Screw the Plot! I'll Save the Villain!

["Jamie! Can you cover me tonight? I just scored a date with Veronica from the art department!"]

Jamie was riding the bus home when he received a phone call from his friend, Daniel. With annoyance laced in his voice, he responded, "Aren't you with Caroline from the communication department?"

["Um. Yeah. About that... She dumped me at noon after she saw me flirting with Nadia from the business school."]

A look of disgust was evident on Jamie's face. His friend was a true manwhore. Every few days, he would have a new girl hanging on his arm. Their first year wasn't even over yet, and the man has dated almost every hot girl in the university. It pissed him off. Someone like him could never understand the struggles of a single dog. "Tsk... When I have time and money, I'll definitely find a nice girlfriend. But unlike you, I'll stick to one person and cherish them dearly."

["Hehe. Are you sure you can find a girl with that face?"]

Jamie's smooth forehead wrinkled at his question. "What's that supposed to mean?"

["I'm saying that girls would see you more as a love rival than a romantic partner. Don't you know what people call you? The flower trap of the horticulture department."]

"Huh?!" Jamie almost yelled into the phone, causing others in the bus to turn around and stare at him. Embarrassed with himself, Jamie shrank down in his seat and lowered his voice. "What type of nickname is that?"

["Dude, how do you not know this? Look in the mirror and then compare it to any hot girl. It's obvious you'd win if only you had boobs and a vagina. Do you know how many chicks I have to date just to prove I'm a straight male because I'm friends with you? Anyways, can you cover me or not? I know you need the money."]

Though he was pissed with Daniel for telling him he looked like a girl, Jamie still agreed. "...Yeah."

["Awesome! I'll let our manager know."]

After hanging up, Jamie got off at the next stop and walked to the cafe he worked at. Since his parents died when he was young, he lived with his grandpa in the countryside. His grandfather enjoyed gardening the most and this hobby ultimately was passed down to Jamie. This is why when his grandfather passed away last year, Jamie decided to major in horticulture to a university that offered him a full scholarship.

It took 15 minutes before Jamie reached the cafe. The bell at the door rang and he was immediately greeted by the manager who was wiping the cups at the counter.

"Ah! Jamie! Daniel just called me saying you'd be covering him today."

Jamie nodded politely, "Yeah... It seems like he has another date."

The old manager laughed heartily, "Is that so? That boy is such a casanova. You should find a boy... Ah, I mean girl to date as well."

Jamie's lips pressed together into a flat line. "I'll be sure to do so."

Jamie stayed till an hour after closing to help clean up. The cafe was rather busy even though it was the afternoon. The manager was quite pleased and gifted Jamie the remaining sweets to take home. The best decision he's ever made was hiring Daniel and Jamie because both boys were eye-candies and always brought in a lot of customers. While Daniel brought in the female crowd with his boyish charms, Jamie brought in a lot of returning secret male admirers. It was obvious, however, that Jamie remained oblivious to this fact.

Happy with his haul of delicious goodies, Jamie returned home to his dilapidated apartment with a leaking roof and broken water heater. After a long day, he decided to idle a while before getting ready for bed. While munching on the cookies he received, Jamie searched online for something interesting to read.

Along with being a green-thumb, Jamie was an avid internet user. He didn't have access to wifi back in the countryside and the only time he was able to touch a computer would be when he was at school. That's why when he was able to afford his first-ever second-hand laptop, Jamie adventured through the web for days, filling himself in with the various platforms people his age used.

One of the activities he enjoyed the most was looking up... tsk, tsk, tsk ! Not porn but interesting online novels. His favorite genres would be the ones where the main characters were OP and manly. Jamie had always felt inferior when it came to his body. Although he wasn't too short, he wasn't tall either. He also had a very slender bone structure that could neither gain muscle or fat no matter how hard he tried. His skin was so white despite always being out in the sun to take care of the plants.

One of the worst things was the fact that he was practically hairless everywhere except his eyebrows, scalp, and pubic region; though, in all honesty, that place was a bit lacking as well, as it only had soft and fine hair that's barely covered anything... His legs, arms, armpits, chest, upper lip, and chin were as smooth as a baby's butt.

He was a man! If he could just shamelessly whip out his little junior and prove it to the world, he would! Most definitely would!

On this particular night, Jamie scoured the novel-reading site for a story that would make him forget his angst from the day. As he scrolled down the filtered list of adventure novels, Jamie noticed that he finished most of these stories or was waiting for the next update.

After 20 minutes of searching, Jamie reached the end of the page where a certain 1-star novel named, 'Join the Harem to Defeat the Villain!' was laid to rest. Since he became an avid user of this site, Jamie has never seen a story that only had 1-star before. Usually, the lowest rating given to a shit novel would be 2.5-stars. As for the stories with zero stars, that just meant that there weren't enough people who left a review for the story yet.

Jamie looked at the number of reviews of the novel and saw that there were over two thousand people who rated it. Clicking on the title, Jamie looked at the story's stats to see that indeed, all two thousand-and-something people rated 'Join the Harem to Defeat the Villain!' one-star.

Reading the description, Jamie found the story to be about the typical OP manly man who exceeded in life and surrounded himself with beauties left and right. Although Harem novels weren't his cup of tea, he still thought that the story shouldn't be too bad. 'Don't these genres usually do well? I wonder why it was rated so low.'

Deciding to skip the comments, Jamie began to read the 300+ chapter story in curiosity.

Not too long after, half-way through chapter 1, Jamie then understood why this novel did so horribly. The MC, who was also originally named Jamie, was a piece of trash that deserved to be kicked in the balls.

Jamie was a complete shithead that was running away from the police because he stole an old lady's purse on the street. While being chased, he was hit by a truck and died while feeling sorry for himself.

In his mind, he prayed to (demanded) God that he would be given a second chance and that in the next life, he'd be a good person. Hearing his prayers, God granted Jamie a second chance and transmigrated his soul over into the body of a 10-year-old orphan boy name Soleil or Sol for short. But just as soon as Jamie transmigrated, he made it his life goal to create a harem and stand at the pinnacle of society to rule over the pathetic ancient people, disregarding his promise to God of becoming a good person.

Story Jamie was a jerk that angered the readers but for some stupid reason, it made them continue to read just so they could chastise the fictional character. This effect applied to Real Jamie as well. In fact, the damn MC pissed Real Jamie off so much that after one night, he finished the entire 300+ chapters, while notably skipping a lot of the useless and repetitive 'H' scenes that ate up a good chunk of the novel.

With glazed eyes, Jamie read the last paragraph:

'"Now that the evil has been purged from the land and I have become Emperor, a new chapter must begin. As all of you know, an Emperor cannot be without an heir." Sitting in his seat, (Scum) Jamie looked down on his beautiful collection of women and smiled hungrily. "Therefore, I will leave it up to all of you to help me once again." With pride in their eyes, the several wives gathered around their beloved, ready to serve and hoping to please.

~

Softly closing his second-hand laptop because he didn't want to break it, Jamie fumed, "What the hell did I just read?"

It was the first time Jamie had ever read such a crappy story that he wanted to chop off the author's hands so that he could never infect the internet with his crude mind ever again. The MC was a douche that basically helped turn the villain evil through his protagonist halo and ended up inheriting the throne for a completely nonsensical reason! As he seethed in rage for wasting the past 12 hours of his life, the alarm on Jamie's 10-year-old brick phone went off. Hearing the happy sound of chirping birds, Jamie grew even angrier. "Ah! Great, I even pulled a damn all-nighter!"

Dutifully, he watered the precious plants he brought from the countryside then readied himself for the day. While washing up Jamie saw the clear-cut panda circles beneath his eyes. He didn't realize it until that moment that he was actually really tired.

Jamie left his home and leisurely walked toward the bus stop. As he sat down, he took out the notes that he should have studied last night instead of reading that damned 1-star story. 'What a waste of time.'

His school day progressed as usual and he had a bit of time before work to go and buy a few things he needed to stock up on at home.

As he walked to the nearest marketplace, Jamie heard the sound of hurried footsteps behind him. Minding his own business, Jamie waited at the crosswalk when the hurried steps were accompanied by shouts and whistles.

*Tweeet!*

"Stop! You purse-snatcher. Stop!"

Turning his head, Jamie saw an evil-looking hoodlum running to him at full force. His eyes carried a dangerous glint as he clutched a handbag that only an old lady would use. Behind the thief were two policemen who kept yelling for the man to stop.

Seeing him coming toward him, Jamie stepped aside to get out of the man's way, but for some messed up reason, the evil-looking man tripped at the very last moment, pushing Jamie off the sidewalk and onto the street where a very convenient, oncoming truck just so happened to be.

In a split second, Jamie heard what sounded like all of his bones breaking and the sound of his own horrifying scream. Right after that, his already shattered body was then run over by a second-vehicle, crushing his already bleeding internal organs. The pain was extremely excruciating. And the only good thing about it was that Jamie died not too long after that, therefore, he didn't suffer too much.

As his mind faded to black, Jamie heard an ethereal voice that sounded neither female or male. "My poor child... You have been greatly wronged... Do you have any wishes pertaining to your next life?"

Jamie's dead body was still warm and he didn't even have time to process the situation. 'I get a next life?'

"In fact, it was not you who was supposed to die at that moment thus you will be given a new chance at life and a wish of any kind."

With his mind in a muddled state, the freshly dead Jamie just blurted out the first thing he thought of. "I don't want to die a virgin next time."

Unphased by the simple request, the ethereal voice responded, "Your wish shall be granted."

And with that, Jamie's soul was completely swallowed by the darkness.