye candy or a crush?"

"Can't say that I never had one. But not at the moment."

"Okay. Bye then." Zayn had a second thought.

"Wai-" Kim was cut off by Zayn who hung up his phone.

Zayn thought it would be better to tell Kim directly, instead of being mocked and teased through the line.

***

The sun had already set about an hour ago, and the streets outside slowly became less and less busy. Finger tapping at approximately one hundred and fifty-seven beats per minute, Zayn was in front of his laptop working on his music. The earpiece connected to his laptop was blasting in his ears, shutting off any sounds from outside. It was like any other night, where he would do his stuff in his room, while his parents either watch some serial drama in the living room or resting in their bedroom.

But of course, that night was also different. Zayn was restless than ever before.

Who is that person? Is she his? Is he hers? What were they doing together? They aren't together right? Are they? I hope she isn't taken. Am I taking this too deeply?

Yes. Zayn was indeed taking it too seriously, to the extent of speculating weird things about Amilia. As his mind slowly overwhelmed him with raging thoughts, his finger-tapping slowly went off-beat from his tracks, going faster and faster. His heart was racing over the thoughts in his mind.

He stood up from his desk out of the blue. His face was red and heaty, ridiculously raging over such speculative thoughts. The earpiece that was plugged into his ears came off and was left hanging at the edge of his desk, swinging. He covered his face in frustration and leaned back as if stretching. His mind was nowhere close to peace and calm.

As a form of habit, Zayn would walk in circles within his room when under a lot of stress. 'It's not like I could do anything with the tracks when I'm like THIS.'

Zayn slammed shut his laptop quietly, preventing his parents from hearing him, and sat down at his desk, staring into space.

"Does this," Zayn spoke under his breath, "actually mean that..." Zayn grew conscious of what he was about to say and shook his head, screaming in his mind. Zayn was doubting himself for minutes

CAN'T BE. CAN IT?

Later on, Zayn opened up his laptop again, but to watch a Japanese anime movie. He was trying to clear his mind by doing something he liked. At one point, a scene revolved around two characters at different places spontaneously. Zayn started becoming restless and frustrated, yet again.

"What am I feeling?"

"Does he love me?"

"This isn't a delusion within me, right?"

"But..."

"What if..."

Zayn started pulling his hair before getting the small plushie bear next to him and threw it across to the wall on his left. Poor innocent plushie bear. How could the movie feel so relatable at the closest timing possible? Zayn slammed shut his laptop once more for good.

"So much for trying to calm me down." He switched off the room's lights and hid under his blanket, forcing himself to sleep.

❤❤❤

The night was quiet and cool. The town was dead silent at around eleven at night. Only a few cars travelled slow enough in the streets, not being much of a disturbance to the still night. The town was lightly illuminated by streetlights and dimly lit buildings.

She looked out of her window, letting the cooling night breeze kiss her face as she viewed the town from the thirtieth storey of her apartment. The feeling of melancholy filled her heart. Deep in her thoughts, nothing could disturb her at all, in the dark, spacious room of hers.

'It was not a few times. I have seen him so many times.

The way he stands, the way he walks

The way he smiles, the way he frowns

The way he lives...

Is it enough for my lonely heart to see him by the yellow line of the platform?'

❤❤❤