He doesn't like me back

Molly

I'm not the first in the class, but I am one of the good students. God, I wish I was the top student. Anyway, Cer likes to exaggerate everything. Nevermind her. It was a month ago when our university's academic year started, saw this boy and thought it was a 'love at first sight' phenomenon. God, I still remember that day, when after all the classes ended, she came to me and told me her stupid theory of how they both were 'meant to be' grinning like a fool. Gosh, it sounded ridiculous then, and trust me, it still does. 

But since it was a month ago, I thought Cer would snap out of it. I mean, she has a weird obsession with something or the other all the time. Like last month, she had an obsession with a small blue ceramic box, with a teddy bear carved on it. It was cute, I admit, but nothing to obsess over, but who knows? Anyway, she did this weird thing, where she didn't start her day without it, like it was some kind of lucky charm. But what about it now? I bet she lost it like many other things she borrowed from me. *sigh* That lucky charm of hers, lasted for 9 days to be exact. 

So, similarly, I thought this obsession and her theory of 'love at first sight' and 'meant to be' would also end by now. But not. Sheesh. I still wonder why and how she thought of it. I mean, Cereus isn't a person who's interested in such things. There was one boy in middle school who had a crush on her... Micheal I think, is his name. But anyway, Micheal had this huge crush on her throughout middle school but she just figured that out last month, before graduating, that too, when some other classmate of ours had to spell it out to her like she was so dumb. You should've seen Cer's bewildered face then! *lol* Gosh, I cried from laughing then. But poor Micheal.

Anyway, yesterday was the day that Cereus finally confessed her feelings to Matthew Green, and ran to hide in the washroom. And now the class is going to start in like 5 minutes, and here in class, I can spot Matthew talking to some of his friends. And my dear childhood friend, Cereus is still nowhere to be seen. I wonder if she's too embarrassed to come to class. But she has thick skin, I don't think I'm worried about it. I'm more worried about Matthew there who's laughing with his friends, did he tell his friends about Cer's confession to him yesterday? Is he making fun of her? That bastard. I hope not. Gosh.

I don't like Matthew that much, he's a good student, listens to classes and pays attention, but much worse than me. I hope he accepts her confession, which would make Cer happy, but I don't think they should date. Maybe I'm biased cause Cer is my friend, but she could do better. What did she even see in him to make her fall for him!??

Oh, wait, I see Cer coming to class, 2 min until class starts. Right on time I guess. She's embarrassed, clearly from her flushed ears. I wonder if something else happened.

Cereus

 I didn't want to come to class at all, but this was better than the bombarding questions my parents would ask me if I skipped classes. Arghhhh, I acted so embarrassingly yesterday, I want to dig a hole and hide. Why did I have to attend the same classes as him right after I confessed!!?? I stand in front of the door, right on time for class. This way, I won't be able to chat with anyone else, and just go and sit, listen to class, and escape as soon as the bell rings. 

I stand in front of the class, trying to enter, but I see his face right as I enter the classroom, and suddenly I can feel my ears turning a light shade of pink. Maybe my eyes looked too intense, but he looked back, and we made eye contact, and I could feel my heart skipping a beat. And suddenly, I see him make a troubled face after looking at me, and he avoids my gaze, shit.

My heart feels cold like it's been suddenly frozen, and my mind starts racing. I now realize he doesn't like me back. I was so self-involved throughout the past month about my feelings for him, that I forgot the fact that he might not like me back. Shit, shit, shit. My body starts moving stiffly as I go towards my seat, and I take a seat and try to listen to the class going on. But no, all in vain. My mind's racing with all kinds of thoughts, "What if he has a crush on someone? Or what if he already has a girlfriend? Or what if he just doesn't simply like me? Or what if he's gay? Surrounded by prejudiced people all around?" and thought I sit still, I slowly start to feel more and more terrible by each second. 

I feel like I'll start crying any moment, and I think Mol notices it and asks me what happened. I want to tell her everything, I want to tell her how my mind is running in circles, and not letting me be in peace. But I can't, at the least not until class is over, and we're dismissed. I try to raise my hand and excuse myself to the washroom, but I don't think that is possible, as I don't think I can speak without my voice breaking. So I sit in my class, staring at the blackboard, and spacing out, hoping the class ends as soon as possible, so I can get out of there. 

 Suddenly I see Matthew looking over at me, during the last 10 minutes of the class, I think he wants to talk with me and make it clear to me how he doesn't like me. All the more, I should escape as soon as possible. I can't confront him now, not when I'm not even sure I can speak without a shaking voice!