The beginning

•• Hello, guys!

This is the beginning of a new story. However, this story is different and it's quite hard to keep up with.

A little bit more about this story, you guys are going to have to solve some mysteries, you'll understand as the story goes on.

I hope this book doesn't come as offensive as some people might think it is, but I am sorry if any of you got offended, it's pretty obvious that you get offended easily then.

Another thing is this book needs some of your focus, understand what's going on, and think a bit.

Okay, not to be a bother, so I am going to let you guys go for now.

Enjoy!:) ••

I opened my eyes even though it stung, being underwater did not help heal my pain at all, at least it relieved me a bit. Hiding the pain I felt inside was hard, but I wouldn't have to deal with people's sympathy nor pity. Every night I dunk my head in the water, trying to drown my misery.

Just hold on

I kept telling myself, I couldn't show that I was afraid, that I was afraid of being alone or being in a very dark place where no one could save me. It felt like I was deep in the ocean where no one could see me, and every time I tried swimming up to breathe, the wave would come again and push me down even harder.

Everyone thinks that I am strong, but what they don't know that I was slowly fading away. No one really knows that I'm not doing okay at all, but who could blame them? I am very good at hiding it.

People think that I have friends, many friends. But now, to myself, I say... what friends? Friends, who are not there for you? I mean I'm not perfect like how people make me. I'm me. I'm broken. Friends think that I'm perfect, even though they know that I've been through shit.

I screamed so loud, because either way; no one could hear me. I breathed heavily once I felt tired of laying down in the bathtub. I got out, covered my body with the white towel I had, and left the bathroom without even caring to clean it.

***

I wore my pajamas, and sat on my bed, I grabbed the 'journal' my dad bought me when I was six, and wrote down the repetitive sentence in it, and once I was done; I wrote the date and closed it, placed it above my dresser.

I looked at the mirror, and I did not recognize myself. My eyes were red and puffy, my face looked pale, and I looked miserable.

"You can be happy, and you can also be sad to try to cover up the pain you feel inside, but you know... all you feel inside is emptiness, numbness, tiredness, and more. You know you feel lost, you know that you're hopeless, and you're just faking everything."

Shut up.

"You're smiling at school? Why aren't you smiling at home? Why do you show your teeth when you're smiling? Are you trying to convince the stupid people in school that you're happy when you're not?"

Because it's easier to fake a smile, students at school are dumb.

"But you know you don't feel anything, why are you faking it?"

Because people are dumb, they don't care.

"You're good at hiding your tears, how come?"

I just pretend that I'm perfect, just how my friends make me be.

"Sleep isn't sleep anymore, right? No one is there to read bedtime stories for you, no one is there to kiss you goodnight and tuck you in, what do you feel?"

Broken.

"Then, why aren't you showing it? Hmm? Why aren't you telling people to stop and just tell them the truth? They'll just end up dragging you down even more than now. WHY?!"

BECAUSE NO ONE CAN SAVE ME.

***

Thank you guys for clicking on this depressing book. This story might be confusing to some of you at first, but it'll answer your questions when you reach the end, I promise.

If any of you are dealing with any kind of depression, please contact me and I'll try to help. Also, if you're deciding on harming yourself or thinking of it, I don't know, please PLEASE tell an adult!!! Your life is way more worth than anything in this world, please know that! And if you have no one, please know that you will always ALWAYS find someone.

No one has no one, everyone has everyone if that makes sense.

If this story depresses you or something, I'm sorry. And if you don't like self-harm, please and I'm sorry for saying this: but leave and thank you.

This is MY story, not anyone else's. All these ideas flew in my mind when I was watching 13 reasons why, and trust me it has nothing to do with 13 reasons why.

I might add quotes here and there, but I'll always give credits to whoever said em.

Thank you.

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