Chapter Four - Lady Helvetika

She activated one of her abilities – Dungeon Sense – which gave her an augmented Perception check for anything perilous in her immediate vicinity. Activating it with but a thought, she waited to see what was there. Nothing. She was safe for now.

Sitting on one knee, Calista reached into her knapsack and pulled out a tiny metal box. Made of nickel and pewter, it bore the shapes and figures of nymphs running through the woods. Calista had never cared much for the design – she suspected the alchemist who had crafted it was clearly an oversexed male, but its use was undeniable:

Message Box: Use 1/day – allows for two-way communication with one individual (player or non-player) who is outside of the player's current range of communication with whom the player must have some kind of prior relationship. Communication must be consensual, must last no more than five minutes, and either party may end said communication any time before and up to said time limit.

The box was a shade smaller than her fist and on one side was a tiny crank handle. Using her thumb and forefinger, she wound it until it was tight. Then, releasing the handle, it wound itself back into place as she spoke into the metal ear mounted on the top.

"Paging one Lady Helvetika."

A glass panel adjacent to the crank displayed the following words in bright blue lettering: "Paging said party. Wait one."

There was a pause before a nasal voice came over the mic.

"Lady Helvetika's Gallery, Emporium, and Menagerie. Palm reading, hand holding, and Tarot services are available nine-to-five weekdays and ten to two on Saturdays. Guests are welcome but only parties of up to three at a time are allowed. Seyances are RSVP only and bring a towel honey, because no one leaves Lady Helvetika's seances with a dry eye."

Calista rolled her eyes at the ceiling. "Tika, I need a favor."

There was a decidedly un-pregnant pause.

"Didn't I help you yesterday?"

Every time. Calista rolled her eyes. "No, did you?"

She could hear Helvetika smile. "Naw, must have been someone who looks just like you."

Might as well set her up, again. Calista sighed. "Tika, you can't see me."

"Can't see you? Is that what you think?" Calista then mouthed the words as Helvetika finished the joke. "Lady Helvetika sees everything my child. What can I do for you?"

"Look Tika, can I send you some coordinates and then you to tell me what I'm up against?"

The reply was confident, "Sure thing honey, you just tell Tika and she'll set you straight. Where did you go? You get sick of Paaros Noxa? They got plenty of dungeons here back home, gal. You don't need to be runnin' out in those swamps with all them crazy Noxan monsters, you know."

"No, this has nothing to do with Paaros Noxa. And trust me, I know all about what lies beneath. I'm missing home already. One second . . ." Calista shook her head as she pulled another item out of her knapsack. It was a gyroscope. She set it on the floor and gave it a spin. " . . . let me see here . . . Okay, I have a reading of 4273.3 by 0921.7. How's that?"

"How's that? You're just on the other side of the valley. That's the good news. The bad news is that no one I know has been there yet. Must be new."

Oh, I know where I am lady, I just don't know what I'm up against. Calista rubbed her eyes. She had a guess at what had happened now. This had to be a new dungeon. Just uploaded. Might even be part of the new campaign that Concept had promised in the next patch.

However, what had her bent in knots was that cloaked figure she'd met at that tavern in Hilltop. He had lured her in here, which begged the question: Was this dungeon being run by a Player or was it an NPC A.I? Some of the more advanced players could own dungeons, but she hoped it was the latter. She was in no mood to listen to another player with an agenda. She had endured enough of those already.

"Let me tell you Calista-honey, I ain't never heard of the place before. Looks like a few Delvers have gone in but not come out. I'd be wary if I was y - …."

What in the name of Yanar was I thinking? She sighed again as she reached down to the box and turned the crank again.

Helvetika's voice came back with a "Wwwwrrrrrrrr … Where do you get some kinda idea that you're gonna put a dungeon below the ruins of an old gazebo when we got ruined keeps, castles, and fortresses all up and down the coast? I seen dungeons like this a few times. I don't know what you've gotten yourself into honey, but let me tell you, it ain't gonna be pretty."

Calista quickly cut in before Helvetica could hang up. "I got that part, but can you tell me anything useful? This place is a lot more advanced than I thought it would be. I've already had to deal with armed trolls as guards and a dragon of some strange breed that I've never seen before."

"Well …" Helvetica's voice stalled.

Calista rubbed her eyes in frustration. She's thinking, she doesn't know what to say. It's just my luck that my one lifeline to the outside is clueless.

The seer's voice returned, "…I'm getting a reading. It says … Five secrets to hide, five keys to hold. The first one is found, for the Delver is bold. Go deep in the dark, there are eyes so be wary."

Well I guess that's better than a kick in the pants, she thought as she looked at the puzzle box. "Is there anything else?"

"I can't say for certain," Helvetika answered. "I fear this maze isn't meant to be defeated Calista-honey. I don't know who told you to try there, but this isn't your average dungeon. This wasn't designed for adventure and fun and teamwork and experience points. It was designed to keep things there and sometimes those things are players who weren't invited to the party."

"What about the guy handing out the invitations?" She asked. "Can you see anything about him?"

"What do you mean?" Helvetika asked.

"I mean the man who told me to investigate this place."

"Who told you to investigate this place?"

"A man in a hooded cloak that I met in a tavern back at Hilltop."

"What did he look like?"

"I don't know, he was wearing a hooded cloak."

"Oh."

There was silence as Helvetika thought about this.

"Only bits and pieces," Helvetika said. "Something about a wizard that needs you, but that's about it. Oh, and the person who's running that place is a player, perhaps in more sense than one. I wish you all the best babe. You're one of my favorite customers."

"And you're my favorite seer." Now it was Calista's turn to sigh. "Is there anything else you can tell me? Anything at all?"

"Only this: Whatever you're facing, wherever you are, the further you go, the further you'll fall."