What Are Feelings

"Hahaha a million words I can't wait to see you accomplish it. Whatever you need me to do, this old man will. A million words hah my son's going to be an author. Truly surprising." Father Su laughed loudly and was smiling like he just received news from the heavens. Looking closely you could see the same handsome facial outline that his son has.

Mother Su also had a brilliant smile as she said "congratulations Tian'er as well as good luck on your endeavors."

"Congrats big brother." Su Qingqing chimed in from the side still with slight traces of red in her eyes from the debacle earlier.

'Alright, here comes my acting skills. After I shock them I need to real them in so I can escape the plot.' Thought Su Tian in his heart.

"Thank you everyone. Now onto another matter I plan to move away from the city for awhile." Saying this Su Tian got just the reaction he expected he would going to get.

"What!" All three spoke and had their jaws drop at the same time.

After his initial shock father Su frowned and spoke first. "Where do you plan to go and what's your reason?" He was starting to suspect something wrong with his son.

Immediately after hearing her husband finish speaking mother Su chimed in and asked "what about your engagement, have you talked to your soon to be wife about any of this? I really don't think that girl is willing to leave, she's to ambitious. Which isn't a bad thing, it's just that her companies here…"

Noticing her pause Su Qingqing also asked "how far is it?" Then she started feeling confused, wondering. 'Since when have I cared for this guy, he's basically ignored me for years. Ptooey, go away.'

Hearing the concern in his families voice Su Tian reassured them. "I want to go into seclusion for writing. Though to be honest I haven't picked a place yet but the more secluded it is the better I guess."

Facing his mother, Su Tian looked slightly guilty. He knows, just how much she has been looking forward to tonight's banquet. Knowing that it's better to just rip off the bandaid early he decided to get straight to the point. "I'm planning on doing that today. This engagement will probably be outright terminated, don't you think it's been postponed enough?"

Taking a breath he put on a depressed look and continued. "I honestly have no clue what I feel for her anymore. Everyone here knows our situation. As children we were good friends we basically grew up together. Our first seven years of school we had every class together then for the resto of high school we had no classes together but we still saw each other occasionally in school. During this time, I realized I had feelings for her, heck she was the only girl outside this family I had ever cherished."

Pausing briefly for dramatic effect Su Tian then continued his mood somber "I also began to realize that as we were seeing each other less and less the distance between us began to grow and grow."

Suddenly getting he excited Su Tian kept speaking. "Suddenly I had it, a strategy to keep her, a strategy to prevent myself from losing her. Have our families get us engaged. I immediately came to you and asked if we could get engaged as soon as we graduate from high school."

Looking between his parents SuTian continued "that night, we all went over to her family immediately only to hear she was studying with some friends and that her parents would talk to her that night about it. Later the next day, we heard from them that everyone agreed but, the engagement ceremony and further on wedding could only be done after we completed all of our studies. I was extremely excited. Yes, we can be together forever. She can be a part of my family. This family I hold so dear. Excited about what the future holds for us I immediately went to go see her…" hesitating briefly he looked at the gradually reddening eyes in the room. "When I saw her I was hoping to hear her say tian gege I missed you like she'd say when we were young. What I recieved on the other hand was a slightly cold 'hello Su Tian' as time went on she became colder and colder until today where any warmth I've ever felt from her seems, and I guess is, gone. The sunshine that used to light my life now gives me a chill like the deepest trench in any ocean."

Seeing the tears in his mothers eyes Su Tian was reluctant and wanted to stop but decided to see things through. "I soldiered on though, hoping I could find that ray of sun again so I chased her even harder, but she got even colder. What could I do? Should I just stop caring about her? Loving her?" He paused momentarily to recollect himself "I've always cared for her and I might always from now on, but I know now, at this rate we will both be miserable. I want to be in a house as loving as this one when I grow old, you know? So I plan to talk to her today about canceling our engagement at the engagement party tonight. I think it would be best for all parties involved."

Before he could continue speaking mother Su's sobs could be heard, through her tears she spoke "bah leave her, my son is so precious and honest to his feelings and others. Who does that girl think she is?"

"Mom it's fine, just how life goes I guess. Let's forget all about it like a fart in the wind." Su tian wanting to lighten the mood joked.

Father Su interrupted suddenly "how long have you been planning all this?"

Su tian turned to his father and winced, he knew his father was upset with him for keeping secrets. 'Ughh I hope dads not pissed, he has this rule about no secrets that even he himself must follow. Something about a secret and a lie being almost the same thing and open and upright people have no need for either.' He gathered his courage stuck out his chest and spoke. " I've been planning this for awhile. I've wanted to be an author for a long time. I've also wanted to see if my feelings with her could still rekindle, but my sparks weren't big enough for her tinder."

"Hahaha definitely not a bad author. Fine, you may go." Father Su stopped Su Tian before he could get all mushy again.